Salut, et encore merci pour le poisson

[fsthhdwefg-deactivated20180515]

Star Wars is particularly good at tailoring its villains to what people of the time fear most: in the late 70’s/early 80’s, it was faceless, militaristic dictators, in the late 90’s/early 00’s it was shady politicians who seize power questionably and then immediately start wars with murky ulterior motives, and in the 10’s, it’s twentysomething white men with no self-control.

[closet-keys]

Booty shorts with two QR codes on the ass that lead to a PDF of The Communist Manifesto and a page where you can stream Scooby Doo

[wizardnuke]

fake relationship but its a king and his concubine that was once an amazing soldier but he couldn’t go up the ranks for whatever reason so the king was like listen. hear me out. you can be my strategy dude. u just gotta be okay w walking around shirtless a lot. and soldier dude is like man that’s an UPSIDE and yknow they end up falling in love

[aethersea]

some idiot advisor: I can’t believe his majesty lets his boytoy attend these council meetings, it’s an insult to the noble institutions that uphold our nation, it’s an outrage—

a somewhat smarter advisor: you’re just mad bc he pointed out how dumb your naval attack strategy and no one laughed when you made a mean joke about him

[fieldbears]

Boytoy has gone from a top fighter who was well respected but in constant danger to wearing silks and eating grapes on daises. That fucked up rotator cuff was the best thing to ever happen to him

[mzminola]

Bonus points: at least half the other concubines are experts in assorted fields, the monarch brings them to relevant meetings to both play up a reputation for frivolity, and make sure at least one person there doesn’t have an outside agenda.

[aethersea]

my harem? 

did you mean: my chief strategic advisors

[heavensghost]

Shirley Jackson, The haunting of hill house

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[justbadpuns]

woah

[greedyforlove]

[enzerusworld]

[danger]

Faber Franco

[misndrist-deactivated20210107]

i hate it when men make fun of women for being vain. like you’ve structured society in such a way that we spend our entire lives chasing after the fleeting moments where we really and truly feel good about our appearances and then have the audacity to mock us for trying to “look pretty” like you’re constantly telling us to? shut the fuck up.

[schweetheart]

“You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, put a mirror in her hand and you called the painting “Vanity,” thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for you own pleasure.” ― John Berger, Ways of Seeing

[queerbeerz]

I am screAMING

[jeanqrey]

Noticed you’ve copied my beard.

[docwsb]

[askarkham]

It’s like someone went crazy with a label maker and I love it.

[raeloganthesonic06fangirl]

How can you forget this gem??

[ultrainfinitepit]

Gotta keep that reigned in, bud.

Bonus:

[arsonsara]

Honestly though an all powerful, angelic deity treating Offerings of Crafts and Statues as Art Gifts from a Friend is wonderful.

[d1rtypaws]

When someone is explaining something to you and you get hit with the realization that you haven’t retained anything that has been said to you and the moment they stop talking you won’t be able to recall any part of it

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lately I’ve been doing this thing where when men give me shit at my job, I choose to instead speak to their wives/girlfriends/female counterpart. I had a dude today try to yell at me and I ignored him and instead spoke in a very level voice to his wife instead. He literally stomped his feet like a fucking toddler and said “stop ignoring me! I’m talking!” And his wife said “George, please use a quieter voice. You’re embarrassing me.”

[afronerdism]

You are a genius and I’m using this

[gluten-free-pussy]

Lol I learned it from my mom. She does this all the time and eventually the guy either sulks off somewhere or adjusts his behaviour and THEN she’ll address him. I did this with my friends puppies when I was training them and it works the same tbh

[jamaicanblackcastoroil]

[allthingshyper]

This is the kind of behavior you use on little kids, which I find both hilarious, disturbing and very telling of how little we expect men to GROW THE FUCK UP

[randomitemdrop]

Item: gem-encrusted demilich shoes, crafted by an incredibly powerful sorceress as punishment for a pair of demiliches that dared to oppose her, kept aware but immobile by the gems in their mouths. (source)