All The News That's Fit To Print

A news hub for Vantage Point Roleplay. Anything posted on this blog can be read and reacted to in character.

[theelasilonews]

Are SOLDIER Units Human? - An In-Depth Report

by The All-Seeing Eye News Network Reporter Chad Lee

There are many questions about SOLDIER Units to be had. Does a corporation have the power to create a police force of this size? Why do they seem to only target those with powers? Should SOLDIERs be counted as human beings, as autonomous individuals with free will, rights, and emotions? The last question is one that hold a tight grip on the minds of many, plaguing the minds of second rate science fiction authors and robosexuals for months  But truly there is only way to determine the answer to the question, which is by answering another question, the only question that matters in regards to the human condition- Can the androids be disappointed by the lack of new John Carpenter movies?

We here at the All Seeing Eye news network sat down with Vantage SOLDIER researcher Morin Roost to explore this perplexing ethical conundrum. “Well, SOLDIERs are built to simulate the human body as much s possible. We like humans, ya know? You like humans. I like humans. Everyone likes humans.” Morin explained. “We have them do all kinds of human things. They can eat. They can breathe. They can bleed. They have assholes. They sometimes just look at the way the world is and get really depressed. They have sex with Samantha from Geometry class in high school and choose to never speak of it again. Normal, human things, simulated to a degree that is indistinguishable from a normal human.”

“So yes,” Morin continued “we have all units come with a pre-programmed thought of “wow, I wish John carpenter was still making movies.” SOLDIERs, like everyone else, think that Halloween and The Thing are great movies, and believe that the film industry- nay, art as a whole- would be better off if Carpenter was still making classic films.”

“Vantage really has given us the resources to make our AIs fully, completely human. And that means that they love John Carpenter more than a caged man loves freedom.” Morin concluded, before getting up and staring deeply, longingly into a poster for the 1982 movie Bladerunner, notably not a John Carpenter movie.

Morin refused to answer any further questions about the SOLDIER’s opinion of They Live, stating that “Never mention that movie again.” in a monotone voice that spoke of horrors none could fathom. Morin ended the interview afterwards.

Thank you to the Vantage Corporation for sitting down with us, reputable and very real news network The All Seeing Eye.

[theelasilonews]

HOTLOOX REWIND: A Retrospective on Moira Capulet's Mourning Fashions

By Sydnee Lang (via OK! El Asilo)

The past six months have not been kind to Fairfax Media heiress, fashion mogul, social media icon and general person of note Moira Capulet. And I don't mean that in the snide, "oh they've aged badly," way as much as I mean that this has been a half-year of great personal tragedy for Moira.

In February, Moira had the unfortunate luck to be the one to discover the body of her cousin, Reid Fairfax, following his tragic murder at his own charity gala. A few months following, the family was rocked with further tragedy in the death of her grandfather, Leopold Fairfax, leaving young Moira Capulet as the sole inheritor of both his fortune and his media empire.

Counter to conventional wisdom, though, tragedy has far from withered Moira’s beautiful face. Quite to the contrary, actually, she has channeled the personal tragedy of her personal life into great art in the form of her latest fashions. The following will be an examination of these looks as what they are: works of art. 

I had to include this look in close-up (from Moira’s first public appearance after the press conference she gave following her cousin’s death), because a wide shot just doesn’t do her fantastic makeup justice. Moira stunned at a benefit brunch for AIDS research in a frankly pretty frumpy antique mourning gown, but dressed it up with silver graphic eyeliner and white mascara (a bold choice for a woman who was still, at this point, publicly bursting into tears). Girl must use industrial-strength setting spray.

Okay, okay, bear with me. This look (a gorgeous Sinead Frost original dress, with silver embroidery accents hand-stitched by Moira herself) was a bit controversial in its time, but listen: it’s good. 

This was the actual dress Moira was wearing when her cousin’s body was discovered, and yes, that’s his blood still on it. Reportedly, when she realized there was no hope of getting the blood out without ruining the dress itself, Moira opted to make the stains PART of the dress. And frankly, I can’t think of a more apt metaphor for grief and tragedy, can you?

(Moira has worn this number to a few events, but this snapshot is from her profile for the El Asilo Times, which you should all read right now.)

