PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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YOU ARE THE REASON
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@thejfox
i am on another plane right now and this video has me convinced that I reached nirvana for a few seconds
the first time i watched this video i was stoned out of my motherfucking MIND and i watched it on loop for 25 minutes
this is the only fucking post on this entire fucking site
I have been trying to find this video for like…a whole year
This is ten times more absurd when you recognise that fucking hedgehog.That hedgehog is the mascot of a spanish insurance company, Génesis Seguros. His name is Rizo, el erizo, and nowadays looks different but this is his first version.
There were even a puppet version:
He looks like this now:
I really really really hate that last image
I hate it too
keep your nose in your mask and out my business bro
So I keep doing this thing
I pick up animal crossing, play for a bit, but then something in the real world demands my attention so I set the game down intending to come back soon — but then I get distracted and the thing stays paused until tomorrow
And sometimes this happens while I’m in the middle of Nook’s shop
Which means when I open my game in the morning, I am immediately greeted by two young shopkeepers kicking me the heck out of the establishment because they want to go to bed
And I can only imagine just. I was standing there all night. Just. Standing there. Smiling vacantly into the corner. The clock strikes ten — closing time. They tell me I need to leave, but I don’t seem to hear. I just.,, stand there. Smiling. Is there an axe tucked away in my backpack? Maybe. Probably. Could even be two. There’s certainly a shovel. And they just sold me five slingshots. They sold them to me. Five slingshots. And now I’m just... standing there.
The clock strikes eleven. It’s been over an hour. I haven’t moved. Not even blinked. I’m just... standing there. Smiling — always smiling. The clock strikes twelve. Do the shopkeepers go to bed? Do they dare leave the store? Do they dare turn their backs? I’m just standing there. Smiling. Eyes fixed blankly at the wall.
One AM. two AM. three AM. four AM. five AM. tick tock tick tock tick tock tick. Standing there. Haven’t moved. Haven’t blinked. Haven’t breathed. Standing there. Smiling. Smiling.
Eight fifty-six AM. I stir. Blink. Turn my head to face them. Finally, they find their courage and toss me out onto the street. On cue, Isabelle makes her morning announcement. The shopkeeper twins get a brief moment of peace — a brief moment of rest — and then the shop bell rings. There I am in the doorway. Smiling.
“Can I help you?” One twin says. (Help you? The other echoes.)
I dump the contents of my pockets. Bones. Bees. An uprooted tree. A working toilet. Twelve handcrafted raccoon figurines. Three scorpions. Also a frog.
They give me my money. They know not to ask questions. I buy another slingshot, and I leave,
Still smiling.
UNMUTE THIS 💀💀
I’m actually fucking dead. I just… I can’t stop watching this. That fucking triple take at the end gets me every time
Never seen so much emotion from a toy shark.
the prank call messages you could get in the first sims game will by far be scarier than anything stephen king has ever written or could ever hope to write
me, aged 5: "oh, the phone is ringing! I wonder who it is that's calling me :)"
sims 1 pop-up message: "They're Coming Soon. Maybe You Should Think Twice About Opening The Door."
me:
The Sims:
"Your psychic advisor suggests that you keep your secrets well this month. There may be untrustworthy individuals in your environs."
""The flashing light was just a test. You'll have plenty of warning next time."
"The drop off has been made. You've been warned."
"You have been chosen. They will come soon."
"The end is near. Make preparations."
5-year-old me:
First Twitter, now Tiktok…
subway bread is legally not bread
the idea of consuming two conflicting things that promise to do the opposite of each other has always been hilarious to me. there’s a liquid shot-based sleep aid called 6 hour sleep and as soon as I saw it i immediately imagined mixing it and a 5 hour energy together for a 1 hour nap
mix NyQuil and DayQuil to create Quil
what does Quil do
All the time all the time
no clue what to do with these bois so ill leave em here
Deadass tho
POV: You’re the “i” in the Pixar logo
Via @iamdylancurran (Twitter)
I’ll repost this whenever I see it on my dashboard.
fuck…
So, one thing you can do is use Firefox instead of Chrome. Another thing you can do is use duck duck go instead of google search. In fact you know what let me get on desktop and make a proper reply, give me about an hour and I’ll hook y’all up with some privacy
ok I took a bit more than an hour, I have time blindness don’t @ me.
Step one, download and install Firefox.
https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/
It will ask if you want to import all your bookmarks and saved passwords from your current browser/s. Do that. It will also ask if you want to make it your default browser. Do that too.
