At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.
Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.
The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"
I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.
Our flight is delayed.
He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.
I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".
Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.
Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.
The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.
He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.
"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."
"OR ELSE WHAT?"
"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"
"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"
"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"
"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"
"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"
*hangs up phone*
*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*
The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.
"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"
1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.
2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.
3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.
"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say
"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."
"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.
4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.
"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.
"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"
"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"
"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."
"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."
"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"
"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.
"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.
1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.
2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.
3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.
4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.
5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.
Ok so the Wifi wasn't working on the plane (also like, nonstop turbulence) and also they got seated in a different row from me, but:
Now that I've heard the word aloud, and they are an astrophysicist. Who correctly believes in being comfy as fuck on planes. They are also familar with the concept of a meet-cute and is rooting for them too.
Got to walk the nice lady and her Tactical Assault Shiba to her next gate because it was on the way out and talk for a bit. Donut is called that not because he is the color of a Donut (which he is) but because he likes to sleep curled up in a perfect circle. He has a sister who does the same thing named Bagel.
Lost track of Pinot and Cheeseguy for a bit but when I saw them again at Baggage claim, Cheeseguy was holding both their jackets, and Pinot was on the phone to his hotel about "Well do you have any rooms with TWO beds?". The rest of the call indicated that yes, there were rooms with two beds, but Readers, I Had A Moment.
:)
Anyway, it's 2AM, I need to sleep, if you feel like supporting this kind of hard-hitting reporting, I have a Tip Jar!
Neil through Wymackās POV must have been insane.
Listen Wymack is used to problematic kids, kids who argue and refuse to be helped and fight you every step of the way. But Neil isnāt that. As far as Wymack knows anyway.
Neil is just a kid with heavy handed parents. Neil is just a kid on his own. Neil is just a kid who flinches when Wymack calls him an idiot a bit too loudly.
But heās the kid that says āYes Coachā and looks like Wymack put stars on the sky just for him any time he does smth mildly kind. and Neil is the kid that got drugged and assaulted and still the next morning chose to hitchhike back from Columbia, because he didnāt wanna annoy Coach on a weekend, and doesnāt seem at all affected.
Heās troubled, sure, but not like so many of the foxes are where they fight Wymack tooth and nail constantly. Neil isnt feisty. Except he is.
Because suddenly this is the kid that speaks German and told nobody. AND french??? This is the only person Andrew listens to?
And suddenly heās calling Riko Moriyama a fucking piece of shit to his face, and suddenly heās spending two weeks in The Nest without warning anyone and he survives it, and suddenly his hair and eyes were all a lie? and now Riko marked him for the perfect court??
And somehow surviving The Ravens just makes Neil talk more shit, now publicly and repeatedly, about Riko?! and suddenly he is SO feisty he is the person Kevin looks up to?? and suddenly he gets kidnapped and oh my fucking god heās the son of a SERIAL KILLER CALED THE BUTCHER???? WHAT IS GOING ON WITH THIS KID
Wymack gave no fucks about Andreil happening bc he was too busy trying to understand who the fuck he recruited and how severely he underestimated Neil
the incredible harsh quiet revelation that you have when you are diagnosed with chronic illness(es) is that you will never be healthy again.
I don't think able bodied people are able to understand what it means to just resign to the fact that your life is not just yours anymore. you share it with a weight that will be with you until you are gone from this world.
Thinking about how often Jean quotes Neil to himself to feel safe. Thinking about Jean saying to Jeremy you donāt have to trust him because I do. Thinking of how Nora said if Neil had been a raven when he was supposed to be he could have never left Jean alone even after Kevin did. Thinking about Neil and his āone of us has to survive this, and itās going to be himā mentality taking root and growing into everyone he cares about. Including Jean. Thinking about misplaced forever partners. Thinking about two kids who had no one but each other in every version of the story except for the one we got, so we see this fractured longing version instead and theyāre so much better off, but thereās something missing too.
i know thereās so much to cover in the third book and i have no idea how nora is gonna manage it but i hope she doesnāt rush it. i want every little detail. give me halloween. give me jeanās birthday party. give me pottery class. give me double motorcycle date. give me winter banquet and christmas. give me jean confronting his parents. give me jeremy leaving his family. give me jean removing his tattoo. give me rhemann & jean father-son moments. give me jean growing his peach tree. give me jeremy-neil interaction. give me jeremyās birthday. give me spring break. give me jeremy talking to joshua. give me trojans winning the championships. give me cat proposing to laila. give me jeremy changing his surname to moreau. GIVE MEEE
originally posted this to reddit, but wanted to do my part to contribute to the luciferian tag on here and see what others think.
