re-watching the original trilogy is great because you really get a sense for how weird luke skywalker is, just how quickly he becomes that weird AND how quickly he commits to it. Like he's honestly pretty chill in a new hope, but the absolute INSTANT he figures out he can move shit with his mind he goes full send on the cryptic off-putting bullshit. Walking around in full black robes, speaking in riddles, aura farming and backflipping whenever physically possible. He's clearly annoyed when he first meets yoda in empire, but he dismisses that pretty quickly in favour of ALSO becoming an over-dramatic space wizard. The combination of his two teachers being yoda and obi-wan kenobi and him being the son of anakin and padme creates the single most intense and fundamentally kind force sensitive perfectly embodying the heart of the jedi order whilst also serving egregious amounts of cunt and being bizarre to be around. He would have THRIVED as a jedi master during the high republic. he would have been every padawan's favourite and every other master's worst nightmare
Shane doesn’t realize he looks Like That because, despite being ranked as #1 Hottest Player in the MHL and getting numerous sponsorships, he thinks “it’s not like I get treated any differently in my daily life because of my looks, people aren’t throwing themselves at me left and right, so it must not be a big deal.”
But the thing is, people DO throw themselves at Shane left and right, he just doesn’t realize it.
The Voyagers are at a club and girls are eyeing him like the last steak in a tiger enclosure, but Hayden is about to bang his head on the table because Shane is in his usual Captain mode and paying zero attention to the girls. A few of the bolder ones approach him but he’s like “Hi, can I help you?” and “oh sorry, I’m on duty right now, I can’t leave my team” and Hayden gives up, he just can’t anymore. Jackie will need to step up and find this man a girl cuz Shane ain’t gonna do it on his own.
At brunch with Rose, the waiter is checking him out hardcore and smiling flirtatiously. Rose teases him about it, and Shane is like “???? He’s just doing his job? Isn’t it his job to be friendly?”
Years later, Hayden and Rose are trading war stories of Shane being oblivious to human attraction and Ilya’s just like, *shrug* you just need to be clear and direct with him, and Rose and Hayden both stare at him like “what do you mean?”
And that’s how they learn that the way you get through to Shane about your intentions is you have to jerk off at him while looking him in the eye.
The miscommunication in Heated Rivalry is because they're living in different romance types to begin with:
Shane: In some sort of Austen-esque existence where hjs ill-advised flirtation with a notorious rake goes too far. Scandalised by the intimate use of first names he flees, concerned what society and his goodly parents will think, his reputation at stake. He tries to find a proper marriage prospect but alas his heart is lost to the rake! But he finally follows his heart and invites Ilya into his home too (and accepts first name usage!)
Ilya: Smoldering in mirrors and out of windows and getting emotionally wuthered screaming Shane's name on a moor. My man is byronically going through it gothic style
Scott Hunter is trying to live his best modern rom com life and is side-eyeing the fuck out of these two. No idea what's going on there and franly doesn't want to
I desperately need more fics that focus on people's surprise that Shane Hollander, Mr. Polite Canadian with his Media Perfect Smile and Practiced Bland Answers and Good Sportsmanship and Sweetheart "Let's Go!" Cheer when he beat Scott and Ilya's time at All-Stars, to realize that the real Shane's vocabulary is literally 30% the word "fuck".
"Fuck you", "fuck off", "you fucking moron", "I fucking hate you", "this fucking guy", "go fuck yourself", "are you fucking kidding me", "I will fucking kill you, motherfucker", "fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" are all things he will say within 45 minutes of showing up to practice.
I need more fics of everyone being a little shellshocked about just how much Shane Hollander swears and meanwhile Ilya is just laughing in the background because he told people Shane swore like a sailor and nobody believed him until now.
In my defense for being late with this, the HEATED RIVALRY fandom has been putting out not just bangers, but longfic bangers that update regularly, where multiple fantastic authors are still in their feverdream state and I am but a simple reader who is trying desperately to keep up. It's so far beyond being a problem that it's wrapped back around into being the best thing pretty much ever! I still can't believe this fandom that had like 2k fics when I joined will soon have 20,000 fics, what a time to be in a fandom!
This set has a whole bunch of fics that changed my brain chemistry, like that incredible Irina fic or that fic that humanized Alexei for me and now I can't go back or the Bears sort-of-not-really kidnapping Shane because the Voyageurs suck or some absolutely incredible explorations of Ilya's self-harm tendencies or the funniest Kip portrayal I've ever read or Shane being a competitive freak vs being a horny freak for his husband: FIGHT, all of it is absolutely wrecking my id. Nobody save me, I'm exactly where I want to be.
HEATED RIVALRY - NO I WON’T BE CHILL ABOUT THE GAY HOCKEY PLAYERS SHOW:
Sinking While Swimming by CaffeinatedFlumadiddle, ilya/shane & hayden & alexei & svetlana & cast, 28.2k
“Maybe you don't have to-” “Uh-uh. No backtracking now.” Hayden pointed a finger at him. “If you tell Shane, fantastic. Would love that, quite frankly, but until you do, I want those goddamn pictures, Rozanov. Am I clear?” Ilya wanted to make some quip about Pike trying to get a different kind of picture out of him, but given the circumstances... He just nodded. “Good. My kids tragically love the fuck out of you, so figure this out.” Ilya nodded again. “Alright then.”
