The Hazards Of Blogs

A music blog (most of the time)

[noshitaka]

reblog if you want joker game season 2

(via noshitaka)

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A subreddit for fans of Joker Game, the franchise consisting of a light novel series, a movie, and most recently, an anime

Didn’t find any subreddits for Joker Game, so I made one

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Today: Arcade Fire

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https://youtu.be/7nNvW081L7g Another episode of the How To series. This time it's Sufjan Stevens

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Instead of writing an article, this time I made a video on my channel and hopefully this will be a series

[choppywings]

Natures show that rages every day It was then he heard his intuition say We were all basically alone And despite what all his studies had shown That what’s mistaken for closeness Is just a case for mitosis

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Woah...

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How to write a Beirut song

Beirut

Perhaps the most pretentious group of white men to ever congregate and make music. Beirut is what happens when a bargain Rick Steve’s Europe guidebook makes love with a trumpet. And it seems that a lot of critics and fans alike adore (more like j’adore as Beirut would put it) this odd marriage between the two. Songs from Beirut work very much like audible postcards from the most exotic locales (so long as Europeans inhabit it), and thus put the listener through a sonic scenic experience.

So here’s how you make your own Beirut song, if ever you need money as impersonator.

Instrumentation

For your main melody and/or rhythm sections. Consider the-

        Piano

        Organ (pump included)

        Ukulele

        Keyboard (I don’t know which brand, don’t ask me)

The piano and keyboard will be the most versatile instruments to utilize. In cases of songs that take a strolling pace, consider a mixture of piano and the keyboard. For slower songs, also consider the piano, the organ, and the keyboard. For songs that annoy, consider ukulele.

For harmonic sections. Consider-

        An intrusive Brass section (mandatory)

        An unnoticeable string section

It seems that Beirut is well known for their fusion of “Balkan Folk” (at least that’s what the Wikipedia page said. I did about 5 minutes of research). Everyone who had ever listened to a Beirut song has thought “this band songs like Mariachi.” It doesn’t actually have to sound Bosnian or Slovenian, it can sound Mexican.

Chances are that covering Nantes didn’t get you the girl, so you had to write a one-time Beirut song for that chick instead. Don’t get hung up on the details (such as the difference between Mariachi and Balkan traditional music), any woman would be attracted to a Zach Condon impersonator, even if it’s a poor one.

Lyrics

European locales and/or References

About 80% percent of all Beirut songs contain a title and lyric that refer to a European city (very rarely a Middle Eastern location, occasional American cities (must be in California or New York)). Writing lyrical content about the city is not necessarily required, but make sure the city is a setting for the lyrics. To find a city suitable, consider closing your eyes and point at an Atlas. Here are some suggestions-

        Prague

        St. Etienne

        Lyon

        Passchendaele

        Peenemunde

        Pianosa

        San Francisco

References to waiting and traveling for a long time

Narrators of Beirut songs are usually vagabonds or travelers in search home (it’s usually home, unless you want to overanalyze) or something that is abstract (in case of overanalyzing). In the case referring to a woman, put her in a position in which she’ll will never meet the Vagabond or hasn’t seen him in a “long, long time.” To pass the time, consider these lyrics relating time that would be suitable

        She will never reach (insert hearth-like noun)

        I’m far too old, and far too cold

        It’s a long way back to home

        Let us gather and flee! And wonder!

French

Google Translate

Composition

For most songs, only write one verse and one chorus of lyrics. Repeat it for 3-4 minutes, interlaced with an instrumental section (sometimes multiple). A typical song Beirut song structure consists of

Intro-Verse-Chorus-Verse-Instrumental-Chorus-End

Bridges are rare and usually replaced with Instrumentals.

A 3-4 chord progression will typically suffice in most cases. For more ambitious chorus structures, insert 5. Typical chord progressions include-

        B-E-F#

        G-C-D

        Or a variation of above chords, but in different key signatures. (In most cases, B major will optimal, occasional C major)

The Perfect Beirut Song!

