the conspiracy room

[yourfavisawarcriminal]

CONGRESS JUST VIBECHECKED BLIZZARD

[memeseverdie]

[nunyabizni]

Holy shit it’s real and it’s bi-partizan

AOC and Rubio join a bipartisan letter urging Blizzard to “reverse course” on Hong Kong bans

They fouled up bigtime if we can cross party lines like this.

[kittyinhighheels]

Holy shit this is actually real

[charlesoberonn]

The myth of Achilles, but instead of holding him by the heel, Thetis sumberges him fully so that Achilles is completely invulnerable and Thetis has one invulnerable hand.

[charlesoberonn]

She only needs one oven mitt when taking cookies out of the oven.

[aphony-cree]

But there would still be two small parts of him that are vulnerable because they were covered by her fingertips at the time, stopping the water from touching them. Which means those fingertips are also vulnerable on her hand 

Achilles *putting those little round band-aids on two parts of his ankle before battle*

Thetis *knitting fingertip oven mitts for her thumb and forefinger*

This is a Greek comedy I could get behind 

[obaewankenope]

What if she put him in a sack and dunked him in? The water would saturate the sack and soak him and so long as she pulled him out quick, he wouldn't drown. Then they'd have a sack that's invulnerable too and can be used as the most unexpected shield ever.

Imagine Achilles storming Troy with one (1) invulnerable sack for a shield

[adspexi]

thetis just sticks him in one of these bad boys

and swirls him around like a batch of chicken nuggets until he’s invulnerable all over. 

[valtsv]

the funniest character headcanons are feral, homophobic and tax evader i dont accept constructive criticism and you cant change my mind

[shaggytwodope-deactivated202104]

hates the irish, fucks to survive, war criminal

[regbian-moved-to-lezbianz]

alignment chart

[wrexingdrew]

[spar-kie]

[identificat]

[pacmantrinity-deactivated202207]

she does not FUCK

[sabrinawinslow-deactivated20191]

[gaeree]

I drew these while thinking about that Cats trailer. It IS Caturday. We still do Caturday, right? Here’s some classic cats.. as Cats.

[silentassassin21]

[olivierassayas]

[shattteredvisage]

On this blog, Kingsman The Secret Service is acknowledged as a standalone movie. No prequels or sequels exist. Elton John? You can stay but you're on thin fucking ice.

[gaphic]

‘pop’ is pretty heinous but like, I’ll accept it, yknow? it’s just the other half of ‘soda-pop,’ like how ‘cab’ and ‘taxi’ are the two halves of ‘taxicab.’ it’s fine. it’s chill.

but coke? that’s a fucking brand name! of a specific drink with a specific flavor! that shits RUDE, it’s CONFUSING, it’s DOWNRIGHT NONSENSICAL! fuckin misusing the art of language to confound your fellow man! the gall! learn some fucking respect

[saturniidae-served-cold]

No it just happens sometimes. Its like jell-o, kleenex, popsicle, scotch tape. It just happens.

[mothric]

But that’s not a good parallel at all. You can’t compare calling Sprite “coke” like a lawless heathen to the classic linguistic phenomenon of generic trademarks / proprietary eponyms, and I’ll tell you why:

‘Jell-o’ is a brand name under which multiple flavours of gelatin (and pudding/custard) are produced. There isn’t just “Jell-o” and then special “strawberry Jell-o”; the name has never denoted just one specific flavour.

‘Popsicle’ is the same as Jello, it was never a name for just one flavour of popsicle.  

‘Kleenex’ is a specific brand of tissues, but it’s not inherently that distinct from other tissues. They are all lightweight tissues used to blow your nose.

‘Scotch tape’ is used to refer to any tape that is like the original scotch tape, i.e., clear, thin, small, sticky on one side. We don’t call all tape ‘scotch tape’. Electric tape, duct tape, and packing tape are all their own things, and anybody who calls any of them ‘scotch tape’ has no regard for their fellow man and ought to be thrown into the sea.

MEANWHILE, Coca-Cola is a specific kind of soda with its own distinct flavour. When Coca-Cola makes other flavours, they’re called “vanilla Coke,” “cherry Coke,” etc. but “Coke” is still its own standalone flavour, a wholly other Thing apart from the “special” flavours the company produces. 

