THE GREATEST WIZARD OF ALL TIME!!

Merasmus rp blog idk

[thegreatmerasmus]

*pokes merasmus with the syringe that makes him want to tell everyone his gay thoughts*

“ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ?-“

“ʜᴍᴍ…ɪ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏꜱᴇ ʜᴀʟᴇ ɪꜱɴ’ᴛ ᴛᴏᴏ ʙᴀᴅ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ…”

[thegreatmerasmus]

chitter.. SCREEEEEE!

Oh, Yea the raccoons are VERY distressed about soldier, theyre clawing at the FUCJING FURNITURE AGAIN and keep pacing :( one of them—(more specifically, LT. bites) keeps nipping at merasmus' cloak and circling at his feet. Poor baby is worried :(

(Lmao deal wt ur children merasmus @soldiersfurredplatoon ))

Merasmus is panicking slightly, but realizes he’s a wizard, so there’s got to be some spell to calm them down. But wait! Soldier would NOT be happy with him if he used a spell! He then remembers that Raccoons love trash! So he just drags in a few trash cans so the raccoons mess with tjat instead of his precious furniture.

[thegreatmerasmus]

Uh, Merasmus?? Wizard??? I think our Soldier is dead-dead.

~ @a-tom-icscout

“ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴏɴ ᴇᴀʀᴛʜ?..ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ 32ɴᴅ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴍʏ ʜᴜꜱʙᴀɴᴅ ʜᴀꜱ ᴋɪʟʟᴇᴅ ʜɪᴍꜱᴇʟꜰ!…ɢɪᴠᴇ ᴍᴇ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ.”

[thegreatmerasmus]

...

[cultist stares at u]

(hiyao mod! :D)

@meet-the-blu-cultist

”….”

Merasmus stares back, puzzled.

[thegreatmerasmus]

Aero attempting to kiss Merasmus, but being to short.

@tf2aerothepilot987

“…ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀꜱᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.”

[tf2aerothepilot987]

No, no, I can handle it!! Hang on actually.

She leaves the room and returns with a step stool.

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴏʜ. ɪ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ.”

[tf2aerothepilot987]

Tada!

//literally aero rn

[thegreatmerasmus]

Aero attempting to kiss Merasmus, but being to short.

@tf2aerothepilot987

“…ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀꜱᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.”

[tf2aerothepilot987]

No, no, I can handle it!! Hang on actually.

She leaves the room and returns with a step stool.

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴏʜ. ɪ ꜱᴜᴘᴘᴏꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀʟꜱᴏ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱ.”

[thegreatmerasmus]

Aero attempting to kiss Merasmus, but being to short.

@tf2aerothepilot987

“…ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀꜱᴋ ᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ʟᴇᴀɴ ᴏᴠᴇʀ, ʏᴏᴜ ᴋɴᴏᴡ.”

[thegreatmerasmus]

”Well, you’re mighty fine, aintcha?” 😉

@saxt0n-hale

“ᴡʜᴀᴛ!!”

[thegreatmerasmus]

"Helo, you are zhe wizard spouse of Solly, ja?"

(( @avian-malpractice ))

“ʏᴇꜱ!! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"I am Dorian Ludvig, one of apparently many RED medics. Pleasure to meet you. Out of curiosity, how is zhe Soldier in his free time?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ…ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰɪᴇʟᴅ. ʜᴇ’ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ ᴊᴜᴍᴘ!! ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟɪɴɢ.”

[avian-malpractice]

[He tilted his head with an expression somewhere between amusement and sympathy. He stepped closer]

"Zhat is troubling. How old, may I ask?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴄʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ.”

[avian-malpractice]

"I see. Good grief how long vill it take to knock sense into zhat idiot. Good luck vith zhat. I'm glad my children are fully grown"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ɪ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʙʟᴏᴡɴ ᴜᴘ ʙʏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"Serves zhe idiot right. Zhat must have been frightening for you and Clover zhough. I assume he didn't learn his lesson?"

[He spread a wing to offer comfort but didn't step closer]

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ꜰʀɪɢʜᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʏᴇꜱ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ, ꜱʜᴇ ᴀʟᴍᴏꜱᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ɢɪᴅᴅʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ꜱʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴅᴏɴᴇ! ɪ ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢɪʀʟ ɪꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜᴘ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ…”

[avian-malpractice]

[He chuckled lowly and folded his wing against his back again]

"Oh you poor man. My office is usually open if you ever need a break. Alzhough I vill not promise less nudity zhan Solly. At least I have sensible reasons for it"

[He gestured vaguely at his feathers and wings]

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ɪ ꜱʜᴀʟʟ ᴄᴏɴꜱɪᴅᴇʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏꜰꜰᴇʀ!”

[thegreatmerasmus]

"Helo, you are zhe wizard spouse of Solly, ja?"

(( @avian-malpractice ))

“ʏᴇꜱ!! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"I am Dorian Ludvig, one of apparently many RED medics. Pleasure to meet you. Out of curiosity, how is zhe Soldier in his free time?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ…ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰɪᴇʟᴅ. ʜᴇ’ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ ᴊᴜᴍᴘ!! ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟɪɴɢ.”

