•~Arling~•

"In The Dark, Silence Is All There Is. But With My Pen And Paper, That Silence Can Finally Speak." -the-wordsof-arling

[the-wordsof-arling]

•{ Introduction }•

What Do I Write About?

- I write about what i feel, past and present events that happened to me, and inspiration i got from movies/series or even from other writers.

What's My Gender?

- Female.

How Old Am I?

- Sixteen. (16)

What's My Sexuality?

- Bisexual

What Are My Hobbies?

- My hobbies are writing poems, dancing, singing, reading, listening to music, eating, sleeping, and watching thai series.

What Do I Love?

- I love Poetry, friends, music, food, sleeping, and black catsss.

When Did I Started Writing?

- I recently started writing when i was 15, i didn't know how to tell people how i feel or what had happened to me. But luckily poetry found me, and for the first time i finally been able to express what i felt and what i've been through in my poems, even if it wasn't said verbally. That's the reason why i started writing, not because i like it, it's because i love it.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: Maybe In Another Constellation?

At night i see the stars lining,

While i'm in a group with a star that's missing.

I feel incomplete when that star left,

Now our pattern doesnt even make sense.

How can we be called a constellation?

When we're missing a part of completion.

Maybe in another night sky,

You'll finally be with me to form our line.

We'll be complete and be a sign,

A pattern that guides us to the light.

Did you leave cause you couldn't bear to be ignored?

Or you felt left out of place and their jokes hurts to laugh along.

I miss you even if i don't show it,

It's incomplete without you here in the darkness.

I won't forget you as a friend,

Yet i know this decision you made is for your very best.

Promise me you'll be friends with better people?

Where you're included instead of discarded.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: May This Month Be Good

I stayed up til midnight just to see,

The number changing for a new beginning.

April now gone,

Will return next year.

It wasn't good,

So i have hope that may wouldn't make me mourn the living.

May be good,

Cause i'm fragile.

May the trees,

Won't whisper my pleas.

May the ground,

Wont burn my feet.

May be good,

Cause i've almost met death.

May have mercy,

Cause i know I'll slowly give in.

Give in to the thought,

Of jumping off.

The cliff so high,

I wonder if I'll survive.

I guess you can tell,

How much each month made me feel hell.

So may be good,

So I'll step far from the cliff.

May be nice,

Cause my heart is sensitive.

May this month not make me suffer,

Cause i don't want to be bitter.

I don't want to dry the halls,

From the burning suffering that stood tall.

[the-wordsof-arling]

What Hurts More Than a Break-up (Version 2)

Title: Easily Replaced

What hurts more than a break-up?

Is the fact i was easily replaced.

Five years happened,

Yet you acted like i wasn't part of your chapter in the first place.

You now ignore me,

Forgetting i was your ride or die.

It hurts my soul,

Very much that i feel empty inside.

So empty that i overthink it all,

Was i enough or was i too much? The question echoes through the walls.

You forgot about me too easily,

Like i never comforted you when your family fought.

I'm your bestfriend,

Always had that title in my hand.

But now that was taken away from me,

You replaced me with someone you don't know well.

Guess i'm easily replaced,

I'm nothing special in the first place.

I trust too easily, so it's my fault.

But i wasted my true self to someone that tells others my flaws.

You call her your bestfriend,

Then what am i now?

I was your everything and you were mine.

But now you make it look like it was all lies.

There are countless of questions left unanswered and unsaid.

But i know you won't talk to me anymore since you seem to hate me instead.

[the-wordsof-arling]

What Hurts More Than a Break-up (Version 1)

Title: Scared Of The Ending

A friendship with you is something i don't want to lose,

But why as time goes by i feel like i'm losing what i feared to lose?

I know your soul,

You know mine.

But after those five years,

Why do i feel like you are replacing me?

She calls you her bestfriend,

And so do i.

You know her secrets,

You even told her mine.

While your secret stayed with me,

No one else could make me say it out loud.

3:00 pm, after school, you called me to carry your project.

I refused because i was upset with you.

You didn't care,

Just a sorry and you thought that was enough to lift the weight off my chest.

As we walked home i was just behind you,

While you two are laughing like i wasn't there.

It hurts more than a break-up,

Is it because i'm changing?

I don't want to hate you,

But my heart feels heavy whenever i think about it.

