Mothman

They/Them. Don't care for this newfangled technology

[coughloop]

cant afford therapy does anybody know any frasier kinnies

[musclemanveryregular]

You know who else knows any frasier kinnies?

[musclemanveryregular]

You know who else didn't mean to add that song to this post?

[your-fave-hates-jk-rowling]

YOU hate JK Rowling!

[lonleyinmyspacevoid]

[disco-cowboygirl-deactivated202]

[dahlias-love]

A-fucking-men to that!

[boring-anime-fan-deactivated202]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish. 

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond. 

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

[barin-mclegg]

I think this might be the best post of yours I’ve ever read

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

wat about the 1 directly above it???

[twisted-monarch]

This is so beautiful and uplifting that I’m going to abstain of looking for the other post in order to keep this wholesome feeling.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

IT’S NOT OPTIONAL YOU FUCK

[boopusdeloopus]

WHOLESOME ONLY

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

NO WHOLESOME ONLY CURSED

[honeyedheartss]

gaud, I feel like you would also be appreciative of these:

these are normal, average, pet store goldfish released into the wild and they become MASSIVE motherfuckers

very cursed and fits ur blog but also it’s super harmful to the environment bc they destroy the normal food chain and also reproduce pretty quickly and since they are just fancy carp, they revert back to brown in a few generations

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

what the FRESHWATER FUCK

[hedgehogcryptid]

that last one looks really out of its depth

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

please don’t take this personally but I am going to remove your organs one by one with a dinky pair of tweezers in the style of a sugar-high 6-year-old playing their first game of Operation

[weaselle]

gonna live in the moment and send you one of these pics each day, really seize this opportunity to send you daily gold fish. you know carp a dium

[themothofman]

I watched the hidenburg burn and your home will be next

[themothofman]

God is dead and mother earth is slowly dying

Do whatever you please, You want to eat another slice of cake? Do it

You want to fight the omnipotent owl that stares and speaks in riddles? Its your life buddy

You think kpop is good? Enjoy it

You miss 1478? Perish i guess, We cant go back

bake some bread

[themothofman]

So since Gavin is Gen Z and Hank is a Millennial we know that they 100% quote vines

Gavin: Road work ahead?

Hank, from across the precinct: UH YEAH, I SURE HOPE IT DOES

Connor, LED spinning red: ????

Hank: Four female ghostbusters?

Gavin, from Fowler’s office: The feminists are taking over!

In unison: IM AN ADULT VIRGIN

Connor, hiding under a desk: ???

[themothofman]

Stop reblogging this! I don't want this to be my most famous post!

[tampongrease]

Jaskier after Geralt yelled at him:

[astralejection]

you cant change my mind

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there are plenty of fish in the sea but not actually bc overfishing & pollution are huge problems. haven’t u noticed how expensive seafood is

[sapphireclawe]

This is an interesting analogy about dating too.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

oh no there are plenty of horny people actually

[stay-inside-the-salt-ring]

not if we starting hunting them, too

[waterberry-strawmelon]

Mood after seeing all the cishet nonsense in Rise of Skywalker

[firefox-official]

got these one after the other and read it like a bully

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

anon is ratatouilles abusive father

[justmebeingtheweirdmeiam-deacti]

RATATOUILLE IS NOT HIS NAME😭😭😭

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

youre right i was thinking of ratatouilles monster

[themothofman]

Who would win in a fight?

Stanley Fucking Uris. Stan is the ONLY loser who could win a physical fight? My evidence:

Eddie; Too Baby

Richie; He's a wimp

Bill; Also a wimp

Mike; He wouldn't get into a fight

Ben; He's too nice to fight

Bev; I love Bev as much as anyone but I don't think she'd win a fight. She wouldn't go down without giving the other person some injuries but she wouldn't win

Stan could absolutely destroy anyone in a fair fight. That's why Pennywise had to kill him, if he hadn't then Eddie would have survived and Pennywise wouldn't even get a chance to taunt them.

[dogpiling]

me walking into the third rail back private office in goodneighbor to witness winlock and barnes hounding maccready:

[dbhthingsandstuff]

RK900: The file is on your desktop. So is a muffin, orange juice and coffee.

Gavin: What would I do without you?

RK900: Starve.

[thebootydiaries]

girl in novel: hi my older brother who is 17 years old and popular, do you want breakfast ?

her brother: yes, remember when mom died when you were 4 and our dad is an alcoholic ?

[thebootydiaries]

The doorbell rings.

“I’ll get it!” My brother yells as my alcoholic father stumbles into the kitchen. He’s an alcoholic.

“Oh they must be here.” He grunts.

I freeze. “Who?”

“Your new owners. I sold you so I can pay for my alcohol addiction.” He slurs.

I start to sob.

“Hi.” Greets a booming voice, sending shivers down my spine. I turn around to come face to face with a tall figure. I gulp as Harry Styles cheekily grins back at me.

[llemonyfresh]

this post physically entered my DNA and rewired it via homologous recombination and now i have eczema

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

karp a didum my peeps

[momentofsanity]

‘Scuse me?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

squeeze the day

[xthexgardenxofxedenx]

This is so fucking funny to me idky

[motherfrigginpsas]

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

[feytaline-loves-deactivated2018]

For the love of god PLEASE REBLOG THIS

I see this stupid fucking post one a goddamn week and someone is going to literally fucking die from it

[abbessolute]

@oneshoeshort

[oneshoeshort-deactivated2021060]

IF YOU WONT LISTEN TO OP, LISTEN TO THE RETIRED PARAMEDIC WHO HAS SEEN PEOPLE DIE FROM THIS SHIT.

[sirro85-blog]

Poison control may advise diluting the toxin somehow like with water or milk, otherwise do not give them something to drink and take the empty pill bottle/ blister pack with you to the hospital.