The Miscarriage Poet

Miscarriage is a misnomer. Original poetry and art. Mother to Chloë Faye born at 18w5d—August 2, 2017

[themiscarriagepoet]

//Miscarriage is a misnomer.

We need better words. We deserve better words. Our experiences matter. Our children matter. Their deaths matter.

[themiscarriagepoet]

[themiscarriagepoet]

[themiscarriagepoet]

How is it okay that this is the word used to describe the death of our children, and their births? The loss of a baby is a birth, whether it was surgical, medical or happened on its own. It is not a heavy period, and for the love of all that is holy it is not a "corrupt or incompetent management" of a pregnancy. It is death. It is birth. It is the entire circle of life in a heartbreaking event. The definition above is the original meaning of the word. I can tell you this—it wasn't a woman, let alone a loss mother who decided to use it to describe our losses. And I am not okay with that. How about you? I would love to hear your thoughts. How do you prefer to describe what happened?

[themiscarriagepoet]

[themiscarriagepoet]

I think it is about time I introduce myself! I am a thirty-four year old mom of three (two living children and my darling daughter who lived and died—2017). I am a Canadian living in Montréal, but all my children were born in America. I will share more of my loss journey as we go along but I will share now that on August 1, 2017 I heard the words "there is no heartbeat" and felt myself crash through the floor. I was induced and delivered my beautiful baby girl the next day. I miss her with everything I am and started writing poetry about her and the experience almost immediately as a place to put my feelings. Three years later I started sharing my poetry in the hopes that it might benefit others going through the loss of their children. I know I read poetry as well to help me cope but found very little focused on the themes and topics surrounding baby loss. I hope it can serve in a small way to bring comfort to others and to break down the stigma that surrounds our losses.

[themiscarriagepoet]

A Winter Solstice/Yalda poem.

[themiscarriagepoet]

[themiscarriagepoet]

Art I made to accompany one of my poems—I will post it next. My first attempt at digital artwork.

[themiscarriagepoet]

When you are missing your baby during the holidays the phrase 'silent night' takes on a different meaning and winter beauty feels cold and unforgiving.

[bnmxfld]

“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

— Lemony Snicket / The Beatrice Letters

[surqrised]

“I’m not sure which is worse: intense feeling, or the absence of it.”

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[themiscarriagepoet]

Both hard. ❤️💔

[themiscarriagepoet]

I wrote this poem two years ago, and it was first published in Montréal Writes at that time.