Mama's Boy, Mama's Boy by WhimperSoldier, ilya/shane & irina & cast, NSFW, 68.3k
Shane's first mistake was going to talk to Ilya Rozanov before their game. His second was immediately, stupidly, meeting the eyes of Rozanov’s very much dead mother hovering at his side.
(We Could Be) Something Great by Anonymous, ilya/shane & bears, nsfw, 77k wip
When Ilya Rozanov goes down on the ice, the Boston Bears are already moving to defend their captain. No one expects Shane Hollander, captain of the Montreal Voyageurs, to be the one who throws the first punch. Or: the Boston Bears figure out Ilya and Shane’s relationship first—and decide that instead of letting their captain move to fucking Ottawa, they’ll just kidnap a his boyfriend instead. Shane Hollander would make a better Bear anyway.
tongues a-wagging by Anonymous, ilya/shane & oc & cast, 29k
Barstool Sports Canada reports that Montreal Metros captain Shane Hollander has started learning Russian from new teammate and Russian rookie Sergei Dovonchezky. Ilya has some thoughts. None of them are particularly kind.
Live Through This (And You Won't Look Back) by Snaptic, ilya/shane & scott/kip & hayden & cliff & j.j. & cast, 49.9k
Shane rolls onto his side and stares at the faint outline of the window. The darkness presses in, but it doesn’t feel as suffocating as usual. Before he can talk himself out of it, he reaches for his phone. The screen lights up the room, too bright. His thumb hovers for a second, then he opens the thread. Shane: I think we should tell Scott.
let me give you innovation (got that good good) by splatticus, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 9.6k wip
Ilya can't keep out of the box, so he's not allowed to put it in anymore.
A Sacred Ottawa-Pike Peace Treaty by Mooeyeddie (mooeyeddie), ilya/shane & hayden, 9k
Forced into ridiculous ‘bonding’ playdates by their spouses, Ilya and Hayden are adamant about doing it their own way
Grady v. Rozanov by Pickle_Chips, ilya/shane & scott/kip, nsfw, 19.9k
Kip can't believe no one else can tell how outrageously gay Ilya Rozanov is, but he's not complaining, he's happy to have someone else to talk to at all the hockey functions. Or: Perfect gaydar haver Ilya Rozanov finally gets a taste of his own medicine. A series of looks into Kip and Ilya's friendship, starting after the cottage.
A Dozen Forget-Me-Nots by technicallyverycowboy, ilya/shane & hayden/jackie & hayden/shane, 6.2k
Hayden coughs up the first petals the night Shane's trade to Ottawa is announced. Hayden doesn't have hanahaki and if he does, it's purely platonic and if it's not, nobody ever has to know. Especially not Shane.
Pull it Off by smugrobotics, shane(/ilya) & oc, 1.2k
Shane hires a stylist.
shane hollander boy kisser confirmed! by chuyasexual, ilya/shane & hayden/shane & hayden/jackie & centaurs, 16.1k
In 2021, Shane Hollander reveals his relationship with former rival Ilya Rozanov to the shock of chronically online people worldwide, who’ve spent the last decade convincing the world he’s secretly in love with his teammate Hayden Pike
you're gonna go far, we'll all be here by writinginasnowglobe, ilya/shane & luca & centaurs & ocs, 3k
Ilya: everyone welcome luca haas new rookie 🫨 Ilya: i gave him all your numbers do not introduce yourself Ilya: i do not need phone buzzing i am busy
One for the Road by PastyPirate, ilya/shane & centaurs, NSFW, 28.4k
“You can’t go two weeks without fucking me anyways,” Shane heard himself saying, and instantly felt like he’d chosen the wrong dialogue option. He should’ve said something like I’d like to see all the ways you can figure it out or maybe not sharing a room has never stopped us before. Ilya let out a laugh, “Please, you beg for me all the time.” “I’m not the one who can’t go more than a day without jerking off —” shut up Hollander, SHUT UP “I can totally go two weeks without fucking.”
The chips are set to fall by icopythefax, ilya/shane & scott & cast, 17.8k wip
At the 2017 All Star Weekend, Ilya takes fate into his own hands to produce at least one out MLH player by the end of the season. Thus begins his part-time side hustle as community organizer, mastermind, and Commander-in-Chief of the Gay Hockey Army.
The Condom Cartel by CognitiveMiser, ilya/shane & ocs, 5k
Team Canada is undefeated, the Olympic Village is buzzing, and Shane Hollander just wants to focus on hockey. Unfortunately, his husband has discovered capitalism. When the Olympic Committee announces a condom shortage across the Village, Shane assumes it’s just another chaotic headline in an already surreal tournament. What he does not expect is to discover that Ilya Rozanov has been quietly selling their unused “complimentary health supplies” to stressed-out rookies and possibly half the international athletes...for five euros each.