Moira has gone through a few hair colors since February, but this one is a wig, actually. Capulet’s triumphant return to the modeling scene of El Asilo sure did kick off with a bang, a hitherto unprecedented collaboration between herself and the seldom-seen-together Blair Blackwood and Orianthe Bathory. Here, all three titans are seen modeling original looks from up-and-coming designer Kristel Marcel Choi, with whom Moira has partnered closely in the past. 

Every look in this shoot is magnifique, obviously, but I’m really partial to the Black-Swan-meets-Jesus-Christ-meets-Weeping-Mary look Moira is sporting in this shot. They’re pretty disparate influences (and bold considering her very-much-not-a-catholic background), but astute readers of this column know I LOVE bold. 

(Discussion question for this week’s article: Is Orianthe Bathory actually that sexy? Or are they just tall? It makes you think.)

I think it says something about the column I write that I’m calling this the most wearable look out of the bunch. There’s not much to say about this look, but I’m including it for a few reasons: Firstly, I love a good f**king pantsuit. I know my editor is going to remove that, but it’s true. Second: Blood tears and a sleek red bob were a bold choice for the occasion, that being the press conference at which Moira properly accepted her new position as president and CEO of Fairfax Media and announced her plans to move the company’s headquarters to El Asilo over the course of the next few months. 

Moira is being cagey about her plans for the company, but she has said, and I quote, that “Fairfax Media is and always has been a company for the people, and we’re interested in adding some established beacons of the free press in El Asilo to the Fairfax Media family, in order to best continue the fight for justice in not only the city-state of El Asilo, but in America itself.”

Hmmm!

I still think this makeup look does look a bit clownish, though. 

That’s it for this week, dear readers. Pick up OK! El Asilo next week for a returning favorite! (Hint: It’s Anthen Reiter. Of course it is. It’s like you people don’t even KNOW me.)

(SYDNEE LANG is a real journalist, goddarn it!)

[theelasilonews]

CULTURE: American Fever Dream: Rise of a New Punk

by Kalliope Kenney (via the El Asilo Gazette)

American Fever Dream, stylized in promotional materials as American FEVER Dream or simply AFD, is what most would refer to as an "overnight success." The band appeared a mere month ago, playing underground concerts in basements and garages, and has gained considerable traction in the underground music scene of El Asilo. Sporting a drummer, cellist, keyboardist, lead guitar, vocals, and occasional violin, AFD's sound is, in their own words, "Alternative punk rock that took a wrong left turn at folk." Their lyrics? Anti-corporate, anti-fascist, left-leaning, and most of all, anti-Vantage.

So how did this weird, quirky band with a budget of nothing capture the hearts of so many?

"I'd like to think that something about our messaging rings true for a lot of people," says Swan Song (nee Virginia Cross, formerly Songbird), the band's frontman. "We live in this city where, for a really long time, we've only had media that was like 'do what we say, don't fight authority, big brother knows best.' And I grew up on punk rock where it was all about saying no, f*ck that, we're not lying down for that sh*t. So I wanted to be that for the people of this city, when it seems like we've learned to kinda lie down and take it."

In service of this mission statement, AFD's marketing for their debut EP, EGG ZONE, has been distinctly guerrilla in nature. Their first large-stale concert, for instance, took place in open air on the roof of a stolen Vantage delivery truck as it slowly circled the block around Vantage's HQ building.

"Was it illegal? Hell yeah it was," Swan Song adds, looking almost proud of herself. "I thought we were gonna get taken out by a sniper or something. Even made the others wear helmets, although we didn't end up needing them. I think they didn't want to make a bigger scene than we were already making."

Although the group is still new and growing, the members have already forged a tight-knit bond.

"I really love working with American Fever Dream," says band keyboardist Catiline, interviewed for this article alongside her twin brother Cicero, the band's cellist. "We'd actually worked with [Swan Song] for a long time, and we're pretty close friends! This is just the first time we've ever done anything...musical together."

"Be gay, do crimes, smoke weed, hail satan," Cicero adds frankly. "420, 666."

All jokes aside, the band's work often does benefit from a distinctly young, distinctly queer perspective, as many of the band's members identify as members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Like the punk rock genre that spawned it, American Fever Dream is interested in loud and proud rebellion against a world that cares very little for its people. It is utterly unfettered, and beautifully bombastic in that way only young adults know how.