intro (feel free to skip to list below if not interested): my own luciferian journey has been marred by the fact that i have severe obsessive-compulsive disorder, and am unable to do. basically ANYTHING spiritual without being overtaken by obsessive and all-consuming doubt and fear about everything from just being wrong to literally damning my soul to Hell (which, to be fair, i don't even particularly believe in at least in the typical culturally Christian way). seeing as theres not really any compulsions i can do to alleviate this anxiety ala handwashing or checking the lock on the front door, my main way of coping with this has been exposing myself to other's perspectives and experiences, and scouring as much historical information about the origins of Lucifer and the different cultural perspectives and characters that have contributed to His mythos. as a result of this, i've come out on the other side feeling a lot more reassured in not only my own beliefs but also a lot more open-minded in general spiritually. the fact of the matter is that not one of us will ever, ever have definitive proof of what we are experiencing or of what will happen to us or our souls after death, and i have learned to feel comfortable in that. i hope i can finally take steps to deepen my spiritual practice after this, now that my ocd has a lot less to latch onto.
so here we go, common aspects/facets/what have you of Lucifer as noted by my own experience and the experiences of others that i have read, and both some 'positive' and 'negative' domains/associations. i'll also have a section at the bottom dedicated to related separate figures commonly syncretized with or related to Lucifer that i didn't feel like reducing to facets, but please understand these are not meant as demonizations and are not meant to encourage taking these entities out of their cultural contexts.
Lucifer as lord of liberation and enlightenment: particularly derived from romantic readings of Lucifer post Paradise Lost, but i myself also find some evidence of this in the typical biblical telling of Lucifer's fall as refusing to follow an order which He felt demeaned Him and/or refusing to see Himself as lesser than God, as well as within the telling of the Serpent who gifts Eve with forbidden knowledge which frees humanity from the Garden. in this way, He becomes in my mind associated with both standing up to tyrannical rulers/institutions which seek to exert control over those they view as lesser and creating a distinct divide between greater and lesser, as well as a lord of the oppressed, the marginalized, the silenced. on the more "negative" side, He also comes to be associated with pride, unchecked ego, and a sense of self-importance which negatively impacts oneself and those around them and leads to isolation.
Lucifer-Eosphoros, celestial lord of stars: another common interpretation of Lucifer that i have seen. takes the lore of the greco-roman god Eosphoros and often seeks to reconcile it as the "true" independent origin of Lucifer as a figure within mythology. while i would argue against this, i can see why this happens as people want to point to a starting point both removed from Christianity and which they deem as authentic and similar enough to modern lore that it looks like an intentional bastardization. related to new beginnings (as the morning star rises above the horizon and guides the sun), enlightenment (literally, bringing the light of the new day), and stars. seen as a leader in His own right as Eosphoros was sometimes seen as the one who lead the Astra Planeta. frequently winged and common in manifestation to one of the Erotes, carrying a torch.
Lucifer-Eros-Phanes, manifesation of/emanation of the divine Source: an aspect i am particularly fond of as i find myself fascinated by Orphism, and the idea of gods/entities as emanations of the Source through which it can express different aspects of itself has informed a lot of my understanding of the universe. an emanation of the firstborn divine androgyne Eros-Phanes which carries the light of Their fire as a torch as a reminder of the light which They first shed upon the universe upon their birth from the cosmic egg, creating space within the primordial darkness and casting shadows from which all other things found definition and created their forms from darkness. equated with Eros as manifestation of divine procreation and desire; desire to exist, desire to create, desire for individualism and definition within the darkness. the one who inspires us to deepen our understanding of the universe and the depth of all things through association with Metis ('thought') who was consumed by them and passed to each Orphic king in succession, through which each king is driven to think, create, learn, and expand the universe as a macrocosm of the mind. winged figure standing as a manifestation of the World, entwined with a serpent, crowned in flames, cloven-hoofed. that which illuminates the darkness and things that have been hidden (whether you want to see them or not), strives to exist loudly, burning bright and driving creation forward against all else like an unstoppable freight engine.