Munich

        B major

        B-F#-A-E (progression throughout)

(Verse)

Here we are

It’s a long way home

Here in the dark, papers in hand

Scraps behind

Gather with the cold

(Chorus)

Carry the Torch! Oh Munich

Carry the Torch! Oh Munich

Oh Carry the Torch, Munich

(Instrumental)

Verse-Chorus

(Outro/Instrumental 2)

  *Disclaimer: This is a tentative look at motifs found within Beirut songs. For sensitive listeners and fans of the band please realize that this is not to depreciate the quality of their music. Beirut’s a good band, don’t rage.

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Shostakovich and the Anti-Intellectuals (History via music- Soviet Censorship)

Dmitri Shostakovich?

He’s not the composer that comes to mind when classical music is mentioned. There are reasons as to why he isn’t so immortalized in the sense of that such as Bach, Mozart, or Beethoven. However, perhaps, Shostakovich is a much more interesting composer in terms of the era in which he lived in and the circumstances in which he was to compose his art.

Enjoying Shostakovich is definitely of an acquired taste, one of which I even haven’t gained myself. Shostakovich is frequently classified in the extremely diverse and highly experimental sub-genre of 20th (and/or contemporary) classical music. In which the musical aesthetics of this period is huge far cry of a traditional era such as the Baroque period. A listener, upon on hearing any of Shostakovich’s pieces, will likely passively interpreted it as being “not music” or “I’m too stupid to understand this.”

From my personal experiences listening to him, I have found him to be a master of entropy. He is not one of making comfortable music, but more perhaps of creating an atmosphere of disaster and chaos (most likely derived from the fact of living in the Soviet Union) and it seems as if he never has an actual melody or phrase in his compositions. It so happens to be that I don’t really prefer his music

Nor does the government of the Soviet Union.

Shostakovich is well noted for his uneasy relationship with the Soviet government during his life. However, his experiences with the bureaucracy isn’t all that atypical from of other artists of the era. Giving a Shostakovich another label, he would have also been considered a member of the “intelligentsia”, essentially those considered to be educated in the arts or the sciences. However, opposed to common beliefs, not all intellectuals of the Soviet Union were purged (in fact, revolutionaries such as Lenin and Trotsky were both intellectuals, with many others being in the upper echelons of the government), but many were due to their philosophies seen as against the Soviet cause.

However, early in Shostakovich’s career during the ‘20s, he rose to become among the favorite composers of the regime. According the article listed *, (of which I’ve also did considerable research on), views on the government made by Shostakovich during his early career years are essentially unknown (understandably so, as he had a high risk of being executed), but likely can be concluded to having disdain for the system.

During the ‘30s; however, Shostakovich had started to be more vocal of his opinions, even to the point in which he denounced the state of Soviet music in 1931, a statement which comes with serious inherent risk, but nonetheless the composers’ union (closely bind by state guidelines) actually agreed with this statement, and considered to reform composition styles. By 1934, Shostakovich has established himself as among the most prolific composers of the Soviet Union, and composed among his most famous pieces The Lady Macbeth of Mtensk. An Opera, the composition brought Shostakovich to an unprecedented popularity. Despite this seemingly high point in his career, the successes are overshadowed in 1936, in which Stalin himself attended a performance of Lady Macbeth. Soon after, Stalin himself declared the opera style as “decadent and anti-cause”, effectively putting Shostakovich is mortal danger. Though he himself wasn’t arrested, close-ones including his family and fellow intellectuals were however.

Upon facing a considerable threat, Dmitri over the next few years started to adapt his composition style to conform to the acceptable styles of music and gradually became seen as an “obedient” composer once again. His 7th symphony, better known as Leningrad, was seen as a patriotic piece for the Soviets during the war. Despite the horrors of the war, Shostakovich has slowly regained his reputation and somewhat fixed his standing with the government. Once again, unfortunately, he once again faced another denouncement in 1948 with accusation of being “formalist**” (similar to his “1St Denouncement” back in 1936) and Shostakovich promptly apologized, but the apology was not accepted, and consequently lost his teaching positions at the Leningrad Conservatory.

After Stalin’s death, Shostakovich eventually was finally able to compose with relative freedom and boundlessness. By this point in his career, he was seen as a national celebrity, even awarded with the “Peoples’ artist of the USSR”. By 1962, after joining the communist party, Shostakovich did eventually compose relatively uninterrupted by government intervention until the end of his life.

