TF-141 HEADCANON (#2) - NIGHTMARES
Thinking about how the whole team suffers from nightmares. About how they sometimes all sleep in the same barracks and are bound to wake each other. How these men are trained to notice shifts in their environment, even dead asleep, and how a teammate shifting agitatedly in their bed, breathing too heavily for rest, grumbles and groans and sometimes incoherent words or even shouts would draw others out of sleep too.
Thinking about Soap, the next bed over, waking up when Gaz starts jerking around in his sleep, muttering half-formed com responses under his breath between grunts. About how Soap rolls out of his own bed without opening both his eyes and shuffles over to Gaz. About how he puts a gentle hand on Gaz’s back, announcing himself and starling Gaz most of the way out of his nightmare, before Soap shoves at Gaz’s hip, forcing him to make room. Thinking about how Soap climbs into Gaz’s bed behind him and curls up against his back. About how he can feel the way Gaz relaxes in his arms, comforted by the grounding touch Soap’s arms are providing. How Gaz falls back into sleep easily without a nightmare in sight.
Thinking about how the next time Soap is having a loud nightmare, Gaz moves into his bed without a word, offering the same grounding comfort that Soap had offered him. About how the two of them settle into this routine of comforting each other silently in the middle of the night. How no one says anything about them being in each other’s beds in the morning, because when they sit up, there’s a soft conversation had and the word nightmare is caught and passed through the team’s hands.
Thinking about other team members having nightmares that wake Soap and how he shuffles over to their beds, waking them gently and asking if they’d like company. About how it isn’t weird at all for him to slip into the beds of his teammates and hold them or just be nearby, because there are so few comforts in their line of work and Soap wants to do the best he can to make life more bearable for them all. Thinking about how it spirals away from just him to Gaz, then the others, until it’s almost all of them moving into each other’s beds when nightmares come for them. About how there’s no ulterior motives, no misinterpretations, just comfort in the dark nights.
Thinking about Ghost, who doesn’t participate in this sudden bed-hopping going on in the barracks, who understands what’s going on and is glad his teammates are finding comfort. About how he long ago trained himself to be quiet in every sense of the word, to take up as little space as possible in every aspect, and how his nightmares are silent because he made them so. About how when he has a nightmare, he wakes abruptly and doesn’t move, alerts no one of what’s going on, and eventually finds his way back to sleep or lies awake until it’s acceptable to get up.
Thinking about Ghost having a really rough nightmare in December and how Soap, the next bed over and already awake from his own, notices that Ghost is tense and his breathing is sharper than it should be. About how Soap carefully weighs his options before he rises from his bed and crosses to Ghost’s, how he reaches out and gently presses his palm to Ghost’s shoulder. How Ghost jerks awake, grabs Soap’s wrist, stares him down with wide eyes, and how Soap just stands there, lets him crush the bones in his wrist. Thinking about how Ghost loosens his grip when he realizes it’s Johnny, how he weighs his options before he scoots over to make room in his bed. About how Soap, cautious like he’s in the field, settles down beside Ghost mostly sitting up, back against the pillow, and how Ghost stays on his side, watching Soap fall back asleep until he’s able to too.
Thinking about how, when they wake up in the morning, Ghost is fully pressed against Soap’s side, an arm over his torso and one of Soap’s arms around his back. About how Ghost lies there, listening to Johnny’s heartbeat and breath, and realizes why the bed-hopping had become so popular, because he was fully rested with his violent nightmare little more than ash on the wind.
Thinking about how Ghost would acclimate to the idea of comfort, but only Johnny’s, and how he’d take to sliding out of his own bed and over to Soap’s when his nightmares wake him. About how, awake or asleep, Soap makes room for him and lets him decide how he wants to lay, if he wants to be held or just near.
Thinking about Soap being in someone else’s bed when Ghost goes looking for him one night. About how Ghost doesn’t bother him and instead just lies down in Soap’s bed as a substitute for his comfort that only partly works. Thinking about how Soap gets up to take a piss and finds Ghost there, and how when he gets back, he nudges Gaz awake and tells him to take over comforting whoever it was he was lying with before so that he can handle Ghost. Thinking about how Gaz does without question because he knows Ghost doesn’t like being touched by anyone other than Johnny. About how Soap climbs back into his own bed and gets sucked up into Ghost’s arms like a tornado the moment he touches the mattress.
Thinking about, on the rare occasion it happens, Ghost’s nightmare not waking him up but is loud enough to wake someone else up. About how if it isn’t Soap, they’ll wake him up and silently gesture towards Ghost. How Soap understands even asleep and trudges his way over to Ghost, making a point to grumble about his pickiness as Ghost settles comfortably around Soap’s body. Thinking about how the threats are empty and they both know it, and how they both know Soap prefers Ghost too.
