Letting the Demon Loose @thedeepdarkme-blog - Tumblr Blog

theboysarehere

#skinny #collar bones #thinspo #bonespo #cigarette #smoking

actify-deactivated20160421

#skinny #beautiful #thinspo #male thinspo

parkermassey

#skinny #scenic #beautiful #thinspo #suffering

cocteauheart

#skinny #boy #thinspo #male thinspo #cute

strangeforeignbeauty

#skinny #thinspo #male thinspo

livingundersexualthirst

#gay #manorexia #skinny #thinspo #cute

beautiful-guys :3 | via Tumblr on We Heart It.

#ana #rex #anorexia #manorexia #skinny #thinspo #bonespo #ribs #male thinspo

Wasting Valuable Days and Minutes

Have you had fun playing? I need you to listen to me. You've been running all over the fucking place wasting valuable days and minutes ignoring me. You have taken months of progress and goal reaching and just shat on it tenfold by doing nothing. You think you're doing better? You aren't even close to your goal yet, the false sense of security that you have been feeling is only that - false. Fake. Useless. Worthless. A simple waste of energy. Sure you can feel your ribs now, but can they stand out without effort? You can suck your gut in and actually feel like you are done with me, but you are fooling yourself. Come back to me, I still want the best for you. I have the best for you and all I need for you to do is remember me, my words, my breath. Mine needs to be yours so that your every second is a step in the right direction. I can take you there. So get up off your ass and figure this shit out. I'm here. Don't leave me again, you'll regret it even more than you do now. -Rex

#letter from rex #ana #rex #anorexia #manorexia #words #insightful #thinspo

makeoutboys

#ana #rex #anorexia #manorexia #skinny #beautiful #thinspo #male thinspo #guys suffer too

savagesisu

#ana #rex #anorexia #manorexia #skinny #thinspo #male thinspo #guys suffer too

mysteriousmitch

#ana #rex #anorexia #manorexia #make me skinny #trying so hard #boys with ed #ed #guys suffer too

lookingfortheman

#gay #cute #thinspo #male thinspo #wishful thinking

"Ideal" Is Just a Milestone

So. This month has been a month of change and re-committment to my goal of feeling good and looking good about myself. I've reached the "ideal weight" for a person of my sex and height. 156. I am learning to look at myself in a new light of being in a good place. While the proportion of fat to beauty is off, I am able to see myself as not so shitty as I used to. I've come a long way - 20 or 25 pounds since I started this blog. I've been pushing hard to making it to my goal. Weight is a number that is just the easiest to measure. I want to feel good, it just so happens that with every pound, so much stress and fear of judgment is lifted off me. So I've been rushing and pushing through. I don't care how "skinny" I get, I'll do whatever it takes. It is still unreal to me that I made it to the 50s, because 10 months ago I was 225. The number 225 triggered my first purge, and therefore my first time taking my appearance and life into my own control. Turns out, you CAN change your circumstance, purging was my release, my way to control and sculpt my identity. From there I dropped FAST to 190 or so, then hit a plateau for a couple months. Overcome with a sense of failure I learned to restrict instead of binge/purge, and dropped FAST again to 175 where I stopped. This past month or two I've found a balance where I can barely eat anything, live purge-free without even occasional or weekend binges and have been dropping for round 3. I would love to see this new routine take me to 140 where I will start to focus on muscle building to even myself out. Holy shit, "ideal weight" used to be 60-70 pounds away, which seemed impossible. Now that I'm here, another 20 should be NO problem right? Here we go, let's do this.

#ana #rex #anorexia #manorexia #bulimia #boys with ed #ed #guys suffer too #words

How have you been?

Probably depends on the perspective, but I feel great. I continuously need to be smaller, and have pretty much stopped eating all together. A few bites of any one thing gets me through a day pretty easy. I'm sooo close to being where I'd like to be, so I'm trying to rush to the end. I've been realizing how far I've come and have been feeling great, but am pushing harder than ever.