Short film based on my recent trip to India - I definitely ‘woke up’....

Origami Around

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Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
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@themichaeljay
Short film based on my recent trip to India - I definitely ‘woke up’....
India market 😍
2016 - Watching ‘Joy’ and having a moment.
Two things have just happened — I have come back from watching ‘Joy’ in the cinema, and logged onto my computer to off-load my aligning thoughts for my path in the next year/foreseeable future.
I logged onto my computer to immediately do something with this (somewhat small amount of) inspiration that I feel, which I only get from films. Watching films inspires me hugely. Reading stories and articles does too. Everyday life used to resonate with me, but as my environment hasn’t changed over the last two years, and I no longer work in a customer facing role, I miss people-watching. But I’m going to stop my thoughts there, I have a tendency to focus and moan about my situation for the lack of creative endevaours but if there is one lesson I have learnt from watching Joy is that I am at a point where I need to make a jump. A leap of faith. Jump shock me into working 200% again.
Joy is a story of success and a lot of failure. I have grown up in a society that , thanks to social media, is instinctively hyperbolic in the most positive way. From filters to exaggerated poses, from a superficial point of view; everyone is succeeding and nobody seems to fail. Isn’t that mad? Unhealthy? I can’t be the only one who feels there is an emptiness there. There is a unhappiness. A small, heavy feeling that sits slightly on top of my heart and deflates it when I get inspired by something. We are sold the idea that we are all here for a purpose and that we expect people to know who we are, but at the same time; lost. Diluted in the 3.17 billion internet users — with the majority having something to say. So then what’s the point? Why even bother?
This is why I love movies. Because ‘Joy’ sold me the American Dream ideology again, just when I needed it. As a Brit, it is easy to pass judgement — in fact I feel like it’s almost a birth-right… and I’m pretty sure it was the first conversation I had at school, aged 5. This film has reminded my of my times in America and why I want to go back. I remember the pre-conceived ideas I had of the people, the places and perhaps prejudices about bigger ideals, like the American Dream. My experience of this ideal isn’t a ‘make it or break it’ or as ‘cut throat’ as one might originally conceive, but rather ‘we’re all after the dream, lets lift each other up as we go’. This ideal is what I have experienced, and its something that my American friends should be proud of. As someone who works in London, I miss this positivity a lot. Something I feel we could learn from the land of the brave.
Joy taught me to not give up. I alway promised myself that I would never give up and I’ve come a very long way in a short period of time, but I’m finding that as I become older (a couple weeks before my 25th birthday) I feel consistently more anxious. I have been struggling now more than ever with motivation. I have so much I want to do that, like I mentioned above, I don’t know where to start and overwhelm myself (there’s a lot of articles and research on information paralysis and I’d be interested to know if it happens to creative types in their thought process). I’m not allowing myself to use my outlet because of probably many reasons, all of which is not important anymore. Hollywood has inspired me and if I could bottle up this motivation, this fire in my gut, I’d sell it.
Just like Joy.
Final instalment from my trip to Croatia! #takemeback
But since we have invented a consumer society, the economy must constantly grow. If it fails to increase, it's a tragedy. We have invented a mountain of superfluous needs. Shopping for new, discarding the old... That's a waste of our lives! When I buy something, when you buy something, you're not paying money for it. You're paying with the hours of life you had to spend earning that money. The difference is that life is one thing money can't buy. Life only gets shorter. And it is pitiful to waste one's life and freedom that way.
José Mujica, nicknamed Pepe Mujica, was President of Uruguay from 2010 to 2015. A former Tupamaros freedom fighter in the 60s and the 70s, he was detained, like a hostage by the dictatorship between 1973 and 1985. He advocates a philosophy of life focused on sobriety: learn to live with what is necessary and fairest. Taken from ‘HUMAN the movie’ https://youtu.be/4GX6a2WEA1Q?t=2m21s
Sunday 8:33pm Wet, dark October evening North London. I have recently finished working all weekend I can’t face the tube ride home. I request an Uber. Limbs slightly heavier, posture slightly lower, my head has ran out of space so I use my shoulders now for my incomplete thoughts and, well…the ideas I don’t want to forget. At the same time, I feel like there’s nothing in my head. I cannot tell if it is because I am tired that I am unable to complete a thought or because I am lost. Uber pins my location, but even then, the app has trouble calibrating. The process wheel rhythmically cycles; ‘Locating…’, trying to pin me down. Good Luck mate, I can’t even pin myself down. “Confirm your destination” the app asks. I don’t know. “Happiness?” “A life?” “A healthy amount of success, whatever success means?” “I’m sorry, would you like me to search the web for “A Waste of Life: How Michael Couldn’t Get it Right?” “Not now Siri!” “Did you say: Privileged & Moaning: How to Have Everything and Forget you do?” No results found. “Uber! Euston then, ya prick” Driver is three minutes away. I can’t do anything but stare. I don’t even focus my eyes, and watch the autumn weather play out a light show. He’s here. Eyelids heavy and face numb (after all, it is The Weeknd) I sit in the back of the car watching the changing traffic lights illuminate the wet surfaces around me. I play a fake racing game in my head with the raindrops on the window. The one I was betting on didn’t win. We spark up conversation, but it is very much one sided. I have never really enjoyed talking with the back of people’s heads, even if the street lighting on their bald neck-rolls is creating a face-like mirage in front of me. He tells me its late to be working, have I got any plans? The strip club, casino were his suggestions. I said I’ve left my strip club loyalty card at home and I really care about the stamp. I’m 2 away from a free visit. He doesn’t get it and I can’t be bothered to laugh. Internally my mood points rose by +3. I tell him I plan to go home and sleep. Then get up and go to work in 6 hours. “Oh man Michael, you have a boring life.” I check my phone, as notifications and likes save me from agreeing. But nothing, I got nothing.
Silicon Valley - West Coast
Silicon Valley - West Coast of the USA
Somewhere in Soho
For the first time in a long time I had a Friday evening free! What I mean is I shut my emails down and walked out of work at 5pm. I’ve decided to do more of this. I have been stupidly busy at work but its time to have more work/life balance and put my life first; or at least let my life be a contender (its not even close at the minute).
I dropped my friend Joe Allam a text and we met for a beer. It was still work (I got a freelance Instagram gig) but it didn’t feel like work. It actually turned into one of my favourite Friday nights in a long time. Joe’s girlfriend, Elly, met us after work and we drank and laughed and drank and laughed and made our way to a Mexican place.
Friday feels
I would go as far to say that - as someone who is always looking at the future and never really stays in the present - it forced me to be present, my Friday night was that good. It made me feel like I could consider London as somewhere to live. I lived here many times but with breaks back home. I have my sights set on New York but yesterday felt natural and so much fun.
I can’t wait for more!
Work/life balance kids! Its a difficult one when a good part of your job is a passion, its all too easy to sacrifice. But it turns out that I haven’t been living in London, even when I lived in London.
Montage of my life is what I’d make to this - Summer montage haha
Discovered this brilliant music through Tidal. I already feel like I’m back on top of a mountain and ready to be creative. Thanks Kiasmos! This is speaking to me!
Namaste away from my inbox
7 Days in Central Europe
I have had an incredible time over the last week. I hope I can travel some more in my life because meeting different people and living in a remote village has helped to put the pressures on modern/western world living into perspective.
Videos and photos to follow!
TheMichaelJay on Tumblr!
Oh hello, you’ve interrupted me - I now have a tumblr blog - which will work as a central place for all my content!
Enjoy!