18+ I scroll on Pinterest either at normal waking hours for art ideas like a millennial or at peak demon summoning hours when I look at fanart or memes. That or I am at a fanfic website where I stare at me screen so intensely that my FBI agent has probably quit. Yeah- FUCK U BOB- (I'm in to a lot of fandoms HMU if u want memes)
I have to ask myself why I stop playing this game.
On May 28th. I decided to bite the bullet, and with my 160 ish pulls, get Sunday's light cone.
At 20 pity. This happened.
Within the same 10 pull. I got his light cone twice. I was beyond overjoyed, my first double ever after years of playing at least six different gacha games. But terrified for the upcoming Blade banner on June first. Had I Just used all of my luck up for that month?!
But I forgot that it was a new month, when Blade would be out.
June 1st. I successfully got the new Blade, around 80 pity. Thank gosh.
And I wanted his light cone. Crap.
So, I decided to use up the rest of my pulls. And I 40 pity, the ticket turned rainbow. I was ecstatic! Another early no way!
Going to get my driver's licence and now I'm curious. How bad do you think the twst characters would be behind a car?? Cause idk if they have cars in that world or some magic equivalent, but I'm 90% sure almost none of them now how. Like imagine Lillia behind the wheel. He would either crash the car or get you yo your destination with mild injuries. And I KNOW leona sucks at driving that sonnova gun probs doesn't even have his permit.
good luck soldier, hope you pass first try 🫡
leona is canonically good at driving! his liongarb vignette part 2 has him driving everyone and they say it's a surprisingly smooth ride, he's had his license since before he enrolled in nrc!
ooo let's see (these are my hcs)
How I think the twst boys drive:
Riddle
“If you don’t use your blinker, you deserve a revoked license and public humiliation.”
has a laminated printout of the dmv manual in his glove compartment. refers to it. frequently.
stress-mumbles the rules of the road like it’s a ritual to keep the car from crashing
WILL tailgate someone going under the speed limit while also ranting about how dangerous tailgating is
6/10 driving skills. you’ll get there. your spine might not survive the journey, but you’ll get there.
Trey
drives like a dad and acts like one too. snacks in the glovebox. tunes to an “easy listening” radio station no one asked for
makes full eye contact with you while backing into a parking space like it’s nothing. terrifying.
won’t yell at other drivers but will mutter very passive-aggressive things like “oh, nice turn signal, champ”
actually a good driver, but if you’re in a rush he suddenly forgets where the gas pedal is
9/10. safe, boring, you will arrive calmly unless you say something that triggers “dad lecture mode”
Cater
treats every red light like a selfie opportunity. traffic jam? story time.
“oops lol i forgot i was driving”—said as he casually swerves back into the lane with one hand and no shame
will absolutely blast hyperpop or sad girl music at full volume and sing along
uses gps and still misses every turn. rerouting? he’s rerouting his soul
4/10. looks good while driving but he’s taking you straight to the afterlife
Ace
somehow thinks he’s in mario kart. will try to drift. is bad at drifting.
screams “WE’RE FINEEEE” after hitting the curb for the third time
brakes too late, accelerates too fast, thinks honking is just “assertive communication”
if there’s a speed bump he’s treating it like a ramp. bonus points if he makes you hit your head on the ceiling
2/10. he’s the reason riddle has ulcers. do NOT get in the car if you value your life or bones.
Deuce
follows every rule with military precision. 10 and 2. full stops. checks mirrors like he’s solving a crime
“Yes ma’am, no ma’am, I mean—uh, officer! No officer! I wasn’t speeding I swear—” (he wasn’t. he was 5 under.)
will cry if you scream while he’s merging. please don’t scare the boy.
starts off driving like your grandma, then randomly hits you with a tokyo drift moment and doesn’t explain
7/10. either safest driver alive or full menace. depends on how much sleep he got.
Leona
the infuriatingly competent kind of driver who looks like he’s not paying attention, but then parallel parks in one smooth move without even checking the mirrors
arm out the window, seat leaned back, one hand on the wheel, vibes immaculate
doesn’t drive fast, but drives scarily efficient. like you blink and you’re at the destination
will not turn down the music. you are listening to the same remix loop for 45 minutes and you WILL like it.
9/10 driver. good under pressure, hates driving in the rain, will refuse to pick you up unless you bribe him with snacks or flattery.
Ruggie
terrifyingly resourceful behind the wheel. the kind of guy who’ll be like “oh yeah there’s a shortcut” and you end up on a goat trail with no guardrails
speed demon. not by choice. he just doesn’t believe in arriving late. or braking.
eats while driving. talks while driving. does parkour with the car while driving. you pray while riding.
every time he drives you somewhere, you owe him one. including emotional damage fees.
5/10. you will survive. but spiritually? you left your body three potholes ago.
Jack
rule follower. actual golden retriever on the road. if you litter out the window he will make a U-turn to go back and make you pick it up
will not speed, will not honk unless someone is literally on fire, will not change the radio station unless everyone agrees
but if someone cuts him off? feral instincts engaged.
quietly competitive. if someone passes him, he WILL accelerate. you may hear growling. don’t question it.
8.5/10. safe, solid, dependable. would drive you home from a party and make sure you drank water first.
Azul
thinks driving is a power move. like. he paid extra for that quiet engine start just to flex
fully uses driving time to monologue about business deals, plans, or subtle threats. you’re not sure if you’re carpooling or in a hostage negotiation
signals three miles ahead. checks mirrors like he’s being tailed by the fbi. he might be
very good at navigating. if gps reroutes, he reroutes it back. he wins against the algorithm.
9/10, but unnerving. you’re safe, but at what cost.
Jade
why does he have a license. who allowed this.
drives like he’s setting up a prank for someone ten miles ahead
never speeds, but takes the creepiest, emptiest backroads imaginable. says it’s “more scenic”
always smiling while driving. concerningly calm if something explodes. probably listening to classical music or nature documentaries
6/10. legally fine. emotionally? you’re not coming back the same.
Floyd
no one is shocked he passed the test. everyone is shocked he was legally allowed to take it
drives according to mood. if he’s bored, the car drifts. if he’s happy, he’s swerving in rhythm to the beat. if he’s angry? start writing your will.
makes driving sounds while driving. “vroom vroom~ screeeee~” for no reason
WILL throw fries at other cars. WILL try to high-five a biker at a stoplight. WILL unbuckle his seatbelt to “stretch” mid-drive
3/10. you either have the best day of your life or a near-death experience. possibly both.
Kalim
loudest driver alive. music blaring, windows down, shouting "WHEEEE~!" every time he accelerates
constantly turns around to talk to people in the backseat. like fully turns around. while driving.
forgets he’s not in a flying carpet. every stop sign is an opportunity to launch forward like it’s a joyride
someone told him roundabouts are fun so he goes around twice. just for the vibes.
4/10. he loves driving. driving does not love him back. you’re clutching the oh-shit handle the whole time.
Jamil
the only reason scarabia hasn’t been sued for vehicular crimes
drives like a tired single parent with 4 kids in the back screaming about McDonald's
SPEEDS when no one’s watching. you blink, he’s five miles ahead. shadow clone jutsu behind the wheel.
has memorized every traffic light timer in the city. never hits red. it’s… weird.
9/10. efficient, smooth, and will absolutely sigh dramatically the whole time you’re in the car.
Vil
drives a clean car. spotless. smells like luxury perfume and judgment
interior is curated. no trash. no crumbs. one water bottle and it’s aesthetically pleasing.
signals aggressively. like he flips that blinker with intent
will slow down to give you a Look if you’re in the wrong outfit to be seen with him
8/10. elegant and competent, but if you scuff his interior with your shoes, you’re walking.
Rook
who gave him a license. seriously. who looked at this man and went “yes. let him command a machine.”
sings full operas while driving. makes direct eye contact through the rearview mirror. unsettling.
has taken you on backroads even you didn’t know existed. somehow it was scenic.
talks like he’s narrating a wildlife documentary about the local traffic patterns
???/10. is he a good driver? no one knows. he’s just... driving.
Epel
lives for off-roading. doesn’t matter if he’s in a prius, he’s driving that baby like it’s a monster truck
drives like a 90-year-old when vil’s in the car. drives like he’s in a nascar trial when vil’s not
says “it’s fine, I’ve done this before” and proceeds to take a left turn at 70 mph
threatens to do donuts in the parking lot and then does them.