American Fever Dream's debut EP, EGG ZONE, is currently available for purchase on the band's Bandcamp, americanfeverdream.bandcamp.com.

(KALLIOPE KENNEY is a longtime El Asilo resident. When she's not writing scattered words about art and culture, she spends her time sewing her own clothes and listening to bands you've PROBABLY never heard of.)

[theelasilonews]

Foul Play Suspected in Death of Art Patron Family Member

by Hazel Motes (El Asilo Gazette)

Thatcher Moran was found dead this morning, shot four times, halfway through a glass door in a suburban home that was not his.

Mr. Moran, most notably, was an adoptive member of the Tartarus family, a group of wealthy benefactors responsible for keeping El Asilo's art scene healthy and thriving. Most of the members of the Tartarus family are not related by blood, simply adopted by its matriarch, and they have previously lent funding to gallery shows, concerts, plays, and even poetry readings. It's hard to understand why someone might have murdered a patron of the arts, though perhaps the murder was politically motivated, as one of the current Tartarus members also enjoys a seat on the Vantage board of directors.

The home in which Mr. Moran was found is owned by one Mikael Oksanen, who was not available for comment to the Gazette. Police reports indicate that Mx. Oksanen was woken up at 7:30 this morning by the sound of Mr. Moran's body being shoved through the sliding-glass door in their kitchen. Mx. Oksanen is being held for further questioning by the EAPD.

Astute readers of the Gazette may recognize the name Mikael Oksanen, as they were implicated fairly recently in an operation to smuggle weapons into El Asilo. All charges against Mx. Oksanen have since been dropped. The EAPD declined to comment, though Mx. Oksanen's lawyer released a public statement claiming that the only evidence found towards Mx. Oksanen's involvement in the smuggling operation was largely circumstantial.

Mr. Moran is survived by his adoptive mother Nyx, one biological brother, his two nephews, and many adopted siblings. His funeral will be held this Friday at the Farewell Funeral Home, for any who wish to attend.

(HAZEL MOTES is a recent transplant to El Asilo, an aspiring poet, and the Gazette’s newest staff member. In his downtime, he enjoys a good murder mystery and the occasional Virginia Slim.)

[theelasilonews]

Vantage’s New Power Couple?

By S.C. Raynaud (OK! El Asilo)

You know we reporters at OK! El Asilo don’t like to gossip....

Who are we kidding, you know us so much better than that!

And boy, do we have a scoop for you.  There’s romance in the air!  Our dear mayor seems to have missed Valentines Day this year, but he certainly pulled out all the stops for his mysterious mall date!  Our beloved mayor and his mysterious date shared a box of chocolate covered strawberries.  One could argue that any hand holding involved was because his date was blind, but we at OK! El Asilo like to look past stereotypes to deliver you quality news.

Unfortunately, Mayor Winter’s bodyguards prevented our photographer from snapping any photos on site, but we at OK! El Asilo give you our 100% guarantee that this mall date was hotter than the California sunshine!

BONUS SCOOP:

Mayor Winter’s new boo works at Vantage too!  Could this be the company’s new power couple, or is there a lawsuit in their future?  

{This magazine is for entertainment purposes only, and is protected as per Hustler v. Falwell, 485 U.S. 46 (1991) as satire, political and otherwise.}

[theelasilonews]

Body of Park Ranger Found; Townsend Park Closed Pending Investigation

by Hazel Motes (El Asilo Gazette)

The body of El Asilo park ranger Sidney Messenger was found on the wooded trails of Townsend Park late Wednesday night, by fellow ranger Kay Webster. Webster, an acquaintance of Messenger’s, had been covering his shift after he had failed to show up for work that day. They were investigating a reported disturbance on the trails near a local residential area when they found Messenger’s body, slightly off the main path. Messenger was seated and leaned up against a tree, both of his carotid arteries slashed, according to the report released by the EAPD.

“The trail backs right up on the neighborhood, and you can pretty much see through to the trail from some of the backyards,” Webster explained, in a statement to the press this morning. “A couple families in the neighborhood said they thought they heard someone walking around after hours, and I was on call, so I went to check it out. I didn’t see anyone on my way to where I found Sid, and no one on my way back. Whoever did all this was long gone by the time I got there.”

