very đĽ°đĽ°đĽ° when musicians leave bits in songs where they're saying 'is this thing on?' or 'it's still recording y'know.' chairs scraping, retuning guitars, saying 'let's do that bit again', 'was that take any good?'
Back when I was in university we were asked to do a brief research exercise on a health condition impacting a community. Can't remember what I wanted to look at now, but it was something to do with the trans community.
Whatever it was, to put it this way, if there were 10 studies on the trans community as a whole, there were 3 on trans women and trans fems and 0 on trans men and trans mascs, and 0 on nonbinary people. All of the mixed studies were also pretty much useless for my purposes as well because they were all so lopsided.
I think I swapped to a bunch of different things - addiction rates, smoking, depression, mental health in general - nothing that was even roughly equal in looking at all of us. Trans men, trans mascs and nonbinary people are so under researched as to be nonexistent.
To keep this brief since I've rambled a bunch - this is a major issue health wise since we have not a lot of literature on what testosterone does to certain bodies. This can lead to major health complications, not because of the testosterone itself, but because there might be an interaction thats missed or a complication that's not noticed (which is the same for any medication that's under researched on certain bodies. This is not me scaring people off of hrt, this is me pointing out its a medication like any other.)
#the therapist who wrote my permission slip for hrt was a trans man#and during that appointment we talked about the erasure of trans men from basically everything#and i talked about an article i had read a week or so earlier about trans people and hiv#it very in depth about risks prevention treatment etc#except that it exclusively referenced trans women with a single sentence at the end basically saying 'oh trans men are at risk too'#less than a year later i saw that same therapist speaking at an hiv organization fundraising event#he talked about how he had just recently been diagnosed with hiv#and had to sit there while this doctor told him all about how the treatment options had never been tested on trans men#none of them#they knew that the treatment would work#but not how effective it would be in comparison to its effectiveness in other demographics#no idea what kind of side effects he might experience#how it would interact with his body and his hormones#what the long term effects would be#nothing#he had to sit there while his doctor told him he would have to be a guinea pig but its not like he has a choice#the only alternative is dying from aids#that whole thing was kind of a wake up call for me#and i started paying more attention getting tested regularly myself and all that sruff you're supposed to do#and over time i befriended the person who did most of my testing#they were also trans masc and we would talk about this kind of stuff#and i told them i wanted to get on prep but every doctor i asked had a wildly different answer on if i even could take it#which verison i could take etc#and they said that only one form of prep has been approved fot trans men but its never actually been tested on trans men#and that one version isnt good for long term use because it has some pretty serious side effects long term#and they said that they regularly go to conferences and meet with representatives from all these drug companies#and they ask 'wheres the data on trans men' 'when are you doing clinical studies on trans men'#and the answer#every single time is: we have not done any studies on trans men and we have no intention to ever do studies on trans men#this is not some passive result of trans masc invisibility it is an active act of erasure that needs to be recognized as an act of violence
Im at a university that is relatively progressive. We have researchers in essentially every field, to some degree, it's a top university in North America, all of my classes on archaeology and anthropology have referenced papers published since 2020 alongside earlier papers, etc.
In particular, we've had a lot of discussions on modern concepts of intersectionality and marginalization. Talks on disability, poc, economic status, etc and how all of these different marginalizing factors come together to influence a person's privilege and vulnerabilities in society. A good number of these classes have mentioned trans people, at least in passing, and at least two have had more in depth discussions around trans people.
Out of all those classes and discussions, not a single one mentioned trans men or trans masculine people. Not. One. When I was early in my Bachelor's and things were still online from COVID, I took a course that was explicitly about the performance of femininity (a philosophy course, for approach and methods). We read about cis women. The we read about trans women. Then we wrote about the intersection and about how different people are expected to perform femininity from a very young age. Yet there was not a single mention of trans men.
As an archaeology student, this was not really part of my program. But at the time I was also very strongly questioning my gender. I wanted to learn about being a woman because I never actually felt like one. And I got a good look at all the structural ways in society that we make women perform, and how difficult it is to learn that as an adult, and how heavily policed it is, etc. But my burning question of "what about the people it's entirely wrong for? What about the trans men?" was never even approached or acknowledged.
