thebrokenpoet

Hi, my name is Maria ! I am very excited that you found my blog. On this blog you will find poetry and other forms of writing. I get my inspiration from my daily life. I created this blog to express myself because I have trouble doing so verbally. I have a lot of plans for this blog , it may look rough but it will get better I promise. Please feel free to ask me any questions. I truly hope you enjoy this blog.

[theworldsforgottenboy]

Every fall out boy song is like *nonsense lyric* *nonsense lyric* *the most profound cunt serving couplet in the English language since Shakespeare that sends you straight back to middle school* *nonsense*

[thebrokenpoet]

You tell me you want to die.

This isn't the first time you have said this to me .

Your not the only one tonight who have typed these words to me.

I think of  everyone who has said those same words to me in the last 24 hours

I start to picture them in front of me

My hands reach out to grasp them from the darkness but then they start to fade in front of my eyes

The darkness takes them from me

It's like they weren't there

The irony of this all is that it would kill me if I lost any of these people

You say sorry to drop this on you and leave the conversation like it was nothing

I'm left to worry if you are okay.

Whenever you talk it's never nothing to me.

Whenever they have conversations with me their words sit on my chest like  boulders .  Someone it makes it hard to breath with how heavy they are but I wouldn't want to go anywhere with out them . 

[thebrokenpoet]

How do grieve a person that is living? There is no funeral for the living. There is no poetry in this grief. I can't paint it into a pretty picture in mind. I'm fine but I'm also not at the same time. Multiple things can be true at once . We live in grey. What isn't grey is the pain I feel that's red. There is a fire burning in my chest. The sadness is coming in waves and crashing down on my cheeks.

[thebrokenpoet]

I won't be your manic pixie dream girl but boy will I make you wish I was . I can't fix you but I know you wish I could.

[thebrokenpoet]

The Giving Tree

One of my favorite books as a young girl was The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein

The tree stood so strong and and tall and she loved without fear

She loved a boy and gave without a care

It started with the boy taking her leaves, climbing her trunk, and eating her sweet fruit

She protected him from the world

She loved the boy and he loved her

She gave everything until she was just a stump

Like The Giving Tree I stood strong and tall and was full of love before you

I know I love you

But I won’t let you be the boy to my giving tree

If you take my leaves you must cherish them

If you think I will let you chop me down you are mistaken

My leaves deserve to feel every seasons

They deserve to change in fall and feel the warm beating sun in the summer

My branches deserve to feel the excitement of wind between them in the winter

I deserve to be able to bloom in the spring

Don’t think that I don’t understand that the Giving Tree was happy to give herself away

Because I do

But understand when she gave everything she had she was sad until the boy came back

Unlike a tree I don’t have the time to wait for you to come back

I don’t want to be sad if you don’t come back

[thebrokenpoet]

You touched me but your hands went right through me

I looked you right in the eyes into your soul but you could not see me

I want to anchor myself to you that way I can still be part of this world

When I reach to you and start to tie myself to your body my hands go right through you .

You can't see me but I am fading away.

Was I ever really here?

[thebrokenpoet]

I'm proud of myself I whisper

So quite I can't even hear them

I don't feel the words leave my lips

Did I imagine saying those words?

Or

Do I just not believe them ?

[thebrokenpoet]

I look at you and I just don't know

My stomach starts to ach

My brain is drawing a blank

I just want you.

[thebrokenpoet]

Jesus Christ, I just want you.

My body hurts and my brain won't work

Jesus Christ, I want you

You made me feel whole again and not broke

Jesus Christ, I want you

Where are you?

[thebrokenpoet]

Home

I have been wondering for so long

I have a house but it is not my home

I am not sure where my heart is

They say the heart is where the home is

Where is home?

I walk around and all I see are empty houses

Do they have room for a new resident?

[thebrokenpoet]

Confused

I hate you , I swear I do

You always leave me so confused

I hate you, I swaer I do

You will always mean more to me then I will ever mean to you

I hate you, I swear I do

Why can't you care?

i don't hate you, I swear I don't

[thebrokenpoet]

Weird love

This weird

I won't lie

I like you

And

I don't know why

[thebrokenpoet]

I want to be happy for you but I don't know how.

[thebrokenpoet]

Dreaming

I had a dream once that you said I was pretty

But that is all it was

A dream

[thebrokenpoet]

Alone

The more the number goes up

The more I get scared of being alone

Will I ever find love?

The clock keeps ticking

As my dad says I am running out of time

[thebrokenpoet]

Future

We were surprised when we made it to 20

Lets not be be surprised when we make it to 30.

[thebrokenpoet]

Changes

Do you ever think about how things have changed?

Because I do

Sometimes I wonder where you are

And

How you are doing

I know you don't care but that is alright

You don't need to