With this in mind, despite having adapted his style for the “people”, Shostakovich has discreetly criticized the government through his pieces. By the time of his death in 1975, the west has seem him as a “good communist”, but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. Even the most patriotic of pieces like the Leningrad symphony has been reinterpreted as a critique of the system. Soon after his “2nd denouncement”, his cantata Antiformalisticheskiy Rayok is seen as the true representation of the opinions of Shostakovich in relation to his forced apology in 1948.

(Nikolai Roslavets)

Interestingly, Shostakovich remained rather unscathed by the system, however, many other artists didn’t fare so well (in terms of literature, visual arts, and also music). Take for example the composer Nikolai Roslavets, a contemporary of Shostakovich, he endured the same prosecution, but is known by very few. Composers like Nikolai Roslavets, Alexandr Mosolov, and Vladimir Deshevov were all musicians considered by critics to be on the same caliber of Shostakovich, but were simply driven to obscurity by censorship by the Soviet government.***

*http://www.musicacademyonline.com/composer/biographies.php?bid=133

**Formalism can be defined as the study of the aesthetics of music itself and the form thereof

***http://www.ce-review.org/99/1/music1_horton.html- An interesting article from Andrew J Horton, detailing other less prominent artists of the Soviet Union during the same era as Shostakovich (and also another source of research)

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The Phenomenon of the ASL song

Youtube is well saturated with musical cover videos. A Countless number of covers grace the video-sharing website. For every one song, 10 covers follow suit (depending on the popularity of the song). And it may seem that this trend is well being on its way of being rather a nuisance on the internet, being redundant and uncreative, (with most of the videos being girls playing simple covers on their guitars in front of the low-quality webcam included with the laptop they’ve bought), truly though, there always have been creative covers of songs on the internet, but on the ironic side of things, these covers are rarely in the spotlight (with the exception of groups like “Walk The Earth”, but personally, I dislike them.)

But perhaps the most unnoticed forms of covers on the internet is sign language covers, specifically ASL covers. Until recently, I wouldn't have ever thought that such an (admittedly) absurd thing would ever exist. After browsing through various Andrew Bird videos one night, I came across a cover of the song “Sifters” interpreted by none other than via the means of American Sign Language, perplexed, I watched and found myself interested nonetheless. After thinking that ASL covers were exclusively done by the channel who created the cover (Stephen Torrence of the channel “CaptainValor”), I soon found myself seeing a considerable amount of videos of the same manner posted on the internet, giving it a somewhat cult status and trend.

The interesting case about these videos is such the fact that these videos are trying to introduce a completely audible medium to an audience with absolutely little to no capability audibly. Perhaps that we can say that this is a novel way to display the lyricism of the artist, but much like the prose of poetry, the words, or in this case lyrics, need to be heard to achieve the complete potential of the piece (not to also the mention the barriers of ASL; certain stanzas of lyrics can’t simply be translated verbatim, and lyrics are typically simplified). By through reading the comments of these videos, it seems that these kinds of covers had garnered a particular appreciation, especially those who suffer from being deaf, as well as from ASL educators. Thought I was never born deaf, I can never attest to the apparent effectiveness of these videos on its viewers, but there is much more of an endearing prospect of these covers compared to the traditional methods (singing, more like), especially when these videos transcend between the senses.

Looking at these covers from an alternative lens, these videos are also somewhat of an interesting, almost abstract, dance interpretation of the songs as well. It’s quite blatant the idea of simply interpreting a song using signs would be dour incredibly quickly, to counter this predicament, interpreters form a rather esoteric choreography to accompany the music. With this technique at hand, a greater variety of videos can be made, opposite of that to the typical “man/girl with a webcam” covers that flood Youtube. Among the rather few amounts of full-blown ASL music videos, the most well produced of which is a cover of Pharrell’s ludicrously popular song “Happy” in which the video itself is actually quite similar to the original music video itself, expect obviously, people are singing with their hands.  

People say that they can tell emotion in a musical performance in a cover, but perhaps what makes an ASL interpreter/cover artist is that they are appealing to a deaf audience. In the case of ASL covers, the whole source of emotion derives from simply from vision alone, something in which music doesn't rely on. And yet the fact that so many are left inspired by such videos is truly a phenomenon that perhaps we, the collective who can hear perfectly, will never understand, but they say that “somethings can’t be explained by words”.

 So you want to watch some ASL videos?