If I were to take that class now, I would approach the professor about it. But at the time, I was new and shy and not used to voicing opinions to people in positions of authority. So I said nothing.
Again, this is at a top university with cutting edge research and awareness of current events and topics. If they're not discussing it, it might as well not exist in the academic sphere. THAT is how invisible trans men are. And unfortunately, it means it's up to us to change that, even as much of the world turns against trans people. Even when, for many of us, it would be more comfortable to just go stealth and allow ourselves to disappear. We need the visibility because without it we have no rights, no health care, and no support. And that is something that claims lives.
on the topic of disabled characters, though, i think a LOT of artists give characters mobility aids that their character wouldn't actually benefit from using.
i'm sort of having a mild brain fog moment rn so i can't fully articulate what i'm on about, but i think a lot of able-bodied artists view things like canes and crutches as interchangeable. and they often don't know enough about the wide range of mobility aids to make an informed decision about what their character might actually use based on their disability
i also think that aids like walkers and rollators are sort of viewed as "cringe" on some level, and many people view them to be "just for old people," so many artists will opt for giving a character who has full-body pain and fatigue a cane (which, in many cases, can potentially WORSEN full-body pain) instead. and a lot of people don't realize that most wheelchair users are able to walk, so they don't consider it an option for characters with chronic pain
idk it's kind of frustrating. i've genuinely never, ever seen a character that uses a rollator before. not once. i cannot name a single one. i know of multiple ocs who are described to have full-body pain, dizziness, and fatigue that are drawn as cane users and are never shown with wheelchairs or walkers, though
it's also sort of sad? i've been diagnosed since i was twelve years old, and i only heard of rollators LAST YEAR. and that was only because i saw one irl and immediately asked what it was. i wonder how many disabled people out there don't even know it's an option solely because they're completely underrepresented online and in media
if you're a creative with a disabled oc, PLEASEEE check out this link. it's a very nice and detailed guide for telling which mobility aids suit someone's needs best. it's incredibly important to make the right choice for your character! mobility aids tell you a LOT about someone's lived experience. picking the right one will communicate to your audience #1 what your character goes through #2 that you UNDERSTAND what your character goes through!
All of the post content filters I currently have set to avoid reblog bait (and picker wheel posts):
please reblog
can and should reblog
don't scroll
dont scroll
do not scroll
should reblog
repost this
reblog if
reblog with
reblog this
reblog to
reblog post
reblog and put
reblog and write
reblog and tag
rb if
rb with
rb this
rb to
rb post
rb and put
rb and write
rb and tag
reblogging because
reblogging for
rebloggin' for
rebloggin for
rebloggin' because
rebloggin because
rebloging this
reblogin this
reblogin' this
reblogging this
reblogging from
rbing this
rbing from
reblogged this
reblogged from
rbed this
rbed from
spin the wheel
spin this wheel
spin wheel
random wheel
random picker
pickerwheel.com
picker wheel
always reblog
signal boost
reblog forever
reblogging again
reblog game
if you see this
just reblog this
just reblog.
just reblog bc
just reblog because
interact with this
share it
share this
spread it
spread this
a reblog could
reblogging could
put in tags
put in the tags
put it in the tags
write in tags
write in the tags
write it in the tags
mention in tags
i'll start
ill start
this post
tell me
what is your
who is your
legally required
I know some of these are redundant or contain each other but i don't feel like fixing it
Also that last one might filter out some news articles and related content but I had to put it in because people were genuinely saying "if you see this you are legally required to tell me [...]"
i do think we should normalise being like. platonically enamoured with someone. perhaps i love and admire you dearly and there's nothing romantic about it
I love you disabled girls. I love you scared girls. I love you dysfunctional girls. I love you sad girls. I love you hurt girls. I love you trans girls. I love you racialised girls. I love you lonely girls. I hope you find people who love you and care for you like you deserve. I hope you find people who will hold you and let you hold them. I love you.
