The emotional chaos, the absolute rollercoaster of that scene in “Manhattan” where Neal, Rumple, Emma, and Henry met in the apartment just,,,,,, *chef’s kiss*
“Eridians dislike earth because they abandoned Grace.” *Incorrect Buzzer Sound* ya missed the point of the story buddy! It’s not about someone being ‘bad’ it’s about the incredible power of love and that love being worth dying for!
Gimmie Eridians who are absolutely heartbroken to hear that humans where so desperate and so scared that they where willing to part with not just one Grace, there were three of them! Gimmie Eridians touched to find that the humans planned a way for their sacrifices to be as comfortable as possible. Gimmie Eridians who send earth a message saying “We know it must have hurt to send your heroes to die, but one made it and he’s safe here. We lost 22 good Eridians on the journey we would have lost 23 if not for your Grace.”
Give me humans sitting on Earth slowly coming to the conclusion that when we look up not only are we not alone, someone out there is alive because of one of us. That no matter what we think of ourselves a whole species thinks highly of us because we helped save the galaxy. Give me humans who figure out how to send a probe to Erid filled to the brim with messages for Grace and footage of a monument being raised that reads his name, his crews names, and then “in memory of the 22 Eridians who lost their lives on the journey to save the stars.”
this post is inspired in part by this one by @cheshirepirouette and sponsored in part by convos w @asteriis and @indouscurse here’s to y’all!! this post also goes out to my brothers, who are pale as hell for reasons unbeknownst to all of us (this is a joke).
like any good headcanon, this started as a joke because i thought to myself: Ryland sounds like the type of name that somebody’s Black child would have and only use on church sundays. nobody actually has ever called him that in his whole entire life, except maybe his mama SOMETIMES and that’s why he doesn’t remember it right away. i feel like every Black person knows somebody who is called literally anything except their god given name. people call him lil r, lil grace, gracie, ry, ryry, riri, RG, lando, mr. grace, dr. grace, but nobody calls him Ryland, which is part of why he Can’t Remember for so long.
so of course i went back to the source material to see if he ever actually mentioned being white anywhere and unfortunately it is very much at the beginning of the book. so THEN i started to think about how i could get around that while remaining at least largely canon compliant (as a little treat for myself). what i came up with is what i have affectionately dubbed my “litebrite baby” headcanon.
grace was not particularly dark skinned to begin with, and then spent years in a coma with literally no sunlight. he is downright vampiric by the time that he wakes up, and upon seeing his white ass skin, assumes that he is in his own words, a Caucasian male.
unfortunately for him, this fits in really well with his theme of lack of identity and lack of connection. i think for most Black people it would be extremely hard to forget that we’re Black regardless of how light or dark our skin tone is. but throughout the book, even when Grace is thinking about his old, slowly resurfacing memories, he never thinks about family, he never thinks about friends. except for his students and Project Hail Mary, he is completely unmoored.
i’ve seen a few different headcanons for why this might be: he was an only child whose single parent died young, he was cut off by his parents for some reason or another, he just isn’t ever triggered to remember. but no matter the reason, grace is disconnected from crucial aspects of himself. i think that by making him Black, and his Blackness something he can’t remember, it add an extra heartbreaking layer to his characterization. Blackness is such a communal experience, and when it’s not, it leaves behind an ache. growing up Black in White Suburbia i know well both the experience of clinging to one’s own in a hostile world AND the hurt that comes with being severed from one’s community. grace loses so much of himself with the amnesia, unable to recall who he is at the deepest of levels, and i think if he could remember to grieve it, it would devastate him.
i do think he would remember eventually, either when his hair starts growing out (because in the book Armando shaves him iirc), or when he can finally catch a glimpse of his reflection clearly, or when he has a memory of someone in his family. my personal belief is he has a memory beamed directly into his brain of asking “Mama, am I white?” and his poor, long-suffering mom saying, “Now who the hell told you that?”
and then it still never becomes relevant because he has negative desire to explain the nuances of human racial categories to an alien who quite literally cannot see color.
On Grace’s relationship with DuBois and Shapiro in Project Hail Mary
***book spoilers ahead***
I want to do a quick dive into the infamous scene between Grace, DuBois, and Shapiro in chapter 17 (pp. 283–285 in my copy) because an idea occurred to me and I can’t rest until I dig into it. This is the scene in which DuBois informs Grace of the sexual nature of his relationship with Shapiro.