5/10. he’s trying his best. unfortunately, his best involves sick tricks and zero concern for tire life.
Idia
doesn’t.
has a license “for legal reasons,” but he treats driving like going outside is the final boss battle
owns a tricked-out car he never drives. it has led lights, anime decals, and a built-in gaming console. he uses it as a portable man cave
the one (1) time he did drive, he wore fingerless gloves, anime osts were blasting, and he whispered “initial D style” before forgetting which pedal was the brake
2/10. technically can drive. emotionally should not. you’re safer ubering with floyd.
Ortho
doesn't technically need a license but downloaded the entire dmv handbook into his memory for fun
his “car” is less “vehicle” and more “sentient ai-controlled hovercraft with wifi and snacks”
offers in-flight entertainment. like you’re not even on a plane. he just projects movies on the dashboard
drives at optimal efficiency.
11/10. the future of driving. terrifying and amazing. please stop letting him hack traffic lights though.
Malleus
he has a license. he studied for it. memorized the entire rulebook. aced the written.
the problem is: he drives like he's never seen another car before
goes 25 in a 60 because “it is the safest way to protect my precious cargo” (YOU)
stares at traffic lights like they personally offended him
car is some luxury vintage thing that makes no sense. you have to open the door with a key made of bone or something
3/10. you are deeply loved. and deeply late.
Lilia
drives like he’s lived through every era of vehicular invention. he owned a horse-drawn carriage and a tank
owns a beat-up, pink minivan with a custom wrap and dice in the mirror
speeds. aggressively. will swerve into the drive-thru and order fifty mcnuggets “for the road”
talks with both hands while driving. both. hands.
4/10. unpredictable. fun. chaos incarnate. your insurance company hates him.
Silver
good driver. responsible driver.
...except for the part where he falls asleep at stop signs
you’ll be halfway through a deep conversation and he’ll just nod off with his foot on the brake
car is clean, smells like lavender, and has one (1) emergency granola bar in every compartment
very gentle driver. almost too gentle. like “you didn’t feel the turn because he was spiritually aligned with the wheel” kind of gentle
6.5/10. smooth ride, but someone needs to keep him awake with snacks and playlist bangers.
Sebek
shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel.
drives like he’s been assigned to escort the royal heir through enemy territory
yells at everyone on the road. pedestrians, squirrels, YOU—no one is safe from his critiques of your seatbelt position
insists on narrating everything. “SIGNALING LEFT. NOW SWITCHING LANES. REMAIN ALERT!”
the gps is set to his own voice. and you can’t turn it off
2/10. the only thing louder than the engine is his righteous fury.
Grim
that’s a cat.
(he tries to drive. he sits on the wheel. honks the horn with his butt. chews the seatbelt. it's a warzone in there.)
Hellooo! I'm TheLeftOverE or just E! This is my first time posting work on Tumblr, and I decided to add one of many works to the Idia collection! Please remember I am a complete newb at this so if anyone has advice on set up for my page please share Ideas.
I also take a lot of creative liberties when writing to feed my delusions. Sooo if something isn't canon please don't fill my inbox with criticism that isn't very constructive plz . I also have an odd way of writing. I flip between perspectives of people to share characters thoughts. I've always done this, I thought it was weird but my creative writing teacher thinks it's interesting just hard to follow. I'll do my best to stick to one perspective and make it clear when I shift. But we will see!
TLDR for my adhd's: I'm weird, Plz be nice to this Newb. Also my grammar is trash.
Tw: swearing, crass humor, the word used to describe male genitals for a joke, word used to describe lady lumps, college shenanigans, mention of thighs??, Doxing, I'm writing this on my phone
Reader is Hermit Witch coded because being a menace to societal norms is funny. I'ma live in the woods, grow my own food and cackle over a caldron w/ my cats. It's implied that the reader is female with terms used to refer to reader with female body parts, however take it how you want.
Do: Like, Comment and Reblog! I want to know if this bodes well!
"He He He-"
The noise of your giggle joining the hum of an overworked super computer, Orthos charging station and other questionable technologies. Your fingers taking a continuous trek through your boyfriends long, flickering hair, scratching at his scalp occasionally. His hair is a kaleidoscope of blue casting waves of color on his grey bedspread like sun through a stained glass window. Idia's Shifting hair made of flames was a tinge pink today. Embarrassment no doubt.
His hair had always been direct showing of his emotions. Jealousy, Anger, Nervousness... Not like blush on his face told you what you needed to know anyway, pretty flaming hair be damned.
"I cannot believe you did that Idia." Your words, quiet yet amused. Continuing to entertain the memories of time but an hour ago.
Gently scratching the crown of your Boyfriends head. "Please do that again sometime. It was kinda hot." You say looking down at Idia who was laying on his back, arms holding his phone up overtop his head. Thumbs tapping away grinding on a game while resting his head on your thighs, substituting a pillow. Idia only huffed, refusing to look away from his screen. Was it the embarrassment or trying to make you forget about it?
As much as he had originally been hesitant to lay like this a couple months ago, not being too keen on let alone physical contact. ie: a nervous breakdown despite it being his own girlfriend. His just anxious okay?! Girlfriend thighs are SSR rated stuff! More often than not he kept asking to lay his head down on your lap while you read or watched a movie together. Idia began enjoying this position and the comfort it brought. Something about 'Racking up girlfriend points'. Like he was laying in this position for you. Totally not the fact that he could look at the underside of your boobs while gaming. All while you twirled his hues of blue flaming locks on the crown of his head between your fingers. Having a girlfriend was awesome. How he bagged you was beyond him. Guess he rolled good that day he was out and about.
Was this an odd form of cuddling? Yes. But considering you drew pentagrams on your own floor, had varying mystical creatures as your companions or constantly tested local law on acceptable amounts of deadly fauna to grow on your property in the forest before it becomes some sort of public safety violation. And your dear Idia was an absolute geeked out computer genius that spoke in gamer lingo, had a diet of energy drinks and instant ramen, had a morally questionable history of technology use, rarely went outside and called everyone normies. Yeah. You both were two peas in a pod, weird peas, but in a pod nonetheless.
"Your little stunt is going to be all over Magicam my dear." You say, leaning over, looking into his yellow eyes that reflected his phone screen. Watching him snuggle into your lap a little more with a groan, not wanting to acknowledge his little gimmick earlier. Letting out a sigh, you just continue to stroke Idia's head. He small pleased smile on his face like he's super comfy.
You didn't usually get to see his soft smile. He either had that huge, almost creepy, wide grin that showed off all of his razor sharp pointed shark teeth and crazed eyes widened from their usual half lidded state when he won something or was about to go on a tangent about a hyper fixation. Or a nervous, look with hunched over shoulders and downturn lips as he stuttered.
You rarely ever saw many other expression. Sometimes you'd see a determined look on his face and leaned in posture when he was staring immensely at his computer screen during coding. 'Locked in' is what he had called it. Still wasn't quite sure what it meant but you enjoyed seeing him so determined. A few times you'd seen him grow enraged. Not angry or miffed. Enraged is the best term you could care to think of. His hair lifted up from is long twisting sweeps going down to the floor. Flaming towards the sky in huge, violent ripples of a nasty bright fire orange that would be the last thing you would see as raging fire engulfed you in a building. That look continues as he screams 'SILENCE, INSECT! My hair is literally on fire and I'm STILL not as bad as some cowardly hater with no taste and zero common sense!! Fuck YOU! I'ma DOX your ass until the day you regret you were born!!' Into the microphone propped up on his desk.
But today you saw your boyfriend, chronically online, tec genius, smug, and serious.
It was like many other times you came onto campus of Night Raven. Night Raven was open to visitors on most weekends with permission and were directly visiting someone on campus, like a friend or a sibling. Unless it was a holiday or festival of course, then it was open to all. You had been waiting in one of the main campus building lobbies getting a double check on your permission slip to stay the weekend on campus as a visitor with Idia. He had promised to actually come in person to walk with you on the way to his dorm.
'Not because I think you're gonna get lost!! You have S tier nav skills! ' He just didn't want to admit he wanted to hang out longer. His club would be ending right around then, so he'd swing by the lobby to pick you up so to speak. Which was huge step with his social anxiety. So to say, you were honored to have him come to show you the way even if you had walked it at least a hundred times.