TIL The Double Empathy Problem theory suggests social difficulties experienced by autistic people when interacting with non-autistic people are due to reciprocal differences, not an inherent deficiency, most autistic people are able to display good social reciprocity with most other autistic people
okay but the BEST part of the first study discussed (conducted by an autistic person!) Is that it shows that while easy, calm, mutual communication and social interaction is often more natural between two autistic people than it is between an autistic person and a non-autistic person, it is ALSO like this when an autistic person encounters a non-autistic person who imitates the autistic individualâs behaviours- neurotypical parents copying autistic childrenâs play, for example, apparently receive more positive engagement from their child- which is SERIOUSLY FUCKING IMPORTANT and VERY VERY GOOD because it is, once again, scientific evidence that bullshit like aversion therapy and enforced conformance and FUCKING âquiet handsâ arenât âââââsolutions to the autism problemâââââ and that âââââproblemsââââ with autism donât stem from BEING autistic, but rather, from how NON AUSTISTIC PEOPLE TREAT AUTISTIC PEOPLE.
IE, once again, there is nothing bad or wrong about being autistic
I recently was thinking about yet another really sad parallel between Spamton & Noelle, and this led me to think about Spamtonâs storyline as a whole, and how it will ultimately end.
(content warning for vague discussion of suicidal thoughts. this post does start off sad, but ends on a hopeful note.)
The Noelle/Spamton parallels began in ch2, with Noelleâs wish to âgrow big angel wings and fly far awayâ being similar to Spamtonâs wish to become NEO and reach Heaven, as well as Noelleâs struggle to break free from being controlled (by Queen, and symbolically, Carol), and in Japanese, she even says that being a puppet will never make her happy.
On the weird route, Noelleâs manipulation by us as an almost god-like entity also mirrors the manipulation & control Spamtonâs benefactor had over him in the past, and on this route, both of them ultimately accept that theyâll never truly be âfree.â They settle for the strings, and for violence â LOVE â instead of true freedom & love.
Noelle's desire to "grow wings and fly out of this stupid town, to somewhere no oneâs ever been before," to escape from a life of "watching herself through glass," also represents the desire to end her own lifeâ and this parallels Spamton's desire to reach âHeaven,â somewhere no Darkner has ever truly been, and to escape the unreality of the Dark World & the body that heâs been forced into.
This really solidified for me something that Iâd been thinking about for a whileâ that Spamton's storyline & escaping the dark was allegorically about suicide as well, and he very likely had similar thoughts to Noelle about ending his life at times.
And honestly, it does make sense that Spamton would feel that way in the situation he was in; he was left with nothing, homeless & severely disfigured after being manipulated and used by an entity with an unfathomable amount of power over him. He then got abandoned & blatantly ignored by everyone he'd ever cared about (while Swatch even continued to sell his old products & gave him none of the income), despite trying to call his friends for help so many times that his voice ran out. Thereâs also dialogue that implies he was regularly physically harmed by others while homeless; he had to "get it through his head" that no one was ever going to help him.
The one Spamton trusted enough to risk everything for in the first place (despite the fact he had no real reason to except that he genuinely wanted to, as he already had a deal that guaranteed his own personal success, which he knowingly broke to share it all with Tenna), the person who mattered most to him â the one who, unknown to Spamton, actually would've helped him at his lowest â Spamton was left believing that heâd never really cared, and that he had abandoned him too (though, as we can clearly tell from Tennaâs own account, this isnât true; he never wanted Spamton to leave him, and heâs been deeply anguished about it since).
Spamton and his dream of being âbig togetherâ with Tenna were both utterly brokenâ and so was his heart, quite literally, as we can see during the SNEO battle. (And of course, if Spamton was also constantly paranoid about FRIEND(s) tracking him down, I'm sure that certainly didn't help his mental state.) This line isn't all that subtle about his state of mind, either.
Spamtonâs goal was literally to "escape the dark and reach Heaven" by ascending to another realm of being, because his existence as a Darkner had done nothing but cause him pain in the end. I really wouldn't be surprised at all if Spamton at least occasionally had thoughts about ending his own life, but kept himself going with his goal of becoming NEO, and maybe someday, finally getting to see the sun. Flying.
Spamtonâs dreams may seem out of reach now, but I do truly believe Spamton will be getting his own happy ending on the pacifist route for many reasons, especially considering how much Toby Fox clearly adores (and relates to) this character. I recently came across a post (which I unfortunately canât find now) that just made me even more certain; I had forgotten about Toby saying this, but reading it again now made me thinkâŚ
The post I saw pointed out that Toby uses the language of Deltarune hereâ specifically the language related to shadow crystals, which are literally lost/broken dreams.