Scotty Didn’t Know (but he sure does now) by halfbaked_ziti, ilya(/shane) & scott, 1.8k
“You have problem, you bring it to me,” Rozanov growled. “Not him. Me. I am not so easy of a target, not like boring Canadians. And you keep that shit off the ice. Chirping, yes, fine. Not that. Never that. You are older than the game of hockey, should understand difference by now.” Canadians? “Wait,” Scott said slowly. “Is this about what I said to Hollander the other day?”
bad bluetooth by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & hayden & j.j., 1.8k
“You have a message from: Lily.” The automated voice read out. Shane almost swerved into the other lane trying to press the mute button on the dashboard.
Our Cup Runneth Over by Ottawacentaursstan, ilya/shane & centaurs, 6.9k
The rise and fall of a Cool Party Guy (aka the Centaurs win the Stanley Cup and Shane gets uncharacteristically drunk to celebrate)
Wrap It Up by alchemystique, ilya/shane & scott & wyatt & cast, 3.1k
The Olympic Village runs out of condoms on day three. Luckily for Olympians, Shane Hollander took note of exactly how often this has happened previously.
I can see it, your face is glowin' by joldiego, shane(/ilya) & hayden(/jackie), 4k
Shane is stooped over to strap on his shin guards when his phone buzzes once in Hayden’s hand. He doesn’t mean to tap the notification. And oh god, does he wish he could un-tap the fucking notification. Because why the fuck has Lily, Shane’s mysterious Boston hook-up of several years (no matter how fervently he denies it), sent him a picture of a fucking sonogram. Black and white, blurry, and undeniably baby-shaped.
MORE RECS UNDER THE CUT because I have some fucking manners. Sometimes.
No Angry Kitten by AkirasStories, ilya/shane, 2.1k
ilya sends shane yet another picture of an angry kitten. (a texting & social media fic)
oh my god you should see your faces by writinginasnowglobe, ilya/shane & hayden & scott & centaurs, 13.2k wip
A few months after the FanMail incident, Yuna Hollander decides to do what she does best. With the added benefit of having another son to lovingly manage, of course. The internet, unsurprisingly, loses its shit. Or, Shane and Ilya go on the press run to end all press runs, courtesy of Yuna Hollander.
Gotta catch 'em all. by mnamosyna, ilya(/shane) & cliff & oc, 1.8k
CLIFF: I think my rookie may be one of yours. ILYA: Russian? CLIFF: No, dumbass. Gay. Marlow accidently helps Ilya add to his collection of hockey queers.
Statement for Immediate Release by katie_606, ilya/shane & hayden & farah & yuna & harris, ~1k
Shane feels it necessary to release a subsequent statement following too many people questioning his on ice integrity against Ilya. But he does it on Instagram where the comments go a little wild, thanks mostly to Ilya.
shane hollander's guide to bottom prep by bisexualbuckley, ilya/shane, NSFW, 13k
Ilya shrugs and runs his hand from Shane’s waist down to his ass and back up. “But you are so good at it. What is English saying? Having it with science?” “Having it down to a science.”
I saw your face and you blew my mind by juniperjensen, ilya/shane, 1.8k
It's that one Reddit post where the guy wakes up from surgery and doesn't remember his wife. But make it Hollanov. That's it.
The Heat by dntat, ilya/shane, NSFW, omegaverse, 6.2k
The flight home seemed to take forever. So did the drive, even as he broke every speed limit. His hand was shaking when he tried to get the key in the door. Once, twice, he missed. Then it was flung open. Shane was standing there. He was dressed only in the smallest pair of briefs, the black fabric stretched over the curve of his muscular thighs and ass. A fine sheen of sweat covered his skin and his chest was heaving with shallow, panting breaths. His eyes were hazy and dark. He smelled like sweat and sweetness and Shane. Like everything Ilya had ever wanted since he was just a boy of seventeen. Or: Shane's suppressants are failing.
English Lessons with Ilya by taliiaa, ilya/shane & luca, 1.1k
Luca: if we are holding our horses that means we want to go outside? Luca: take a break and go see animals? Ilya: yes Ilya: exactly
Lily & Jane Take Over Twitter by winter1477, ilya/shane & centaurs, nsfw, 4.6k
The hockey twitter world explodes when a new Shane fan account under the name "Lily" pops up. And all she tweets about is how bad she wants to fuck Shane Hollander.
MINE MINE MINE by Anonymous, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 3.6k
“So,” Yuna says, as she polishes off her third glass of cabernet. “When are you boys going to get started on kids?” Shane chokes on his tiramisu. - Or: Maybe Shane doesn’t want kids.
20 Questions & Mutual Destruction in Elevator 2T by fringe_problems, ilya(/shane) & scott(/kip), 3.6k
Ilya takes out his phone and swipes to Jane and types quickly, eyes on Hunter: I am trapped in elevator. With Scott Hunter. I am coming soon as I can. Shane responds immediately: Please don’t kill Scott Hunter
Shane Hollander, Man Who Would Eat Hockey If He Could by elumish, ilya/shane & scott & centaurs, 2k
[Scott Hunter]: thanks [Shane]: I meant it. [Scott Hunter]: I know [Shane]: Please don’t have sex in the locker room. [Scott Hunter]: lol (or: four moments throughout the years, as seen through the eyes of the camera)
Vibrate by NotEvenCloseToStraight, ilya/shane, NSFW, 6.6k
One day, Shane will learn not to take the “you are scared.” bait from Ilya. Today is not that day.