While one of the staff members scrolled through his computer, looking for your name on the list of "okay to stay applicants." The halls and upper balcony of the large lobby began to fill with students as clubs got out. As an all boys college, it wasn't all that unoften to see siblings, or friends or even partners hanging out in the lobby to begin chatting with students before they were "technically" let in. So, to say it was packed was an understatement.
But, despite all that, low and behold. You saw the lanky, hunched over, 6 ft tall, hoodie wearing shuffling walk of your boyfriend beginning down the large spiral staircase from the balcony. Watching him try to make himself smaller as he bobbed and weaved through people. However, Idia wasn't alone. Next to him was another, shorter, white haired put together male with glasses walking down next to Idia. Based on the dorm bands around their arm you knew he was from the Octavianelle Dorm. And if memory served correctly, Idia had one acquaintance from there. Azul, a fellow Housewarden, and a member of the board game club.
Haven't ever met Azul, it was hard to know what he was like. But Idia talked about him after club time sometimes over the phone when he lost a game of Chess or Monopoly to Azul. Grumbling about losing usually to a 'Slippery Money, Chance Sniffing Loan Shark.' Maybe he isn't the person to go to if you have money problems.
The staff member finally gave the okay to stay on campus. Handing you a visitor's ID before you slipped away from the front desk to walk over to Idia but was quickly interrupted half way to the bottom of the stairs.
"Hey hot stuff. What's a pretty girl like you doing here?"
A hand was placed on your shoulder as a young man stepped in front of you. A teeth showing smile on the guy's face. No doubt a college student here either dared by his buddies to go fishing for someone's number or wanted to try to get his dick wet. Yay.
By the time you opened your mouth to even respond, Idia was behind the guy. Standing straight for the first time ever, his hands casually in his sweatshirt pockets but his hood was off. Floor length, blue flaming hair completely visible, which in turn immediately drew attention. Idia was known for not being out and about, and his hair was one of a kind with the exemption of his robot younger brother.
"Hey, Normie." Idia had spoken into the back of the man trying to flirt with you.
Azul's dress shoes making audible tapping noises as the decibels of the overfilled lobby started to hush. Catching up, Azul stood next to Idia, suddenly feeling mildly uncomfortable at how tall his fellow Housewarden looked. Had he always been that... Gifted? Azul straightened his uniform jacket before opening his mouth to question Idia but couldn't get a word out.
"That's my girlfriend. So she a no no zone for you. Perma Locked. Go flirt with someone else if you have any self preservation stats or your address might be public in the next five seconds."
Idia said like it was an inconvenience.
Not a single word stuttered. No nervous energy. Idia just dropped the biggest bomb without a second thought.
Returning from your thoughts you giggle again, hearing Idia groan once more, dropping his phone onto his bedspread and rolling his head into your lower abdomen, trying to disappear from the world while mumbling about what got into him.
The guy had slowly turned around looking up at Idia Shroud, who had a dead, disappointed look on his face that wasn't dampened by a hood or a slouch. "Hu- Huh?" The unnamed student B asked.
"My girlfriend. The person you are attempting to flirt with is my girlfriend, you freakin' casual. M-y G-i-r-l-f-r-i-e-n-d." Idia said, sounding out letters like he was talking to a toddler.
You had to bite your lip to stifle your laugh in the now dead quiet massive lobby full of people..
"Stop talking about it! It's embarrassing enough!" Your boyfriend screeched into your gut, muffling his noise making.
Azul's jaw had dropped. The whole lobby of students jaws had dropped. Azul could feel his glasses slide down the bridge of his nose. Comical, but that was not the current focus. Even if Idia was lying about the girlfriend status, to hear him speak loud enough that it made people be quiet was a shock, but GIRLFRIEND? Idia Shroud in the same sentence as GIRLFRIEND?
Azul, much to his discretion, took off his glasses to massage his face. Slipping the lenses back onto his face, Azul stepped closer to Idia. Turning his body to look at the hoodie wearing shut ins side profile before turning his head to gaze at the.. very pleasant on the eyes young lady that suddenly has a different label. Idia Shroud's Girlfriend. And the student body number in the middle.
What in Sevens name was this interaction?!
Azul cleared his throat. "Best you move along." He murmured, adjusting his glasses once more in a jittery tick he had developed. The student body number just slipped his hand off the young lady's shoulder then backed up into the crowded lobby. Which was still as quiet as it could be besides the noise of people shifting or breathing.
Azul felt cold. Strange for a deep dwelling sea creature standing next to a peer with flames for hair but it wasn't exactly a temperature thing.
Idia was watching the attempted Flirter try to disappear into the packed oversized room. Yellow eyes like a haunting light in a dark place before jaws of immeasurable strength wrap around you and snap you in half.
Like the Tweels.
Idia looked like the Tweels with a target.
And that made Azul want to crawl into his octopot because what the actual fuck.
"Man. People suck." Idia said. Hunched over posture, eyes drooping and sudden smaller proximity returning that gave Azul whiplash with no movement. But Idia didn't stuff his floor length flaming hair back into his sweatshirt, or yank the hood up, pulling the strings as far as they would allow. He just stood there. Just. Existing. Around other people.
The pleasant on the eyes young lady dubbed Idia's Girlfriend just smiled, responding.
"I know."
Idia turned his attention to his fellow Housewarden. Azul, who despite his usual gentleman demeanor and snake like opportunist just stared. Didn't immediately introduce himself to his girlfriend to swindle her from Idia or some money. Azul was losing his SR rated business man skills??? Hello?? Well can't be too mad. Azul wasn't fighting him over his smoking hot legendary mystic class gf.
"oh uhhh. Azul. This is my girlfriend. Bebe this is Azul." Idia said. Gotta introduce you properly. Be impressive and shit.
"Hello Azul. Pleasure." You replied, holding a hand out to shake hands. Proper lady schmuck. Idia just thought you were really pretty being all proper. Victoria era rp. He also liked your Witch hat that you wore sometimes. Mysterious wardrobe change. Also your cats. So many cats. He really should go out to your house more often. But your lack of Internet over there kills him... Maybe he should set up a satellite or something. Yeah he could do that. Then he could even hang out with your kitties while doing remote class! Genius level stuff!!
"P- Pleasure is mine! I'm Housewarden Azul Ashengrotto of Octavianelle Dorm. I'm in the board game club with- Your- Boyfriend... Ah, If you ever need anything, please stop by."
"Yes. Thank you. I'll keep it in mind."
Idia watched you both shake hands before adding one more comment. "Btw thanks Azul for making that Normie scram. Might'a had a break down if you hadn't stepped in."
'Breakdown?! What breakdown??! Breaking his bones?!' But Azul left that unsaid. "Of course."
Idia felt his girlfriend step over, brushing up against his side. Hand in her crocheted bag. Probably to pull out her physical photo album of ever changing cat photos. Aw yeah. A ritual you both did while walking together. Looking at cat photos.
"Welp. We are gonna get going." Idia said not looking up from the book you pulled out of your bag. A smile with the peak of his sharp teeth showing. Man he's got a hot waifu girlfriend and an endless supply of cat photos from said girlfriend. Achievement unlocked, Endless Happiness.
"I'll let you win at our next chess game in return." Idia continued to Azul, leaning over your shoulder to begin looking at new pics of your cat hoard. "See ya."
Azul just nodded as Idia and his girlfriend walked through the sea of students that parted around them like in a fairytale. Azul wasn't sure what part was a fairy tail but it sure was.
as a student from another world, your friends are dying to know about your life from your homeworld, especially what school was like for you. after sharing a few unique stories from your old school, like the tales of a certain confessional account, you thought nothing of it. that is, until you get a new follower notification from your magicam account one evening, just like an account from your old school. rumors are running, gossip is spreading, all under an anonymous confessions account. oh, what can of tuna worms did you unleash on the student body of night raven college…
who started the account? and seriously? couldn’t they come up with a more original username? who took the original? who knows, maybe some of these submissions lead to deeper confessions with some of your classmates…
pairing -> multiple! twst x fem!reader
genre -> smau, written portions, route based storylines, interactive, mystery, humor, to be added!
warnings -> though tagged as fem!reader, i write predominantly in 2nd person in reference to the reader, reader is ‘yuu’, to be added!
SUMMARY: after an off-handed comment made by Idia, you find yourself taking what he said into genuine consideration. instead of just bringing some cats into your guest room though, why not find a way to have both cats and profits while being comfy?
warnings; gn!reader x dormleaders. long post. the keep reading line may repeat a bit of text, but please continue reading if it does. inspired by this video. by interacting with this post you agree you’ve read through my navigation and i hold no responsibility for the content you view. part i. part ii. part iii.