That along with the references to wings and flying immediately made me think of Spamton. âWatch me flyâ is literally the last thing he says during the SNEO battle before heâs cut down.
(more under the cut)
Toby has a disability that keeps him from accomplishing his dream â making Deltarune â in the way he originally intended to, and heâs had to accept that he needs help from others to fulfill that dream, but working collaboratively has led to wonderful things that have made Deltarune even better. Spamton is a canonically disabled character (and not even just with his speech impairment & implied chronic pain as a puppet; from the beginning, he was never able to function âproperlyâ as an Addison & make sales like he was expected to because of his nature as a spam email, which automatically gets routed to the spam folder & ignored. Being unable to work and make a living because of his nature is quite literally a disabilityâ and as someone whoâs disabled myself, this is one of the reasons I personally relate to Spamton so much). Spamton had to get outside help to accomplish his dream of being a Big Shotâ although, he unfortunately ended up depending on an entity who was ultimately only manipulating and using him as their puppet. An entity who ended up forcefully separating him from the person who actually wouldâve helped him after his downfall, if he was given the chance to.
But, like Toby said, just because it feels like youâll never leave the ground again, that doesnât make it true. You can still fly. Just as Toby has friends and a team who are helping him achieve his dream, Spamton has people in his corner now who care, and do actually want to help him: the Fun Gang, who showed him mercy at his lowest, and all relate to and parallel Spamton in different ways, and Tenna, who is so clearly not even close to over what happened, who deeply regrets letting Spamton go, who is still talking about how much he cared for him & wishes heâd never left, even nowâ just as Spamton is still wondering why Tenna threw away what they had, and is overjoyed to find out that Tenna really does care. Neither of them wouldâve left each other behind if given any other choice.
The person who shared a dream with Spamton, who wanted to be big WITH him; whose dream also fell apart when Spamton leftâ a dream that both of them still have.
Who was giving Spamton true advice on showmanship that he still seems to try to use now, instead of just artificially increasing his sales.
Who is the only other Darkner to express a desire to be able to see the sun.
Whoâs felt like heâs just been playing pretend ever since Spamton left.
Who is also deeply lonely, has the same fears and insecurities, & has exactly the same wish underneath everything to just have friends, and to be truly wanted & cared for. Susie is directly paralleled to Tenna with her speech to him in ch3, as Noelle is paralleled to Spamton in ch2â but Tenna clearly isnât the only one this applies to.
âIntentionally similar characters who mutually enhance each other,â as Toby himself called Spamton & Tenna.
And like Noelle on the pacifist route decides she doesnât need to escape anymore because she found Susie â because she found some of the freedom she was looking for through love â maybe something similar can happen for Spamton & Tenna.
When I think about all of this â about finally flying with the help of people who care about you, achieving dreams you thought had slipped away forever, about finding true freedom through love, about deciding you donât need to run anymore, about writing your own endings, defying fate, & hope being at the core of Deltarune â I do think, if we make the right choices, Spamton will get his wish in the end, and heâll âlive for himself and his friends this time.â
@grey-auras adding your tags, these are great additions. Putting your faith in others & relying on them is such a big part of Deltarune, and I love that. Spamton has hope that the kids will break their own strings and his purpose (for now) has become giving them the strength to do that, Gerson believes that Alvin can continue his story if he gives himself a chance, Kris puts all their trust in Susie... Everyone needs some help from others to fly.
hi friendly reminder you arenât a bad person for not reblogging something. reblog bait fucking sucks and its intended purpose is to make you feel guilty. it is not a moral failing to not reblog something and you are never a bad person for scrolling past a post. sincerely, a moral ocd haver
you are free to reblog this post but you arenât obligated to. itâs okay to scroll, i promise
I know Toby seems to write queerness as mostly textually "normal and ok" but I think it's really sweet and important from our irl perspective how the Susie and Blue break is just basically an older fem gay man telling a teenage butch lesbian girl that it's ok and beautiful to love however she wants
The National Spamton @thenationalspamton - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
blakekathryn
yousharknotpass
areudirty
ellievsbear
2087
romaincrisis
