The Creature's Collection

a trail of reblogs is all that's left of my path through the internet if you are looking for consistency, look somewhere else

[singetailsaremyfav]

⚠️Breaking News⚠️

Local muttonhead steals disabled man’s leg and is now on the run!!!!

[shockjawtrainer]

"Astrid is the strongest of the group, she obviously has-"

ASTRID was blinded by looking in the General Direction of a lightening strike which landed Too Close To Her Face multiple feet away. SNOTLOUT JORGENSON, on the other hand, who has been struck by lightning on screen 12 times-

[alexaloraetheris]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[alexaloraetheris]

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

[alexaloraetheris]

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

[alexaloraetheris]

Please stop reblogging this, if it ends up on Tiktok some teenybopper is gonna call me bad ace representation.

[kosmogrl]

[whateverexplodesyourboat]

yay I did another one (first one)

[mx-dragon-faye]

[commonblackbirdxx]

Ever think how Berkian's or the Dragon riders would appear insane to the other people.

Maybe the Barbaric Archipelago host an annual Thing and Viggo wanting an intel about the dragon riders (who are clearly from the Archipelago) managed to secure an invite via some other tribe.

He's there rubbing shoulders with Chiefs and heirs up when the Berk representative showed up. He doesn't know the Dragon Riders are from Berk yet.

He learned that:

Berk's Chief, Stoick the Vast is a 6'9ft giant weighing 400 pounds. A renown dragon killer and engaged dragons in hand to hand combat, no weapons or dragon root needed.

Their Viking adult initiation means the top student will fight a monstrous nightmare in a cage fight. (isn't that an execution method in other tribes? What do you mean initiation?)

The Chief's son is last year's winner, he didn't defeat the monstrous nightmare because he decided to go for something bigger. (What does that mean?)

Spitelout, one of Berk Chief's retinue bragged about his son acquiring the most Screaming Death scales out of his peers. And showed scales as evidence (Viggo's execution method literally involves pushing people into whispering death hole. What do you mean someone actually tunneled down there to steal some scales?)

Gobber mentioning that Spitelout's son use to be his apprentice in weapons testing. His apprentice (Snotlout) used to test catapults by launching himself to the sky to see if it works. (Which again sounds like an execution method.)

Gobber also complain about two troublemakers (Ruff and Tuff) who dedicated themselves to serving Loki. Which involves putting a cart of sharp objects on the apprentice's landing spot. (Which still sounds like a method of execution to him.)

There's also Astrid (that name sounds familiar) who was a strict drill sergeant who made everyone do push up until their hands fall off every time they mess up. (Not too bad compared to other things Viggo had heard.)

Everything in Berk is an execution method. (Fishlegs is the model citizen unless hypnotised.)

[raineyraven]

"average viking gets struck by lightning once" factoid actually just statistical error. average viking is never struck by lightning. Snotlout Jorgenson, who is hated by thor and has been struck by lightning fifteen times, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

[knight-says-oioioi]

Hookfang being so careful with everyone other than Snotlout is so important. He’s a beast of a dragon, he literally goes into fights blazing without a plan. He respects strength first.

Most humans are delicate little things that he has to handle with the kiddy gloves on. He’s cautious with the twins, gentle with Hiccup, respectful with Astrid, careful with Fishlegs.

Snotlout however is his viking and he’s a good one. Made of tougher stuff or whatever. He can handle a little roughhousing. He can handle Hookfang catching fire every once in a while, he can handle being scooped and thrown and shaken, he can handle a chomp or two. More than “handle” honestly, he likes it, because he’s the same genre of feral-for-action.

We know Snotlout does, but the fact Hookfang also sees them as equals (despite all their fighting) is very dear to me

[depsidase]

[jen-iii]

The Estate's Secret The Earth's Champion

[mandareeboo]

Been thinking about the war kids again. More fanfics should consider the frankly hilarious concept that Toph has no clue where Aang is 60% of the time. Her sense stops when he leaves the earth so she's relying entirely on things like his chatterbox personality and the whooshing of wind to guestimate. Aang is like the only person in Toph's entire life who has a good chance of jumpscaring her without meaning to.

[mandareeboo]

Aang is also the only person who wields sight sense too- he has the means and the inside knowledge to successfully jumpscare Toph BeiFong.

This is obviously not a good idea but this is Aang, lover of silly pranks, he would absolutely do it once just to prove it was possible. I also imagine that instead of earthbending immediately Toph's gut reaction to someone that close without warning is to sock them in the jaw with her actual fist.

.

Katara, chilling some water for cold compresses: so what'd we learn today?

Aang, missing two teeth: to duck

Toph, zero injuries other than her pride: that the Avatar needs to die

[sodor-memetime]

[thememedaddy]

[nat-20s]

gotta be honest I think a REAL juicy dynamic is when someone has a True Love and a Soulmate and they are two different people

[nat-20s]

see this person is the love of my life I would follow them anywhere every day is brighter for having them in it. and THIS bastard shares a soul with me we'll find each other in every universe and understand each other in ways no other living being could. neither of us are particularly thrilled about this

[madnessofmen]

game where you play as a medieval knight but it's peacetime so it's mostly about estate administration and property law

[what-even-is-thiss]

Also your lord trying to convince you to not pillage your own countryside

[thememedaddy]