A representative from the El Asilo Parks and Recreation Department announced, after Webster’s statement this morning, that Townsend Park would be closed for at least the remainder of the week while the police investigation commences. Homicide detective Kip Coyne, EAPD, was also present to corroborate this announcement. “At this time,” he said, “the incident has not been linked to any killer currently at large in El Asilo, nor have any suspects been named.”

Expect more reports as this story develops.

(HAZEL MOTES is a recent transplant to El Asilo, an aspiring poet, and the Gazette’s newest staff member. In his downtime, he enjoys a good murder mystery and the occasional Virginia Slim.)

[theelasilonews]

Fairfax Media Heir Found Dead at Charity Gala; Suspect at Large

by Lydia Spry (via the El Asilo Times)

Guests at Reid Fairfax’s charity gala on the night of February 27th received a nasty shock when their host was found with a heavy knife wound to the throat. Moira Capulet, his first cousin and close personal friend, was the one to discover the body, and swiftly called the authorities. Unfortunately, the swift efforts of emergency medical services were not enough to save Fairfax’s life, and he was pronounced dead on arrival at Winters Memorial Hospital.

Fairfax, at 23, was heir apparent to his grandfather Leopold Fairfax’s vast media empire. With his death, the line of succession is “uncertain,” according to a source close to the family, but it is likely that Capulet stands to inherit. Despite this fortuitous turn of events, Capulet shows little joy at her cousin’s demise.

“I miss my cousin more than I could possibly convey,” said a veiled and visibly distraught Capulet to press this morning. “Already, it feels like there’s a gaping hole in all our lives. I know he wouldn’t want me to go wailing and carrying on, but...it’s hard. It’s just hard.”

According to a source within the estate, Fairfax was last seen with a “small, blonde man with freckles” in the lounge where his body was found. Shortly before his death, he ordered two glasses of wine, both of which had only a few sips taken out of them when the body was found.

“We assure the citizens of El Asilo that everything possible is being done to catch the culprit in this case,” said Detective Mina Schneider, who has been assigned to the case as of this evening. “Rest assured; we are taking this very seriously.”

Right now, it appears answers are few and far between, but one thing is clear: Reid Fairfax was murdered, and his killer is still at large.

(LYDIA SPRY is a self-described workaholic. She enjoys espresso, and pulls the occasional all-nighter. She has been writing for the El Asilo Times for ten years.)

[theelasilonews]

Vantage's New Livestreaming App: How Safe is it, Really?

by Hazel Motes (via the El Asilo Gazette)

This past weekend, an online press release from Vantage Corp announced VStream, a livestreaming app set for release as part of Vantage's partnership with app development company SterlingTech. VStream will be released in conjunction with the VPhone 10's launch in April, but may also be synced with the VPhone 8 or 9, or other VIRA-equipped Vantage products such as the Vantage Smart Glasses and the VHome. VStream will also be made available for download on Looking Glass phones, and Vantage has reported looking into partnerships with other mobile phone and technology providers.

So, what does VStream actually do? It enables the user to produce a live feed of their own life, letting viewers in on anything from watching them run errands to their own low-budget talk show. Users can create public or private streams, and turn them on and off at will, much like any generic livestreaming app. Streams can be saved and archived once they end, or deleted by their host. On the viewers' end of things, VStream's sophisticated algorithm will be able to choose randomized shows for them based on their known preferences.

"We see the potential not only to help ordinary citizens become virtual celebrities," Vantage said in their press release, "but the potential to show those outside of El Asilo see how the city is thriving." Indeed, Vantage seems to be putting their money where their mouth is, outfitting the phones of El Asilo's social elite with early downloads of VStream, and encouraging them to share more of themselves with the general public.

"I think it's just a darling idea," said socialite Orianthe Bathory, when spotted at SterlingTech this morning, having the app explained to them by eager developers. "I do love talking to people face to face more than I like blogging at them. I can't say how many people will actually watch me, you know, but I'll certainly give it a try."

But how safe is VStream, an app that not only gives Vantage Corp access to any footage its users take, but can access a live feed from their camera? The Gazette reached out to Laurent Moss, Vantage's Director of Cybersecurity, for comment. He admitted, on the record, that plenty of other publications had reached out with similar concerns, but said that he was happy to give the people of El Asilo peace of mind where he could.

