Ironically Jesus

Welcome to my twisted snind (snail mind). If you ship reylo get off my blog. Genderfluid. They/them or she/her.

[slushi]

BITCH WE OUT HERE TAKIN OUR

M E D S

AND DRINKIN THAT UHHHH

W A T E R

Still havent showered but bitch

WE’LL GET THERE

[thehighpriestessofcuddles]

[sandshrew13]

God I hope this is true.

Oh my god it is.

[arineat-deactivated20150817]

OMFG

[airframeextender]

i dropped my monster space condom for my magnum astro dong

[tastefullyoffensive]

When you realize the human is trying to bathe you. (via tintin45450721)

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

“WAIT A MINUTE….”

[mediamattersforamerica]

A must-watch: MSNBC’s Stephanie Ruhle reminds everyone of the known sexual assault accusations against Donald Trump, one by one, in detail.

[princeowl-deactivated20150410]

why would you ever idolize cops when firefighters exist

[teabrittle-deactivated20150124]

yeah seriously have you ever heard of “corrupt firefighter” 

[princeowl-deactivated20150410]

what would a ‘corrupt firefighter’ even be. he put out that fire with a little TOO much water. he was a little rough with the cat he rescued from a tree for a little old lady

[fridadali]

[straight-as-a-curly-fry]

how on earth do you possibly fuck up that bad

[meanplastic]

My girl Melanie came thru for us.

[forestwonders-deactivated202602]

Nordic Food Tales

[daddy-doms-are-gross]

we all know capitalism is fucking evil but one of my favorite stories to tell from Retail Hell is that time my district manager got annoyed that 2 poor people were taking food out of the dumpster occasionally so he told us all to start pouring bleach over all the items we threw out so people couldn’t use them/it would hurt them if they touched it directly. never did that and absolutely have participated in “employee theft” by stealing bags of food from the dumpsters to donate to the local food bank but like. he really did just want us to directly harm people over food that was already in the literal trash.

[daddy-doms-are-gross]

when managers and CEOs get up in arms about “employee theft” they’re actually talking about people like me who don’t throw out the 30 pairs of shoes that we weren’t able to sell and instead bag them up and throw them behind the dumpster for retrieval/donation later. I once took home $450 of food and another night got $500 worth of makeup. Perfectly good electronics get thrown away bc the packaging was tampered with. We throw away food, cosmetics, and household products 30-60 days before their expiration dates (which are also kinda bullshit anyway). The whole retail model is structured around this idea of massive waste. 

[clodiuspulcher]

all my teachers in high school: college will be INFINITELY harder than high school, they will show you NO mercy my professor for my senior-level immunology class: 

[hentired]

Bada bing

[aorticarchnemesis]

Babadook

[rosedosed]

[positivity-roses]

This blog will be safe on Halloween

This blog will NOT post:

- Screamers 

- Gore

- Blood 

- Purposefully triggering content 

Reblog if your blog will be safe on Halloween

[ad-dea]

[places water bottle on altar to represent the water element]

witchcraft.

[thebootydiaries]

choose your fighter

[lloydthevoid]

I need to see some size reference

[thebootydiaries]

small

[this-isnt-my-bra]

Once my friend Henry was accused of wearing wireless headphones by a substitute so she said for him to hand them over so he took them off and handed them to her. Then later on she asked him a question and he didn’t respond so she said it louder and he still didn’t respond. She asked why he was not responding and he said “I can’t understand you ma'am, you took my hearing aids.”

[lolodapsycho-deactivated2017030]

HOLY SHIT

[mamoru]

one time we had a sub that was handing back papers and called my name. I asked if someone could grab it for me and she started mocking me for not even standing up. taunting me asking why I was not walking up to the front to get the paper myself.

my classmates went dead silent and after the sub’s laughter ended someone informed her that the wheelchair parked nearby belonged to me

[silver-rayn123-deactivated20181]

I had a sub in English once, on presentation day. And everyone goes up and does their thing, and then its my turn. The whole time im stuttering and mixing up my words, having to stop and re-say my sentences. The rest of the class is used to this and claps. However, by the time its over, the teacher is 100% done.

Starts saying horrible thing about how im going to have to get over my ‘fear of public speaking’ and how she’s heard 8 year olds give better presentations (plus worse things but I don’t really member them). By then im in tears and on the brink of a panic attack, and then she starts telling me off for crying The rest of the class is horrified. Then this boy stands up. He never been my friend and we never really got along, but he’d never bullied me. He told her in a pissed off, cold voice that in freshmen year I got a concussion and that I never really recovered from it, so all that was medical related and I couldn’t help it. Then he starts telling her off and the rest of the class joins him.   The teacher is mortified and tries to cover her ass, but the whole class walked out and that boy took me by the shoulders and we all walked to the principles office and told him what had happened. Lets just say she isn’t teaching anymore. Also, turns out that boy had a sister like me, who couldn’t really speak. We’ve been best friends for 8 years and i’ll be his best woman at his wedding next year.  The moral is that Teachers, even subs, and adults shouldn’t scold kids before knowing the whole story, because shit like that can fuck up kids self-esteem for the rest of their life. 

[blackwatergypsy]

I need a new tattoo, an orgasm, and a good nights sleep.

[secret-knight]

An earthquake of 7.1 just happened a couple hours ago in Mexico City and other states like Puebla, Morelos and Quéretaro. Many buildings collapsed trapping people inside. Also it seems there have been gas explosions too.

Just in the same day of the 32th anniversary of the Earthquake that left Mexico City in ruins.

Edit* At 4:44 pm at least 47 people have died…

Edit* 79 people died so far…

[ultimonombre]

There’s more than 120 dead in 6 states so far. Around 27 buildings in Mexico City have been damaged, some of them were schools that completely collpased with children inside.

[funniest-stuff]

Great lesson in empathy, you never know what someone is going through.

[twodotsknowwhy]

“And I put on weight. Big f–ing deal” is gonna be my new mantra

[drethelin]

Wentworth Miller is really good