Something about the conversation didn’t sit quite right for me. Upon reflection, I wanted to take a step back from (or perhaps, as it happens, a step further into) my aroace reading of Grace and get to the bottom of what Weir’s intention was in writing it. While I do believe that the aroace reading is strongly supported by the text, I don’t believe that it was specifically intended, which brings us to these points:
The reader is meant to understand that Grace feels a general social disconnect from the Project Hail Mary team stemming from his poor self-confidence
The reader is meant to perceive his total lack of awareness with regard to how highly he ranks in the project’s hierarchy of power
These two points, having previously been established, are both cemented by the scene. Grace is uncomfortable being enlightened to the details of DuBois and Shapiro’s sex life, and he doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that both scientists view him as a superior. It’s heavily implied that DuBois initiates the conversation because he feels the need to report developments in his workplace relationships to a higher-up, and I firmly believe this to be the case—he comments on the prudence of informing Grace on the subject—but that motivation alone doesn’t account for all of what he says. The way I see it, just about anyone alive (regardless of their personal stance on romance or sex) would feel awkward in Grace’s shoes, which begs the question: Why did DuBois and Shapiro both overshare so brazenly?
The first possible interpretation: Knowing that their relationship is doomed, they’ve elected to completely set aside social decorum in the interest of enjoying their time together to the fullest.
The second possible interpretation: They wanted to test Grace’s receptivity to becoming their third.
Stay with me. We can infer that the conversation was premeditated—DuBois launches into it very suddenly, and the first thing he does when Shapiro returns from the restroom is update her on the basics of what’s been said. This is clearly something that they discussed sharing with Grace in advance. Furthermore:
DuBois gently counters Grace on the merits of entering a relationship under the otherwise bleak circumstances
He’s overly blunt and forthright about specifics, such as the lack of need for condoms and the fact that he and Shapiro have both undergone thorough medical examinations
When Grace demonstrates disinterest, DuBois drops one last hint, which is what really sealed the deal for me: “It’s quite pleasurable.” Grace still doesn’t take the bait, so DuBois begins to back off. After briefing Shapiro on the status of the conversation, he deftly changes the subject by pivoting into science talk, but Shapiro gives another independent push: She interrupts the beginning of Grace’s lecture to openly invite DuBois to sex after the lesson, and then they both look at Grace. Grace interprets this gesture as them being “ready for their lesson,” but I would argue that it’s really a classic case of unreliable narration. He misses the cue.
I imagine that at this point, Shapiro (like DuBois) is willing to give up the cause, but we get one more small tidbit of insight: Grace asks (out of what I can only assume is morbid curiosity) if DuBois sticks to his convention of using Shapiro’s professional title during sex, and they both answer affirmatively. Just prior, we hear Shapiro address DuBois by his first name, and prior to that (directly before introducing the topic of sex), DuBois encourages Grace to address him by his first name as well. Granted, that encouragement was prompted—Grace makes it known that he would prefer to drop the formalities in private settings, given that he views the three of them as equals—but DuBois is shown time and again to be someone who highly values professionalism in and out of the workplace. He politely declines Grace’s invitation to address him as Ryland.
Power dynamics seem to play a role in his sex life with Shapiro, as evidenced by her disclosing that she “kind of likes” his use of her title in the bedroom. With that in mind, I don’t think it’s a stretch to conclude that they would both be into the idea of incorporating (what they mutually perceive to be) actual power dynamics into the relationship through the inclusion of Grace.
Circling back to DuBois’s staunch professionalism, I would cite that as further evidence that he’s coming on to Grace in this scene—discussing the minute details of your sex life with your boss is about as far from professional as you can get. Much of what he says is superfluous and irrelevant to the goal of reporting on the existence of a sexual relationship under obligation, unless you factor in the possibility that an obligatory report wasn’t his only goal.
As a final note, I remember the DuBois-Shapiro scene in the movie sticking out to me even upon my first viewing, just because of how oddly it plays out: The two of them are cuddling up at the pre-launch party, and DuBois seems to intentionally make eye contact with Grace from across the bar—who, being caught off guard and slightly uncomfortable, nods in acknowledgement and looks away. I wasn’t sure what to make of that prior to reading the book, but now it stands to me as a reference to the existing undercurrent between the characters in the text. In both versions, DuBois and Shapiro make a bid for Grace’s attention, and Grace is unreceptive. Given that no pre-launch party scene occurs in the book, I have to conclude that the inclusion of this detail in the movie was intentional and carries subtextual significance.
Obviously, if we take this interpretation at face value, it’s more fuel to the fire that is the aroace reading of Grace. It can be used to argue that he rejects amatonormativity on all levels—not just in his scant experience pursuing longterm committed relationships, but in his failure to so much as entertain the idea of a fling or friends with benefits arrangement, even when an easy opportunity presents itself. Romantic affairs never seem to cross his mind. He’s oblivious to the way his relationship with Stratt is perceived until confronted on the subject by DuBois, and he’s quicker to accuse her of sexism upon learning that she sought an all-male team of astronauts than he is to put stock in her actual line of reasoning. If DuBois and Shapiro were indeed trying to make a move on him, it’s no wonder that it flew over his head.
