[the-trans-dragon]

A fish walks into a bar.

"Hey, there you are!" the bartender says. "We've been lookin' all over for you! Where've you been?"

The fish says, "Canada."

[cakelovessalad]

this is so wild

[killorbekillian]

Narration, in a serious, dramatic voice: We find no evidence paranormal activity inside this mine, but we do find an absolutely adorable kitty kitty.

Person on screen, using a baby voice: Hi little kitty kitty! Hi little kitty kitty! Ohh, you’re just a little kitty kitty!

[just-a-geekygoth]

[travellingdragon]

[travellingdragon]

Studies for The Fighting Temeraire.

[punished-venom-solitair-e]

everyone post your biggest hear me outs my friend just showed me two conventionally attractive white men in a row i need to teach him what a real hear me out is

[gardenofeden5457]

.world's largest excavator- nay, world's largest vehicle- the bagger 288

.also, scale reference! just the wheel is 70 feet in diameter

[ceruinus]

'here's a real hear me out' >>posts world's most conventionally attractive piece of machinery

[diphowell]

i'm rereading ywgttn and this part really got me.

like.

[easilyannoyedceramicist]

Recently started embroidering and discovered the joy of decorating my clothes

The Dino bones pants are still a work in progress, I’ve only finished embroidering one of the pockets

[blairwitchdiaries-deactivated20]

turns out my life purpose isn’t supposed to be as small and silent and accommodating and convenient as possible

[manga-and-stuff]

Source: Vinland Saga ヴィンランド･サガ

by Makoto Yukimura

[maelwife]

Maybe one reason time seems to speed up in adult life is because when your full time job leaves you roughly 5 hours of free time a day plus two days off a week your life turns into a sort of monotony that makes the days blend together and creative pursuits move in slow motion as you can only get to them when other your commitments are done.

[maelwife]

When you look back and think damn 2019 wasn’t that long ago where did the time go? Job. Your Job took it.

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[3000s]

after 2 years working outdoors all day i finally got stung by an onion for the first time yesterday and i wasnt even doing anything there wasnt even a nest nearby

[3000s]

a wasp. i was looking at a onion just now sorry

[fishiesgarden]

my grandmas dawg

[jadejetts]

heres what your grandmas dog wold look like. if they were a trail of ant

[fishiesgarden]

im getting sick of this.

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[sixlegnag]

The latter also applies to recipes that seem like they should have a bay leaf and don't have a bay leaf. Listen to the angels speak. They care about you.

[officialpenisenvy]

in my high school a few years ahead of me there was a polyamorous girl named luna who was dating a guy and a girl and the girl was named (i swear to god this is her birth name) marea. they were named moon and tide and they were lesbian lovers. i thought it was the most romantic fated thing ever as a tiny baby queer it would make me sigh in adoration. the boyfriend's name was frank

[4whomittolz]

[elbiotipo]

"warm, shallow seas" is one of the most beautiful phrases in paleontology and it's everywhere... these mollusks lived in warm, shallow seas... scientists think that photosynthetic life evolved in warm, shallow seas... in that era the Earth was covered by warm, shallow seas...

I wish I was resting by an antediluvian warm, shallow sea

[depsidase]