I've accepted you fully,

I never judged you in any way.

But why did you replace me so easily?

Are you tired of being my friend and now letting me try to get the memo?

I don't want to hate you,

But it hurts more than the time i got rejected by the girl i had loved for 2 years.

I miss the friendship we had,

Even if it hadn't ended.

But it feels like it's already ending,

It feels so lonely.

I'm scared to be alone again,

I'm going to be the girl with no friends again.

You're my only friend i ever considered true,

Now i feel like you're just like everyone else.

It hurts more than the time i found out my crush liked someone else,

But i don't want to hate you, because you were once my everything.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: Can't Trust, Can't Get Attached

If my heart was a house it would be locked up,

With keys so difficult you can't open me up.

I won't let you in,

So i won't get attached.

I can't get worked up,

Cause i know i'll lose you fast.

When i let my heart trust someone,

Soon then they will show how untrusting they are.

Whenever i let my heart get attached,

Soon they will leave me detached.

That's why i set my heart with locks,

So no one else can disappoint me so much.

But i admit it gets lonely inside,

Empty without someone by my side.

Dusty cause no one could claim my trust,

It shows how broken i have become.

Every door has its keys,

But are you deserving to acquire it?

Can i trust you enough to let you in?

Or are you another clown fooling me to get in?

No matter what way of cleaning i do,

The cobwebs still there and dust kept appearing again.

Meaning that i'll bear loneliness,

Just so my soul will never get torn.

I don't want to get hurt again,

Yet i don't want to feel alone.

Life is cruel,

Breaking the ones that trusted the most.

I'll keep it locked up,

Till there's someone that finally can open me up.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: A Kitten's Love

Once was a kitten given to me so small,

Unwanted and seen as a burden as soon as you were born.

Afraid I'll hurt you with my large hands,

But they were gentle as i stroke your small head.

Fragile and weak i didn't want you to go,

I spent my saved up money to make you feel at home.

Even if you scratch me a few times,

I knew you were scared of this life.

I gave love like a mother to her child,

But i was human and you were a kitten in my eyes.

I gave you warmth in cold nights,

You gave me comfort at every unsettling night.

Your silence is precious,

Love shown even with no words given.

You grew close to me as you grew bigger,

Waiting for me to come home for dinner.

The sound of the door opening and you knew who entered,

It was me and you were already running to me like a child that missed me.

You proved love can be shown without words,

Can be returned without intentions.

The only real love i ever felt,

Was with the kitten that waits for me and is always by my side as i slept.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Happy Valentine's day to everybody out there. Valentine's is about love, and love isn't just for partners. Love is family, friends, and yourself. "Love is everywhere, wait for the right time for it to come, and never settle for less than what you are worth." - Arling's Words

(these are real pictures of me and the note i made for Valentine's.)

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: Losing What's Never Been Mine

I sat beside a garden of flowers,

Closed my eyes because i was a coward.

I opened them again just to see,

A baby's breath so beautifully mean.

It meant the love that was almost lost,

But mine was never mine no matter what the cost.

How can i relate to the baby's breath when i had already lost?

Why does it hurt even when i was nothing to her at all?

Cupid is a fraud to my heart,

Making me love just to be broken apart.

I wish to stop but my heart keeps beating,

Stupid enough to give love another chance of winning.

But love never wins from my experience,

Always leaving me behind in tears of longing.

I don't relate to the baby's breath,

Cause i lost my love without even having a chance to claim it.

I still yearn for a love that would never end,

Hoping for a love where i am heard and accepted.

Holding hands,

Smiling like there's no end.

Together in hardships,

Even in my lowest.

That kind of love i am looking for,

Understanding and mature not puppy love or adored.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: Unsaid

To the loneliest soul,

I know how you feel.

The emptiness inside,

No one could fill.

Wanted to be seen,

Heard and appreciated.

Yet always unseen,

Forgotten and left all alone in the darkness.

Felt left out,

Never belonging to any circle.

I see them laugh and smile,

While i stand at the corner.

Tried to be like them,

Changed the way i am.

Yet i'm still invisible,

Invisible yet physically visible.

I tried to fit in,

Yet i'm still a second option.

I'm no ones first,

And i'll never be their first.

I'm only a back up when theres no one else for them,

Then they will forget about me once they can stand again.

