2016 - Watching ‘Joy’ and having a moment.
Two things have just happened — I have come back from watching ‘Joy’ in the cinema, and logged onto my computer to off-load my aligning thoughts for my path in the next year/foreseeable future.
I logged onto my computer to immediately do something with this (somewhat small amount of) inspiration that I feel, which I only get from films. Watching films inspires me hugely. Reading stories and articles does too. Everyday life used to resonate with me, but as my environment hasn’t changed over the last two years, and I no longer work in a customer facing role, I miss people-watching. But I’m going to stop my thoughts there, I have a tendency to focus and moan about my situation for the lack of creative endevaours but if there is one lesson I have learnt from watching Joy is that I am at a point where I need to make a jump. A leap of faith. Jump shock me into working 200% again.
Joy is a story of success and a lot of failure. I have grown up in a society that , thanks to social media, is instinctively hyperbolic in the most positive way. From filters to exaggerated poses, from a superficial point of view; everyone is succeeding and nobody seems to fail. Isn’t that mad? Unhealthy? I can’t be the only one who feels there is an emptiness there. There is a unhappiness. A small, heavy feeling that sits slightly on top of my heart and deflates it when I get inspired by something. We are sold the idea that we are all here for a purpose and that we expect people to know who we are, but at the same time; lost. Diluted in the 3.17 billion internet users — with the majority having something to say. So then what’s the point? Why even bother?
This is why I love movies. Because ‘Joy’ sold me the American Dream ideology again, just when I needed it. As a Brit, it is easy to pass judgement — in fact I feel like it’s almost a birth-right… and I’m pretty sure it was the first conversation I had at school, aged 5. This film has reminded my of my times in America and why I want to go back. I remember the pre-conceived ideas I had of the people, the places and perhaps prejudices about bigger ideals, like the American Dream. My experience of this ideal isn’t a ‘make it or break it’ or as ‘cut throat’ as one might originally conceive, but rather ‘we’re all after the dream, lets lift each other up as we go’. This ideal is what I have experienced, and its something that my American friends should be proud of. As someone who works in London, I miss this positivity a lot. Something I feel we could learn from the land of the brave.
Joy taught me to not give up. I alway promised myself that I would never give up and I’ve come a very long way in a short period of time, but I’m finding that as I become older (a couple weeks before my 25th birthday) I feel consistently more anxious. I have been struggling now more than ever with motivation. I have so much I want to do that, like I mentioned above, I don’t know where to start and overwhelm myself (there’s a lot of articles and research on information paralysis and I’d be interested to know if it happens to creative types in their thought process). I’m not allowing myself to use my outlet because of probably many reasons, all of which is not important anymore. Hollywood has inspired me and if I could bottle up this motivation, this fire in my gut, I’d sell it.
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