PROLOGUE.
“Are you really sure about this, Henchman?” Grim asks, crossing his arms as he huffs, jealousy laced in his voice. He was used to your occasional strange idea, but he considered something to be sincerely wrong with you at the moment if you thought bringing other stray cats into his territory were a smart idea, not to mention the way you were cuddling them and scratching their bellies. Where did you even find this many cats? Did you make a deal with Azul?
Puffing your cheek slightly, you ignore your cat’s comment while putting the collar on the last one. “Do you want to have fancy tuna?” You reply, fixing the collar’s bow as you smile at your hard work. “You’re not believing in me, Grim. This is an untapped market potential, in case you forgot we have a whole dorm here at school dedicated to gamers and introverts practically. And you know what they like? Cats and silence!” You tell him as you look at your array of cats.
You’d found yourself surprised that Professor Trein actually entertained your question if he knew where to find cats on sage island, even more so when Crowley eventually relented to letting you keep a few cats in exchange for not bringing up the fact you’ve been through how many overblots against him for awhile. This was a chance you could not lose. “There’s cat cafe’s in my world with relatively simple rules and a quiet atmosphere. We simply need to make it a reality, and lucky for us we have a magical furniture tool and an investor.” You say, getting up from the chair and walking toward your little notebook to check off another item off the list.
“You have an investor?” He asked, not quite believing you as he raised a brow. Hearing his disbelief you chuckle a little, pointing your pen at a corner of the room to which he jumps in surprise, letting out a shock ‘nyagh!’ “Idia has been here for the past two hours, ever since I told him what I was going to do. I don’t know how or why he has money, but he has it and that’s enough for me.” You say, Grim still surprised he hadn’t notice Idia once in well over two hours. He still wasn’t convinced on your plan, but if it got him tuna and money, your plan surely can’t be that bad?
HEARTSLABYUL. riddle rosehearts.
RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS.
“Are there any rules I need to follow while I’m here?” Riddle asks, a little antsy as it were his first time in a room with so many cats before. It were against the queen’s rules to bring cats to a formal affair, but this wasn’t too formal, it were a cafe. And you did get explicit permission from the headmage so indulging in you just a tiny bit wouldn’t hurt, right? With a laugh, you point in the direction of one of the walls with the rules on display next to a signed plaque from the headmaster giving his approval to your whims.
“The rules are really simple. No forcing or disturbing the cats, do not go around picking them up, do not let them have your drinks, and refrain from running around and making too much noise. Outside drinks, food, and shoes are not permitted for sanitary reasons. You can only feed the cats treats sold by the prefect or in the gacha machines, and you have to log in which cat you’ve fed to ensure one cat doesn’t get particularly overweight.” You read off the board the rundown as he nodded, determined to follow the rules. As he stepped inside your now transformed guest room, his eyes sparkled as one of the cats immediately begun purring at him. Perhaps a cat cafe truly wasn’t too bad a place.
Riddle was really weary of your little project when you first told him about it. He really stopped lecturing you after you explained you had all the proper permission and even an investor. He had no idea who on campus would help you with this, but after hearing it were Idia he thought that maybe you were actually a bit more serious than he realized about your cat cafe plans. He takes awhile to convince to actually come, but after maybe seeing a picture you text him of the kitties with the caption, “I want Riddle to play with me!” he concedes ever so slightly into your demands.
His eyes light up in genuine happiness as little cats meow at his feet. His only other real experience with cats was Grim as his mother would not let him near them, but now he understands what the appeal to cats is about. They’re all so soft and he may use an occasional toy, but he also gets to hear their affection purrs as they nudge him nearly making him forget why he was so angry just ten minutes prior when he was collaring a student again. He isn’t a regular since he’s busy, but whenever you happen to ask he tries to make time, only because you’ve asked him to or his dorm members ask him to visit, not because he’s succumbed to being a cat person, he says, lying through his teeth.
His favorite cat is a Queendom of Roses (British) shorthair with pure dark grey fur and orange-yellow eyes. He wasn’t too sure how to act around the cats but this one plopped it’s chubby body onto his lap while nipping at his hand demanding to be pet while meowing right to his face and Riddle could not say no to that face. The cat is not as furry as the others and he quite prefers that, less hair to clean off of his clothes. He thought he would of preferred a less demanding cat, but Sesame is very calming and distracting for his anger. He at some point also noticed cat collar’s slightly changing and asked you about it.. and you found a gift from him, more specifically Sesame received a gift. His previous yellow collar replaced with a higher quality rose-red collar with white outlines of rose petals engravings. Now instead of a silent bell he had a rose attached to the front of the collar, and at the back of the collar was a bow designed to resemble leaf petals.
Absolutely plays favorites, he’s still a bit weary for long haired cats to approach him but won’t tell them to go away, and he always feels guilty if he pets a cat that is not Sesame. He would be willing to buy cat popsicles and cat treats on occasion but tries not to overly them as he knows you’re trying to not get them to be overweight and stay within a healthy range. He’s also able to get some work done when he visits, though not too often as his cat takes up most of his time and does not like him to share his attention with his paperwork, deliberately plopping down onto the paper if he deems he has not received enough attention. You could probably get away with asking him a single stupid question while he is relaxed. Only one, so use that question wisely.
Overall is a good guest since he keeps quiet to himself and his cat, and if he’s talking he’s really quiet about it since he respects your rules. He follows every single one to heart, not only that but also makes sure other guests are taking it to heart as well.
SAVANACLAW. leona kingscholar.
LEONA KINGSCHOLAR.
“Shut up, herbivore.” The beastmen hissed as you tried to hide your overly smug expression. “I haven’t even said anything yet, Kingscholar.” You tease as he opens one of his eyes and snarls at you in a nonthreatening manner, one hand running through his hair as the other runs his fingers through the fur of the sleeping cat on his chest, unable to stop you from taking pictures without disturbing said cat.
“Aren’t you two adorable?” You can’t help but snicker as you snap another photo of the annoyed beastman. You were definitely going to post this on your magicam story when you were free. Distracted by your phone, you fail to notice his ears twitching ever so slightly as he looks away from you, his face just a little bit darker in color than before as he shuts his eyes, going back to sleep.
Leona had no interest in being friendly with a bunch of strays you brought in from who knows where. He actually laughed in your face the first time you offered him some coupon to your cat cafe, he had no interest being near rowdy students. That was until he had the most annoying day alive, a conversation twice with Malleus in a single hour and he used you as his stress relief, nearly knocking you onto the floor as he plopped onto you after following you into your cat cafe.
No one else was there as you hadn’t opened, and he understood the appeal. The room wasn’t overcool with regulated temperatures perfect for a cat, with dim lighting and soft music. You even had different parts of your cafe for different guests as you place him onto one of the longer sofas, finally getting him off of you as you poor him a drink and listen to his complaint. At some point he had a group of cats just laying on him and purring against him and snuggling and he’s fallen asleep, not waking up until you inform him you’re closing for the night, and not to move too abruptly with the cat still sleeping on his chest.
His favorite cat had claimed him during their first fateful encounter, being a persian breed. The cat is very fluffy with creamy white fur and golden eyes, enjoying swaying her tail against Leona’s nose and kneading at his chest, arms, feet, wherever she gets her paws on. She does not enjoy being disturbed but does enjoy the occasional pet and spends most of her time just napping with Leona and pawing at him. He claims the cat is noisy every once in awhile but he can be seen petting her with one hand as the other shields his eyes as he lays down, letting her purr against him. He flat out told you he was replacing her stupid black collar with a new one, a brown silk collar that’s just a tad bit loose, with a few golden engravings and a beautiful bow on the back in a lighter brown and golden moons. Nebula also gets cat popsicles every once in awhile that he gets Ruggie to buy from you.
He is used to a bunch of different cats crawling over him as they seem to naturally approach him, and he’s very smug about that to Malleus, but he does have his favorite. Nebula is his number one cat and he will pick her up even though you have a no disturbing the cats rule and he will place her beside him as he has a drink as he lays down in his unofficial spot while she climbs atop him and goes to take a nap. He’s not jealous but he just does not allow other people to touch his cat is all. Whenever you come over to bring him a drink he’s trying to pull you down and shamelessly puts an arm around you as you ignore his clinginess and return back to your cats and cafe. May use a cat toy on occasion but not when you are watching because you get a stupid grin and ask him if he feels like pawing at the toy and he tries not to leave you on a street corner.
