make the weird submit

elliott | he/they | 29 | formerly pryceandcutter | icon by ericfuckingbittle

[only-cat-memes]

[maylilithreign]

can't leave that in the notes 😂

[infectiouspiss]

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

[infectiouspiss]

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

[infectiouspiss]

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

[whetstonefires]

One of my favorite things is modern adaptations that leave people with the same careers they had in the original material, because unless you’re a cop or a doctor that practically never happens.

Irene Adler’s an opera singer. We still have those! They don’t have the same subtext exactly, but nothing is going to because we aren’t the Victorians. She could continue to be an opera singer. I have never seen this happen.

Jonathan Harker can still be in real estate. That’s a job people have. A modern story that still involves Dracula contacting his firm to help him purchase property sounds amazing actually.

[nudityandnerdery]

A modern adaptation of Dracula where you keep seeing Jonathan Harker’s face on bus stop bench ads for his realtor office.

[daddygrandpaandthebeaver]

#“This client doesn’t seem to exist online; a bit strange. But he’s elderly so it’s not that unusual” -Jonathan about to make a mistake – @capslockdoesntexpressmyjoy

[prokopetz]

I was about to joke about Quincey Morris still being a cowboy, but then it occurred to me that he’s not actually a cowboy in the source material, is he? He’s the wealthy heir of a Texas ranch-owning family who just acts like an Old West cowboy. If anything, that’s even more plausible today than it was in 1897.

[roach-works]

let’s see dracula shrug off getting hit with one of these country cosplay motherfuckers

[victusinveritas]

God, can you imagine someone from Finland (or wherever) heading to a Midwestern state fair and eating every variety of fried thing imaginable?

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

req'd by @mari13606

you know what fair enough

text: FUCK OFF ZEUS!!!

[tolerateit]

[gentlier]

As someone who often dissociated as a child, I can confidently say that you cannot read and dissociate at the same time. Dissociation means complete detachment. You are disconnected from whatever is happening in that moment. You’re on autopilot at best. I used reading as an escape, sure, but I was fully present in the moment and in the story. I was taking it all in. It was creating healthy neuro pathways in my brain that basically saved my life because it gave me something to love and look forward to.

[womanguy]

you should get a second evening for reading fan fiction. And you should get an extra day in the week to do arts and crafts.

[coldasyou]

Fuck all this, do you wanna go get a drink?

bonus:

[aropride]

guy who installs an adblocker and forgets about it and lives in a beautiful world where online ads have become much less frequent

[aropride]

lalala world so beautiful advertisements so extinct (opens website on mobile)AAAAAH!!!!!!! OH GOD MY EYES!!!!!!!!!!!

[thegrimeonline]

ily harm reduction ily sharps disposal containers in public restrooms ily those safe drug use places to help you not od ily planned parenthood ily aftercare guides ily harm reduction

[bedupolker]

I do appreciate studies giving hard data that may seem obvious to us (e.g. physical discipline is bad for kids, responsible marijuanna use probably won't give you turbocancer, UBI is pretty dope, people who get healthcare die less) but I sure do wish the opposing sides actually cared about hard data

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

once my friend made a drink he called turpentine that tasted like every worst college night out rolled into one and felt like getting whacked in the head with a hammer, and I woke up in my own apartment with my phone wallet keys clothes and absolutely zero memory of the night before, and when I checked my watch I'd walked over 60k steps.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

60k steps in the middle of the night in heels for reasons entirely unknown to me. what was I doing. where did I go. where did I come from. cotton eye joe. or whatever.

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

people are theorizing what happened so here's what I know:

the club we went to closed at 2am and 45kish steps were after 2am, meaning I wasn't still dancing at the club. we got there at 11:30pm. I don't know when we left.

none of us had any charges on our cards or venmos after getting into the club and none of us were missing cash

we all woke up with all our things and no injuries except some bruises (to be expected from a night out)

I woke up smelling like salt water which would make me think I'd ended up in the ocean(??) except my hair was still straight, none of my things were water damaged, and I was completely dry

from our camera rolls we know we were all together until around 4am, but not where we were because they're all too dark to see, which is fucking weird because we live in a city with tons of lights all night

I didn't wake my roommates up when coming home, managed to take out my contacts, cooked mac n cheese, and passed out on the living room floor

me and everyone else who'd been wearing heels had crazy blisters

my friend found a bunch of rocks in his pockets

two of my guy friends were wearing each other's shirts when they woke up (in their separate apartments)

we all got back to our apartments around 6am which we know for a fact because we all texted pictures of ourselves being home safe to the group chat, so being unbelievably hammered didn't stop us from having enough common sense to make sure we were all okay

if we'd been able to sherlock holmes together what happened it'd just be a funny night out but the fact we all have no fucking clue means we have conspiracy theories about it. and we don't let my friend make turpentine anymore.

[crazyneutral]

OP went dancing with the 12 dancing princesses pass it on

[going2hell4everythingbutbeingbi]

everyone go home this guy solved it

[trcunning]

@professorsparklepants

[knitmeapony]

yeah this is the end of a portal adventure of some kind, I'm sure of it.

[gailcarriger]

[symbieote]

In the heated rivalry universe Shane Hollander has heard about Check Please! because he reads hockey books and he is gay and it comes up in his algorithm. But he can't make himself read it until after he goes to Ottawa because he's really afraid that it would blow up his brain chemistry irrevocably and he would have an actual screaming breakdown. But since he didn't even (get to) have a breakdown at fanmailgate. He reads check please!. And he feels hollow in the out of his soul for three weeks after.

[clonedroids]

Because I feel like kids of color don’t hear it enough: domestic abuse is not a part of your culture. 

A lot of us were raised with the idea that “its normal for wives/children to get hit! it helps them learn– only white folk don’t get beaten when they misbehave”. That’s not true, white people aren’t the only ones who deserve a safe and abuse free environment. Black and brown people can and do have loving families. 

If you’re in a situation where you are enduring abuse and people use your culture to justify it, I want you to know that what they’re telling you are lies.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

as someone who studies this: statistically speaking, child abuse (including “spanking”, because all forms of hitting children are abusive) is pretty much equally prevalent in households of all racial, ethnic, and cultural backgrounds. so yeah, don’t let people use the “culture” excuse on you, but also, don’t believe others are experiencing it less just because it’s less normalized in their culture to talk about it. we all gotta work together to fix this shit.

[bunjywunjy]

HOW are these people real

[drunkygoesonadventures]

This article has everything

[paradigm-adrift]

I accidentally did a Wikipedia binge about 1st wave feminism and fashion and stumbled upon the 1890s bicycle suit. Do people know about this? Why didn't anyone tell me about this? This is dope as hell.

It's old-fashioned. It's modern. It's butch. It's femme. It's snazzy. It's practical.

Wikipedia talks about the bloomers and the leg-o-mutton sleeves, but I'm also noticing a lot of these outfits have absolute supervillain lapels, which I also like a lot.

[captain-kit-adventuress]

finally, someone else giving some love to the much-slept-on bicycle suit.

[mananabuffins]

Is that fucking Leslie Knope?