"VStream is as safe as any other livestreaming app out there on the market," Moss said. "Sure, it uses your camera, but you have to allow it that access. You can always turn it off, or put a piece of tape over your camera if you're paranoid about it. Plenty of people do."

Looking further into the VStream app's functions, something becomes apparent that was not addressed in Vantage's initial press release. Videos deleted on the app are kept in an archive on Vantage's servers for up to a week afterwards, unless users manually navigate to a hard-to-find menu, and delete them permanently. Director Moss seemed surprised when asked about this, but seemed to have an explanation at the ready.

"Sometimes a user will accidentally delete something with the slip of a thumb, or realize they wanted a clip for their archives later," he explained. "We want to give them the ability to fish those up again, just in case. Plenty of phones do that - store your deleted pictures somewhere, for a limited amount of time. It's just a play on that sort of thing."

Director Moss also went on to say that Vantage hopes to eventually use VStream in collaboration with the EAPD, to increase city security. He stated that it may replace many of the red light cameras and other security cameras currently positioned on the streets of El Asilo, to provide a live feed of traffic and street activity, and surveillance to catch criminals. When asked if Vantage's definition of "criminals" included heroes and vigilantes, Moss declined to comment further.

The VPhone 10 and the VStream app will both be released in April. Until then, you can watch the streams of those with the limited release version of the app at vstreamnetwork.com.

(HAZEL MOTES is a recent transplant to El Asilo, an aspiring poet, and the Gazette’s newest staff member. In his downtime, he enjoys a good murder mystery and the occasional Virginia Slim.)

[theelasilonews]

Strange Circumstances Leave One Dead in Smart Home-Related Disaster

By Viola Lee (via the El Asilo Gazette)

((CW: Death by boiling, ominous nonsense))

At 9:30 PM on the night of January 23rd, 2018, El Asilo local Gabrielle Mendez noticed the smell of meat cooking from her next door neighbor's townhouse in the Point. It was not until a half-hour later that it occurred to her that said neighbor, Vantage Corp technology middle-manager Grant Eagan, was a strict raw vegan, one who lived alone and rarely entertained guests.

After calling Eagan and ringing his doorbell both received no response, Mendez went out on a limb and called 911. When police arrived on the scene, what they found was no Sunday banquet. Instead, they discovered the truth: that Grant Eagan had been dead for hours, having boiled to death in his own bathtub. His doors had been locked and there were no signs of forcible entry to the building.

So, how did this happen?

The answer, it turns out, is unclear. Eagan's home had been long outfitted with Vantage Corp's proprietary smart home system, the VHome. Powered by the VIRA personal assistant program, the VHome system controls main functions of a house, including lights, climate control, door locks, media systems, and most importantly: water temperature. The problem? Vantage Corp has long claimed that a malfunction of this type is technically impossible.

"Vantage Corp stands by its statements concerning the safety and security of the VHome system," said Jasper Rowland, head of the VIRA project at Vantage, in a press conference on Wednesday. "Hard-coded into the system is a block preventing water temperatures from reaching a level harmful to human life. In no way is the safety of any consumers in danger. To repeat our earlier statement: it is physically impossible that this tragedy is a malfunction on our end."

When pressed on what, exactly, could have caused the incident if not a malfunction, Rowland's mood took a turn for the nervous.

"Well, we obviously can't comment on any ongoing investigations by the police," Rowland continued, visibly rattled, "but we can tell you that we're taking the possibility that this was an external attack on our system very seriously."

He then continued by offering condolences to Eagan's loved ones and prematurely ending the press conference.

Despite Vantage's prompt response, local technology experts have expressed concerns about their seeming lack of control over their product. Kait Mystery, established El Asilo tech blogger, in particular has voiced her reservations.

"At the VERY least," Mystery posted on her blog Wednesday night, "this incident has demonstrated that Vantage has a glaring and irresponsible hole in the security of their smart home systems. And at the worst? This whole thing SMACKS of a cover-up."

For now, reliable information is too scarce to jump to any rash conclusions. But, in the words of Kait Mystery:

"Something here stinks, and it ain't the meat."

(VIOLA LEE is a pseudonym. Her true purpose is sinister.)

[theelasilonews]

Vantage Sweepstakes: Enter to Win A Brand New VPhone 10!