Lucifer as divine punishment/justice: the figure of ha-Satan***** from which our common notion of Satan/the Devil who punishes sinner in Hell exists not as an independent agent of evil or chaos, but as an agent of the Source/God who punishes those who do evil, commit atrocities against others, blaspheme the heavenly and choose to remain ignorant to the divine Light/Knowledge/Doctrine/etc. even in tales of the folkloric Devil, we see those who wish for personal gain beyond what they could reasonably achieve/at the expense of others punished by this figure and left with nothing in the end, not even their souls. He who takes those who have refused to respect the divine Knowledge or have turned away from their fellow man/their own humanity and rebirths them through fire, which makes their souls clean and (hopefully) teaches lessons which they carry into their next incarnation. * i am not Jewish, and am more than open to being corrected on my knowledge of ha-Satan and their purpose within Jewish religious narrative. i am attempting to keep my description here brief both as a way of leaving room for error to be corrected, and as i do not want to assert authority over or make sweeping assumptions regarding a subject i know i could be wrong or better informed about.
Lucifer-Samyaza, lord of witches and the magical arts: the fallen lord of this world/earth, who falls in love with humanity and gifts unto them the knowledge of magic, of the herbal arts and of incantations. very alike (in my own mind) to the horned one as present within sects of Traditional Witchcraft. Samyaza is the leader of the Watcher angels in the Book of Enoch alongside Azazel, seen as a parallel to the figure of Lucifer as a fallen angel who gifts forbidden knowledge and is punished for it. i don't see a lot of recognition/talk of Samyaza within luciferian circles and i find that to be quite a shame, as i find Him such an enigmatic figure who very much fits this archetype of a folkloric devil who teaches us of and acts as a patron of the ways of witchery and initiates us into deeper knowledge of the universe.
Lucifer-Eros as lord of Venus: a syncretic appearance of Lucifer i have noticed that takes aspects of the greco-roman god Eros/Cupid. like the aforementioned Erote, acts as the manifestation of love and desire, sudden and powerful, but in more than just a romantic or sexual sense. this is the sensual, artistic Lucifer; the indulgent one who drives us to indulge in our vices, sometimes to a detrimental degree if we do not know how to discipline ourselves. patron of artists, hedonists, dreamers, lovers. the angel on your shoulder who sweet-talks you. representative of the typical aspects associated with Venus (the planet)
Lucifer-Attar, twin conterpart of Ishtar: the story of the biblical fall finds parallels within the story of Attar, who seeks to take the throne of Baal but finds Himself inadequate and so falls to become Lord of this Earth. Attar is seen as either a masculine twin or cultural equivalent to Inanna/Ishtar/Astarte, so in this form He takes on many of the qualities commonly ascribed to Ishtar - war, fertility, divine justice, and the like. but from the many different forms of Attar across neighboring cultures, we can find many different associations which see Him as holding very powerful domains: to the Armaeans He was called Attar of the Heavens, who fertilized the earth below with rain and held dominance over lightning, storms and moisture; similarly, the ancient peoples of South Arabia saw Him as a lord of rain and thunder while still holding providence over the planet Venus, and a hunter for whom ritual hunts were performed, with Him at one point perhaps even replacing the former supreme god of the pantheon; and to the kingdom of Aksum He held dominion over the sun and the moon, cementing Him as a deity with heavy cosmological influence.
Lucifer, draconic angel/peacock angel: another form of Lucifer which mixes elements of the biblical angel, the Red Dragon, and esoteric appearances of Lucifer within modern grimoires and strains of TradCraft. cannot be entirely separated from the Yazidi Melek-Taus, as their imagery and lore are incredibly similar, but i am personally against solidly equating the two or using the name Melek-Taus as the Yazidis have long faced persecution and genocide for what has been viewed as ādevil worshipā. whether they are syncretic figures able to be recognized across cultures is one thing, but using a distinctly cultural name is outside of my comfort zone just in an effort to remain respectful and not contribute to further demonization.
