nowhere boy

julian. 22, brooklyn born, tattoo artist, trouble maker. any questions?

[lexxramsey]

"— Honestly, I didn’t hear a thing you just said. Was any of it important?"

[thejulianbreaux]

Probably not. Can't remember what it was, anyway. 

[harleyxnielson-blog]

But I’m much more likely to end up in a jail cell if I go at someone’s car with keys than with lipstick. I have to avoid the police station at all costs.”

[thejulianbreaux]

I see. Can't help you then, sorry. Why are you trying to mess with someone's car, anyway?

[julietcampbell-blog]

I guess I really don’t know how to flirt, really. Unless I do and I don’t realize. I would never throw my drink on someone! That seems overly rude.

[thejulianbreaux]

It's really not too hard. The first couple times is weird, but it kinda just...happens after a while. Then it's easy. Well, I kinda deserved it when they threw drinks on me. I don't blame 'em. 

[ivylennox]

Do you? I would love to check that out. In regards to the tricks up your sleeve, I’d love to check those out, too.

[thejulianbreaux]

Oh yeah? Here, lemme write the url on your hand. Oh, you'll see. A magician never reveals his secrets.

[grayson-skene-blog]

That’s quite the turn of events. I’m always curious as to how people learn their craft.

[thejulianbreaux]

Yeah, it was really cool of him. Didn't exactly feel like going back to jail, so yeah. So what's your story, anyway? Is coffee your true passion?

[dylnsheridn]

You break my heart, Fredo.

[thejulianbreaux]

Hey, I didn't organize the headbanging incident. I just stand to benefit from it. 

[dylnsheridn]

Bro.

[thejulianbreaux]

[dylnsheridn]

Dude, I’d be dead and you couldn’t even honor me with a smiley face? I am hurt.

[thejulianbreaux]

Hey, a man's gotta make money. Although I could raid your wallet once you die. Take fifteen bucks and be good. I'd probably do that. Okay, where do you want this smiley face? Gotta tell me before you fall asleep. 

[dylnsheridn]

Haha, well, worst case scenario I die in a peaceful coma, and then you can tattoo a smiley face on me. Everyone wins.

[thejulianbreaux]

This is true. But then you wouldn't be able to pay me. While I'm willing to do half price tattoos, I don't know if I can stand for giving a tattoo for free. 

[dylnsheridn]

I think so too, besides it’s not like a concussion will kill me — as long as I wake myself up every hour on the hour.

[thejulianbreaux]

There ya go, positive thinking. What's what worst that could happen? Well, actually, maybe it's not best to think about the worst that can happen with a concussion. Let's just forget I said that.

[thejulianbreaux]

[dylnsheridn]

I think I gave myself a concussion headbanging to Everlong in my car this morning.

[thejulianbreaux]

Well, if there's any enjoyable way to give yourself a concussion, then that's it.

[harleyxnielson-blog]

"Do you have any lipstick, chains, or handcuffs on you? This idiot just cut me off and I want to make his day a living hell."

[thejulianbreaux]

No, but I'm sure you can get the job done with keys, some creativity, and a little determination.

[julietcampbell-blog]

Oh, no! I meant, dealing with people hitting on you. People pour drinks on you?

[thejulianbreaux]

I usually just let 'em. If they seem cool, I flirt back. Y'know compliments, laughter, physical contact, shit like that. If not, I let them know I'm not interested after they buy me a few drinks. Yeah, sometimes I go a little far and get drinks thrown at me. It's all good, though.

[dylnsheridn]

Well, you’re in luck, ‘cause I get all the cookies we don’t sell at the end of the day at work.

[thejulianbreaux]

Bro.

[dylnsheridn]

Well, that’s too bad. New town, new identity. Life is a cruel mistress that way.

[thejulianbreaux]

Dammit life, why won't you let me have nice things. Why can't you be a nice mistress, who bakes like cookies and shit. Man, I really want some cookies.

[dylnsheridn]

Dude, get on that.

Well, good, ‘cause it’s your name now. You’ll never be Julian again.

[thejulianbreaux]

That's it, I'm doing it tonight. 

Damn, and I was just starting to get attached to Julian