Need an upgrade? Want to change providers? Just curious as to what the VPhone 10 has to offer? Enter now, and you could be one of the VERY FIRST to receive a new VPhone 10 when they hit the shelves in April! All you’ve gotta do is fill out one easy form!

[theelasilonews]

New Year, New Chances: The Supergenius Rehabilitation Program

by Cordelia Ackerman (via The El Asilo Times)

Only one week into the new year, and the Vantage Corporation has already unveiled its first exciting new initiative of 2018. 

In a press conference this morning, Mayor (and Vantage Chairman) Preston Winters announced the Supergenius Rehabilitation Program, a new initiative designed to benefit any currently incarcerated citizens in Vantage Penitentiary whose powers could classify them as a "supergenius". The mayor went on to explain that this classification includes - but is not limited to - Penitentiary prisoners with hyper-competence in any field, prisoners with advanced deductive reasoning powers, prisoners with data manipulation or tactical analysis powers, and prisoners with intuitive aptitude or intuitive replication powers. The classification "supergenius" may also be applied to prisoners with no powers whatsoever, provided they undergo testing to gauge their IQ and deductive reasoning skills, among other things the mayor did not specify.

"We know that these citizens have more to offer El Asilo than outlandish criminal exploits - and, quite frankly, their intelligence is being wasted behind bars," Mayor Winters said, in his statement to the press. "The Supergenius Rehabilitation Program will enable them to put their brain power to use in a constructive way, one that doesn't involve breaking free of their cells and constructing new gadgets to wreak havoc on the city. Instead, these supergeniuses will be aiding Vantage Corp in programming, weapons development, and - most importantly - finding gaps in our security and cybersecurity that we feel are worth patching up. We at Vantage feel that it's important to think like a villain or terrorist in order to catch a villain or terrorist, and we couldn't think of anyone better to help us strengthen the safety of El Asilo."

"I think it's just great, what they're doing," said Katy Crowe, sister of Kit Crowe, alias Blackbird, a hacker who was arrested for dumping blueprints of Vantage's experimental weapons online back in 2015. "I've been so worried about Kit, in jail with all those supervillains who could just snap them in half. I guess some of the other geniuses or whatever aren't great people, but at least Vantage is letting them have a second chance, you know? They're all just hackers and scientists, it isn't like they're going to go and level a city block or whatever."

In a statement following Mayor Winters's (and rare public appearance), Vantage Vice President Minh Nguyen confirmed that the participants in the Supergenius Rehabilitation Program will be granted access to Vantage housing, as well as Vantage's headquarters, including their laboratories. When this reporter expressed gentle doubt at the notion of Vantage Corp allowing former supervillains into their headquarters, Vice President Nguyen assured the crowd that the program participants will all be fitted with tracker anklets, and essentially placed under twenty-four hour surveillance. Hopefully this due diligence by Vantage Corp is enough to assuage any misgivings anyone may have about their program. One can only hope, as well, that the Supergenius Rehabilitation Program finds success, and not a coalition of inhumanly smart supervillains standing in the smoking rubble of what was once Vantage Corp.

(CORDELIA ACKERMAN has been reporting for the Times for two years, is originally from Maine, and wishes it snowed more in El Asilo.)

[theelasilonews]

EAFA’s Mass Kidnapping

By Cedric Grayson (El Asilo Gazette) 

Many of El Asilo Universty of Fine Art’s students were rescued today in the wake of Angelo Fermata’s murder.  Online tips pointed police to his basement, where students (and body parts) were being held in state of suspended animation thanks to Fermata’s powers.  These students have all been reported missing over the course of several years, and are currently receiving treatment at Preston Winters Memorial Hospital for their physical and psychological injuries. 

Evidence and testimony from students reveals that Fermata was actually an art forger, taking in young, down on their luck students and luring them back to his basement by telling them they were destined for greatness - and then either freezing them with his powers or putting them to work indefinitely. 

EAFA has reason to celebrate today with many of their students returned to their families.  One student in particular - Jude Baer - was first on the scene to help rescue her classmates - seriously injuring herself to do so - and she had this to say about Fermata:

“We knew he [Fermata] had something to do with the missing students, we just never had any proof.  He was probably the worst person I’ve ever met, and y’know, in El Asilo that’s saying something.  I’m glad he’s gone.”  

