pacific rim fucks severely for a lot of reasons but my favorite is that it opens with "the lizard aliens are unionizing so we built robots running on the power of love to fight them you got all that right" and before you have time to really process that concept bam gunshot body on the floor and the movie goes "now consider the vast power of grief in this setup" it never really stops considering
Summary: The first summer of the cottage, Shane takes Ilya to a local dive bar for date night. It becomes a thing.
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“Is this man bothering you?”
Shane looked up from his menu to see the bar owner – Céleste – glaring at the person sitting across the booth from him. She spoke in French, and Shane replied in kind.
“Every day of my life since 2008.”
“Would you like me to get rid of him?”
“You are talking about me, yes?” Ilya asked without looking up from his menu.
“I think I’ll keep him around.” Shane smiled. “He’s too pretty to kick out.”
“Hm. This is true.”
Céleste took their orders then, switching to English to confirm Ilya’s, before storming away.
Ilya glanced about the dive joint, clearly unnerved. There were so much old shiplap and flannel, and tiny lights strung across the long bar. The three TVs boasted hockey games, even now – during the summer – but the crown jewel of the whole establishment was the signed and framed Shane Hollander Metros’ jersey behind the bar.
They sat tucked in the very back corner booth. Céleste had ushered them there the moment they entered the joint, and it was a private space where few patrons could see them.
“It will be much easier to murder me and hide my body here,” Ilya offered, arms crossed on the table.
A shrug. “Why do you think I invited you?”
“Not for the wild, hot sex?”
Shane thought for a moment. “Okay, maybe I brought you here for two reasons.”
While Shane loved his cottage and loved getting away from the pandemonium that was the Montreal hockey scene – it was isolating. He and Ilya swam. They played hockey or soccer. They binged Love It or List It and the entire Fast & Furious franchise, and yes, they had incredible, mind-blowing sex – but Shane wanted to actually do something with Ilya.
Nothing crazy. Maybe food shopping. Or see a movie. Or visit the local lake house and rent kayaks.
He eventually resolved to bring Ilya to Bar Down.
It was a dive bar. There was no other word for it. Tucked away on the northern shore of the lake, it was one of the only eateries in the area and hosted mainly the locals who knew it existed. Shane had patronized the joint every time he came to Lanaudière, and he absolutely loved the owner.
They were taking a risk. Just one fan with a camera could jeopardize their careers, but Shane felt safe in Bar Down.
He ventured across the table to hook his pinkie with Ilya’s. Céleste brought them over a candle in a glass with rice along with their dishes. They shared questionable poutine – the cheese curds melted too quickly and the French fries were a bit soggy – and then they dug into vanilla cake with a maple sauce layer.
Ilya laughed as he took a swig of his beer, which sported a polar bear on the can. “This is so Canadian.”
Shane threw back his own beer. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
“Is not,” Ilya assured as he dug back into the vanilla cake. “Maybe boring. This is cake with favorite Canadian flavor – ”
“I mean, it’s not our favorite – ”
“– but is good.”
“I’m sure Russians enjoy tinned bear meat and a vodka-soaked cake?”
“Yes. It’s what we serve every Thanksgiving.”
Shane snorted, but Ilya’s eyes practically danced in the low light of the bar. God, he was so handsome, and Shane was so in love.
Céleste returned with the check and placed it pointedly in front of Ilya. “You want to take care of our Shane?” she said in forced English.
Ilya glanced at Shane before meeting Céleste’s hard, demanding eyes. “As much as he takes care of me.”
“Then why do you give him such shit on the ice?”
“Because he is the best,” Ilya replied, easy. And perhaps it was. “He needs someone to make him earn it. He will enjoy it more.”
Céleste narrowed her eyes at Ilya. Then, she reached out, took the check, and slid it across from Shane. “You pay for him. He’s a keeper.”
Shane couldn’t stop the smile from crossing his features. “I know. I’m lucky.”
Ilya ducked his head, clearly uncomfortable, and Shane felt a tap against his sneaker.
Dinner at Bar Down became a weekly ritual when they were at the cottage, and the regulars nodded and shook their hands when they arrived. But no one bothered them once they slid into their booth.
Once, a person tried to sneak a picture, but Luc – the forty-year-veteran postal worker – simply put a hand over the camera.
“We don’t do that here,” he muttered.
The younger man gulped and put away his phone.
Shane’s jersey remained lonely all through that first summer.
“I cannot have Boston on these walls,” Céleste said firmly. There was no room for discussion.
But that second summer, she dropped an 81 Centaurs’ jersey in front of Ilya the first dinner they returned to the bar.