Overall a horrible guest but a decent guest. He definitely does not follow every rule and acts grumpy but he’s very quiet except the occasional snore. He will also take a very long time to leave because you need to scratch his ears because he’s not “fully awake”. But in terms of cat parenting he’s a pretty good guest.
OCTAVINELLE. azul ashengrotto.
AZUL ASHENGROTTO.
“So… do you still want to complain?” You ask, raising a brow as you stare at the bespectacled boy with a smug grin. He swore that there was zero charm to a cat cafe and that you stole his business from him just two weeks ago, but now he had a cup of coffee between his fingers sitting on the sofa with his eyes closed, a purring cat on his lap with documents on the table spread out as he worked. Azul’s face flustered a slight tint of red as he let out a small cough much to your and the twin’s amusement.
“That was the past, prefect. We found a way to make this arrangement mutual benefitting now, no need to bring up old problems.” He tries to sound professional as you snicker. Two weeks ago was not really a distant past, but you did work thing out. “Whenever you want a refill just let me know, I’ll leave you guys alone for now, I’ve got more to do.” You say, deciding not to tease the octomer further as you retreat back into the kitchen, leaving him to be teased by his two ‘friends’.
Azul had stormed into your establishment one day with a single goal in mind, to figure out how you had stolen his business. He came perplexed, how were you allowed cats on campus? Where did you get the money for renovation? Who was your supplier? Most importantly why did everyone favor the prefect’s cat cafe over the Monstro Lounge with quality service and quality food?
He had sat you down trying to be scary but you ended up putting him. You had offered him a proposal of a collaboration. If anyone orders a special item off the Monstro Lounge menu that day before coming into your cafe they’d be eligible to receive a little something from your cafe for free such as a cat popsicle or an extra thirty minutes added onto their time. He was weary at first but people came to the Monstro Lounge as though they were giving away free money as they came in groups. You both benefitted from this as you did not want food near your kitties that weren’t for them as that posed health and safety issues. He doesn’t know how but he also finds himself on occasion coming to your cafe during breaks as it was surprisingly calming despite his absolute hatred for these innocent cats when he originally entered.
His favorite cat is a Queendom of Roses (British) longhair with dark orange-esque fur with a fluffy white front and light blue eyes. He has no clue as to how but somehow this cat became his favorite as he purred against Azul’s shoes, nudging at him before eventually crawling into his lap. The cat makes little disturbance as Azul works, the purring soothing the octomer as he finishes up, occasionally finding his sleeves being tugged at when Butterscotch declares he’s been working enough by demanding pats. Butterscotch has also found himself on the end of receiving a lot of cat popsicles recently, and a collar upgrade. His collar went from a plain leathery texture to some high quality collar blue collar with tentacle engravings, and a sea patterned bowtie at the front of the collar, the center being a pretty shell.
He entertains other cats but keeps an eye out for his favorite, always reserving his lap space just for him. He mainly spends his time at the cafe after a large rush or when he has time off to work in the silence with his cat instead of the silence of his office. He actually finds himself working a lot faster in your cafe than all alone and he gets free refills on his coffee, so technically he is profiting than if he used his own supply, he justifies to himself. When he finishes work he may on occasion be found talking to you attempting to flirt poorly as you remain oblivious as he has no interest in manga or gaming. May occasionally be found brushing his favorite kitty’s fur and telling him he is going to become fat like he once was then still feeding him the treat regardless because he is very polite.
Overall is a very good guest as long as he has his kitty. Gets a bit antsy if he has to spend his time without his favorite as though he had been replaced but does not cause a scene or whine. Please make sure before you close he gets to squish his cat’s paw and knows he has not been replaced with a different cat dad.
SCARABIA. kalim al-asim.
KALIM AL-ASIM.
“Aha, prefect! Could I have another cat treat, please?” Kalim pleaded with you as you shake your head, doing your best at giving the puppy eyed dorm leader a firm no. He already had two today, that was enough. “But look at Taffy, she’s starving!” He says as you raise a brow, staring at the cat that was getting plumper by the day.
“Kalim, I love you like my actual child but no more. She’s even eating the other cat’s leftovers now at lunch time.” You scold the boy as he apologizes and pleads he will stop after maybe just one more treat as you sigh, putting your foot down and eyeing Jamil pleadingly who only pretends he can’t see you as he plays with his cat. “I’ll even pay four times the amount!” He said, pouting as you shook your head, ready to dive into the same discussion you’ve had with him the past three days.
Two hours, that is how long it took for Kalim to hear about your business venture and ask, beg, you to let him see. Apparently Idia had told Ortho who told the board game club members and word got around to Cater and Cater told him and Lilia and now he was bouncing off the walls in excitement with Jamil in tow. He was already prepared to meet the kitties and Jamil said it was okay so could you please go now? When he hears that there’s rules to follow he listens intently and follows them as best as he can remember, but he’s just so excited about the cats and trying your drinks! Also looking at the interior and more. Wait you also have gaming pcs and manga? He has to check those out too! His hyperactiveness could not be contained and you were a little concerned for the cats.
You were right to assume Kalim could not be contained for more than two seconds as he pspspspss at all of the kitties, toy in both hands as he was already playing with them, cats crawling on his lap and nudging at him, biting at him playfully and surrounding him as he held a cat popsicle out towards them, talking your’s and Jamil’s ears off about how fluffy and wonderful of a place this is. He had to tell every single person in his dorm about it, and his family, and people from other dorms as well, this was the greatest place on campus so far! Do you also need help buying the cat food or anything? He’d be willing to be another investor in a heartbeat but Jamil talks him out of it, partially. His favorite thing is official a cat in his lap as he drinks your own tea brew that he gifted you from his country… which may cost more than your entire life.
His favorite cat is a maine coon with black fur and green eyes. This cat has the world’s finest at her fingertips if she just meows. Kalim knows it’s wrong to pick favorites but he can’t deny that she is his favorite when she headbutts his chin and meows at him for minutes at a time even if he’s petting her. She’s extremely fluffy and starting to become pudgier but he doesn’t mind that as he gets her more treats. Her pink collar has long since been discarded as she now has a full wardrobe, but her collar is now the finest white silk and handmade embroidery with real gemstones and solid gold for the silent bell. Even the bow on the back of the collar is large and beautiful, she’s worth more than the students that actually visit the cafe and you hope you aren’t robbed.
Kalim does play favorites but also doesn’t. Things are very clear he has a favorite cat but he will play with any and every cat that approaches him. He respects your do not disturb the cat rule, really, but he just really wants to pet every single kitty. He always says he wants to try one of the pcs but ends up forgetting as he works on his homework failing to pay attention while petting Taffy and giving her kisses and then eventually falling asleep because he’s all tired out. He has read a few of the mangas but he reads it to Taffy specifically and Jamil has to remind him to be quiet for your other guests. He may have also asked his family to visit your cafe so you may be visited by one of the world’s richest couple in the future when the campus opens for outside guests.
Overall a great guest for the cats but a nightmare for you as he looks like a sad puppy when you refuse to let him buy treats. Also occasionally forgets and makes a loud noise when he enters and sees his favorite cat, and he can be a little distracting because he can’t sit still for too long at times.
POMEFIORE. vil schoenheit.
VIL SCHOENHEIT.
“When in Twisted Wonderland did this happen..?” You mutter to yourself as you brewed another cup of tea for Vil using the brand he specifically gave you for himself when he visited. He was adamantly refusing to even set foot in your guest room after hearing what you had done, but now Rook was taking a photo of him elegantly sitting down in one of your lounge chairs with a cat on his lap, purring loudly looking at the camera as though she understood how to pose and was a natural born model.
You bring the tea over to his table as he thanks you, lifting the cup and saucer elegantly as Rook takes a photo, already singing praises on how great it would look on his magicam as Vil looks confidently smug. You couldn’t believe this all happened just because Rook had said something about Neige and how cute it would be for a boy like him to be surrounded by cats. “Thank you for your patronage.” You say with a small smile on your lips, amused. Well at least a happy Vil is free promotion for your business on campus.
