Humans often refer to Malinois as “landsharks.” It is a little known fact among humans that sharks are indeed our less-evolved cousins of the sea.
For instance, we feature an identical bite force per square inch (which us Mals are always striving to increase).
We are both apex predators, poised at the top of our food chains - sharks in the ocean, Mals on the remainder of Earth. Once we grow gills, we will become the scourge of the seas as well. (In the interim, us Belgians do our best to accelerate evolutionary progress by spending plenty of time in the water.)
Another little-known similarity is that, like our shark relatives, Malinois possess the ability to replace lost and damaged teeth. I keep telling this to my mom every time she bemoans fresh tooth damage earned in my exploits - don’t worry about it, they’ll replace themselves eventually and be bigger and shinier than ever - but unfortunately humans aren’t the most skilled listeners. So she continues to fret. (You see, humans also don’t have the best genetic nerve strength.)
Malinois’ most important trait shared with our Great White cousins, however, is that movement is integral to our oxygen conversion process. In other words, if we stop moving? We die.
Unlike our Great White cousins, however, we do not simply keel over. Malinois feature yet another evolutionary advantage in this regard. Like the bus from Speed, if our velocity slows beneath a certain point for more than a certain amount of time, we explode.
In true “you’ll never get me to a second location” nature, this ensures that anyone who shirks our exercise requirements will get theirs.
To ensure prevention of a literal fur missile, be sure to do your research before acquiring a member of our breed. And to those out there who aren’t spending your lives 100% dedicated to entertaining your Malinois: your days are numbered. Work, a social life, and other silly human distractions are no excuse. You’ve been warned.
gracieabrams
2087
romaincrisis
origamiaround
izzy806
tangentwithtanner
jimmyeatworldofficial
germansingergirl