Snowed In by Evilharlowe, ilya/shane, 4.5k
Shane and Ilya sneak away to a cottage for a rare weekend together. Then the snow starts falling, and it doesn't stop.
Scott Hunter Night by that1friendguy, ilya(/shane) & scott(/kip), 1.9k
Ilya Rozanov was perhaps the last person Scott expected to show up at his impromptu Hunter Night. After post season awards. In a gay bar. Which could mean nothing.
Did he just…? by anarchyat4am, ilya(/shane) & scott(/kip), 1.2k
Rozanov flinches when a loud laugh breaks the white noise from the party inside, and Scott realises that Rozanov’s been doing the same thing he has all these years: cataloguing who is or isn’t safe, watching, noticing, waiting.
meat ugly by thathastu, ilya/shane, 1.7k
When Ilya agreed to let Shane adopt a cat to join their family, he did not expect Shane to fall in love with a hairless cat named Pork, the fattest, meanest, and ugliest creature that the shelter had to offer. And he certainly didn't expect for Pork to be his sworn nemesis.
Peeled Rotisserie Chicken by Nimming, ilya/shane, nsfw, 1.4k
Moving back to the cottage meant relaxing and spending every second with his husband. Instead, he's having to fight for attention. Insert a two step plan for Ilya to steal back his husband's affection.
finsta by Marmeladeskies, ilya/shane & centaurs, nsfw, 1.7k
LaPointe tries to catch him, but Holmberg leaps from his chair, holding his phone high and reading the post out loud so everyone can hear. “-following her from his main professional account. The transgender creator specializes in-” All heads whip around. Shane quickly grabs the laptop because Ilya is already on his feet, reaching for LaPointe who, Shane thinks, is seconds away from punching Holmberg to stop him from reading more.
Hacked by Masterless, ilya/shane & david/yuna, 2.1k
Heated Rivalry AU where the relationship reveal happens because David Hollander's phone gets hacked and approximately 5,000 pictures and videos of Shane and Ilya being cute (both together and individually) get dumped onto the internet.
10,000 Condoms for Russia's Greatest Love Machine by Lexi_Leckstar, ilya/shane & oc, nsfw, 2.2k
Or: At the 2026 Winter Olympics, Ilya doesn't get paired to room with Shane because of the Coach's stupid 'no-sex rule'
like the back of my hand by xianvar, ilya/shane & hayden, 1.3k
Hayden is the person who knows Shane best. Even if he sometimes feels like he doesn’t know him at all. Surely, that fear won’t be proven right after Shane’s concussion… right?
the tape measure incident by 17darwinism, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.3k
Harris does the tape measure TikTok trend on the Centaurs, and he learns more than he ever wanted to know. But at least the internet seems to love it.
Let’s stay professional by jumpsuit_en (jumpsuit), ilya/shane & centaurs, 2.8k
Calling your own spouse a coward in public takes nerve. Goading a three-time Stanley Cup champion takes another kind. Ilya Rozanov is the only player capable of unlocking both achievements in one breath. Or: Shane’s first day on the Ottawa Centaurs, and Ilya supporting him in his unique way.
Washed Up, Irrelevant by lavery, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.3k
“The third player.” Shane clarified, “In the big three of active players? I mean it’s me and Ilya, right?” Amelia nodded mutely whilst Luca Haas, who had been asked the question, stared at Shane with wide eyes. “So, who’s the third?” Shane’s face took on a contemplative look. “Scott Hunter?” Amelia said with confusion. “Hunter?” Shane looked surprised. “Why?” Across the room Roz let out a bark of laughter.
the pda police by goldengalaxies, ilya/shane & centaurs, 1.6k
Roz We are good looking and married and in love, is normal to be sexually active Hazy I’m sorry but no. There’s sexually active and there’s YOU TWO Shane @Hazy I’m confused. We only have sex everyday? Shane That’s not that much, is it? Dykstra I can’t tell if you’re joking or not???? Shane How often is normal? Roz Shut up Roz Everyone is banned from speaking Roz No more talking
omg this is f-ing revolutionary! 🤯 i always hated the idea of having to memorize the semitones in music theory to know any scale without the circle of fifths in front of me...so i never did. 😅 but this is way more intuitive!
"The flame cast strange shadows on his face and made the Dark Mark dance on his pale skin. It had been ten years since he’d last seen Draco Malfoy."
It's hard to believe that I started working on the typeset for this bind in October of last year. Nearly eleven months later, I have finally managed to bring my vision to life.
This bind has a foiled cover and spine, hand sewn silk endbands, and edges that have been painted and gauffered. It also includes my first attempt at a hollow.
You can find more pictures and information about my process under the cut.