Vil was happy for you, really, but he was not going to visit the cat cafe even if you pleaded by his feet and rose someone from beyond this mortal realm to drag him in. That was until he heard Rook talking to you and Epel about how Neige would surely be so beautiful surrounded with cats and you agreeing and throwing in a comment about how it would make him seem more likeable and relatable. He knew Rook was a Neige fanboy but he couldn’t have you converting into one too, are you forgetting he’s the fairest of them all, and the only celebrity you should praise like that? If it is relatability you truly desire he can spare one afternoon at your cat cafe since he needs to check up on the place his dorm members have been spending their time at recently to ensure it is up to Pomefiore standard.
He originally looked as though he was going to fight one of the cats with how he was trying to mentally tell the long haired cats to stay away from him. He was so intimidating to even the cats that none were willing to approach him but one, a very snooty girl that begun pawing at his ankles, jumping up into his lap and kneading him as she claimed her seat. He found her demeanor pleasantly charming as she wasn’t that furry and she was good enough, he thought. He managed to get some high quality photos that did trend on magicam for the rare domestic sight of the Vil Schoenheit and a cat. It was surprisingly soothing for him and he did eventually come back where the cat once again claimed him as her’s.
His favorite cat is a siamese with cream white fur and black siamese patterns and bright blue eyes. She’s rather thin and does not shed fur all over his lap like some of the other cats. He makes sure to keep her fur shiny as he brushes her down and uses some toys on her. He refrains from often buying treats as she doesn’t seem fond of them and he doesn’t want her to be too overfed, a model should keep a strict diet. Her collar was replaced without even informing you, the old white one did not fit his or apparently her standard so he simply had to replace it for her. It was a pretty fancy dark blue color with golden engravings in the pattern of pomefiore’s insignias, a purely custom design, with a pretty bow in front, with a silent bell. It’s hard to believe she was ever a stray at one point.
He does not entertain most of the other cats beyond looking at them as he pets Iris. He knows his cat is a complete snob and will likely not entertain other guests, perched up high in her cat tree bed until he comes along so he would never cheat on her with being another cat’s dad. He has full faith that he is the only one that she will ever go to so he does try to stop by every once in awhile to make sure she’s getting the attention and grooming that is needed for a cat of her standard. He’s not into your gaming pcs or your manga corners, but does appreciate you do have school textbooks to borrow and a quiet study nook so that he can elegantly pet Iris with a cup of fine tea while doing his assignments as Rook fawns over them.
Overall a very good guest as long as you leave him alone. Follows your rules, does not talk loudly or much, and goes above and beyond with taking care of your cat that you begin to think it’s actually his cat he’s just letting you keep. You’re a little concerned he may just tell you he’s taking your cat with him once you graduate, but he is a rather good cat dad, at least!
IGNIHYDE. idia shroud.
IDIA SHROUD.
“I-di-a” You coo, bending down and whispering in the ear of the man currently on the floor, two cats surrounding him as he feeds them cat treats. The blue haired boy physically jolts upwards letting out a small whimper of utter shock of being spoken to as you chuckle. “Are you having fun?” You ask as he blushes, looking away from you as he turns his attention back to the cat pawing at his pant leg. “Ehehe, this is even better than watching the series finale to an anime live.” He whispers as one of the orange kitties crawls into his arms, headbutting him.
“You flatter me, glad to know you think so highly of my hard work. Ahem, our hard work.” You say as you pick up the other kitty, fixing their collar as you lightly run your fingers through the cat’s fur. Giving the cat a kiss to his nose and boop, you set him back down as you notice Idia staring at you only to blush insanely red as he looked away quickly from being caught. “Thank you for your hard work… prefect.” He quickly whispers much to your amusement.
Idia has become the number one patron. From the second class ends to the time you close for the evening Idia is right there petting the kitties. He’d actually volunteered to work for free, not as a waiter or anything but as a sort of cat playmate. He’d make sure the cats are satisfied and not bored and no one can touch him or look at him, but you said no, he needs to share the cats.
He’s the reason your wifi is amazing despite your run down dorm, and he makes sure absolutely everything regarding technology is perfect. It took him a bit to understand what you want and why that was necessary beyond you just saying cat cafes in your world have these things, but he understands what bliss is now. Anytime some machine seems even remotely broken he fixes it at a record pace.
His favorite cat had claimed him awhile back. A pure white ragamuffin that is extremely fluffy. The cat is extremely docile and she’d claim her spot in his lap, purring as he’d read manga or play on one of the cafe pcs, occasionally nibbling his finger when he squirms too much from gamer rage. Her original collar was a nice shade of orange, but he not so subtly changed it into one he got. A pretty light baby blue shade with small jewel engravings, a little silent bell at the front with a pretty bow on the back with golden stripes. You are partially convinced he genuinely does believe Ivory is his firstborn child.
He does play with other cats but has a favorite. He always pays for one cat popsicle a day at minimum to feed the cats and pays for other cat treats whenever he can because he is weak. He also is rigged at crane games so he can easily snack through the day never leaving the cafe. There are occasions you tell him stop feeding human snacks to the cat, they will get chubby. He ends up looking super offended on behalf of the kitties you dare said any one of them are chubby. When he’s not pampering the cats you can find him gaming in one of the pcs, grinding through an event. At moments like these do not approach him and leave him alone so he can forget he is actually in public and not his bedroom.
Overall a very respectful guest. He’s quiet, makes sure to respect the boundaries of the cats and the rules you’d set up, and does not cause any scenes. The only issue is getting him to leave may be a little difficult as he tries to give one more kiss… Or that he tries to come on your days off just to keep the little babies company. there’s also the occasion every so often that you can feel his gaze on you, only for you to catch him as he hides his face, the tips of his hair turning pink as he watches you work.
DIASOMNIA. malleus draconia.
MALLEUS DRACONIA.
“Child of man, could I please have one of those.. cat ice creams I believe they’re called?” Tsunotarou asked, eyes sparkling ever so slightly in childlike wonder as you let out a charming laugh, handing him a popsicle that was specifically made for cats to eat. He had always been fond on ice cream but now he had the ability to share it with someone else he liked, the cat that had claimed him a few weeks ago.
“Just one though, we don’t want to feed them too much now.” You say but know it will fall on deaf ears as you didn’t wish to ruin his fun. You didn’t think he had experience with cats before so you were pleasantly surprised one of your cats had practically claimed him, but it all worked out. “Worry not child of man, I won’t give him too many treats. Though I’m sure if I too were eating your cooking right now I wouldn’t be able to stop myself either.” Flustered by his comment, you leave him to play with the cat as you retreat behind the counter, he really was dangerous for reasons different than rumors.
He heard about your business venture from Lilia and was ready to pay a visit not caring if he scared off your guests but halted in his tracks when he heard you telling Sebek you were going to invite him. His mind tells him he has won the lottery and he retreats to fix his outfit waiting in the lounge for an hour until you reach Diasomnia’s doorsteps to speak with him. He is not listening as you greet him with a hug and tell him you’d like for him to come to Ramshackle for a surprise. Something about you also not opening the cafe today so it’d just be you and him so he’d be comfy, there’s really no reason to try and continue speaking he’s been charmed for over an hour, prefect.
He practically vibrates from sheer joy as he’s frozen, then rapidly shaking, then beaming as a cat waltzes up to him as though he owns the prince. He basically blue screens momentarily as the cat with such soft fur and pure innocent eyes meows up at him, pawing at his feet to be picked up. He picks up the cat as you watch curiously, finally figuring out he wasn’t listening to you at all as he stares at the cat’s eyes and then your’s. “Our child is beautiful.” He says as you raise a brow, shrugging it off as you tell him you’d brew him a black coffee and to sit wherever he would like. He instead chooses to sit at the counter bar, watching you and the cat that’s on his lap nipping at his fingers and demanding his attention as well. For the first time in awhile he feels as though something doesn’t fear him other than you.
His favorite cat is a ragdoll cat with white fur and black splotches and deep blue eyes. He claims this cat is your child and you have no idea what he’s thinking of but he seems happy as he shamelessly pulls out a cat toy and plays with him. Also slightly insults the cat by calling him brave or stupid as though a cat can comprehend what he means while mewling at him. Also asks you if he can also have a custom collar after Lilia tells him about his cat, and after you allow him to replace the old red collar he’s excited. Black is the color of royalty in the briar valley and Oatmeal has the privilege of wearing it on his new collar. A pretty black collar with green wings beside a silent bell that may be made of actual gold, along with a little dragon hood-cape and short plush horns you got him so your boys match.
