she/they. Fat, Queer, Slutty, Mixed, and Crazy. Settler on Treaty 7 land. I am an Unfriendly Canadian Heated Rivalry is my whole personality. This is currently a back up for my threads account
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Was supposed to be a fun little fic about silly bathroom grafitti, somehow became an emotional exploration of the ways viewpoints change in the MLH. Written because of one AI tee shirt and a desire to have Ilya chase Shane around a hotel dining room
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
David Hollander meets Yuna Takahashi at McGill. Compliant with my previous Yuna/David story, so starts in 1979. May add more chapters, but currently is a complete story.
Time for more Puck Talk, as it relates to The Game Changers Series.
Content Warning: Spoilers for The Long Game. Inexplicable political thirst. Mentions of the 2004 Stanley Cup Finals.
VERY LONG
Ilya in The Long Game is going through a mental health crisis and therefore is not really the most reliable narrator of his own life.
Ilya wasn't going to re sign with Boston. Period. No matter what happened at the cottage.
When Scott Hunter came out, Ilya realized that at least some of things he wanted were possible, but not in Boston.
In the book, Ilya sees Scott kiss Kip and feels like everything terrible in his life has been sucked away by a tornado. So much is still impossible. The rivalry. Russia. But the NHL had an out player now, and maybe that meant that he and Shane weren't hopeless after all.
Please remember, it is 2017 in the USA. Same sex marriage had only been legalised two years earlier, and Donald Trump was the sitting president and looking to roll back all kinds of freedoms.
The USA was clamping down on immigration, and homophobia was back on the rise.
Meanwhile in Canada, same sex marriage had been legal for over 10 years, LGBTQIA status was a protected class, and Canada was like "HEY IMMIGRANTS WE REALLY WANT YOU WE ARE SO EMPTY AND LONELY."
Canada had actively opposed the War in the Ukraine and was openly taking refugees from the conflict, and Canada had been granting refugee status based on sexual orientation since 1991.
If you were queer, Russian and liked hockey, Canada was your best bet.
Plus, check out our Prime Minister in 2017. Hot. And he was marching in Pride Parades in Ottawa.
Since everyone fucking forgets, a reminder: Ilya brought up moving to a Canadian team when his contract ended FIRST, and the only team he wasn't considering was Montreal. Specifically because Montreal couldn't fucking afford him.
Ilya was never staying in Boston. And you need to give up your fanons for this, guys (in relation to show expectations) because Ilya very specifically says Boston would not be so good about having someone like Harris (openly gay) on their staff. Ilya knows that, if he was outed, Boston Admin would not protect him. And if he dropped from Boston and no one signed him, he would lose his visa and have to return to Russia openly queer.
I believe Cliff is an ally to Ilya too, because I love LoPresti, but in the books, there are no Boston players at the boys' wedding.
Ilya is coming to Canada NO MATTER WHAT.
If Shane and Ilya do the cottage and decide "meh, we are better fuck buddies than boyfriends" ILYA IS STILL COMING TO CANADA.
Ilya doesn't move teams FOR SHANE. He moves teams FOR HIMSELF.
Ilya doesn't move to Canada FOR SHANE. He moves to Canada FOR HIMSELF.
This is where a lack of hockey knowledge is a problem.
When Ilya was drafted, Boston was a shit team. Even with the new, mostly incomprehensible, draft lottery rules, you have to at least missed the playoffs to get the number one draft pick.
LORE TIME
In 2003, Pittsburgh had 1st overall draft pick, and drafted Marc Andre Fluery. In 2004, Pittsburgh had 2nd overall draft pick and drafted Evgeni Malkin. In 2005, they had the 1st overall draft pick AGAIN (please believe me when I tell you the Penguins fucking suuuuuucked) and drafted Sidney Crosby.
In 2006, Geno finally got to Pittsburgh.
In 2009, Pittsburgh won the cup.
In case that's not easy enough math, it took 2 first overall picks, 1 second overall pick, six years and the literal greatest hockey player of all time (and also Kris Letang) for Pittsburgh to get it's shit together enough to win a cup, but it did get to the semis for the first time in 2007, which is 2 years
I have gotten lost in the lore. Please hang on.