You will be given the option to create an account, but it’s not mandatory. It’s just a convenience service if you want to access your bookmarks and saved passwords on different devices.
Firefox has a load of built-in privacy protections but we’re going to install some addons to make it EVEN BETTER. Don’t worry they’re all free and once you’ve installed them you don’t have to think about them again.
First, Duck Duck Go Privacy Essentials. Firefox does still set your default search engine to Google, we don’t want that. You could manually change it but the Duck Duck Go addon gives you some tracker blocking, encryption, private searching, all set up and ready to go
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/duckduckgo-for-firefox
Next you need an ad blocker. ABP went stupid, so here’s uBlock
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ublock-origin/
Do you use farcebook or any related product like instagram? Facebook Container automatically puts those in a little quarantine pen so they can’t follow you around and spy on what else you’re doing
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/facebook-container/
If you have multiple accounts (eg. work/school, family, public, personal, private) you can use Firefox Multi-Account Containers to manage them and keep their footprints separate
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/multi-account-containers/
Privacy Badger and HTTPS Everywhere are published by the Electronic Frontier Foundation, and those people are serious as a heart attack when it comes to online privacy.
Privacy Badger sends a do not track signal, and also breaks link tracking by sites like facebook, twitter, etc.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/privacy-badger17
HTTPS Everywhere is… ok there’s a lot to explain here, and we’re already longposting so just, every time you connect to any page it makes it more secure.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/https-everywhere/
If you want to learn a bit about how this works and why it’s good to have, might as well start with the HTTPS page on wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/HTTPS
You could stop here, that’s pretty good. But you can do more. You could install NoScript. A big warning with this one, it can break half the internet. It’s a LOT more user friendly than it used to be but if you can’t figure shit out by fucking around you should probably skip it. It blocks scripts from running without permission, protecting you from drive-by scripts that give your computer herpes, but also sometimes protecting you from script-heavy sites working at all.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/noscript/
Lastly an honourable mention for Ghostery. Ghostery has been a solid privacy addon for years, and now has adblocking powers. Honestly I haven’t used it in ages, a long time ago it conflicted with something else I deemed more important so I removed it and I never got around to picking it back up, but it has a great reputation and is trusted by a lot of people who I trust.
https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/ghostery/
Now, this all only covers your browser activity, which is a lot but you will still need to manually adjust privacy settings on your google/gmail/youtube account/s if you have any, your facebook/instagram account/s if you have any, and your actual gotdamn operating system if you use windows. I know it seems like a lot of effort, I’m a lazy bitch too, but it’s very set-and-forget, you only need to do it once, and then just review it a couple of times a year.
Here’s some stuff about Windows 10 privacy settings
https://pixelprivacy.com/resources/windows-privacy-settings/
https://www.cnet.com/how-to/5-privacy-settings-to-change-in-windows-10/
And some stuff about google privacy settings
https://mashable.com/article/google-privacy-setting-you-should-enable-now/
And some stuff about facebook privacy settings
https://www.trustedreviews.com/news/facebook-privacy-settings-2939307
And here’s an honest explanation of what a VPN really does and does not do, why you don’t actually need one, and the few real reasons you might ever want one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVDQEoe6ZWY
And a bit about password managers
https://www.cnet.com/news/best-password-managers-for-2020/
This is by no means the limit of the steps you can take to secure your online privacy, if you want to go deeper you definitely can. But if you don’t want to or don’t have the time or aren’t very technically minded, this will still put you way ahead of the pack. It won’t make you The Most Private but it will make you Much More Private Than Most, and it should take you less than an hour or two, depending on how many accounts you have on predatory datenkraken sites.
Now go hide your panties from the evil empire.
i will add that ublock’s ‘cosmetic filtering’ (the little eye on their icon menu) is on by default & can donk up small but seemingly unconnected things, and you can turn it off with no real problem I’ve found yet
I will add that making these changes does more than improve your online privacy. I had several computers get absolutely wrecked by walware when I was younger, but the second I started using NoScript, that issue completely stopped. This was about ten years ago. There are two caveats: you need to develop a good sense of which domains to allow scripts from, and any content creators you like won’t get any ad revenue from you, so it would be nice if you could support them in other ways like Patreon.
I made my town tune a really long high note to see what would happen and I did not expECT ISABELLE OMG I’M CRY
She sang at a frequency only she could hear
yessss queen give us nothing!