I’m telling this story again b/c fuck it but anyways I was playing D&D and one of my friends went “brown bear brown bear what do you see” and on cue three of us turn to him and like, death metal screech “ALLLL”.
The dude goes completely pale faced. I saw true horror in his eyes.
He didn’t know the joke.
So apparently dude just had three of his best friends demonically screech at him for no goddamn reason.
I do not think I will ever cause that level of sheer terror and confusion ever again in my life.
The total warhammer 3 trailer dropped, and I felt compelled to do a new warhammer women post.
This time let's talk about Neferata, the first vampire. Mortarch of blood. Owner of the biggest hat in warhammer history.
Neferata was born the princess of the city-state of Lahmia, in the ancient kingdom of Nehekara. The oldest human civilization on the planet, and the eventual birthplace of the Tomb Kings.
Neferata was born long before the Tomb Kings rose from their graves. But the culture she was raised was already well on its way to becoming them. All nobility in Nehekara were priest-kings and queens. Equal parts ruler and spiritual leader. All of them obsessed with death and immortality. Mortuary cults were the dominant religion, and all aspects of noble life were spent delving deep into ancient magic and creating new spells to let the ruling class live forever.
But even then, those who sought immortality and mastery of death were not united. In Neferata's youth, her father fought against the rise of the villainous and would-be god of death, Nagash. Nagash lost his wars, and the priest-kings of Nehekara's cities returned to their routine.
But the winners took spoils. In Neferata's case, her brother-husband returned from battle with ancient tomes of Nagash's dark magic. And more importantly, he had returned with a prisoner. Arkhan the Black. Chief servant of Nagash, the eventual Liche King, and the one who would eventually bring Nagash back to the world and herald the end of days.
Neferata's husband wanted to wrench the secrets of Nagash's most powerful spells away from Arkhan. But he needed help. Neferata, as priestess-queen, had the training necessary to understand the arcane writing in the Books of Nagash, and worked with the imprisoned Arkhan to unlock everything.
Unfortunately for the rest of the world, the longer Neferata spent with Arkhan, the less she sympathized with her husband's cause. And the more she was swayed by Arkhan, and the dark whispers of Nagash's lingering magic.
Neferata had ruled Lahmia by herself while her father and brother fought the wars that brought Nagash down. And she resented being pushed back into such a lowly role, after experiencing true power for such a long time.
Neferata worked with Arkhan to create an elixir of life, a potion of immortality that Nagash himself had perfected. Although neither of them were nearly on the same level of necromantic perfection as Nagash, and the elixir did not work as perfectly as they hoped. When Neferata drank it, she noticed no immediate effect.
But not for long. Neferata spent a long period of time simmering with her anger toward her husband on the throne, and secretly conspired to take it from him. She worked for years to empower herself politically and magically. Undermining her brother-husband, and eventually rendering him to nothing more than a puppet figurehead, while she held the true power behind the scenes. And the more blood Neferata drank, the more her power and influence grew.
This did not last forever, though. Even from his diminished position, Neferata's husband, the priest-king, still had considerable sway. And he was not an idiot who simply let his power be taken from him. He conspired to have his sister-wife killed. She was secretly poisoned with deadly sphinx venom, and put into a deathly coma.
But that was not the end. The combination of the flawed elixir of life and her long-time alliance with Arkhan brought Neferata back from the clutch of death. But she was not the same priest-queen she was before. Neferata's skin remained as pale as a corpse, and her need for blood, which had been a passing curiosity before, became all consuming. Neferata had risen from her near-death as the first vampire.
Neferata ruled Lahmia for centuries after. Unlike everyone before her in Nehekara, she had attained true immortality. She surrounded herself with acolytes and worshipers, many of whom she turned into the first generation of sired vampires. The cult of blood worship she formed stood in stark contrast to the mortuary cult of her birth culture, and conflict was inevitable with the rest of humanity.
Neferata has never been killed, even if she has lost her city, her army of worshipers (many of whom went off to form their own vampiric kingdoms. Such as the man who would eventually be known as Vlad von Carstein) and all of her power. By the time of the world's end, Neferata had retreated to a small lair deep in shrouded mountains. There she kept a small group of devotees and slaves. Some of whom she deliberately sent into the world, infiltrating the world of men to act as spies and influence powerful people to do things Neferata wished of them. She became the queen of a vast unseen empire. Connected not by lands, nor enforced by armies. But an empire of whispers, secrets and seduction. All of it secretly existing just to serve the first vampire's desire.