“Let’s fucking go, Rozy. We gotta get you up there.”
And it was there, in Lanaudière, in a dive bar on the north shore of the lake, that Shane and Ilya’s numbers hung side by side for the first time.
It was not the last time.
Fin
A/N: “Bar down” refers to a high-speed shot that hits the bottom of the crossbar and ricochets directly down into the net for a goal. I have to be honest – I watched hockey for twenty years, and I don’t remember hearing this phrase. IDK. But I read it and liked it.
According to sources a new boyband has been formed at Bootcamp with 5 solo contestants thought to be more promising as a group.
The boyband made up of auditionees: Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, Liam Payne, Niall Horan and Zayn Malik
(Liam being one of this years re-auditonee’s)
The boyband are yet unamed.
Previous groups formed at Bootcamp have usually been doomed from the start and although usually making it through to the live shows don’t go much further. Futureproof, Hope and Miss Frank to name the most well known,
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.
at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly
at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.
at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.
At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.
Re: pets and the hollanders, Yuna gives me major bird owner vibes, just a massive bird that loves sitting on her shoulder and swearing at bad hockey calls with her. They live so long that it could've even have been her parents (sitting on her fathrr's shoulder, swearing at hockey together), just imagine Yuna's entire life being narrated by a multilingual bird, no wonder she's so good at negotiation, lol. (A bird that will probably be inherited again one day, sorry Ilya, that bird will live forever).
her name is miko.
yuna's dad bought her for her mom after they moved to canada because she got lonely at home after they first arrived because they were so far from family, and it is an extremely husband move to be like, "sad? i know what will fix this. giant loud bird. PERFECT."
yuna's mom did indeed love miko, and yuna bonded with miko after her mom's death because it felt like she had someone to grieve with who missed her like she did (i the writer just teared up thinking about that oh my god). when yuna moved out, miko went with her because miko got along with yuna's dad but in the spirit of "we share a house, so i'll tolerate you" lmao. yuna knew that david was the one for her when she brought him back to her place for the first time and he immediately greeted miko like a person.
shane experiences sibling-like tension with miko lmao.
in a lot of ways, miko is like his older sister (sits with them at family meals, HAS come on vacation with them before, has to be greeted in the morning or his mom gets mad at him and also miko yells) except she is FUCKING LOUD. she tragically knows his name because yuna taught it to her after bringing shane home and introducing them (how could you condemn him like this, mom? she knows like twenty words and one of them HAD to be his name??? what the FUCK??), so the SECOND miko sees him or hears him or just thinks he's in the general vicinity, you are hearing "SHANE! SHANE! SHANE!" loud enough that the fucking NEIGHBORS know when there has been a Shane Spotting.
(also VERY salty from being told that miko's japanese is better than his. how is he losing to a BIRD.) (what do you MEAN her pronounciation is better.) (she has a BEAK.) (blue and gold macaws aren't even the clearest talkers when it comes to parrots, what do you MEAN miko is beating him?) (she only knows a few words and she's WINNING??) (just because she calls you yuna-chan doesn't mean she should get to WIN, mom.)
does miko understand hockey? doubtful. does she understand when yuna is mad and decide it's Time To Screm? YEP. not helped by yuna and david both egging her on with, "you tell 'em, miko!" (poor bb autistic shane with this LOUD ASS BIRD intruding on his sacred hockey time).
shane also denies it but he nurses a grudge to this fucking day about the time he was 15 and got miko out because she wouldn't stop Shane Screeching until he did but then stopped watching her for like. FIVE minutes getting ready to leave for a game.
ONLY TO COME OUT. TO THIS FUCKING BIRD. HAVING SYSTEMATICALLY UNWRAPPED ALL THE TAPE FROM AROUND HIS HOCKEY STICK.
SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE.
HE KNOWS IT.
SHE DID IT TO FUCK WITH HIM.
(not helping this is that miko has yuna's mom's laugh, which is nice because it means yuna still gets to hear it, but having to leave like RIGHT NOW only to have this bird fuck you over and then laugh in your face??? it is the closest shane has ever come to throwing hands with miko.)
he is just FURTHER pissed when miko takes a liking to ilya. he had to grow up with this annoying bird and now she's trying to STEAL HIS BOYFRIEND??? ridiculous.
they're birdsitting for david and yuna when they're on a cruise one summer, and miko rarely leaves ilya's shoulder the whole time. while ilya is shirtless!! he can SEE her claws digging in? but miko gets cuddles and to offer her opinions on what ilya is doing but shane can't snuggle against his shoulder on the couch because miko will start preening his hair, which is Annoying? ridiculous.
he wakes up one morning to find them showering together.
