THIS IS THE FUNNIEST HEADLINE IVE EVER SEEN

祝日 / Permanent Vacation

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@theartofmadeline
occasionally subtle
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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Today's Document
Keni

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
styofa doing anything

if i look back, i am lost
Sweet Seals For You, Always
DEAR READER
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Misplaced Lens Cap
RMH

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Xuebing Du
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@thedisneyaddicts
THIS IS THE FUNNIEST HEADLINE IVE EVER SEEN
This is the funniest thing i’ve heard my entire life 😭
Truth xD
This is literally me as a kid. Dad used to have the responsibility of giving out the well reports that came in on the friday night to anyone who phoned for the rest of the weekend. The problem was, on saturday mornings, he was doing the food shopping, so I was given a list of approved callers and he’d leave the well report figures by the phone.
Theoretically I was just supposed to list off the numbers. Except. Very early I started parsing the figures and give my own analysis. Apparently engineers and geophysicists got a bit freaked out by a ten year old going ‘It’s not that good, the flow’s really slow compared to last week, and there’s gas pockets really screwing up the flow in the east pipe judging by the pressure report.’
Dad still got that yelled at him at conferences: ‘This is the fucker who used child labour to do well analysis!’
‘Was it wrong?’
‘That’s the not the point!’
For so long, all I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor that I wanted. But really, I was just trying to please you.
Avatar: The Last Airbender — “The Day of Black Sun, Part 2: The Eclipse”
Thank you to ATLA for not giving the abusive dad a redemption arc
i had a dream last night that they made a live-action r*verdale-style reboot of phineas and ferb and it looked like this
the biggest questions detective pikachu answered
no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things
some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.
Technically if your cat isn’t battling it doesn’t evolve.
That does however give cat owners a strong incentive to not let their cat outside, because realistically any cat that is allowed to roam free is gonna rack up exp until it evolves.
I let my litten out one day and a week later incineroar rips my door off and demands wet food only
it’s me, the neediest person in the world™
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jesus
These are just too good
I think people w/o diabetes don’t understand how fucking dangerous of a disease it is. Like whether you have type 1 or 2 (or any other) it’s a v harmful and debilitating illness that can kill you v quickly if you’re not careful. I say this bc there are so many people who don’t think much of it, and can indirectly harm those who have it.
When I was working, i got in trouble for wearing my insulin pump bc it looked ‘unprofessional’. I’d calmly explain that taking it off could endanger my life and unless they wanted a scene where I’m hauled off on an ambulance and then a subsequent lawsuit, they better let me wear it. Another time I got in trouble bc it started beeping in front of a customer. I was asked to take my blood sugars only on my breaks, even though my doctor said I needed to take it every 3 hrs. I only got 1 half hour break 4 hrs into my shift, and 1 15 min break 6 hrs into my shift. And even when I brought in a dr note explaining why it was so important, I’d still get dirty looks from my bosses and asked to do it in the fucking pantry (since we didn’t have a break room). Like, I had to sit on a dirty ass stool in a cramped space, they wouldn’t let me use a booth. the compassion was non existent.
It may not look as dangerous or debilitating as an illness like cancer, but it is. When I experience low blood sugars, I exhibit symptoms that are scary as hell. My speech comes out slurred, and I get very sleepy/fatigued. My hands shake until I physically cannot hold onto anything, and my cognitive function becomes nonexistent. In fact, if someone is not there with me when I experience it, it can become 2x deadlier bc I don’t have any help.
Just, please recognize that diabetes is very real and serious and scary. ask ur diabetic friends/family how you can help them bc I can guarantee you there is something you can do that’ll make things easier. *For example, ask them where they keep their emergency sugar stashes, or their glucagon pen (and learn when and how to use it!). Find out ahead of time what they need you to do when they experience a high or low blood sugar. Remind them to take their meds or blood sugars when needed. Just be there for them and defend them against people who are ignorant.
*note: depending on the type of diabetes, their needs may differ. I’m going off of what I experience/need as a type 2 diabetic, and even then different people may need different things. Just ask.
Ppl w/o diabetes can nd should reblog, but don’t derail this post unless you have it.
truly the darkest timeline
as if we couldn't all say ‘fuck facebook’ even more
I’m eating this Russian chocolate and it made a rattling noise when I shook it and there’s a horse magnet inside???
russian kinder surprise
That looks like it’s made of coal.
It tasted like coal
you ate a vase
honestly at this point me eating a small vase is the least of my problems
how the fuck do you look at a vase or table ornament and think “this is chocolate I will bite it”
isn’t that the neck tattoo guy
This guy needs to slow down 😂😂😂
THAT’S WHERE I RECOGNIZED HIM FROM
But how could you leave out this masterpiece???
I love him
yall r missing the BEST one
I might have just found myself a new idol
Unsure if real or an elaborate character but in any case he’s fighting the good fight so 🤷🏻♀️💯
He shouts a lot. What a fun guy.
He has only one brain cell and he uses it to live life
whats the meaning of life? son, its those little tiny pumpkins. the ones that are mad small. you know the ones i mean.