***this fic is an unfinished WIP on Ao3***
For the cover and spine, I recreated Albert Angus Turbayne's design for the Macmillan Peacock Series (1896).
Macmillan reused this cover for multiple titles over the course of several years. From what I can tell, it was initially created for the works of Thomas Love Peacock. If you look at the left corner by the edge of the peacock's tail feather, you can see Turbayne's unique signature.
Choosing this cover locked me into an 1890s Art Nouveau theme for the typeset, and I spent a considerable amount of time tracking down potential chapter headers that harmonized visually.
Peacocks are a distinctive motif in this fic, and I tried to choose images that matched the individual tones of each act. I represented Harry's presence with warm browns, yellows, and oranges, and Edwin Selwyn's with imposing blues and blacks.
A full list of the artists used in my typeset can be found at the bottom of this post.
Predictably, everything that could go wrong with this bind did go wrong. I botched the rounding and backing on my first textblock, and had to reprint it. It also took me a long time to find endpapers that could play nicely with the yellows, blues, and browns. Luckily, Jemma Lewis had exactly what I needed!
I had never sanded or painted the edges of a book before, so I spent several weeks practicing on scrap textblocks while I waited for my brass tool to arrive. None of this would have been possible without the incredible tutorials made by @copticcowgirl and @duran-binding. Their guidance (along with @pleasantboatpress!) helped me figure out a method that worked for me. Duran Binding even sent me some pages about gauffering from a book she had!
Unfortunately, I lost my goddamn mind when I started trying to figure out the gauffering.
There aren't any comprehensive gauffering tutorials online, and the information about it is scant. I had to piece together my method from stray book pages, stalked instagram comments, and weeks upon weeks of trial and error. Heating the tool correctly was far more difficult than I anticipated, and I didn't have a proper finishing stove, so I just stuck it in the flame of my gas stove (thanks to @pleasantboatpress for the heating advice!). Even more difficult was figuring out the correct amount of pressure to put down without burning my foil or edges. Pictured above is the cardstock grid I made to ensure my lines were even.
I also couldn't fit my textblock in my guillotine, so it took me roughly 5 hours of sanding per edge to get the mirror finish I needed. I didn't want to give myself carpal tunnel, so I limited myself to 1-2 hours of sanding per day. Each edge took me a full week to complete. In total, my edge decoration journey took me about three months.
So please, LOOK AT THEM! LOOK! MY BLOOD, SWEAT, AND TEARS!
DOES MY AGONY PLEASE YOU?
I was also too chickenshit to try gauffering on my good textblock without testing, so I also finished two edges on my reject. I also tested my endbands on it. I will probably finish it when I'm feeling less raw.
Unfortunately, gauffering was only the beginning of my suffering. The file for the cover was a challenge to create and adapt. I knew that it was a bit of a pipe dream, and I knew that it would be hard on my machine. I usually do a series of cardstock tests while refining my files before I commit to bookcloth. It proved to be too much for my Cameo 4, and it started gouging my foil and paper after completing a few runs of the cover.
After two weeks of troubleshooting and emailing support, I accepted that my Cameo 4 was dead. Queue a month of depression, and some of the greatest frustration I've ever experienced with a project. I eventually sucked it up and bought a Cameo 5, and had to do extensive testing to figure out the best settings for their native heat pen system.
These are the vast majority of my cover tests (most of them are double sided). Foiling the cover took 12.5 nail biting hours, but my Cameo 5 finally pulled through! Hooray! I love you Cameo 5! Please don't die on me! There was one odd area that refused to foil, so I cracked open my old WRMK pen and filled it in by hand. Pro tip: separate every design element in as many layers as possible so you can double up on foil and redo problem areas easily.
After this, everything began to move along quite quickly.
@copticcowgirl convinced me to put a hollow on my book, and sent me some absolutely incredible notes and videos to help me along! She was also incredibly gracious when I barged into her DMs wailing about millimeter and half millimeter increments, and gently guided me towards the finish line. So much of this bind would not have been possible without her!
Mummifying the hollow was my favorite part, and I really do believe that it helps my book open beautifully. After that, it was a small matter of casing in, and I was free from my seemingly eternal torment!
I would also like to extend my thanks to @tsurashi-bindery, who has been by my side every step of the way. She is the world's best tie breaker, and she patted me on the back every time I told her that I was really, truly, totally going to quit binding for real this time. Her aesthetic sense is fantastic, and she spent hours helping me pick, edit, and arrange my photos. Thank you for being my cheerleader. <3
I also genuinely appreciate everyone that reached out to me on Insta and Discord while I was posting WIPs- your encouragement truly kept me going!
I will likely be posting a gauffering video at some point when I have the time. I don't currently have any plans to share the typeset unless the fic is completed, but you're welcome to DM me.
If you've read this far you're a superstar! This fic is incredibly close to my heart, and I'm relieved that I was able to properly express how I feel about it through this bind. Here's hoping my next project is a bit shorter!
