Spacing Out @thedogreturns - Tumblr Blog

Waking up way earlier than usual today…

hmm today i think i will treat statistics as infallible knowledge downloaded from planet earth's objectively correct stat counter instead of a summary of information someone obtained in some way and is now presenting to you a certain way

funnytwittertweets

afatlittledog

me: reblogs anything

the green bar that pops up telling me I reblogged something:

peerless-cucumber

tiktokstowatch

anais-ninja-bitch

what episode of gravity falls is this?

itisintentional

literally the first one

mustxrd

powerfulwizard

ibakesouffles

stop everything, this is bitty doing research for his thesis

there's more lmao, unhinged bitty energy

sighinastorm

Spaghetti is the opposite of spinach.

Yes, I will be taking questions.

badabingbadabong-deactivated202

Explain

sighinastorm

duran-duran-less-official

OH I GET IT NOW.

Yes this is valid.

adhoption

now calling people ‘spaghetti’ or ‘spinach’ depending on how well they do under pressure

drunk-cobain

Tag yourself I’m spinach

lizstiel

one time a dude came into the pet store I worked at and bought nine dollars worth of dog treats with a 100 dollar bill that had clearly been made from green construction paper. when I hesitated and ran it through all the methods of testing we had (it failed all of them) he asked for my manager. she had been shitty with me all morning, and came to the register in a huff, grabbed it from me, slammed it in the register and told me to “just do my job.” this dude and I are looking at each other, both of us 100% aware that he’s getting 90 dollars from me in exchange for a piece of construction paper that had been cut a little crooked, and he’s just smiling at me and I’m standing there, overworked and tired, getting paid minimum wage, which, it turns out, is not enough to speak up any further, so I just said fuck it. When I got to work the next day there were cops there to inform us we were the fourth or fifth shop on the road to get hit by the same guy. My manager was going HOGWILD. I just looked at her like

the-oncoming-glowcloud

“"idc any more, take the money and godspeed”“

unpopularvevo-deactivated202311

zombieseamonster

five year olds having a discussion is literally that philosophers painting

zombieseamonster

5yo a: I found yellow pelican feather

5yo b: no thats from the craft box

5yo a: but it Comes from some where first, the teachers hunted the yellow pelican and put it in the craft box

zombieseamonster

yesterday's philosiphical conversation was:

•monsters dont exist

•i have never seen a monster and thats how i know theyre not real

•ive never seen a frog

•frogs arent real

spite-knot-deactivated20210817

oldblogbones-deactivated2022020

tiktoksthataregood-ish

mukuharakazui

i saw the velmas in front of my store yesterday!! at first i saw 1 velma and thought “aww, a friend group is dressed as the mystery gang” until an entire pack of velmas following and absolutely lost it.