Very possessive of Oatmeal. He will applaud other cats if they dare approach him but everyone knows he has a bias. He practically has been claimed by his cat and no one else is brave enough to go near his cat and no cat is brave enough to approach him, they are a perfect match. He has tried to take your cat back to Diasomnia but you have to remind him that the cat stays with you, he needs a proper schedule, friends, and he needs to stop being fed so many treats. He’s also incredibly smug about it and will come to the cafe on your off days as he talks to you petting Oatmeal and glaring at Leona on the opposite couch who’s busy petting Nebula but refrains from getting physical or suffer your wrath. You’d kicked both men out for an entire weekend.
Overall a good guest personally, but his reputation may cause some people to be scared of visiting. Regardless, he’s very polite to you and treats his cat very good, making sure to give him treats and enough exercise with a toy. May also overpay for coffee and start fights with Leona when you aren’t even open yet. In fact, how on earth did the two of them even get into your cafe? You literally just woke up and they’re spitting insults at one another.
EPILOGUE.
“Fnaygh! I guess I really am a business genius, Henchman.” Grim said as he dug into a can of fancy tuna, one that you had bought without having to worry about your budget for once. You expected success from Ignihyde students, but it seemed like your little business venture went above and beyond with students from all different dorms trying to be booking ahead of time and trying to visit your cat cafe.
“Right right, you’re the genius, Grim.” You laugh in response to your friend as you finished checking on the other cats, finishing up for the evening. In terms of profit, almost every single day you were fully packed with as much people you’d allow in at once, and you had to temporarily increase the charging rates. Despite the increase people still begun to visit, who knew the school filled with villainous kids would be so excited to pet some cats? Especially your regulars, they adored these cats enough they got the cats gift, not you, but the cat.
It was tough work to manage the guest room cafe all by yourself though, you had to admit to yourself. Perhaps you should take up Ace’s offer and idea at hiring some part time employees, your first year friends had already offered, so maybe you’d start training them for help?
a bit of a long post but i have had this thought for awhile ever since reading Idia’s guest room lines? So I figured I would just turn my headcanon into an actual written work. I have more ideas though for a separate post, but I am unsure if I’ll post it, but I do need to share my thought’s of Floyd’s favorite cat being a sphynx cat named prune that is very vocal and has a cozy ugly little sweater that Floyd likes to bathe with you.
WARNINGS suggestiveness !!!! flins makes innuendos, trigger warning for second hand embarrassment in wanderers ngl, lohen’s a little weird, kay? is he considered a yandere idfk im not well versed enough in that but he is pretty obsessed with reader
NOTES writing before lohens release so take his characterization with a heap of salt. also ignore typos this was written off of a blunt lmao.
fem!reader !!! she/her pronouns are used
VARKA
if you could use one word to describe grandmaster varka it would be irritating.
blowing away and splattering all the food you’re delivering with his vision accidentally while playing around with klee? irritating. getting down on his knees, kissing your hand and swearing on his knighthood he’s sorry in front of everyone in mondstadt’s square? even more irritating. spilling his ginormous cup of beer on your dress when you happen to both be out at the same time—do you even need to say it? it’s irritating.
you appreciate what he does as a grandmaster for the greater people of mondstadt but barbatos does he hinder your life. if anyone asked you, you’d prefer to stray away from wherever he ends up.
he feels contrary to you. he thinks you’re fascinating. gorgeous, pristine, kind-hearted, intelligent, and by the archons does he love your cooking at the good hunter. he’s irrevocably endeared with you. if anyone were to ask him, he’d say he’d like to be (honored to be) in your presence constantly. it really is a shame his motor and social skills run out the window whenever you’re around. i mean the only reason he vision-malfunctioned was because his brain dead-stopped seeing you looking all pretty. he may be the grandmaster and greatest hero of mondstadt but he is a man after all. at least that’s how he sees it.
he’s aware you don’t like hate him, he’s aware his initial attempt at your forgiveness made you more embarrassed and upset than you already were, but if he’s one thing, it’s an alcoholic perseverant. so he will try everything in his power to win you over!
carrying bags? he’ll swing by and take those off your hands…maybe flex his muscles a little bit in front of you too but that’s totally unintentional. worried about creeps on your walk home before leaving the angel’s share? diluc move, varka’ll walk you back! believe me if you barged into the KoF headquarters and asked him to do something, he’d drop all his work in an instant to get it done… just please don’t hate him anymore.
you essentially have him on a leash, at least that’s what diluc tells you while sliding you over a drink.
you hate to admit that he is useful…sometimes.
you’re coming back to mondstadt with a delivery payment when hillichurls corner you halfway back. shit. you’re mulling over what the fuck do do when a slice of air flies past you and the hillichurls dissipate at the hands of two greatswords before you can even process it.
there’s the grand master, broad shoulders, scruffy blond hair and all, standing before you and towering over your frame.
“are you alright, ma’am?” he asks, voice laced with concern. of course he still insists upon calling you ma’am.
you mutter something’s small about being fine, flustered with how his bright blue eyes and annoyingly cute dimples stare down at you.
“well then it seems my job here is done. would you like me to walk you back to the city, ma’am?”
“i-it’s fine—just thank you.” you probably look like an idiot right now, craning your neck to look up at him and a stupid awkward grimace because you’re flustered. curse varka and his endearing smile. curse him especially for what you do next—varka’s fault of course. you shift all your weight to your tippie-toes and lean upwards just in time to kiss him on his cheek, right beneath his most prominent scar. you don’t think you’ve ever seen him so flustered.
he tries to say something but mumbled gibberish just comes out. his skin flushes marinara sauce red, his hands tense up and twitch, his stupid smirk transforms into a nervous awestruck half smile like a bee-stung dog.
you turn and walk away, just as flustered as he, muttering a barely coherent, “bye, sir varka.” and he just stands there like an idiot, hands still twitching and wandering randomly like he doesn’t know what to do with them (he’s nervy okay). by the time his hands finally know what to do, one of them drifts up to trace over where you kissed (blessed him essentially) his cheek like he’s not sure if you just did that. you did. he knows this is not very knightly language but holy shit.
no one’s sure why but the grandmaster seems to be in extra good spirits the following week.
FLINS
you swear to the archons flins was put on teyvat specifically to frustrate you.
him and his stupid flirty comments, stupidly handsome face you roll your eyes at, his ‘gentlemanly’ demeanor and his incredibly long eyelashes you’re honestly kinda jealous of. they’re all exceptionally frustrating.
if you hear “m’lady” or “allow me” (typically as he redirects you from a gathering of wild hunt and insists upon protecting you) in that smooth, droning voice again you’ll send his pasty ass back to snezhnaya yourself.
and the insistence upon taking your hand as he leads you back to the nearest area cleared of the wild hunt before returning to his post is absurd.
oh and then there’s the rather suggestive and frankly embarrassing comments.
arguing about how you are able to defend yourself and aren’t his damsel in distress to project his savior complex on— “solving this dilemma will not be hard. i believe i can satisfy your nerves in many, many ways m’lady.”
disgusted by the smell of fire-water on his breath as you both end up at the flagship coincidentally— “my apologies, miss. i did not think i was close enough to you for you to catch a whiff of my breath,” he laughs in a low drawl that upsets you further. “and to think i was mulling over getting closer.” i mean what the hell does that mean ???
him jumping in and saving you from those weird abyssal eyes—“as expected, i’m sure you’re a commodity to all eyes.”
and every single time he chuckles as you fluster and snap your head away, still staring at you with those bright yellow eyes that occasionally drift lower as you look away. that stupid chuckle that makes you feel halfway to hell. and the immediate follow up of “i assure you i do not intend to mock you.” yeah, right.
yeah, the ‘gentleman act’? you’re not buying it. you find the act unbearable, especially when he’s constantly following you around.
patrolling? flins somehow find himself there, claiming he’ll help since it’s his ‘downtime’. isn’t he supposed to be working constantly?
“it’s quite disheartening to see your distain for me. i presumed i’d grow on you but you still drive me away.”
“well i’d like you much better if you stopped following me around everywhere like a lost puppy.”
“i admit i have an affinity for you, i think anybody can assume that much.”
“well your mocking laughter and judgmental stares don’t convey that, sir flins.”
“i can assure you the looks are not judgemental, it’s placed in admiration, m’lady.” he pauses. “and you may call me kyryll, i insist.”
you stutter, flustered from him again. “shut up! go patrol on that side if you’d like to be in my good graces.”
“as you wish, m’lady.”
“stop calling me that!”
you’re still under the assumption he does this purely to annoy you, maybe one day you’ll realize he just wants that cookie so effing bad.