Art credits:
Cover: Macmillan Peacock Series, Albert Angus Turbayne (1896)
Title: Untitled book plate, Alfred Petrasch (1857-1910)
Act I title: Macmillan’s Illustrated Standard Novels, Albert Turbayne (1896)
Act I chapter: Cigales et lis, paons et cytise, bordures, M. P. Verneuil (1897)
Act II title: Charles Scribner’s Sons the Modern Poster, Will H. Bradley (1895)
Act II chapter: Kunst en Samenleving, G.W. Dijsselhof (1893)
Act III title: Bradley, His Book, Will H. Bradley (1896)
Act III chapter: Poissons et algues, coq, écoinçon; paons et vigne; lièvres, chiens et ronces, bordure, M. P. Verneuil (1897)
Dinkus: Fonderie Typographique Française: Caractères et vignettes bois (1922)
Act ender: Combinaisons ornementales, M. P. Verneuil (1901)
The Sailor Moon 90s anime villain formula: an ultimate evil directs a leader villains to direct a rotating cast of subordinate villains to use monsters of the week to seek the MacGuffin.
Sailor Moon
Ultimate Evil: Queen Metalia.
Lead Villain: Queen Beryl.
Subordinate Villains: The Four Heavenly Kings (Jadeite, Nephrite, Zoisite, Kunzite).
Monsters of the Week: Youma.
The MacGuffin: Energy, especially that of the Silver Crystal.
Sailor Moon R
Ultimate Evil: Wiseman / Death Phantom.
Lead Villain: The Black Moon Clan (Rubeus, Esmeraude, Safir, Prince Demande).
Subordinate Villains: The Spectre Sisters (Koan, Berthier, Calaveras, Petz).
Monsters of the Week: Droids.
The MacGuffin: Key locations in Tokyo for either Crystal Points or Dark Gates.
Sailor Moon S
Ultimate Evil: Mistress 9 / Pharaoh 90.
Lead Villain: Professor Tomoe.
Subordinate Villains: Kaolinite, Witches 5 (Eudial, Mimete, Tellu, Viluy, Cyprine/Ptilol).
Monsters of the Week: Daimons.
The MacGuffin: Pure Heart Crystals, especially ones that can summon the Holy Grail.
Sailor Moon SuperS
Ultimate Evil: Queen Nehelenia.
Lead Villain: Zirconia.
Subordinate Villains: The Amazon Trio (Tiger's Eye, Hawk's Eye, Fish Eye), The Amazoness Quartet (Ves Ves, Cele Cele, Palla Palla, Jun Jun).
Monsters of the Week: Lemures.
The MacGuffin: Dream Mirrors, specifically the Golden Dream Mirror containing Pegasus.
Sailor Moon Stars
Ultimate Evil: Chaos.
Lead Villain: Sailor Galaxia.
Subordinate Villains: The Sailor Animamates (Sailor Iron Mouse, Sailor Aluminum Seiren, Sailor Lead Crow, Sailor Tin Nynako).
Monsters of the Week: Sailor Phages.
The MacGuffin: Star Seeds, particularly ones belonging to Sailor Guardians.
Ultimate Evils: Death Phantom > Queen Nehelenia > Queen Metalia > Pharaoh 90 & Mistress 9 > Chaos (Chaos is boring no matter what version, more of a plot device because Naoko needed a Final Boss).
Lead Villains: Queen Beryl > Professor Tomoe > Prince Dimande & His Family > Sailor Galaxia > Madame Zirconia. (I love Zirconia, but she was objectively the worst at what she did.)
Subordinate Villains: The Four Heavenly Kings > The Amazoness Quartet > The Amazon Trio = The Spectre Sisters > Kaolinite and Witches 5 > The Sailor Amimamates (poor Sailor Amimamates!)
Monsters of the Week: Lemures > Youma > Droids > Daimons > Sailor Phages (for reals, WTF were the Phages?)
The MacGuffins: Energy and Crystals > Pure Heart Crystals > Crystal Points and Dark Gates > Dream Mirrors = Star Seeds (both poor attempts to replicate the Pure Heart Crystals, and in the former's case they did the unforgivably dumb thing of having us all know the main character to whom the Dream Mirror concealing Pegasus belonged, taking the teeth out of everything the villains did.)
(Franchise-wise, it's mostly the same except the Black Moon Clan is tied with Queen Beryl, and the Subordinate Villains would go The Four Heavenly Kings + Endimyon > The Amazoness Quartet > The Spectre Sisters + Boule Brothers > Kaolinite and Witches 5 > The Amazon Trio + the Knife-Throwing Twins > The Sailor Aminmamates + the twins set. The Stars villains weren't ever bad, but they were way too clearly designed for the "final enemy" function and so there's not much else you can do with them. The 90's anime failed them so bad because it didn't take advantage and make them live up to that.)
what's most harrowing about the alex rider series is that the adults aren't useless, they intentionally endanger a teenager for fun and profit. like, kids series often have adults being useless or incompetent so that kids reading the books can feel empowered, but alex rider does something different and, if you ask me, more interesting: the adults manipulate alex on purpose. the only adults who would help alex are generally either unable to help him or literally out to kill him and everyone around him. alex has very few friends, his age or otherwise, because the adults in his life keep him isolated and helpless. his parents are dead. his uncle is dead. he is alone. and frankly, that's a relatable experience for a lot of kids.