Okay! When Shane and Ilya are drafted, they are drafted to teams with long histories who have played like shit for three seasons prior to their draft. No playoffs.
Surprisingly, they both get their teams to the playoffs in their rookie season. But it takes Ilya three more years and Shane four more years to actually get their teams a cup.
Hockey is a team sport. The point of trades is to find perfect fits. Lines that work cleanly. Depth at centre, fast wingers, strong defense, superb goal tending.
So taking years to get a team to cup contention is not surprising, no matter how many first round single digit draft picks you get (I'M LOOKING AT YOU PENS).
And even when you have a winning team, you still futz around every trade season to get the winningest team. You keep what's working and move what isn't.
And if you're the team Admin, you pray to fucking god your superstars don't choose free agency. And you do whatever the fuck you can to make sure that doesn't happen.
For instance, Alexander Ovechkin has had exactly four NHL contracts in his life. His three year Entry Level Contract, then a fucking insane 13 year extension for absolutely ridiculous amounts of money and an No Trade Clause that took effect in 2014, then a 5 year that should have taken him to retirement. This year, for the first time in Ovi's 22 year career, he was a free agent entirely by his own choice. Washington isn't stupid; they know Ovi is their whole personality. They'll keep him as long as he wants to stay, which is why he signed his 4th ever contract this July, for one year.
Pittsburgh did the same with Crosby. His latest contract was signed a full fucking year before his last contract expired.
All this to say, Boston would have been foaming at the mouth to keep Ilya (or they would have traded him rather than let him lapse into free agency on their dime) and Ottawa probably offered just absolute scads of money to sign him.
Under cap rules, one player on the team can be paid up to 20% of the overall cap.
I'm not saying Ottawa did that - they really are trying to do a rebuild, and you need cap space for that, you can't build a team on one good player, and good players cost money. But they probably offered at least 11% (what Ovi got) and probably more. And then they went to work. The old coach retired. They brought in Brandon Weibe. They picked up Hayes and Barrett for a song and they set to work building Ilya a team that could win a cup
We know in the books that Ilya goes to Ottawa for (presumably) a fat paycheck. We know players speculate why he'd go to a shit team.
But honestly, players move all the time. Sure, some stay loyal to their draft team their entire career but that is very rare. Most players are chasing cups or paychecks or family their entire careers.
And also, please ignore the players in the book who are like "Ottawa is terrible and ruining Ilya's legacy" AND I INCLUDE ILYA ON THE IGNORE LIST.
There are so many books in the Game Changers Series it's easy to forget that the bulk of the story of them take place between 2017 and 2021. Scott meets Kip in 2017.
TLG begins in 2019. Ilya enters a massive mental health crisis. Part of that crisis is depression and the depression is telling him he plays on a not very good team.
Please remember, ILYA IS DEPRESSED and part of depression is REWRITING HISTORY.
Ilya got an easier path to citizenship, a higher chance of being granted asylum if he is outed, an absolutely stupid amount of money, a team that genuinely supports him. HE ALSO GOT SHANE, but Shane is NOT the best thing.
When Ilya tells Shane he gave up hockey for him already, Ilya has forgotten that moving to Canada and getting PAAAAAAID was part of the plan BEFORE. He forgets Ottawa wasn't just a good choice because Shane is nearby, it's a good choice because HE GOT STUPID RICH and also got a Canadian work visa and a team that will not drop him if he is outed, thereby securing said visa should Russia cancel Ilya's passport. With a work visa, Ilya has an easy path to citizenship, whether he marries Shane or not.
Ilya is depressed. He doesn't have a great sense of time. He feels like he's been playing like shit for approximately three aeons, when actually he's been playing extremely well, and Ottawa is slowly but surely climbing the ranks.
When the plane crash happens, it lights a fire under Ilya's ass (much like Sochi 2014) and Ilya "fucking FUCK SAN FRANCISCO" Rozanov re enters the narrative. Which means he gets to the semis a year earlier than he would have already.
Ilya is only in Ottawa for two years and they land the wildcard spot in the playoffs, and knock out the number one seed in their division, conference and the whole fucking league, in round one.
