The Local Wizard

I have glitter in my pockets

[thelocalwizardsblog]

Hello fellow wizards (or most any other magical being for that matter),

I have come to realise that when it comes to the treatment of wounds or ailments, there is a lack of sufficient knowledge amongst us.

I will therefore be compiling a list of common magical ailments and the most simple treatments for them. I of course realise that the most effective course of action for such ailments would be to seek the aid of an apothecary or other professional such as myself, however due to the extortionate prices (I am ashamed to say I once saw a fellow apothecary, who I at the time considered a friend, attempt to charge the soul of some poor wizards familiar for the treatment of mere toadpox!) and quite frankly ridiculous waitlists, this is unfortunately inaccessible for the majority of magical folk.

I will of course specify the magical creatures my suggested treatments will work on and provide alternatives for those it will not, but I realise that some ailments may unfortunately slip my mind, so please do suggest any you may be struggling with and inform me of your species so I can suggest the most effective magical cure for your kind.

[wormtoxin]

You thought you could hide. You thought you could just wait it out. You were wrong. You can’t escape my wrath. It’s time for some ocean facts.

Paleodictyon Nodosum is a creature we’ve never seen alive, but whose distinctive hexagonal burrows we only recognize in the deep sea from 500 million-year-old fossils.

Brine pools are underwater reservoirs of dense, hyper-salty water. Living mussels form the banks of these deep-sea seas, but the water is so salty that anything that enters will die of toxic shock.

Venus’ Flower Basket is a sponge made of glass-like silica. A certain shrimp enters when they are larvae, but grows too large to leave the sponge by the holes through which they entered. Mated pairs of shrimp will spend the rest of their lives trapped in the sponge together.

Since red light has a long wavelength, it’s filtered out within 100 meters from the surface. Many deep-sea animals are red in order to hide better. However, the Black Dragonfish has a bioluminescent red spotlight. Since prey hasn’t evolved to see red, it’s practically invisible.

Okay, that’s all for now! Thanks for reading!!

[thelocalwizardsblog]

sorry folks but I gotta do this at least once a year to appease my emotional support skeletons so I might as well get it over and done with

I cast

Zonked out of your gourd!🍃🍃😱

(don't worry it'll only last a couple of hours)

[enlightenedshadowwizard]

[same-picture-of-a-rock-every-day]

Follow for the same picture of a rock every day

[ image id: a picture of a grey and white rock on a white background, with a stock photo water mark overlaid on it end id]

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Spooky rock

[blacktipreefsharkwizarding]

Wait okay hold on

TUMBLR WIZARDS OR WIZARDPOSTING ADJACENT ACCOUNTS PLEASE VOTE

Which one of these do you have?

Autism/ADHD/Both

Cluster A personality disorder, psychotic disorder, schizophrenia

Cluster B personality disorder

Cluster C personality disorder

Anxiety

Depression

Intellectual or developmental disorder

Dissociative disorder

Two or three of these (reblog/comment)

Four or five of these (reblog/comment)

All of these

Something else (reblog/comment)

Voting ended onNov 7, 2023

REBLOG FOR BIGGER SAMPLE SIZE PLEASE

[deadmage01]

wizards and witches make a potion that matches your blog challenge but tag game

link

non obligatory tags:

@good-wizard @f4y3w00d5 @ashen-the-tiefling @combustion-witch

[mycelium-wizard]

[thelocalwizardsblog]

wasn't tagged but I thought it seemed fun

[gavamont]

A wizard that uses a really long eye shadow pencil as his magic staff. He has the magical ability to know every emo concert happening within 500 miles and knows all the best goth clubs.

[magick-memes]

[yet-another-moron]

[yet-another-moron]

[art-of-idleness]

This is me writing fanfiction btw (if you even care)

[the-gnomish-bastard]

going to join the minecraft server?

I uh… I only have it on VR

[mnpt-official]

ONLY on vr???

first of all based

second of all doesn't that mean you own a minecraft account? just download the PC version

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Haha! Assuming I have a pc capable of running modern Minecraft.

[willowcrowned]

thinking about bank robberies in the 30s makes me soooooooo angry. those days you could just pull out some guns with your friends and get away scot free. now you have to deal with security cameras and metal detectors and they don’t even have big vaults full of gold like they used to. technology ruined the bank robbing industry

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Are… are you Hoxton from Payday?

[gnomishgimmy]

Just like how WEED KILLER damaged DRUIDIC COMBAT........

[the-gnomish-bastard]

DON’T YOU ADVOCATE FOR THOSE HIPPIES

[gnomishgimmy]

I AM ONE OF "THOSE HIPPIES"!!!! I WILL SEAL YOU IN YOUR TOWER WITH ALL THE FALLEN LEAVES NEARBY!!!!!!!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I WILL BURN THEM ALL AND THEN TEACH YOU WHAT HAPPENED THE LAST TIME ONE OF MY COUSINS FUCKED WITH ME

[gnomishgimmy]

I'LL GET THE FUCKIN CIRCLES ON YOUR ASS!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I’LL PUT YOU THROUGH THE MACHINE

[gnomishgimmy]

I'LL TURN YOUR DUMB TOWER INTO MULCH FOR MY PLANTS!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I’LL PUT YOU BACK IN

THE PIT

[gnomishgimmy]

FOOL, I'VE ALREADY FILLED THE PIT WITH LEAVES!!! THERE'S NO WAY I COULD FIT BACK DOWN THERE!!!!!!!!!! I THINK!!!!!!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

CHECK AGAIN, CUNT!

*the leaves are gone, and the surrounding area is burned*

[gnomishgimmy]

YOU!!!

YOU!!!!

YOU!!!!!!

YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

SHUT UP

[gnomishgimmy]

YOU'LL PAY!!! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I STEAL! I HAVEN’T PAID FOR SHIT IN 53 YEARS

[gnomishgimmy]

THAT'S IT!!!! I'M TAKING YOUR STAIRCASE!!! IM STEALING IT!! THE WHOLE THING!!!!!!!!!

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Oh please, you don’t even have the balls to try and get in my tower.

[gnomishgimmy]

I HAVE A 30 FOOT BURROW SPEED, YOU ARE MISTAKEN.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

Only 30 feet? I expected better from you.

[precariouswizardry]

[charlesoberonn]

"A little" is exactly how much time you'll live.

[thelocalwizardsblog]

augh! why is it the day I finish building my new tower on wizard island and moving my emotional support skeletons across from my wizard dungeon/reverse wizard tower at the old place a seeming bottomless pit opens up and devours it! for gods sake! whos doing is this >:O

[hellifiknowbud]

Oh that’s just pollution wizard, he does this from time to time. He’ll put everything back eventually when he collects all of your pollutants

[thelocalwizardsblog]

augh! why is it the day I finish building my new tower on wizard island and moving my emotional support skeletons across from my wizard dungeon/reverse wizard tower at the old place a seeming bottomless pit opens up and devours it! for gods sake! whos doing is this >:O

[pollution-wizard]

yeah sorry that was me. i've been coming up with new ways to collect pollution and litter for my POLLUTION RAY but the tracker and aiming is really off

[thelocalwizardsblog]

you know what, its ok, i was kind of regretting using termite infested wood to build it anyways. i really underestimated the amount of birds it would attract.

anyways I've found a perfectly lovely cave nearby which i think i shall turn into my new dungeon!

(ps, if your ever in need of any radioactive pollutants, my cave has a surprisingly large supply of Polonium, like seriously, when with it constantly decaying, the supply seems near endless)