Sapphire Clawe

So this is specifically for the blorbo that exists for D&D and a story/game I've been drafting in my head:

This question fully depends on how you'd interpret the concept of tricking a primordial god of extinction into not noticing a bunch of beings that actually had souls in order to keep them from being completely wiped out, because said primordial god wanted to keep sentience out of the world in order to avoid the consequences of being altered by beliefs changing.

sinizade

Wonder Woman and Steven Universe because they would be BESTIES

great-art-and-a-purple-tongue

If you've seen Justice League: War, you would know specifically that Wonder Woman (this version at least) LOVES ice cream. So she'd probably hang out in Beach City, eat Cookie Cats with Steven, and she might suggest making an ice cream sandwich using donuts.

Speaking of, might try to convince my fiancé to help me get the stuff together to try that this week.

sunderwight

Mulan AU where she does get caught by the other fresh recruits while she's bathing but Mushu helps her spin it like the lake is cursed by an evil lizard demon and will turn men into women if they stay in it for too long.

From there it's not actually difficult to get the other soldiers onboard with covering up the fact that poor Ping took one for the team and got afflicted by the vagina curse, especially since it would have been all of them if they hadn't gotten the warning ahead of time. So they agree to help him cover it up, because obviously the army's not going to understand.

Shang is... tentatively glad that the men are bonding and getting along, even if they continue to be deeply weird about it.

Ling: Hey man, what's up— you've got boobs?!?!

Mulan: Uh, what boobs? Huh? Where did these come from?

Mushu: *facepalms and thinks quickly* (speaks from the shadows) I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE LAKE! BEWARE MY CURSED WATERS FOR THEY WILL TURN MEN INTO WOMEN!

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: Oh no! The spirit of the cursed waters!

scribeofchaos

Chi-Fu: SHE'S A WOMAN LI SHANG!

Mulan: Look-

Ling, Yao, and Chien Po: WE CAN EXPLAIN!!

[One convoluted, chaotic explanation later]

Shang: ...is this why you've all been insisting we don't camp anywhere that doesn't have a lake.

Shang: and then none of you actually swim in it.

Shang: and you all keep jumping at shadows.

Shang: wait a second Ping did this happen before or after you became insanely good at fighting?

Shang: did you get better at fighting after you became a woman.

Shang: are women better at fighting than us.

Mulan: ....uh. well. maybe? no one's ever tried to find out.

Yao: [thinking very fast] y'know Captain it's just so hard to find recruits these days.

Chien Po: Real shortage of men.

Ling: Lots of women, though.

Mulan: [catching on] Without marriage prospects.

Shang: You're right, men. The spirits must have done this in order to show us that we should be recruiting women as fighters.

Mushu [from the shadows, seeing an opportunity to do the funniest thing]: EXACTLY, LI SHANG. I HAVE TRANSFORMED PING INTO A WOMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TOO LONG OVERLOOKED THE TRUE WAY TO WIN THE WAR.

Mulan [seeing an opportunity to get all the stories straight]: O Great Spirit, is it reversible?

Mushu: WHY WOULD YOU WISH TO REJECT MY GIFT? I HAVE SEEN YOUR HEART, CHILD, AND HAVE ALREADY ALTERED THE MEMORIES OF EVERYONE WHO KNEW YOU BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR THE ARMY. YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THEIR DAUGHTER.

Li Shang: Welp, the spirits have spoken. Ping - wait is your name still Ping if you're a woman now?

Mulan: Uh. Actually, I was thinking of renaming myself. How do you feel about Mulan?

BONUS:

Mulan [climbing out of the eleventh lake the men have arranged for her to swim in]: Yeah no, it didn't work. Still got boobs. [tries to appear dejected].

Chien Po: If it makes you feel better, they're very nice boobs.

Mulan: Thanks, Chien Po.

somestorythoughts

Mulan and Mushu, somehow opperating on the same wavelength: oh haven't you heard?

johnnyslittleanimalblog

oh………..

it’s a kitty hurricane.

kashi-kakes

#sharingnyan

dajo42

using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me

computationalcalculator

my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament

idontgettechnology

I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.

However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."

I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."

And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."

And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.

So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.

libraryogre

At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."

sensiblereblogifposts

Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President

wannabesugarboi

howieduet

Seeing and knowing

avoidbeing

An obsidian mirror found at Catalhoyuk, 8,000 years old

old-flesh

“get the fries, you’ll need the energy in the coming days”

grimeclown

Cmon man

Anyone else think this post is a scam, and can anyone see if it's legit?

