oh, be nice

Sprightly ~ gay ~ he/him ~ always chasing that serotonin ~ I love sunny summer days ~ I remember the 90s fondly ~ I dream of deserted places where echoey instrumental music plays on a neverending loop.

[smeared1992]

you used to be able to get a job just by circling a listing in a newspaper in red pen

[joeyclaire]

you are not an endearingly rude and unfriendly cartoon character you need to be nice to people

[flipocrite]

The Shirley Exception

[lostinhistory]

‘We genuinely have too many potatoes, I cannot stress enough’: 42,000 pounds of free taters headed to Denver

Twenty-one tons of potatoes are up for grabs at Potato Palooza on Monday.

The nonprofit’s set to receive a donation of 21 tons of tubers this weekend from suppliers in the Midwest. Hoping to get the starchy vegetables to people in need, the nonprofit will host a “Potato Palooza” event on Monday in Park Hill. “Anyone is welcome to come. They can bring tote bags, wagons, you could back up your pickup truck if you wanted to,” Hissong said. The event is 9 a.m. to noon at the Park Hill Food Recovery Hub, 6090 East 39th Avenue, on July 27.

This is the dream

[wobblefloss]

🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️

People near Denver, Colorado.

Potato alert. Potato alert.

Free food. Unlimited free potatoes.

Potato alert.

🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️ 🥔 ⚠️

This concludes this broadcast of the emergency potato system.

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

[historicity-was-already-taken]

(Yoinked this from LinkedIn, genuinely interested in seeing how responses align with demographics) (so far it’s those of us over 35 being indignant but I wanna see how those fully plays out) (it’s cultural and technological history/memory, bruh)

18

[bellisima-writes]

I am an old bitch - 20/20.

[subtextsays]

~~~

zero

1-4

5-8

9-12

13-16

17-19

It's me, Nobody (20)

Remaining time: 2 days 10 hours

[thorinds]

“You are changed, Thorin! The dwarf I met in Bag End would never have gone back on his word! Would never have doubted the loyalty of his kin!”

[narutwitter]

[dogpuppy]

[nineteenyearoldmeblog]

im fucking crying

[dogpuppy]

[pineberry-princess]

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[theglassfloor]

[furryprovocateur]

mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it

[furryprovocateur]

there is no acceptable explanation for this post being given a mature content warning outside of saying that you are an adult baby on the cyber nanny website!

[punkrock-bottom]

They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe

[hometoursandotherstuff]

[theglassfloor]

Nah, see, my steady diet of mac 'n' cheese, peanut butter sandwiches, frozen burritos, and pizza has me pretty much covered.

[fairyinthetrees]

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

[dragon-in-a-fez]

if you can't handle me at my worst then stop dragging me there fucker

[jame7t]

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

[jame7t]

not me though. im girl with tanktop

[duncebento]

love this site