*teenaged shane home alone voice while this loud ass bird is squawking* "shut the fuck UP, miko"
*miko, immediately playing word association* "UP MIKO! STEP UP MIKO! STEP UP MIKO! UP! STEP UP MIKO!"
"NO"
*now mad she's been baited and switched for what appeared to be an offer of out of cage time* "STEP UP MIKO!"
"NO. FUCK OFF."
"SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHANE. SHA-"
an hour later yuna and david get home to a visibly furious shane sulking on the couch and throwing miko's ball for her so she can chase it because he lost a battle of wills to a bird.
ilya and shane housesitting for yuna and david one weekend (because it's just easier for miko to stay where she is) and getting a little hot and heavy in the guest room and thus missing the tap tap tap tap tap of little birdy feet on the hardwood until ilya groans out "shane" and immediately sets off a "SHANE SHANE SHANE SHANE SHANE" that makes them slam their heads together startling at their sudden chaperone making herself known
it's a family joke to refer to miko as shane's sister, which is all well and good until a camera catches ilya teasing shane after a game about, "we HAVE to go over tonight, shane. we promised your sister. she misses you."
and ooooh? shane hollander has a SECRET sister??? he has NEVER mentioned a sister before! he has, in fact, previously said he is an only child! scandal! intrigue! juicy details! hot goss-
and shane has to make a fucking instagram post going, "here she is. my sister who is not my sister. she is my mom's bird."
and now even his social media isn't safe from miko. >:(
young shane who HATED squishy grapes on his snack plate 🤝 miko who would happily take ALL offered fruit
this does unfortunately mean miko still assumes any fruit or vegetable shane has is obviously Miko Food as well, which means yuna HAS walked into the kitchen to see her son and her bird arguing about miko shoving her face in shane's blender cup of fruit in the 30 seconds his back was turned while getting the protein powder out of the cabinet
so WHAT if she has a room full of toys??? you have a bottlecap and she WANTS IT
which no one warns ilya about because they're used to just having canned drinks in the house (SPECIFICALLY for this reason lmao), which means ilya comes over one day with a bottled coke he got at a gas station on the way, and the SECOND he walks through the door, miko is just
and ilya innocently picks miko up when she climbs down off of her perch to tip tap on over to him only to get fucking MUGGED by this parrot who is trying to rob him in a flurry of wing flaps and squawking when he doesn't submit to her will because he doesn't know what the FUCK is happening and he's just trying to keep his drink from getting knocked over.
and ilya in the aftermath is just hair askew, slightly sticky because he did end up splashing himself with coke, looking like he just went through WAR while miko hops away with her prize SO clearly pleased with herself
and shane is just mildly, "...so she likes bottlecaps"
Grace explaining sheepishly to Eridian linguists that the reason he uses different pronouns for Rocky than for the rest of the population is that he reflexively defaulted to assigning Rocky the same grammatical and social gender that he himself uses, in a way that has historical precedent but in modern English is considered somewhat chauvinistic and backward, and he's not proud of it but also the habit is pretty deeply ingrained now and unless Rocky objects it's probably easier to just keep on as he has been...
and immediately being informed lol. lmao. do not even worry about it. you have no idea what kind of buck wild grammatical constructs Rocky has invented for you. everyone else addresses you as foreigner/scholar. they're somehow managing to refer to you as their sibling, ward, and semidivine culture hero at the same time every time they talk about you.
i don't know if folks outside these mountains understand what a state these communities are left in after being ravaged by the coal and steel industries. they endured well over 100 years of paternalistic brutality to provide the resources that built america with nothing in return and that very much informs the culture and collective psyche. force fed opiates to undermine labor movements and hard-won unions after decades of horrific abuse at isolated company towns. living there you can feel how we're all just one giant open wound that can't heal.
if bringing in corporations to mine raw materials from the appalachian mountains was good for the community, appalachia would be known for how happy, healthy, and wealthy the people are.
A three-circle venn-diagram where the circles are "sex workers", "the furry community", and "people working in morgues". I don't know what the overlap parts are.
shout out to everyone who has any sort of maintenance job whether it's a custodian or a mechanic or a furnace repair person or a pool cleaner or a housekeeper or anything where someone shows up or I go to you, and my shit is taken care of.
Huge fan of when I have a problem that I have no idea how to handle (or no time/tools/physical strength to handle) and I call A Guy who knows how to handle it and they come and handle it for me.
oh captain, my captain @theblogrunner - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
