A fish walks into a bar.
"Hey, there you are!" the bartender says. "We've been lookin' all over for you! Where've you been?"
The fish says, "Canada."
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation

#extradirty
styofa doing anything
Sade Olutola
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@the-trans-dragon
A fish walks into a bar.
"Hey, there you are!" the bartender says. "We've been lookin' all over for you! Where've you been?"
The fish says, "Canada."
they really don't respect the time of disabled people. your application can take up to 12 weeks. the specialist waitlist is 3 years. your assessment will be any time within the next 6 months. let us know if you cannot attend this appointment you waited 7 weeks for and we'll reschedule next year. we've decided to assess you at this time and day and you have to be available or any support you dared to apply for is not going to happen. and in between these long bouts of waiting you have to survive the everyday
things used to be $5
my elf roommate: *smoking a caterpillar*
me: Are you fucking kidding me Larius I told you to do that outside, now it's gonna smell like ass in here all day
my elf roommate: *puffs a perfect ring of smoke* What Is A Day In A Life That Lasts Centuries?
me: not everybody lives as long as you dude. put that thing away
my elf roommate: That Is Not What Thy Mother Said
me: hilarious
my elf roommate: Hello
i need everyone to get into college football right now i am dying to talk about the texas tech situation. this is the kind of thing that will be referenced for the next 100 years. there will be documentaries and biopics about this.
no one asked but here
texas tech's quartback, brendan sorsby, was investigated for sports gambling. i know sports betting is all the rage right now, but athletes themselves are not allowed to do it. it is Rule Number 1 and it is the highest priority rule for the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA), who governs all athletic programs at about 1,100 colleges in the US.
the invesitagetion of sorsby revealed that, not only did he place more than 9,000 sports bets when he himself was a collegiate athlete, but 40 of those bets were AGAINST HIS OWN TEAM when he was playing at indiana university. immediately, this threatens the integrity of the sport, and especially because indiana is the hottest team right now as the defending national champion.
the NCAA, which is largely a sham organization these days (they've truly lost their grasp and college athletics are the wild west now) actually enforced their Number 1 Rule and told sorsby his career is over, that he would never play college football again (and, subsequently, that he would never get drafted into the NFL because his college career was cut short).
well, because the NCAA is a husk of its former self, sorsby and texad tech immediately took this to court. MANY athletes have learned these past few seasons that if you can find a judge who's a fan of your team, you can get any NCAA ruling overturned. that's exactly what texas tech did. they filed a suit in Lubbock, where the university is located and where every judge is an alum of texas tech. so sorsby was granted an injunction and will now only be suspended for the first 2 games od the 2026 season (which are alwayd against no-name teams that will be destroyed regardless of who's suspended).
every other school in the country immediately went on the defensive because this is a very clear integretiy issue. so nebraska and georgia (sic em dawgs) released statements saying that all currently-scheduled competitions witb Texas Tech in ANY sport will be canceled and there will be no future schedulings. at least 3 of the major conferences (SEC, Big 10, Big 12) , who account for almost all division 1 sports teams in the country, are also in discussions about cancelling comtests. Texas Tech is part of the Big 12, and there is serious talk of all other teams in the conference shutting texas tech out.
now would probably be time where i say that texas tech is one of the wealthiest programs in college football becaise there is a single billionaire alumnus pouring money into the program with hopes of essentially buying a championship. so texas techs integrity has always been questionable. anyway, the university president put oit a statement that he doesnt care that sorseby violated regulation and that texas tech will sue any school that refuses to play them because it jeopardizes their championship prospects if they're umable to play any games.
this is all just startomg but its so juicy and delicious. the NCAA is going to crumble to dust if they cannot get this injunction overturned. schools like georgia and nebraska have plenty of money so a suit isnt necessarily a concern, but this will absolutely change college football forever. i cant stop reading about it.
update on this: texas tech is claiming that every school who has/is considering cancelling all contests is "afraid" that texas tech is better than them. what's funny about this is that sorsby's stats are average. he is not good enough for this kind of protection. many schools who have already cancelled or are considering it have much better quarterbacks than sorsby. also, texas tech's head coach had said that it's actually ok that sorsby bet against his own team because it "its not murder or assault."
the attorney general of texas has threatened to investigate the Big 12 conference if they sanction Texas Tech
the claim is now that texas texh university just cares so much about brendan sorsbys mental health that they have to sue everyone who calls this an integrity violation. any other school who wouldnt defend an athlete that committed this violation "doesnt care about mental health"
Wolf with a huge chum salmon that it caught in Fish Creek, SE Alaska
Photograph by Nancy Wagner
Showing off the Arapaima I made! (Pattern also made by me)
This was the test of the new pattern and I love her. 🎏💕
#0302
Sableye
PMDD pokémon mystery dungeon disorder
is the willem dafoe fish sexy
yes, he is sexy
he is kind of sexy for a fish
no, he is not sexy
is willem dafoe "fish sexy?"
yes, he is fish sexy
he is fish sexy for a human
no, he is not fish sexy
This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
the floating head of wisdom
Please don't fall victim to internet misinformation. There is no floating head. It's a regular horse, it's neck is just hidden due to the position of the camera. I made an image to help you understand the what's actually going on.
Thank you for the clarification
nya nyanny mewmew it's hard to imagine that this cat was feral at some point she doesn't look like she could handle the streets