For the Andrew Bird “Sifters” cover- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SfPw8w-6Kc

(CaptainValor’s channel- https://www.youtube.com/user/CaptainValor)

If you’re into listening to songs like Anaconda and Rap God, Amber Galloway Gallego has somehow manage to accomplish the task of translating the songs into ASL (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAg6N0lO0_4gtU-v5U8_vfw)

The cover of “Happy” as filmed by a deaf film camp- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3KSKS3TTbc

And if you’re really adventurous, then why don’t you watch the cover of Gangnam Style interpreted in SSL (Swedish Sign Language)- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLXWFs6

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A Multi-Media education: Chinese Propaganda

Today on The Hazards of Blogs, we get a little educational with the multi-media exploration of Chinese communist propaganda. Admittedly, I have taken in consideration that some readers might find the history of modern China rather dry, but trust me, the materials in which we’ll be analyzing is so bad, it’s so good.

First, we’ll look at a piece of media that is not music-related

Among the annals of video game obscurity, one game is quickly rising to cult popularity as more and more extremely bored gamers search through the graveyard of games of the 90s. Hong Kong 97, (made by Japanese homebrew Development Company “HappySoft”) planned for release of the Super Nintendo Console, was supposedly so abysmal that Asian distributors refused to sell this game. In fact, this game is apparently so elusive that physical copies of this game don’t actually currently exist, and the only way to experience this game is by using emulators. (Play it here! Play it here! http://www.letsplaysnes.com/play-hong-kong-97-online/). With this information currently at hand, a credible argument could be made that such a game doesn’t exist or is actually just an internet joke, but lets get to that later. 

To understand this game’s relation to propaganda, we must first examine the story of this video game.  A bit of warning, the story is borderline surrealist and I’m actually not making this up.

(Taken from the intro cutscene of the game)

The Year 1997 has arrived. A herd of ******* ugly reds. are rushing from the mainland! (Note: this game is actually one of the few SNES games that contain cursing)

Crime Rate skyrockeded! Hongkong is ruined! Therefore, The Hongkong government called Bruce Lee’s relative “Chin”

for the massacre of the reds. Chin is a killer machine. Wipe out all 1.2 billion of the red communists!

However, in mainland China there was a secret project in progress! A project to transform the deceased Deng Xiaoping* into an ultimate weapon!

Let that seep in

First off, if you look at the statistics of Deng Xiaoping’s life, you would point that he died in 1997, strangely coincidental with the plot of this video game, unless this game is actually not planned for release in 1995. (Plus: Deng Xiaoping was 92 when he died, weaponize someone younger, at least Mao Zedong died when he was 82.)

Now returning to the point of this article. It can be said confidently that this is clearly an anti-PRC** satire gone awry, but strangely, despite this game being very anti- communist, it features an surprising amount of communist Propaganda, specifically deriving from the Maoist era. Hong Kong ’97 is a top down shooter game (similar to games like Galaga) that instead of actually designing a level background, the game actually replaces it with pictures of Maoist propaganda, the logo for Asia Television, the logo for China’s Coca Cola, and even a pop art-esque photo of the Chairman Himself. Finally, after you eliminate a hoard of the “reds”. The giant severed head of Deng Xiaoping himself is out to kill you. After you kill him, the game then goes on continually forever. The game doesn't actually end

If one ever finds him or herself in a situation forced to play this game forever, other than the absurd nature of this game, there is no other way to drive yourself to insanity faster than the 5-second loop of the song “I love Beijing Tiananmen” featured in this game. Easily the most pervasive element of this game, “Beijing Tianamen” itself is also a piece of propaganda deriving from the days of the Cultural Revolution. Aimed at children, several primary schools around China sung this song.

This arrangement specifically, however, is particularly repulsive. Being half-Taiwanese, I have heard folk songs arranged with a ‘70s soft rock aesthetic. And it is supremely cheesy. This version, despite being a communist propaganda song (opposite of the capitalist Taiwanese), has essentially the same genre. I simply can’t say this song is good, nor funny as many other internet commentators have stated 

In conclusion, every aspect of this game is intentionally awful simply because the game itself is an very strange satire. From the ridiculous story to the awful song loop, this game is just an absurd satire of Communist China, and quite a brilliant one at that. Whether actually real or not, this game was made intentionally horrible and pernicious to poke fun Communist China, even though the satire might not actually have a point and is simply made to caricaturize. 

