The Poem Place

Alexa | 20 | FL Main blog: night-time-day-dreams Recovery blog: wholenothappy

[the3amepiphany]

5/12/17

When I finally let myself fall, I fell hard. And things are so much harder now that we’re apart. I wake up in the morning wanting to go back to sleep, You were the one thing I wanted most, but the one thing I couldn’t keep. I go all morning without eating because I have no appetite, Then I eat more than I should, I’m not alright. I feel physically nauseous, i have a cough and a headache, Being apart from you feels like something I can’t take. I want to run right back into your arms, but I know in the end, that would just cause more harm. I broke your heart, and in breaking it, I broke mine too. I don’t know who I am without you. -@the3amepiphany

[the3amepiphany]

5/6/17 Right now I’m not okay, but I know I will be someday; And for now it’s okay to not be okay. Right now I’m not okay, but I will be someday; It may be hard now, but I’ll find a way. I’ll find a way to make it through, I’ll find a way to survive; I’ll keep on going and I’ll keep myself alive. Even when I want to die, I have a million reasons to live; Some people’s lives are better just because I exist. I am not a burden, I deserve to take up space; Sometime I feel like I’m behind, but life is not a race. I can go at my own pace, and still make it to the finish line; I’m living this life and I love it because it’s mine.

the3amepiphany

[the3amepiphany]

9/22/16

The morning after I killed myself, I woke up. My favorite song was playing on my alarm clock. I walked into the kitchen and smelled the waffles my dad was making. As I entered, I heard him say the ever-so-familiar phrase, “Waffle up!” My mom was watching some house selling show on HGTV- not really my thing, but she was so entertained. My sister sulked into the room with bedhead and a black face. She was always grumpy in the morning. Then, I headed off to church. The pastor preached a message that was made for me. It was full of hope. It made me see my potential. I learned that even if I don’t know my purpose yet, God does. After church, I went to lunch with a friend. She told me she was going to have a baby girl and buy her first house. I was overjoyed for her. When I got home, my best friend called. She told me she got the lead in her high school’s musical. I was so proud. I hung up the phone as I heard my mom calling me for dinner. My dad grilled wings and my mom made baled raviolis- my favorite meal. Then, we went down to the beach to eat ice cream and watch the sunset. The morning after I killed myself, I went back to that body in the morgue and tried to talk some sense into her. I told her about the smell of her dad’s waffles, her mom watching TV in the morning, and her grumpy, messy-haired sister. I told her about her friend’s soon-to-come baby girl and her other friend’s lead part in the musical. I told her about the pastor’s message and ice cream and sunsets. The morning after I killed myself, I tried to unkill myself, but couldn’t finish what I started.

- @the3amepiphany 9/22/16 (inspired by Meggie Royer)

[the3amepiphany]

The world is no kind because it is all kinds. We are not our race or the color of our skin,
we are what we have within.
We are not just one religion, one idea, one belief,
we are a combination of everything underneath.
We don’t fit in the boxes we try to put each other in,
we are not one or two or three, we are infinite.
Maybe one day we’ll realize that we are no kind,
but all kinds deserve love.
We are all humans,
isn’t that enough?

- @the3amepiphany

9/20/16

[the3amepiphany]

I feel nothing when I so desperately want to feel something. I do nothing when I so desperately want to do everything. I am no one when I so desperately want to be someone. I am fading when I so desperately want to stay here.

@the3amepiphany

[the3amepiphany]

I'm slowly fading out of your life, Truth is it was only a matter of time. A matter of how long it took to forget me, but I didn't make it easy. I used to call everyday and you'd answer once a week, now our phone calls are few and far between. It's been a month since we've talked, do you miss me at all? Is it really that hard to pick up the damn phone and call? How long until a conversation becomes our last? How long until I'm just a piece of your past? If you forget me, is life even worth living? And normally I'm quite forgiving, but I can't forgive you for this because I'm losing my best friend.

@the3amepiphany 5/24/13

[the3amepiphany]

Prompt from @thesoapboxofficial Romanticized reality is a very dangerous thing despite all the joy and comfort it can bring. In these wonderful delusions you can get lost, everything feels perfect, but at what cost? Because these dreams are based on reality, it's very easy to forget the difference between what will never happen and what hasn't happened yet. You see what hasn't happened yet will someday come about, but what will never happen can never happen without a doubt. But what can never happen sometimes looks like it might, and in these moments the future looks so bright. But what can never happen never will, romanticized reality is just a dream you have to kill. - @the3amepiphany 5/23/16

[the3amepiphany]

Prompt from @thesoapboxofficial

You may say I’m exaggerating when I explain what happened to me, but I swear on everything it was a fated calamity. No one was in the wrong, it was just meant to be. And although it was supposed to happen, that doesn’t make it easy. We were so in love, everything was going great. We were headed for forever when in stepped Fate. She said, “The timing isn’t right, I’m ending this love affair.” We were so happy together, but Fate didn’t care. She put a thousand miles between us, and our love began to rust. There was no stopping this fated calamity, and though it hurts, I know we just weren’t meant to be.