The thing about Ian Rider is that he could go either way. Did Ian groom Alex Rider into a dangerous life of spying for MI6 from a young age, or was he encouraging Alex's natural talents and trying to give him the skills to survive in a world where very dangerous people were always going to have a grudge against him simply for who his father was? Who knows! Either is entirely plausible!!! MI6 executed an immediate and terrifying level of manipulation and coercion upon Ian's death to get Alex to put his life on the line for them. Is this something Ian could have expected? Did he want it? Was it planned with his input? Did he actually leave Alex's custody to MI6, or was that a lie? Who on earth has the answers now besides Alan Blunt? And we know we can't trust a word he says.
Alex is very motivated in the series by information on his parents, something both MI6 and Scorpia use against him. Did Ian set him up for this by withholding that information in his childhood, or was he struggling with his own grief over his brother and trying to keep Alex safe by staying quiet, since so much of John's story was classified? Who don't know. We can't know.
Ian is a ghost over the entire series. Helen and John Rider are too, each in different ways, but Ian is interesting in that you think you have more of him than you really do. Alex does not seek information on his uncle. Is it because he thinks he knows everything already? Or because he can't face the admission that he doesn't?
We don't even know Ian's real relationship with MI6. Did they blackmail him like they did Alex? Or was that treatment only for Alex, since hiring him is so shady to begin with? Did Ian Rider ever sit in a room with Alan Blunt and give a report on his nephew? Or is he spinning in his grave over everything that his employers did to his nephew once he was no longer there to stand in the way? We don't know! We can't! I'm going insane!!
The Life of a Showgirl is a satirical musical and the entire album is one big Rick Roll. She warned us of this in many ways and a lot of people seemed to have missed the clues so I'm here to break it down!
Starting off strong, she said, and I quote, "A showgirl knows what the crowd wants, and the crowd is your king"
She then gave us an entire video showing that she is behind the camera intentionally directing a shitshow. A version of herself that is so bad at performing she's even stumbling trying to pose for a photoshoot. Taylor the person then makes fun of Showgirl brand Taylor and heckles her by saving "it's giving no girl, not showgirl". Essentially breaking the fourth wall and clueing us in that she knows the album is bad. But that IS the concept behind the album. It is not suppose to be good, it is suppose to be as of Poet Taylor left the scene, and only Showgirl Taylor is in full control. And she made sure we knew of this concept because at the start of this album rollout Taylor liked a post confirming that in the Anti-Hero MV the 2 Taylors are Poet Taylor and Showgirl Taylor and that usually for her albums the 2 Taylors work together. This is symbolic of her songs being written mainly by Taylor the person and then brand Taylor sprinking in something to fit the public narrative such as how Dress is clearly about a woman, but she sprinkled in the buzzcut line as the "bait and switch" balance confessed in Willow. HOWEVER, for this album we were made aware that original recipe would be abandoned and brand Taylor would SOLELY be in charge of this album, which as we've seen Taylor depict multiple times, brand Taylor aka Showgirl Taylor is nothing on her own without Taylor the person, the mastermind pulling the strings.
Hence why just about everything on this album feels so hallow, lacking genuine emotion or storytelling, missing crucial details, no cohesion, and above all the lyrics are extremely forced to be cringy and terrible writing compared to what she's known to deliver.
This is extremely obvious when you look at the juxtaposition between the lyrics on the album, and the Poems released alongside it. Her caption itself on her post about the album was far more poetic and better writing than anything on the album, going to show she didn't lose her spark or forget how to write good, everything is apart of the role she's playing, and she's on the sidelines directing it.
This was her way of saying this album is NOT for "us" and she would by no means be making any art that SHE as Taylor the person would want to put out. The Showgirl album is handmade specifically for the swifties that only love her when she makes her life about a man, and that's why she goes as far as to take back Lavender Haze, because while Taylor the person agrees with it Showgirl Taylor never would. In fact, the tracks themselves are very obviously based off of narratives that have gone around on both Stan Twitter and within Travis obsessed spaces.
That is why the album ends with rhetoric that implies the entire album was a Performance. Track by track she's literally just playing into fan believed narratives or referencing things that were viral during the time of the Eras Tour. It is crowd focused. The crowd is her king, this is what they want, she hopes they get what they want, they deserve what they want, and this is her biggest performance art piece yet. So let's now look into some of the tracks so we can see what within them indicates that she is Trolling.
Beginning with Wood, I immediately knew what meme she was playing off of and now that interpretation is currently going around on the internet. There was a viral meme in 2021 between stan wars that was about comparing how Taylor describes "doing it" so poetically while other artists don't, specifically the resurfaced one was comparing But Daddy I Love Him to Ariana Grande's "yes and?" And here is the meme below for context:
Now the joking lyrics clearly mock that Taylor would describe it as "Wood" in her "Redwood Forest" and then Taylor proceeded to release a song exactly about that called Wood including the lyric "Redwood Tree". Now in what world would that be romantic for her to write this song off the back of a joke? It wouldn't, it's purely birthed from satire. And the extra layer that confirms nothing about the song "Wood" is serious is the fact that Max Martin produced it but he also produced on Eternal Sunshine.....