Fermata’s home has been quarantined by the police as they catalog evidence.  A list of the rescued students is available on the EAFA and EAPD websites, and will be updated as more information is found. 

[theelasilonews]

Visit Original Link

Excerpt from political opinion podcast The Domecast.

Finally reuploaded this file from our old site! Sorry about the wait, news junkies!

-Mod Rose

((featuring Cain as Mikala Mitchell, Fox as Caliban Hendrix, and Cal as Lark Laird))

[theelasilonews]

Anthen Reiter Hospitalized, Father Says

By Sasha Moulton (El Asilo Gazette)

Kaiden Reiter, CEO of Initech, released a statement this morning regarding the current health of his son, Anthen. Mr. Reiter announced that Anthen’s lifelong battle with congenital heart disease has resurfaced and that Anthen will be under heavy medical supervision until further notice.

Before the announcement, fans noted on Anthen’s lack of interaction on his social media accounts. Mr. Reiter assured that Anthen is going to recover, but hasn’t been feeling up to socializing since the situation began. All further updates on Anthen’s health will be provided by his publicist.

Anthen was previously hospitalized for heart issues three years ago, resulting in a similar social media black out. He returned in good health and spirits following a few months of rehabilitation.

There are currently no reports which hospital has taken in Anthen Reiter or if he is recovering with a private medical team at home.

[theelasilonews]

CROSSBOW SHOOTER REMAINS AT LARGE AS POLICE STAND BY

By Viola Lee (via the El Asilo Gazette)

On August 30th, 2017, noted hero Star Sentinel is shot with two crossbow bolts- one through the shoulder, another in the side. He survives, living to tell the tale. On September 10th, Lady Aurum is not so lucky. A B-list villain with a focus on burglary, she is sent to the hospital with a crossbow bolt inches from her gut, and apprehended by police.

On September 22nd, Cedric Grayson, staff writer for this very publication, is shot in an attempt to reach the culprit for comment. And suddenly, what was once just a story becomes very, very personal.

Sentinel, Aurum, and Grayson were hardly the first or only people to fall victim to the masked hunter who seems to call himself "Orion." Morgue records and whispered testimonials paint a dark swath of red across the past few months. The targets are diverse: heroes, villains, even some ordinary citizens. The only unifying trait is that they all share in El Asilo's limelight. Those who survive remember their attacker only in flashes and fuzzy memories. Those who don't can no longer tell us what they saw.

What remains constant across testimonials, however, paints a vague picture of the newest threat to stalk El Asilo's shadowed backstreets and alleyways. Orion is, most likely, male. His costume glows green, with a large triangle as its focal point, and a large pair of antlers. He carries a crossbow, and a small array of weapons. His infamous crossbow is spring-mounted to his wrist.

"He's a d*ck," said Robyn Hood, fellow archer and friend of one of Orion's victims. "You know it, I know it, every other cape - hero or villain - knows it.  The guy'll shoot anybody he wants, and anybody who gets in the way of him shooting who he wants.  If you see a cape  with bright neon green lights instead of a mask, just shoot first and ask questions later.  Unless I beat you to it, or someone else."

Hood's opinion is hardly an uncommon one. The general advice passed around heroic circles seems to be "stay away or take him down." But surely, if this villain is so prolific, so vicious, then it's most advisable to stand back and let law enforcement handle the situation?

"Rest assured that the El Asilo Police Department takes every complaint seriously, and is pursuing your tip at its next available opportunity," wrote the office of the Chief of Police, in a form letter response to my emails regarding this article. Further attempts to reach her for direct comment were resoundingly unsuccessful.

As such, the city once again finds itself facing a deadly threat without so much as a kind word of support from El Asilo's Finest. Be forewarned, though, that Orion's attacks have not and will not be limited to capes. Anyone who faces public scrutiny is a target. Any voice too loud, any presence too tall. We are all at risk.

"A lot of the time, when you're in a situation where the police won't do anything," Star Sentinel said, when asked for comment, "you'll find brave people who'll do the job for them. And that's just kinda how it has to be." (VIOLA LEE is a pseudonym. Her true purpose is sinister.)

