Reid Foxer, Consulting Wierdo.

hi, i'm Reid, and i have unhealthy attachments to stuff. i wholly welcome suggestions, pies, questions, and blatant insults. my hobbies include action movies, science, profanity, sex, and rock n' roll.

[0011000111110010100]

BIT NOT GOOD, MABEL (+obligatory “If you’re not watching Gravity Falls, you should be.”) 

[itsybitsyb0nes]

oh gosh xDD poor john D:

[goddessofidiocy-deactivated2019]

james bond

bond girl

high-powered villain

done

[confringo-]

i’ll take three whole movies of it

[not-cooper]

My mom tried to grow a lemon tree here in rainy Washington state.

[xekstrin]

im laughing so hard im crying over this tiny ass lemon

[goldcrescent]

can we take a second to ponder on the fact that a kids movie did lady armor better than the entire film and comic industry

guess who i’m talking about

did you guess? Well you’re fucking WRONG because it’s Susan goddamn Pevensie

They gave her light armor, appropriate for a small archer:chainmail, an arm brace, chest plate, and a light skirt she can easily run around murderizing dudes in the face in

her hair is also only loose in the promo pictures because Susan is fucking busy not dying because her hair was flying into her eyeballs so she braids that shit back

her mail shirt is also loose enough that it doesn’t impede her arm movements it’s almost like she’s dressed for a fight wow

I like the pinks and purples under her bitchin as hell leather armor here, because you don’t have to be masculine to shoot someone in the goddamn face

[ploomish]

my dash did something

[frogspawned]

!!

[lang95]

Triforce squad.

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[tastefullyoffensive]

by floccinaucinihilipilificationa

[deathtovch-deactivated20141222]

I want to live in a world where its okay to wield huge swords

[ithinkitstimeforchange-deactiva]

It’s….not…okay? 0_0

[snoozingcat]

sometime I just think about how easy it would be to market superheroes toward little girls and I am filled with rage

like do these people not realize how fucking easy this shit would be

there’s the dazzler she’s like a popstar and a superhero do you know how many 4-12 year old girls would dig that shit

there’s the wasp and her superpowers are seriously like zapping jerks, flying, and being cuter than everybody else. also she’s a famous fashion designer. and she’s better than you. (like she shrinks and stuff too but mainly her power is being better than you)

she-hulk is like this nerdy chick with the power to get bigger and greener and be spontaneously tougher than everybody in the vicinity like I don’t even know a little girl who wouldn’t slit someone’s throat for the ability to be stronger than all the boys when they pissed her off

little girl likes magic? scarlet witch

little girl likes science? invisible woman

little girl likes spies? black widow

little girl likes aliens? karolina dean

little girl likes bionic arms? misty knight

little girl likes flying horses? wow. guess who has one of those? valkyrie. valkyrie does.

My point is that’s it’s so fucking easy so chop-chop, Marvel, get on it. Seriously, I went ten years of my life thinking superheroes were boys. That’s ten years of you not profiting off of my inability to refrain from buying even the crappiest merchandise you offer if it has a character I love on it. Little girls are an enormous market; they will buy all your shit if you just suggest to them that maybe they’d like to.

or you could just keep on not profiting when you could be making money selling literally any object that has enough space to plaster a female superhero’s face on it. that’s cool too.

[imnotcuteimadorabloodthirsty]

Asexuals, bisexuals, and pansexuals all have a closet to come out of. Except it’s less of a closet and more like the wardrobe to Narnia.

‘Cause when they come out, no one believes them or the things they experienced.

[theasexualityblog-deactivated20]

Where is the lie?

[678i0u]

[thedeadguyintheback]

“I thought you said you were a pilot.” “I never said pilot.”

[hellostarstrucklove-deactivated]

[nerdyelephant-deactivated201911]

HOW THE HELL DID SHE OUTRUN A T-FUCKING-REX IN THOSE 5 INCH HEELS????

[harlequinesque]

she wore them the entire movie and that’s your question?

[iamthemagicks]

If she had some heels with really good support and fit her feet well and she was used to moving around in said heels, I think it’s perfectly believable that she could outrun the t-rex. There are women who can run in heels and they should be respected and feared.

[kristenwiiggle]

[lg-joanne]

We should all fear Lady Gaga

[lord-kitschener]

we did it, guys, we got Alabama to ban the straights

[teach-a-fish-how-to-man-deactiv]

[negativereader]

Behold, the worst written line of all time:

Aro laughed. “Ha ha ha,” he giggled.

-Stephenie Meyer New Moon

[iheartmoonlight-deactivated2020]

Excuse me but

“His voice is warm and husky like dark melted chocolate fudge caramel… or something.” -EL James Fifty Shades of Gray

[therealfeedback-deactivated2018]

Fifty Shades is a treasure trove of terrible lines.

“I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of the Communist Manifesto.”

“His erection springs free. Holy cow!”

“Holy crap! He’s wearing a white shirt.”

The fact it used to be Twilight fanfiction really comes through when you actually look up some of the text.

[itfkinwormtime]

“His eyebrows widened”

- E.L. James; Fifty Shades of Grey

[caedmonfaith]

This post always makes me feel better about myself.

[dayofthedoodles]

I stopped my work day so I could make this stupid gif.

[caedmonfaith]

I nearly peed.

[tomatolmao]

if you are flirting with me please put [I AM FLIRTING WITH YOU] at the end of every sentence because i am dumb and i don’t understand when people are nice and when people are flirting thank u this has been a psa

[outsidersmark]

[suggestive invitation] i was just thinking that maybe we could make plans sometime soon. [subtle come-on] i would really like to spend more time around you. [genuine compliment] i always have a good time when we’re together. [flirtatious remark, with a small hint of desperation] you have terrific taste in pretty much everything, so i’m sure that anything you might suggest would be mutually enjoyable. 

[mysharona1987]

[andrewoclock]

[speciesofleastconcern]

NOTORIOUS

[best-of-memes]