[tatumsdrawing]

I think I’m done!!

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[teathattast]

[dogwithpants]

That’s this

[teathattast]

Goes to show how little I know

[evilvillain123456789]

The really crazy part is the Twitter post is the original and the tumblr post is the one that's plagiarized

[teathattast]

Net zero info ass post

[cats2019forthenintendoswitch]

We literally can see in both the screenshots that the tumblr post was posted first (also evilvillain123456789 lies recreationally, constantly) why are y'all so bad at fact-checking literally anything

[evilvillain123456789]

Stop

[modernmusess]

katniss: everyone’s so focused on protecting peeta because they too know how pure hearted he is and believe that he—a boy they’ve never even met before—deserves to survive over them and their friends of literal decades

finnick, to literally everyone else: okay if peeta dies she’s gonna kill all of us and then herself, so hands in, protect bread boy on three-

[ozempicofficial]

[ellynneversweet]

Darcy’s introduction in Pride and Prejudice is really ‘what if you had just had the worst month of your life because your ex-bestie tried to lover boy scam your baby sister out of her share of your dad’s life insurance and your friend dragged you to a shitty party in a dive bar in the neighbourhood where he’d just signed a short term lease, and you decided to let your bad mood show because you were never going to see any of the assholes in this stupid shitty bar EVER again. And your friend ended up making out with a girl he’d just met there while you were stuck talking to her sister who was less cute and then her mother appeared and started trying to matchmake and started saying how if she was twenty years younger she’d clime you like a redwood and ooooh is that a black Amex, guess the next round is on you hahhahahahaha, while her other sister (how many fucking sisters does she have?!) flashed an obviously fake ID at the bar and ordered six vodka-diet red bulls and no one in her family except the less-cute sister even tried to stop her. And you went home and consoled yourself that you would never see any of these people again but then you met them over and over again because they live next door and your friend and the cute sister keep meeting up to make out but not actually date and then. You fall in love with the less-cute sister because it turns out she’s really witty and charismatic but she already knows and remembers and resents the fact that on a day when you were in a shitty mood you called her mid out loud in a dive bar.’

[retrodynamics]

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

[romanceyourdemons]

guy currently hurtling toward a migraine at a rate that would impress most astrophysicists: i wonder wgat is happening in my beautiful telephone

[oneheadtoanother]

[onlytiktoks]

[aniseandspearmint]

Asdfghjkl her perfectly straight face and even tone throughout should win an AWARD

[amuseoffyre]

One of my favourite photos from my trip to Warsaw in 2006

[idiosyncatsy]

really underrated part of the LotR films is when gollum gets exposition lines. like can you imagine? you're travelling with the most fucked-up evil little murder greyhound creature imaginable and he lives in a cave and doesn't know about potatoes but from time to time you have to ask him about local geopolitics. and he answers you

[weenie-kun]

We sharing anaesthetic stories?? I had to have dental surgery when i was in middle school.

According to my mom and sister the very first thing i did upon waking up was BOLT upright and proceed to try and shove my ENTIRE fist in my mouth as fast as possible.

I had to be physically stopped, and i proceeded to sob my eyes out for the next 20 minutes. Somehow, i didnt damage anything 🤣

sorry that imagery is so vivid i just..

?????LOL

[oleskyfm]

(voice of someone about to turn 30) it’s nice making friends. It’s nice to play together and have fun. It’s nice to hang out

[one-time-i-dreamt]

(voice of someone turning 32 this year) it’s nice having playdates with your friends

[dogpuppy]

[noknowshame]

resurrected dead wife watching her own montage: wow I looked so hot in that

[cronenburger]

[bbcwhereareyou]

(x)