However, perhaps more a important point to address while we’re at it is the perspective we are seeing this game through. Many people find this game to be absolutely terrible, but those judging this game on that basis are viewing in the execution of the game itself. Despite the poor programming of this game, this game is rather sophisticated in concept. Even a parallel of this game can be drawn to modern European art. Both mediums had rather poor (or at least atypical) portrayals, but it was never really about the execution, but about the concept behind the piece. Today, modern European art such as Dadaism, Cubism, or Surrealism are seen as masterpieces, perhaps Hong Kong ‘97 would be seen as video game classic in the years to come, but I doubt it, the internet is far too cynical. 

*Deng Xiaoping was the leader of the People’s Republic of China credited for modernizing China. 

**PRC is the acronym for People’s Republic of China

[countfeed]

Colin Meloy @ House of Blues #colinmeloy #houseofblues #hobboston #decemberists #thedecemberists #boston #igers #igers_philly #igers_boston #vsco #vscocam (at House of Blues Boston)

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A Beginner’s Guide to The Decemberists

As I have no doubting telling you, many a fan of The Decemberists can surely tell you that it can be daunting to first get into the band (if not, that person likely was delivered in a library and handed a copy of 16th century literature instead of a bottle). The obvious fact you can tell from multiple listens of the band is that Colin Meloy, the primary songwriter of the band, has an extensive vocabulary that he unrepentantly uses in his songs. There is a reason why there is a select few who hate the Decemberists, and usually it stems from the pretentious vibe listeners get from hearing words like “minstrel” (one could argue that Andrew Bird is more precocious, but that’s for another day).

Youtube channel Girl Pants Productions uploaded a comedy video titled “How to prepare for the New Decemberists Album” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWrvfdBOeRg), in which a man is drilled with a series of difficult words via flashcards from a girl intensively rallying him to prepare for the most recent Decemeberists album What a Terrible World, What a Beautiful World. So as a bit of extension of that video, this article is meant to help the newbie listener of The Decemberists who might need a little guidance on navigating the complicated language of Colin Meloy’s hand.

 The relatively easy songs (Lv. 10-30!)

(And by relative, I mean compared the standards of The Decemberists)

O Valencia (The Crane Wife)

This song from The Crane Wife is the more pop- oriented and one of the easier songs to comprehend in the repertoire of the band. If attentively listening, the narrative of this song (similar to the story of Romeo and Juliet, expect the girl dies and the guy doesn’t, instead of the couple shanking themselves because that’s stupid) should be pretty clear.

Words/Phrases to listen for?: Not particularly, although for new listeners might find the phrasing atypical to other indie songs (ie: “and your frame went limb in my arms”)

The Bagman’s Gambit (Picaresque)

The fifth song from Picaresque is a little more difficult to understand compared to O Valencia. In terms of plot, the song tells the story of US government worker falling in love with a Soviet spy.

Words/Phrases to listen for?: The word bagman and gambit may be words that confuse the listener. Also, a section of this song talks about “trysting”, just know that it means “making out”. Some city references also may confuse others.

Apology song (5 Songs EP)

Among the few number of autobiographical songs from The Decemberists, Apology Song from the first Decemberists EP Five Songs is probably the easiest song from Colin Meloy to understand, likely for the fact that the song was written for a friend, apologizing for losing his bicycle after it was stolen. The song actually was never meant to be recorded and was to be only sung over the phone.

Words/Phrases to listen for?: You’ll be fine

Medium Difficulty songs (Lv. 30-60!)

Calamity Song (The King is Dead)

This song may actually seem more difficult than it really is. The main difficulty in understanding this song derives mostly from the allusions the song makes. But excluding that, most of this song is pretty self-explanatory, and you should be able to work out yourself that is song is about the end of the world (I’d to think is song a more intelligent literary counterpart to REM’s It’s the end of the world, as both songs have a similar musical style)

Words/Phrases to listen for? : Allusions to people and books like Hetty Green (once the richest woman in America) and the Year of the Chewable Ambien Tab (a reference to the David Foster Wallace novel Infinite Jest.