WANDERER
he does NOT care what you think about him… okay maybe he does… just a little bit tho. and he will NEVER admit it.
you’re a fellow student at the akademiya who is honestly fed up with his terribly annoying ego. he acts as if he’s entitled to something—as if he was like an important figure in an important organization at one point… like??
his fuckass hat and his even worse ego drive you especially mad when you’re assigned to peer review each other and he’s so pissy the whole time.
unbeknownst to you he’s not that big of a dick, close to half of it is a little tsundere persona to make you think he’s just playing hard to get. that way, he won’t have to do all the cringy “asking each other out” and, what he calls “ushy mushy romantic” things. ew.
so instead he’s spewing things like, “how in teyvat did you even get through the entrance exam if this is how your work looks?”
“you might aswell start over.”
he knows your work is good, probably better than his, but he’s trying to play hard to get—don’t you get it? unfortunately you don’t and you are sick of it.
“you know, wanderer, maybe if you got rid of that sorry excuse for a haircut you could get women on your dick and stop taking out all your frustrations on my work.” and then you storm out… babe not acquired :/ and wait—is his haircut really that bad? aunty nahida said he looked handsome… :(((
maybe that’s when he realizes he’s being a little too harsh and that his little tsundere act to try and get you to be into him won’t work.
he physically cannot ask anyone else for relationship advice out of embarrassment though so he will suffer in silence (he’s dramatic it’s really not that bad) for a while.
right up until the archons themselves bless him and give you two a group project together (along with other people but they don’t really matter to him). unfortunately, after your last interactions you want utterly nothing to do with him. his extremely blunt and non constructive criticism from before has in fact bit him in the ass.
maybe he needs to swallow his pride and ask for advice—not maybe, he does. but archons this really sucks. so he sends an anonymous letter to yae publishing house, apparently his mom’s girlfriend is pretty good in this whole romance thing so maybe she’ll help.
he gets his advice… it just turns out this influenced yae miko to develop a new short romance gl novel based on this experience. sure, nobody knows the new best seller is based on his (non-existent) romance scene and now turned lesbian but he can’t help but be embarrassed every time he sees it sitting shelved in a stall.
he takes the advice, leaves a corny letter by your apartment door step (in which he bolted away from incase anybody saw him) and said an…APOLOGY. very rare from him so you better not take this for granted. he felt so goddamn embarrassed the next time he saw you on campus—so embarrassed he was actually begging the archons that someone kills him when you greeted him.
you will unfortunately have to be the one to ask him out though—he just gets so nervy!! he ignored that part of the advice from the letter—and the part suggesting he grip your thigh to ‘assert dominance’ ??? what type of things are her and his mom into ?yuck! but he will be so corny the whole time you’re out on your first date. guy is tryna act like a nonchalant cool guy the whole time it’s like actually embarrassing. but it’s even more embarrassing when he gets flustered or asked something he didn’t rehearse in the mirror beforehand.
“so, wanderer, what do you like to do?”
“i don’t like a lot of things.”
“am i one of them?”
“uh..um—y-yeah, sure.” (picture this with a voice crack halfway through i’m dying)
somehow he does manage to bag you—probably only because of his face because archons does this man not know how to smooth talk.
he’d like to thank himself, kinda yae miko and a first date tips book he discretely took and returned to/from the akademiya library.
LOHEN
this vice captain has it BAD for you, his subordinate, and frankly it’s bad for you because of how much he follows you around like an annoying bug. as in an annoying fly that won’t go away and continues to buzz around in your face.
make a suggestion that he really has no business listening to as your superior? you’re immediately getting hit back with a, “yes! what an amazing idea!” running a secret mondstadt holiday gift exchange? he will purposefully pick your name and go way above the suggested mora pricing. on that note i think he’d be so upset if you got another person—worse enough another man that’s TALLER </3. and yes on every single matter he will default to your opinion !
i’d assume everybody else is probably terribly annoyed with his very clear favoritism…including you. he thinks he’s being so romantic and so sweet, meanwhile you’re like “huh?” every time he follows you around like a golden retriever, or more accurately a weird, scruffy little stray husky that you fed crumbs once and keeps coming back to your door step.
makes it so clear he wants you around. he is so damn insistent you’re free to come to his office with any questions whenever—code for: “please please please come to my office oh barbatos if you love me she’ll come to my office and she’ll profess her love to me”
unfortunately for him when you actually do go to his office, it’s to tell him to not be so clear with his favoritism as your colleagues and comrades have started to hate you. aw man :(((
he infact does not stop though because he #wantsthatcookie. and like c’mon can you just do that professing love thing already—does barbatos really not love him :/ he’s already defeated and brought back a ruin guard’s part for you, claiming it was “out of appreciation for his hardest working subordinate”, isn’t that romantic enough ? you stared at him and asked why he thought you would like that. hmm maybe he should try more conventional gifts.
eventually somebody has to sit him down and tell him that showing his very obvious obsession with you in all the ways he does will not get him the girl. okay fine whatever he’ll try “asking you on a date” eyeroll. and “not following you around begging for your attention” ughh. fine.
believe his surprise when you actually like it better when he’s normal about you. he even heard through the grapevine you said he’s looked “better” lately. now you blush and happily accept when he offers to take you out for drinks. was it really that simple from the start? (yes it really was)
that whole night he’s just talking your ear off but it’s honestly kind of… endearing? it’s like if that stray little husky got his coat washed and groomed.
the night ends with a kiss on his cheek and oh my archons he’s over the moon. guys fighting demons to not act all obsessed again—keyword act. this man would let you feed him to wolves of wolvendom and like it.
but he does use his weirdo rizz on you and it does work. not even satirically, surprise to everybody, he does end up with the girl—so fuck you to barbatos and everyone else that doubted him. you are in for a RIDE once you’re together. do not expect to be separated from him at all. and now he actually has an excuse to be completely off his rocker when another person talks to you. his nightmares probably consist of you going on an expedition with another man honestly.
"Maybe you should head to the store to get a new personality so you can get some hos on your worm and then maybe you won't be buried 3 ft deep because you've only ever been half a man." - Me, 7/16/2025 - Playing Minecraft with friends while yelling at a baby zombie in the discord chat.
out of curiosity, what was the inspiration for the heart swap between nari and the lamb? I saw some cool art for it while trawling through the tag and got curious :)
*rubs grimy little hands together* TROD AU spoilers below
So back in 2023 I was floating the idea of how those two would share the Red Crown, both in a logical stand-point and how exactly the characters would come to that state because lets face it, there's no possible way Narinder OR Lamb would be willing to give up the entity of the Red Crown's power given the context of the situation, and that neither one of them had communicate to each other's intentions in the AU (mainly Narinder cause godly pride and he's got the social skills of a doorknob)
But I got to thinking, keep in mind this is before any of the updates for relics came out. What is the one thing you rip out from bishops when you kill all of them? The Heart.
Who is the One antagonist in the game, the main secret antagonist, and god, who's heart you DON'T rip out when you defeat/kill them?
The One Who Waits. Narinder. He's the only one who's heart you don't rip out when you kill him
SO. What if this pattern continued. What if, for some reason, his heart did get ripped out?
That got me brainstorming as to the 'how and why' and eventually spiraled into the whole Somehow and someway, Narinder's heart was ripped out during the final battle, 'given' to the Lamb, and survived through (detail I cannot reveal yet) and now the Red Crown is shared between the two of them because of this horrible, horrible decision.
(For spoiler reasons I cannot tell you how exactly it got to that point in the final battle. The Lamb and Narinder have amnesia for a reason.)
I really, really started falling in love with the idea that this transplant happened, not only because of the symbolism and romantic theme of it and all, but it gave me like a pretty solid explanation as to how the crown is shared.
Gonna use this as an excuse to post old doodles. I started a comic with the Red Crown starting dialogue around it a bit a year or so but I don't know if I ever posted it, I ended up getting distracted and dropping it before I got to anything decent-
OLD ART WARNING. It's so old it was made in Paint Tool Sai, apologies
TLDR I got the idea because TOWW is the one antagonist/God who's heart we don't rip out during the final battle, and I imagined 'what if it was. What if somethings happened and what are the consequences of that'
I love it when the crown gives commentary. Ultimate third wheel but is somehow the only thing keeping the friendgroup together. A cute little accessory with a sassy opinion, a love for drama and the ability to lob your head off.
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