It would make far more sense if people used ‘coke’ the way we use ‘scotch tape’; that is, to denote only those sodas that are similar in appearance and taste to Coca-Cola (Pepsi, RC, Shasta Cola, etc.). I could see all of those being lumped in under a generic term ‘coke’. I could even see it being extended to all brown sodas, even though comparing Root Beer to Coke is like comparing a badger to a zebra just because they’re both black-and-white mammals. You’re on thin fucking ice but at least there’s still some semblance of logic.

But no. You southerners, who bask in your sun and heat and chew upon your wheat stems with the indifference of an armadillo in the face of oncoming traffic, you who revel in lawlessness and chaos, you linguistic delinquents who fear neither God nor man, 

you are really going to look at a list of drinks that includes such variety in taste and apperance as Sprite, Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew Code Red, Orange Fanta, and Dr. Pepper, and call it all “Coke.” 

You’re going to picture, in your mind, a clear, lemon-lime fizzy drink and request “coke.” And then when asked “what kind?” you will not say “Coke Zero,” “Diet Coke,” or “Cherry Coke,” no. You will answer “Sprite,” like an animal, like a feral possum who knows the ways of right and wrong and chooses wrong just to spite its creator. 

And then you have the gall to say it’s an eponym as valid as ‘Jello’. No. You tossed your logic into the dumpster fires of the underworld long ago, you cannot justify it now. You cannot tell me you don’t know your own crimes. “It’s all coke,” you say, and you taste the sin of it on your tongue, and you laugh. Know this, that you are inviting judgment upon yourself and one day you will be devoured by the sun.

[agardenandlibrary]

As a southerner, this is the funniest damn thing I’ve ever read.

[zhivchik]

[claryfairhild]

i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24  find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.

[kaerya]

Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but …  it’s not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think.  “One day you will find someone,” sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn’t lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it’s not necessarily true.

My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance.  She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up.  My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.

We all know women (and men) like these.  And because we know them, we know that “one day you will find someone,” is just … hogwash.  Because sometimes you just … don’t.  Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad.  Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible.  And because society has us so fixated on finding “our other half” or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.

But … 

My aunt trains dogs.  Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed.  She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them.  I ride horses because of her, and it’s one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.

My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state.  She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense.  Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around.  Because of her, they’ve had a life to turn around.  Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law.  She’s still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty.  It’s because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.

These women’s lives are not nothing.  In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 am’s, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.

So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens.  Love your job or your hobby or your raison d’ etre, whatever it is.  Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and don’t love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.

It’s fucking hard some days.  The dark 3 am’s still come sometimes.  But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared.  And if the other kind does come someday, that’ll be nice, but it won’t make any of the others less.  It’ll just be caramel sauce on a sundae–tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.

[sarahviehmann]

I needed this today.

[theconspiracyroom]

can’t believe mv got his king’s man-->kingsman idea from a 2017 fanfic 

“Are you a prince?” “Heavens, no.” “A king’s man, then?” “Sorry?” “You save people like the king. So you must be the king’s man.” “A Kingsman. Yes, I guess you could call me that."

[presenteyesonyou]

Taron Egerton finding out what a bussy is has made my day

[prewars]

#he experienced the entire range of human emotion in those 11 seconds

[wandercrusty]

[avishabilis]

Say it again.

[heallbeecat]

IMPORTANT

[3fluffies]

Yup!  Definitely categorized as “only alive because it’s illegal to kill them.”  But it is NOT illegal to deny them employment, assistance, aid, comfort, friendship, or any acknowledgement whatsoever from civilized society.

[gutterballgt]

[brokendeathangel]

Don’t ever talk to me or my son ever again!

[colinfirthaddicted]

☆ COLIN FIRTH ADDICTED ☆

~~ NEW PICS ~~

#ColinFirth at the Chopard Gentleman’s Evening in Cannes - 21 May (chopard - Instagram)

[unwinthehart]

“I’m sorry, I can’t look at you darling. I’m gonna get lost in your eyes…”

[filthyfirth]

I found perfect

[bone-kun]

The mirrors! ♥ I almost cried when I finished coloring and realized I had to add some backgrounds. Mostly I copy and pasted some photos and blended them in a bit to make it work better. The dining room wallpaper texture I traced myself a while ago, thank GOD.

See the full stand here.