I'm always the one listening and giving advice,

Yet no one listens to me at my lowest times.

They call me a friend,

But i never felt like i was their friend.

I'm just a fading character that no one wanted.

I'm just the least liked friend among them.

Not everyone deserves to be called your friend,

Especially the ones that only made you an option.

You won't be lonely cause i'll be your friend,

I won't make you feel left out again.

The words that are unsaid,

I'll listen to them with understanding.

I'll be your one and only worthy friend,

And we will be honest about our feelings.

[izzy444angel]

[quotefeeling]

“If you knew how hard it was, and how long it took, to rebuild my little universe of peace and happiness then you would understand why I’m so picky about who I allow in my life.”

— Weird People

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: Uniquely

It blossoms blue,

Impossible to find.

Uniquely you,

I hope you see that in your own eyes.

Petals soft like a whisper to the wind,

So unique they try to find you in the field of roses.

Gifted to the ones that felt unnoticed,

A blue rose handed to the most blinded.

In the crowd you stand out from the rest,

You're one of a kind is what i meant.

So beautiful you are wanted by the rest.

Searched and desired most for their hearts to be content.

No one knows how to be you but you,

Nothing to change no matter the wound.

You're the blue rose among the field,

All eyes secretly on you, oblivious of how they feel.

Uniquely you is not enough,

You're beyond what perfect is of.

Defined only as a blue rose,

But one day you'll shine the most.

Like you're the only one in the field,

No longer unnoticed.

Just your smile,

Your hair in the breeze.

The sun is setting,

Yet you're still glowing.

[theunfortunate-author]

my daily affirmation as an author

[whendidmythoughtsgocrazy]

And if I'm meant to be alone, please take away my desire to be loved.

k.b. // unknown

[the-wordsof-arling]

- This is a poem i made for my upcoming spoken poetry competition happening at my school and i want to get someone elses opinions about it. The topic we were given is about math. What do you guys think?

Title: Calculated Life

It all started when my life began,

Calculating my life for success.

Yet i kept writing the wrong equations,

Am i stupid to not know what the value of x is?

Here we have unanswered questions,

School life and home must be congruent to have a balanced answer.

Variables known as a person's identity,

But they are seen as a waste for learning.

Comes the downs as pressure occurred,

Our life became negative numbers.

Can't focus, can't count, can't write anything down.

Failure expected when answers aren't balanced to perfection.

Remainder defined as something that lingers,

Hoping for greater success and not be in hunger.

Graphs as the process of ups and down,

Going down means you're missing out.

Does life really need to be revolved by numbers?

Does not knowing what 1 plus 1 means you'll suffer?

Been multiplied, divided yet i cant see my value,

Look into my eyes, can you tell me my value?

Will i live a good life if i know fractions?

Will i survive this world if i calculate everything possible?

What does math know that i don't?

It's the world you'll have to face when you grow old.

And here i thought their just numbers,

But they circle around life as a dominant factor.

[the-wordsof-arling]

Title: I Don't Know What To Write

I don't know what to write,

My mind so blank i just stare outside.

I look around and everything changed,

Is this the process of healing my past pain?

Or is this another way of dealing with the past?

Locked away as protection for the present me to breathe at last.

Life changed so much that i have nothing to say,

Nothing to write about, it's a shame.

No pain, no romance, nothing to share.

Once filled with creativity, now struggle to figure out what to tell.

It's funny how i was so dependent on writing how i felt,

But now i felt somehow peaceful I can't write anything else.

Quietness echoes into my ears,

Which is strange cause i've only ever heard my pouring tears.

My words seem lost,

The quietness is affecting me.

Nothing to write,

How am i supposed to keep going?

I'm a writer for god sake!

But i can't write anything.

The pain didn't stop me from writing,

Why did the quietness did?

Why did the change of lifestyle affected me,

When... It should've been the pain?

Peace is a foreign language to me,

Something i'm not familiar with.

Pain has been everything to my life,

Now it had faded into bits.

I don't know what write,

I don't know what i can do to make me write.

I'm writer,

But i feel less as a writer now.

My words scattered,

I don't know how to form my sentences.

So hard to form an emotion,

When you lack of it.

So hard to tell how your feeling,

When it had left so quietly.

I don't know what to write,

And it's disappointing me every night.