#potential scam?

guess what's floating up in the commissions pile

kay i didn't want to EXACTLY copy the black night armor but kept some elements

look i know that N looks like a D but i needed the empty space in the middle to put lancelot

aaaaand heres the linework

mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

dice cock completion

Just got reminded of the stereotype that white parents don’t hit their kids, that confused the hell out of me first time I heard it, especially as someone who’s white parents switched to using a belt after they broke one of these on me after I made a butt joke at school

mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026

I laughed so hard I almost cried at this btw, this is the funniest response, also it’s a handheld cutting board that I just found out from Lost could be used as a charcuterie board which makes it way funnier cause omg you’re right

teaboot

Full disclosure that I am asking this for the purpose of making a point, and also that I am in support of defunding police in favor of gradually transitioning our punitive, reactive, and heavily inconsistent criminal justice system with preventative action, reduced harm, and restorative justice aimed at rehabilitation:

In a world where this reality is obtained, where nonviolent AND violent crime are successfully and radically reduced but still extant, how do we intend to address it?

You see someone doing something that frightens you, that you do not know how to handle, which may be dangerous but also might not be.

How would you describe the job of the person in this world who you would want to call?

This is not a "gotcha". This is a goal we need to have in mind because it is a position we need to create.

It is an attainable reality, but to play along with me here, what does that profession look like?

In cases like this, giving this particular person a set of armor designed to protect themselves AND allow for more effective meat shielding towards potentially dangerous situations with people in the crossfire, and having the armor be reminiscent of an era of chivalry and whimsy; would possibly deescalate any dangerous behaviors while also being associated with help. In other words, fund a group of knights trained in deescalation, basic hand to hand combat, and the ability to assess what a situation calls for (could be a drug user high as a kite and trying to get home, so escort home vs stalker situation which results in the knight distracting the stalker so person can make it home safely vs mentally handicapped person genuinely not realizing that they're creeping the caller out so the knight hangs back and walks with said person to determine if they're lost/wandering/understanding what's going on/wanted to ask the caller to walk with them because they're going the same direction anyways due to sheer dumb luck), and armor to protect themselves. Give them a blunt sword to use only if all else fails, and it being blunt means that it'll result in broken bones vs being shot to death for having a toy on you. At least, that's how I'd go for it, and I'd at least try to convince the Americans to swap to swords as the staple "home defense" tool. Heck, maybe even push for a cultural shift to blunted swords being allowed for open carry/carry in scabbards.

Of course, that's my take. Replace cops with knights and update the gear.

writing-prompt-s

In a world full of nanotech, lasers, and other high-tech dodads, you are the master of scrap works and "primitive" machines. You're also the most respected and feared engineer alive.

Look, catapults are easy to make and you can launch the high tech grenades with them. Or just rocks. I used a slingshot to knock a piece into place in the laser door security for the Queen because the nanobots needed to travel along the floor and walls to fix the orientation of the palmprint scanner, which would have been useless due to how the grid was set up. These kids need to play with balls again, they're too focused on the flashy stuff and forgetting their fundamentals of physics. Heck, even playing tennis against a bot would help.

were--ralph

the problem with tumblr spells is all of you lil sluts are casting and not giving it time to charge so you're all casting cantrips and not 9th level death spells. everyone wants to be the one to take them down no one wants to be the one who assists

were--ralph

we're going to try again witha little but minimal casting

IT will happen in August of 2026. like to charge and reblog to cast but cast sparingly

were--ralph

Wait stop. everyone +like now and spread it a little but cast on the same day in August. lets try August 6th or something.

Maybe we need to get the order the other way around. Reblog to charge, like to cast? That way it's charged by the spread, and cast by a unified action.

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

krystal-prisms

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

So after extensive interrogation I have an update:

my mom is in fact aware that dandelions exist. she temporarily forgot the name and there was some miscommunication.

the truth is actually weirder

she’s aware dandelions look like this

she is familiar with this flower. she knows the name of this flower. she declines to believe, however, that these are also dandelions

she does not believe these are the same plant. I tried to explain, and she thought I was either misinformed or lying. so I asked her what exactly did she think the yellow ones were called?

she answered, with complete confidence: Daffodils.

gosh I enjoy this website

authoratmidnight

For comparison, this is a daffodil

quietlygrousing

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

i don’t think so? i’m southern and buttercups are what we call these things (much tinier)

maejacrezz007

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

$fractiousrvt blog's avatar$

fractiousrvt

This is an Easter Lily. It is an actual lily and therefore deadly to cats.

blood-trip-god2

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

delphinidin4

This is a marigold:

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

jmtorres

“buttercups” is a name applied to MANY flowers. in my part of the south it was this one:

imo there’s correct identifications of dandelions, daffodils, easter lilies and marigolds in this thread, but buttercups are simply impossible to agree on and the only solution is for everyone to post pictures of their local buttercups