Even beyond the aroace reading, though, this interpretation still contributes to the narrative: It showcases Grace’s emotional isolation on a broader scale and demonstrates how grossly he underestimates the regard his associates have for him. He’s woefully out of his depth in the rigid world of international negotiations that he gets thrust into, ignorant to the degree of sociopolitical power and authority he’s been granted through his close proximity to Stratt, and unaware of what makes his participation so crucial to the project’s success. It only follows that he would also be immune to flirtation, never recognizing his own assets or what might make him uniquely desirable. Thematically, this underlines his later growth in finding a purpose, building the courage and confidence needed to fulfill that purpose, and embracing love (however unconventional its form) as a driving force.
maybe orpheus always looks back because his very effort to reverse death means that he can't look forward. if he could look forward, he could accept eurydice's death, grieve, and keep moving in life. his refusal to accept her death is looking back. his going down to the underworld, asking hades and persephone for her life, trying to lead her out... it's all 'looking back'. he does nothing for the entire story except look back. orpheus! looks! back! it's his entire thing! the story ends the same way it begins: orpheus looked back.
hey guys it's pandora, welcome to my box :) let me show you around! so here we have oh gods oh fuck all the evils of the world are escaping noooooo let me put the lid back on. awww now they're all gone :( oh well at least i still have my hope #myhope
Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.
The most fascinating cat phenomenon I've seen moderating a cat breed forum is undeniably Indian Persian cats. It's such a complicated mix of cat genetics, geography, colonialism, and Victorian race science. I don't fully understand it all. And it's not like I have the cultural background or language skills to have delicate conversations with cat breeders in India about where their cats really come from.
But here are the facts Wikipedia can tell you:
From the 1600s to the 1800s, Europeans saw and sometimes obtained cats with very long and silky hair that were said to come from somewhere in the Levant/Middle East/Central Asia. Possibly Persia or Khorasan
Khorasan is a region divided by Iran, Afghanistan, and Turkmenistan. It seems to have some relationship with cats with long silky hair.
As the British colonized India, reports of these cats and how they were even imported into northern India from Afghanistan became more and more frequent.
In London in 1871, the Crystal Palace hosted the first known cat show.
Cats, I hasten to point out, didn't really have "breeds" the way we see them in dogs, horses, or cows. Humans didn't play a huge role in choosing which cats would breed with which in their history. It is, in fact, significantly harder to prevent cats from fucking whoever they damn well want to. Most major differences between cats before the late 19th century were caused by geographic barriers that placed natural limitations on the pool of available feline fuckbuddies. But this was a time when humans had cracked evolution and Mendelian genetics and we were breeding cows and pigs and tea roses of gargantuan size, and apparently we looked at cats and thought, "Why not them too?"
So, 1871. Cats of unparalleled regal fluffiness and an exotic origin story. This was also when Siamese cats made their public début, but the colourpoint/acromelanism gene of Southeast Asia was genuinely unique and rare in Europe. You really did need imported breeding stock for Siamese cats.
But these days we have DNA and can compare relatedness between breeds and feral cat populations, and modern pedigreed Persian cats do not show much genetic interrelatedness with cats from Central Asia, but they are very interrelated with... the British Shorthair. And feral cats of Western Europe.
So I'm not saying everyone in 1871 was out in rural Shropshire hunting farmyards and barns for the fluffiest kitten known to man to win the next year's cat show with, but like... look me in the eye and say that isn't what happened. I dare you.
Persians in the West, being one of the oldest cat breeds, have had a lot of time to develop some really stellar inbred traits like the smashed-in face beloved of the 1950s that makes it hard for them to groom themselves, breathe easily, or make their teeth match without a massive underbite. Breeders are now trying to breed away to a healthier "doll-faced" standard, but they're not winning huge popularity prizes.
Meanwhile, in India... you still have a ton of completely majestic cats descended from the ones that kicked off the Persian craze in the first place. Perhaps actually from Persia, or at least Khorasan. None of whom count as "real Persians" because they didn't get named Wiggles McSnugglebutt III by a woman in Berkshire before being exported to India.
Except you actually do have a fair number of purebred western-style Persians, except hold the Persian part of their ancestry, brought to India and sold for huge amounts of money to win Western-style cat shows.
All of which to say: What the fuck???
So every couple weeks someone from India posts their beautiful fluffy "Persian" cat to the cat breeds forum and gets completely dogpiled because they don't have a documented pedigree and a fucked-up face for their pains, and I'm left struggling in an attempt to communicate that their cat (like every cat) is special and wonderful and also cat breeds are incredibly weird.
(God, how did I end up with this gig? "You hate modern cat breeds and aren't afraid to back it up with research? Come tell people what breed their cat is multiple times a day!")
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