The Crane Wife (Parts 1,2,3) (The Crane Wife)

Lyrically, this song is also not very complicated, but do know that in order completely get this song, I would definitely look up Tsuru no Ongaeshi, or otherwise known as “the Crane Wife”. Mostly not knowing about the Japanese folk tale this song is based is your main impediment to “fully” understand this song.

On the bus mall (Picaresque)

I was actually confused when I first looked at the lyrics of this song, and had to visit several different websites to understand the contents of this song. And when you do, it seems all so clear and also a bit weird as well.

Words/Phrases to listen for? :Palaver, gadabout, also look for the lyrics “suck our lips into our lungs ‘til we were falling”. Also, a bit of a warning, this is one of the more mature songs from the band, it may seem a bit disturbing to some.

Hard songs (OP?!!)

The Tain, Parts I-VI

I have no idea what this 18 minute song means

Words/Phrases to listen for? : Everything

The Island (Come and See, The Landlord’s Daughter, You’ll not feel the Drowning) (The Crane Wife)

This 12 minute song is only unusually long, but also quite a difficult song to understand. Especially in Come and See, when you’ll encounter such words as “cormorant” and “arabesques”. The only other two parts, luckily, aren’t to understand

Words and Phrases to listen for?: curlew, cormorant, Arabesque, reeds, jetty, patagon, sycorax, parallax.

The Hazards of Love (The entire album)

Since this (might I add) incredibly underrated album is a rock opera, the plot is rather confusing to pick up, but there is still an abundance of archaic words in use. For example, what in the world is a “rake”?!

Words and Phrases to listen for?: Go to Wikipedia, look at the plot summary, and then look up 60% of the words in the liner notes. 

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Just was listening to Seven Swans for the first time and happened to come across this gem of a song

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Exploring the world of children’s books from musicians

Just only recently, Pharrell announced his plan to write a children’s book based on arguably the most popular song of last year “Happy”, when considering the lyrics, mostly contain “Because I’m happy” and “Clap along….”, the task shouldn't be too daunting. In fact, Pharrell has already completed the book somewhat, excluding the fact that likely there will be illustrations to accompany the words.

And though this may seem unusual when a musician is publishing a book under his name. Consider the following.

It happens occasionally.

Much like other celebrities, other career experiments are conducted by those with obscene amounts of money (in which failure will not likely ruin them financially), take for example Bruce Willis’s album The Return of Bruno. Some musicians engage in acting, others contribute to gigantic charities, and a handful do write books, usually autobiographies. However, it is rarely mentioned that musicians have written books for children. But not to fret, if you ever find yourself with the curious mood to buy one of these books, they are easily available to buy and they aren't holy relics.

Bob Dylan has had several of his lyrics translated into the picture book medium from several award winning artists, songs including Forever Young, Blowin’ in the Wind, and If Dogs Run Free. All of which were illustrated by three different artists. Interestingly, having lyrics translated into picture books is rather common place, with songs from Bob Marley and Woody Guthrie, even Octopus Garden (which after examining the lyrics would actually transition well into a children’s book.) turned into such books. I suppose it isn’t so much a terrible idea or such a gimmick to grab the cash of parents who want to introduce children to their favorite classics. However, letting your child listen to Bob Dylan’s voice may be detrimental to the young ones ears and perhaps mental stability.

Back in 2003, Madonna once broke another record, but not with the music industry, rather with a picture book she wrote entitled The English Roses, which ultimately became the fastest selling children’s book of all time. The book details the tale of a clique of girls being jealous of the seeming leisurely and luxurious life of the new girl, only to find she is sad and lonely and has no friends. Granted, I’m currently only judging this book on the synopsis but this seems to be a rather “wise” book for children. If your kid likes this stuff, then fulfill his/or her wishes with the 4 other installments in the series.

Paul McCartney has also entered the playing field with his book (co-authored with Geoff Dunbar and Phillip Ardagh) High in the Clouds, which tells of the saga of a squirrel watching her mother get killed by a bulldozer and going on an exodus to find a human-free utopia. Paul McCartney, once again, has found another method of heralding his political ideologies, this time in a seemingly whimsical picture book. What ever can he think of next?