[theelasilonews]

Afraid to be a Hero

By Riley Perkins (El Asilo Gazette)

     This past week the case trial of Giles Vann, has come to a close. On August 6, 2014, Vann was arrested in suspicion of being a masked hero known as Ferrocity. The case had brought on much criticism of El Asilo’s treatment of heroes and vigilantes. It stirred up contempt against the laws prohibiting people taking their own action, especially considering the EAPD supposedly does little to stop the crime that these people are attempting to combat. Vann’s case rallied the support of many activist groups across the city, and though it had died down as time past, that support may have just helped in reaching a favorable verdict.

     Police believed Vann was Ferrocity mostly do to Vann’s collection of superhero action figures and comic books. While such paraphernalia is illegal in El Asilo, it was considered circumstantial evidence. Any hard evidence against Vann, however, was found to be contaminated. Due to this, while Vann was served the fines for possessing illegal items, all charges for heroism were dropped.

     “It’s wild to think that I had to spend the last few years of my life terrified of the outcome,” Vann told reporters after the hearing was over. “Like, they were trying to do whatever they could to call me a hero, and I hoped to god they wouldn’t. It’s wild.”

     As of September 29, 2017, Giles Vann has finally been able to put the past three years behind him and continue his life. He says he will be returning to his position as an editor for the Gazette as well as picking back up some of his old hobbies in an attempt to move past this.

[theelasilonews]

Weekly Arts Feature: Hazel Motes

The following are excerpts from “It’s Nice, But You Wouldn’t Want To Live There”, Hazel Motes’s recently published chapbook of poems written during his five months (so far) in El Asilo. The views and opinions expressed in this piece are those of the author’s, and do not necessarily reflect those of the El Asilo Gazette.

I. May - Condolences

“Why?” “Oh, do you have family there?” “I’m so sorry.” “Where is that?” “You’re really just gonna  throw your life away to go there?” “Who died?” “You’re joking, right? Isn’t that  the place with the force field?” “Do you have a job lined up there?” “So when can I come visit?” “Let me know if you need anything from  the outside world.” “I don’t get it.” “What about your apartment here?” “Oh, I hear California is nice this time of year.” “Is this some kind of midlife crisis thing?  You’re too young for that.” “I’ve got a friend in El Asilo. It’s nice, but  you wouldn’t want to live there.” “What if you want to leave?” “You know you won’t be able to leave, right?” “I don’t care how bad things are, Haze.  Please don’t decide to be a hero  once you get there.” “Don’t get killed, okay?” “Just remember to carry pepper spray.” “Don’t step to any supervillains.” “Don’t die.” “Don’t die.” “Don’t die.”

II. June - In Transit

three people in a monorail car - me, a man, a woman - and the other two are standing as though the train is full of commuters who will not be here for another two or four hours, at least. they carry the things in their hands like improvised weapons. his: a baseball bat, hers: a golf club. i think of countless movies in which a monorail is destroyed, or run off the rails. i wonder why the monorail in this city is still standing. the man and the woman are in street clothes. neither wears a mask. i can see pink in their cheeks, the man’s glasses fogged, the woman’s chest rising and falling as though she has just climbed a hill - and nothing more strenuous than that.

i look out the window at their reflections, superimposed on el asilo, the point lit up and twinkling, an amusement park full of tired children and overworked men in tight uniforms selling toys to be used once and never again. there is a red stain on the woman’s golf club and i wonder if it is blood or rust before i can help myself.

III. July - Stain

twelve days out from the fourth of july and the neighborhood kids are still setting off fireworks on the street at night. i can see it from my window - flashes of red and blue raining down from the force field like a meteor shower, like stardust dripping down from the sky.

somewhere across town a patient creature pays a visit, admires the stain of blood on blond hair, tries the medium of messages in scrapes and bruises instead of their usual - grid paper, blue pen.

every envelope i open lately, i do so with my heart in my throat, expecting to one day see that grid, that spidery scrawl of letters - the words “it’s me. hello, mr. motes.”

IV. August - Ectoplasm

I am a ghost, and no, not in the metaphorical sense that a poet might use to describe some great void inside them, some lack of closure, some displacement between the place in which he was raised and the place in which he now finds himself. I am a real ghost, I explain to my editor over the phone, in the voice of my possessed housemate. Calling in sick has gotten more complicated since the move.

(HAZEL MOTES is a recent transplant to El Asilo, an aspiring poet, and the Gazette’s newest staff member. In his downtime, he enjoys a good murder mystery and the occasional Virginia Slim.)