[avian-malpractice]

[He tilted his head with an expression somewhere between amusement and sympathy. He stepped closer]

"Zhat is troubling. How old, may I ask?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴄʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ.”

[avian-malpractice]

"I see. Good grief how long vill it take to knock sense into zhat idiot. Good luck vith zhat. I'm glad my children are fully grown"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ɪ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʙʟᴏᴡɴ ᴜᴘ ʙʏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"Serves zhe idiot right. Zhat must have been frightening for you and Clover zhough. I assume he didn't learn his lesson?"

[He spread a wing to offer comfort but didn't step closer]

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ꜰʀɪɢʜᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ꜰᴏʀ ᴍᴇ, ʏᴇꜱ. ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇɴ ꜱᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ ʀᴇᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ, ꜱʜᴇ ᴀʟᴍᴏꜱᴛ ꜱᴇᴇᴍᴇᴅ ɢɪᴅᴅʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ꜱʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴅᴏɴᴇ! ɪ ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɢɪʀʟ ɪꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴇɴᴅ ᴜᴘ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜᴇʀ ꜰᴀᴛʜᴇʀ…”

[thegreatmerasmus]

"Helo, you are zhe wizard spouse of Solly, ja?"

(( @avian-malpractice ))

“ʏᴇꜱ!! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"I am Dorian Ludvig, one of apparently many RED medics. Pleasure to meet you. Out of curiosity, how is zhe Soldier in his free time?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ…ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰɪᴇʟᴅ. ʜᴇ’ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ ᴊᴜᴍᴘ!! ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟɪɴɢ.”

[avian-malpractice]

[He tilted his head with an expression somewhere between amusement and sympathy. He stepped closer]

"Zhat is troubling. How old, may I ask?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴄʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ.”

[avian-malpractice]

"I see. Good grief how long vill it take to knock sense into zhat idiot. Good luck vith zhat. I'm glad my children are fully grown"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ɪ ᴏɴᴄᴇ ʟᴇꜰᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴀ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴏʟᴅɪᴇʀ ʜᴀᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ ʙʟᴏᴡɴ ᴜᴘ ʙʏ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ!”

[thegreatmerasmus]

"Helo, you are zhe wizard spouse of Solly, ja?"

(( @avian-malpractice ))

“ʏᴇꜱ!! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"I am Dorian Ludvig, one of apparently many RED medics. Pleasure to meet you. Out of curiosity, how is zhe Soldier in his free time?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ…ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰɪᴇʟᴅ. ʜᴇ’ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ ᴊᴜᴍᴘ!! ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟɪɴɢ.”

[avian-malpractice]

[He tilted his head with an expression somewhere between amusement and sympathy. He stepped closer]

"Zhat is troubling. How old, may I ask?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴄʟᴏᴠᴇʀ ɪꜱ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ.”

[thegreatmerasmus]

"Helo, you are zhe wizard spouse of Solly, ja?"

(( @avian-malpractice ))

“ʏᴇꜱ!! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!”

[avian-malpractice]

"I am Dorian Ludvig, one of apparently many RED medics. Pleasure to meet you. Out of curiosity, how is zhe Soldier in his free time?"

[thegreatmerasmus]

“ᴡᴇʟʟ, ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅɴ’ᴛ ꜱᴀʏ ʜᴇ’ꜱ ᴛᴏᴏ…ᴅɪꜰꜰᴇʀᴇɴᴛ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴏɴ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ ꜰɪᴇʟᴅ. ʜᴇ’ꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜɪʟᴅ ᴛᴏ ʀᴏᴄᴋᴇᴛ ᴊᴜᴍᴘ!! ᴡʜɪᴄʜ ɪ ꜰɪɴᴅ ᴛʀᴏᴜʙʟɪɴɢ.”

[thegreatmerasmus]

"Helo, you are zhe wizard spouse of Solly, ja?"

(( @avian-malpractice ))

“ʏᴇꜱ!! ᴡᴇ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ꜰᴏʀ 10 ʏᴇᴀʀꜱ!”

[thegreatmerasmus]

Hey Merasmus! I got you something!

She hands him a check for 500,000$

To help with your debt! How did you get in debt to the Japanese Mafia anyway?

She asks genuinely curious

@tf2aerothepilot987

“ɪ ᴀᴅᴍɪᴛ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ᴜɴᴡɪꜱᴇ, ꜰɪɴᴀɴᴄɪᴀʟ ᴅᴇᴄɪꜱɪᴏɴꜱ…ʙᴜᴛ ᴡᴇ ꜱʜᴀʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ꜱᴘᴇᴀᴋ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴀɴʏ ꜰᴜʀᴛʜᴇʀ!

[thegreatmerasmus]

Throws a chicken in your general direction

“ɪ’ᴍ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴅᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ ᴘʀᴇᴘᴏꜱᴛᴇʀᴏᴜꜱ ᴀᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ʀᴀᴄᴄᴏᴏɴꜱ! ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴇʟʟᴇᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴛʜɪꜱ?!”

[thegreatmerasmus]

yeet the child

“ᴡʜᴀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛʀᴀɴɢᴇ ɴᴇᴡ ᴡᴏʀᴅ?”