- @the3amepiphany 5/23/16

[night-time-day-dreams]

Prompt from @thesoapboxofficial

Depression, mania, bipolar- these are the words that plague me. Worthless, stupid, unwanted- but these aren’t the words that make me. These words are just a trick my brain plays, but it’s not a fun game. It’s a cruel, cruel game, and I wish I could stop playing. Every morning i remind myself what a good day it is, but every night is when my depression hits. I just have to keep reminding myself day by day that everything will be okay. And maybe one day I’ll believe it.

- @the3amepiphany 5/21/16

[the3amepiphany]

Prompt from @thesoapboxofficial

I can picture our first date- You show up a little late, but I’m not mad because you have flowers for my mother and you shake my fathers hand and you open my car door like a gentleman. You take me out to dinner, and then we go bowling. I’m a little bit nervous, but I hope it’s not showing. On the drive home, I show you my favorite songs, and I can’t help but sing along. You walk me to the door and pull me in tight, you give me a kiss at the end of the night. I picture us sometime down the road after a couple years or so. You take me back to that bowling alley, and you get down on one knee and ask “Will you marry me?” Of course I say yes, I’ve been waiting for this. I show the ring to my parents and friends. A few more years later we’re in front of all our friends and family, I’m in a wedding dress and you smile when you see me. I’m walking down the aisle with a great big smile. After all I’ve been planning this for quite a while. I get to the end of the aisle, I read my vows and say “I do.” But none of this is real- It’s just my mindless indulgence on you.

[the3amepiphany]

Prompt from @thesoapboxofficial Do you remember me? I remember you. I remember your laugh, do you remember mine too? I remember all the great times we had, so many memories from the past. Do you cherish these memories like I do? Do they mean as much to you? Sometimes I feel like I'm fading away, and you'll completely forget me someday. Sometime my phone rings, but it's never you calling. Without you around, I feel like I'm falling. Without you around, it's hard to face a new day. You no longer know me, I'm fading, fading away. - @the3amepiphany 5/18/16

[the3amepiphany]

Prompt from @thesoapboxofficial

Your story looks a lot like mine, and that’s what I’m afraid of. 
You always say you’re doing fine, 
but I know that road is tough. 
Your life runs parallel to mine, 
we stop at all the same places. 
You say you’re doing fine, 
but when I look at you my heart races. 
I know what’s down that road 
‘cause it’s the one I almost chose. 
I hope you’ll realize what I realized 
and not go that way. 
I hope you’ll realize what I realized 
and choose another day.

- @the3amepiphany 5/17/16

[the3amepiphany]

Picture prompt from @thesoapboxofficial

The Earth is as fragile as an eggshell. Let me tell you how i can tell. Every condition is exactly right to facilitate human life. The sun and the moon are the perfect distance away. The planet’s on a tilt and it rotates. The Earth is very fragile indeed. It seems as if it was made just for you and me.

- @the3amepiphany 5/16/16

[the3amepiphany]

Picture prompt from @thesoapboxofficial I am a falling leaf, but you are a tree- strong and sturdy as can be. I am a broken vase, I fall apart once or twice a day, but you put me back together and you say you'll do it forever. I can't think about forever, I'm not ready, but your arms feel so strong and steady. When you wrap them around me, everything feels okay. And I think maybe my forever can start today. - @the3amepiphany 5/16/16

[the3amepiphany]

Picture prompt from @thesoapboxofficial She was a ship in a bottle- pretty but going nowhere. One day she stopped moving- she just got stuck there at a dead end job with dead end dreams. She is exactly what she seems- a broken girl stuck in a rut who just stopped trying when things got tough. Yes, she just stopped trying, she threw it all away and she regrets it every single day. - @the3amepiphany 5/16/16

[the3amepiphany]

Picture prompt from @thesoapboxofficial We're all prisoners to time, it just keeps on ticking by. Time won't wait for me or you no matter what we do. Time won't wait for you or me, I tell you this life isn't easy. Growing older shouldn't mean giving up, but for so many people it does. We're all prisoners to time, it will never stop ticking by. - @the3amepiphany 5/12/16

[the3amepiphany]

Picture prompt from @thesoapboxofficial You are my starlight, You brighten my life. Nothing compares to the way you smile. You are my starlight when everything is dark. I hope we'll never be apart. You are my starlight, You always shine. And you will be forever mine. - @the3amepiphany 5/12/16