Next we have "Actually Romantic" which is Taylor intentionally playing into the fan narrative throughout Eras that Charli XCX and her have some kind of crazy beef. I promise you they don't, there's a lot of evidence they are in association with each other, and to think that out of just 12 tracks she wanted to write about THAT reflects a deep disconnect, but the fans aren't questioning it because as the whole point of this album is this is what THEY want to hear. The crowd is her king, and they're getting what they want.
Next we have Father Figure and there is actually 2 things for this one. For starters the obvious, during Eras it was a huge viral trend to make thrist trap edits of Taylor to George Michael's Father Figure, so again she is directly taking from what the fans want. In addition, fans are claiming that she wrote it about Olivia Rodrigo because some of the lyrics talk about the subject reminding her of a younger version of herself, needing to rid of her to be successful in their own career etc, and these are the kind of points that have been viral in discussion of swiftie spaces in regard to Taylor and Olivia allegedly having beef. She is feeding right into everything they love to talk about as IF it's facts, and within this album she's handing them a sense of false validation. The funniest part about this is that it's a bit of bait and switch because she addresses the subject as a guy and yet still has fans saying she must be talking about Olivia. Going to show they don't actually believe when Taylor uses "he/him" or says "man" that that actually means the real muse or subject is a guy despite the fact they love to use that as an argument. It also is important to mention that George Michael was gay, and closeted, his song Father Figure is about that, and she interpolated it into her own. But of course that went over "their" heads and all they took from it was the narrative they wanted, hence the point. Ignoring lyrics like "this love is pure profit" which implies a fake relationship, "step into my office" because it's contractual, etc.
The Fate of Ophelia, Honey, and Wish List straight up play into the fan narrative that Travis saved her and that a man defined her happiness and it really lyrically pushes on that point which is arguably one of the most common narratives of how Tayvis stans kept talking about her, especially the desire for her to have kids with him, the fantasies of what their like physically, etc. Like the lyric about having the whole block looking like him when that would imply.... no chance anyone genuinely thinks she's serious but that's what the crowd wants, and they get what they want.
Eldest Daughter literally has the lyrics "trolling and memes" before talking about people being cutthroat in the comments and sending hate and this was her way of saying she knows most real fans are going to hate the album but every track is really just trolling and memes. She even says "when you found me I said I was busy, that was a lie" just to say in an interview last night when asked if her closest friends would come to her wedding with Travis that she doesn't know because "they are busy" implying that's a lie. The fan narrative this song plays into is the infantilization of Travis which is that Travis was just a sad lost puppy troubled bad boy that Taylor came and fixed saving him from Kayla Nicole. Because the song also implies shade at her and hear me when I say, that's something that crowd REALLY wanted with the hate they've sent her way.
The Life of a Showgirl wraps it up by revealing anything that came prior was a performance, she was on a stage, sets of a play, hitting her marks as the showgirl. Taylor and Sabrina thank the crowd they designed the performance based on and say their goodbyes before exiting the stage. It's most repeated lyric keeps thanking a more experienced showgirl for the Bouquet which is her way of contradicting Wood where she said "I dont need a Bouquet". Because again, it was satire. Catching a Bouquet is also about luck and that whole song calls back to the Lucky One, you know the one where she's stuck as the Showgirl in Hollywood where your lovers don't even know you. Cuz the relationships aren't real, yeah that one.
In conclusion, the purpose of this showgirl character has been the same thing she's been teasing for years but more specifically since Midnights. She's burning down the brand, which means no more characters, no more Eras. The Eras Tour wasn't a goodbye to music, it was a farewell to the concept of Eras themselves and redefining herself every album to something brand suitable. We know this because in that same ad where she's directing Showgirl Taylor, the showgirl quite literally kicks a bucket, which is an expression for dying. She said in hits different "this is why you shouldnt off the main guy" because the brand keeps her protected but she's outgrown it. In the aftermath we will only get albums solely as Taylor the person, something we have never truly gotten before, hence the "This is not Taylor's Version" shirts. Same way how we had never truly gotten a solely Brand Taylor album till now. The 2 Taylor's are parting ways, with 1 final goodbye from the Showgirl, and when all is said and done, and the slow cracking that has been going on finally shatters, the curtain will be pulled and Taylor TM will cease to exist. (Captured by the fact that she called the cracking Hatching like an egg, and in Anti Hero inside the egg was the same purple glitter that was cracking through her pfp and we all know the purple glitter represented her inner truth seaping on the outside)
And the reason she posted regular orange hearts instead of the firey ones after the album was out is because Karma, the album her statements had actually been about like "the record she's been wanting to put out for such a long time" and the album the orange door and everything conceptually is actually for, is still on it's way. She said the poems have hidden messages that are very important but all they do is count One Two Three Four Five. Karma was originally the Sixth album. This is the final act. It's all apart of the story.
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