Lucifer, leader of demonized gods/possible fae king???: while iām still looking into this particular facet of Lucifer myself, i find a great similarity between Him and the figure of the Fae King from certain TradCraft circles. it is common knowledge that many (though not all) Goetic demons are either demonized versions of ancient pagan gods or at least take inspiration from them, and in the view of Lucifer as ruler of Hell He becomes either a leader of or at least the āfaceā of these demonized gods, in the same way that so many gods across different cultures only had their lore survive through equation with the Devil after Christianization. following this, as many land spirits, fae and other equivalents across many cultures were reduced to demons, so the god(s) who lead them were often equated to the Devil; we can see this in entities such as Gwyn ap Nudd, who becomes reduced to the Devil and whose court becomes all the demons of Hell who God traps within His form. add in the underworld associations of Lucifer along with the fact that some cultures viewed fae-like spirits as either equivalent to the souls of the dead OR their realms being equated to the Realm of the Dead under the Earth, and i think it touched on an interesting mask of Lucifer as leader of the fae, who lured those not wise or respectful into their trap, but can make a beneficial ally to the learned practitioner. Hell as a fae realm is certainly a weird, if intriguing way to think of it.
Noctifer/ the "dark Lucifer": finishing this off with the aspect of Lucifer that i am least familiar with, a dark and solemn figure who walks the line between life and death and lives in the shadow of the moon. He who is intimately familiar with death, night, terror and things hidden under cover of darkness. an angel of death not too unlike figures such as Azrael or Samael*. the black church grim walking the graveyard, the vulture by the side of the road, the psycopomp of lost souls.
and to end things off, a few figures that i have seen equated/associated with Lucifer in one way or another, whether i personally agree with them or not:
getting this out of the way first, Enki: i can completely see where one can draw this conclusion based on similarities between the devil as lord of magic, mischief, intelligence and as acting "in opposition" to a lord of light (Enlil). however, i think it very important that we as a community acknowledge that a lot of those who take fondness of this theory are either a part of or are inspired by JoS, and i think as torchbearers of illumination it is our duty to rid our circles of neo-Nazis and others who knowingly preach ignorance. then, and only then, do i think we can begin approaching this syncretism and discussing in without inadvertently feeding into doctrine written by antisemitic dickheads. luciferian circles have an awful problem with antisemitism, white nationalism and bigotry in general that i think needs to be urgently addressed by all of us. we could all stand to turn the mirror on ourselves and see what prejudices we are carrying, consciously and unconsciously.
Azazel: while i am inclined to view Azazel as a separate figure within a sort-of luciferian "pantheon" so-to-speak, He has been historically equated with Lucifer in the same way Beelzebub has as just an alternative name, and many people still see Him as another name or title of Lucifer within luciferian circles today.
Dionysos: having formerly been one of a Dionysian focus within my practice, i find the parallels between Dionysos and Lucifer to be incredibly intriguing and not nearly talked of enough, both as a god in His own right and through His Orphic association with Phanes. a lord of masks (deception), leader of cults (mostly consisting of women and other marginalized people) which reveled in blood, ecstatic ritual and trance; a horned god with underworld associations; lord of rebirth and patron of initiation into the mysteries. i could go on, but i also just think its really fun to research Dionysos as more than just "god of parties and wine" - He has so, so much more depth, both mythological and esoteric.
Samael*: seen as a punishing angel of death who acts through the will of the Source/God, frequently paired with Lilith, often equated with the Serpent and variously called a "satan". while i can see a lot of similarities between Samael and the Noctifer aspect, i once again am not Jewish and cannot speak authoritatively on the subject. while i have seen arguments of Samael's mention among the watchers within the Book of Enoch, i have yet to see any proof of this myself other than as a mistranslation/misspelling of one of the watchers names, so i'm going to err on the side of respect and say that i am personally not comfortable taking a culturally Jewish figure as a part of my practice.
Quetzalcoatl*: admittedly i am also not nearly educated enough to make sweeping assumptions about a figure from a culture i am unfamiliar with, but i felt inclined to include Him if for nothing else than that i have frequently seen the two compared. this is not at all meant as a demonization of Quetzalcoatl, but simply acknowledging that others have found similarities. i am more than open to critique by any pagans more knowledgeable on Mesoamerican mythology and culture, and do not mean to speak for them. i recommend r/Anahuac for some more educated voices.
Shamash/Utu: a new one i am looking into and am putting into as a footnote for anyone who may have more ideas. i believe i read of this syncretization in a Michael Howard book, but the gist of my understanding is the solar associations, being a twin of Ishtar and being intimately associated with Divine Justice.
Wymack took two teenagers who were so afraid of coaches and older men they flinched at his presence and loved them so hard they think of him as a father
imagine being jean, freshly out of a cult, got beaten to death, highly injured and traumatized, and out of nowhere your celebrity crush calls you on the phone. you immediately hang up on him. then he calls you again. this is your first interaction with the love of your life.
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