David Bowie released in 2004 the picture book Musical Storyland, which also includes a 20 so minute sing along disc introducing your kids to the man himself. But as a piece of advice from someone who hasn’t had kids yet, make them listen to Bowie of the 60s-70s, when he was good, and before he sucked in the 80s. If somehow you don’t have enough money to pay for a 6 dollar book on amazon (despite being able to read this article on the internet), consider the rather whimsical picture book version of Space Oddity, which (appropriately) lightens the mood in an incredibly depressing song of a man dying alone in space.

I only wish Life on Mars, in my opinion the greatest Bowie song of all time, to be converted into a book. It’s perhaps trippy enough to actually work.

Despite the well- saturated market of musical picture books, there are a number of children’s books written for older ages, most notably the Wildwood series from Colin Meloy. Coming from a man who writes incredibly hyper-literate lyrics and currently has a creative writing degree, you’d expect that they’re well written. I’m a happily admitting to this, but I’m rather fond of this series due to the creative drawings and the well-structured plot of the novels. Plus it’s from Colin Meloy, the realest library gansta of all time.

Perhaps the black sheep of these books is actually a children’s manga co-created by none other than Courtney Love herself called Princess Ai. In this manga, an amnesiac named (surprise!) Princess Ai is transported to Tokyo and falls in love with a musician, but has also the issue of gun-wielding talent agents and demons invading the princess’ homeland.

Considering this manga is the brainchild of Courtney Love, this plot could make a rather typical Zack Snyder film.

*Extra: If haven’t already been to Costco the last year, maybe you’d like to know that “What Does the Fox Say” has also been turned into a book.

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The music behind the worst album covers: "Tino"

This here is Tino, aged 30s

They say that you shouldn't just judge a book on its cover, and the axiom is certainly correct (like Annie Clark* of St. Vincent, she’s like a 8, or 9, but her music is just simply too insane for my likes, unless she collaborates with Andrew Bird), but let us be honest with ourselves, wouldn't you really like your book cover to look nice? Unless your book has its cover ripped out or the cover simply just has the title plastered on it, the reader has to look at the cover every time you pick up the book to read it. Wouldn't you want at least a half decent cover design? And perhaps maybe the novel is really good, maybe you want to show it off to your friends at a dinner appointment? Wouldn't you want a good looking cover then too?

Take for example two separate covers for the undisputed masterpiece To Kill a Mockingbird

This is what I believe to be an “ugly cover”

And this is a much more attractive cover

Very much of this principle applies to album covers. Just imagine Abbey Road or Sgt. Pepper’s without the iconic exterior of the vinyl casing. The aesthetic would simply be different. Taking that in mind, with every good album cover comes an absolutely abysmal one. But does that mean the music of the recording is cataclysmic as well? Of course not.

So as a lesson to teach the young readers of this blog (wherever they are). Let us go and examine the music in the jungle of the worst album covers of all time.

Today’s album: Por Primera Vez by Tino

Por Primera Vez translates from Spanish as “For the first time”, and it so happens to be the artist Constantino Fernandez Fernandez’s (yeah, that's his name, no typo) first solo single. After breaking up from Spanish child band “Parcheesi” at the age of 16, he releases this single with the incredibly awkward cover art as shown here

So how does the music of Por Primera Vez manage?

Well, since I mostly forgot my Spanish after 2 years of learning it, I can’t really translate the lyrics of this song, but let’s assume it’s about kissing a girl for the first time (for anyone else who thinks otherwise, please note that Tino was only 16 at the time of release for this song, so don’t say it’s anything else), and since I don’t know what the lyrics say, I can’t judge the song on those terms.

Musically, however…..

It sounds like the opening song of a 80s rom-com, expect it’s in Spanish. I’m no expert in 80's pop (but I had my share of listening to several songs from the era), so I can’t really actually enjoy the song, but on just basic terms, it’s a decent song, nothing really there to hate, and if you’re really a fan of this style, then you might really like this song. Who knows?

Just another lesson in not judging a book on its cover, it’s the right thing to do, but really, this “Tino” artist has lost all credibility on solely the album cover, so another lesson is to be learned, look good to impress, or lose all respect before you even make an impression (I’m talking to you, potential employees!)

So, lesson of the day: "Have substance and style"

*This is Annie Clark, she looks pretty doesn't she? Well, her music's nuts. 

[greetingsfrommichael]

New Sufjan single. Great article. Gonna be heavy and real record. 

[benfoldsdaily]