This is rare. Not impossible but rare. Calgary did the same in 2004. That's about all i can say about 2004 without commiting an idictable offense, so instead, here is a picture of Calgary Flames captain and my hockey husband, Hockey Jesus Jarome Iginla because this is my post and I do what I want.
When people say Ilya lost hockey for Shane, they are not reading the book critically, or have not taken the time to learn at least a little bit about fucking NHL hockey. Ilya has only missed play offs for I think two seasons. That is unprecedented for a team at the bottom of the standings. Literally half the teams in the league miss the playoffs every year. And the third year he's with Ottawa they go to round two.
I am very tired of the narrative that either Ilya or Shane have to give up hockey or their career or their legacy for each other.
Hockey is not the team you play on. Connor McDavid is the greatest player active now - yes better than Sid or Ovi, though not better than them in their prime. He plays on a not great team.
Jarome Iginla played for the Flames for 16 years and was hailed as the greatest player of his generation. He had his number retired by the Flames, was selected for the Hockey Hall of Fame the first year he was eligible, had all three of his kids play good enough hockey to be drafted by the NHL and the PWHL, and is still considered one of the greats by players and fans everywhere.
He never won a cup. But his legacy has not been tarnished by playing for a not so great team.
Frankly, going to Ottawa is the dream for both Shane and Ilya because playing on the same line in their fucking prime? In the GCU, where the NHL isn't rigged and the Cup is decided by skill?
Barring season ending injuries, that cup isn't leaving Ottawa for the next seven years AT LEAST.
Rozanov, Barrett, Chouinard and Dykstra on the Penalty Kill Line? They'll never be able to touch another player again, no team wants that line on the ice, even if the opposing team has the man advantage.
Hollander, Rozanov, Barrett, Haas and Boodram on the Power Play Line? No team will ever play dirty against them, and give them the man advantage.
That team is so GOATed all other team's defensive lines including the goalies are all going on strike. They're calling Etsy witches for curses. They're finding snotty kids to cough on the Centaurs in the tunnel and praying they catch the flu.
Without divine intervention, no one is beating that team ever again.
Shane and Ilya gained EVERYTHING by going to Ottawa. Shane will get his seven cups. Ilya definitely gets at least three more dogs from Harris.
Time for more Puck Talk, as it relates to The Game Changers Series.
Content Warning: Spoilers for The Long Game. Inexplicable political thirst. Mentions of the 2004 Stanley Cup Finals.
VERY LONG
Ilya in The Long Game is going through a mental health crisis and therefore is not really the most reliable narrator of his own life.
Ilya wasn't going to re sign with Boston. Period. No matter what happened at the cottage.
When Scott Hunter came out, Ilya realized that at least some of things he wanted were possible, but not in Boston.
In the book, Ilya sees Scott kiss Kip and feels like everything terrible in his life has been sucked away by a tornado. So much is still impossible. The rivalry. Russia. But the NHL had an out player now, and maybe that meant that he and Shane weren't hopeless after all.
Please remember, it is 2017 in the USA. Same sex marriage had only been legalised two years earlier, and Donald Trump was the sitting president and looking to roll back all kinds of freedoms.
The USA was clamping down on immigration, and homophobia was back on the rise.
So much is still impossible. The rivalry. Russia. But the NHL had an out player now, and maybe that meant that he and Shane weren't hopeless after all.
Please remember, it is 2017 in the USA. Same sex marriage had only been legalised two years earlier, and Donald Trump was the sitting president and looking to roll back all kinds of freedoms.
The USA was clamping down on immigration, and homophobia was back on the rise.
Meanwhile in Canada, same sex marriage had been legal for over 10 years, LGBTQIA status was a protected class, and Canada was like "HEY IMMIGRANTS WE REALLY WANT YOU WE ARE SO EMPTY AND LONELY."
Canada had actively opposed the War in the Ukraine and was openly taking refugees from the conflict, and Canada had been granting refugee status based on sexual orientation since 1991.
If you were queer, Russian and liked hockey, Canada was your best bet.
Plus, check out our Prime Minister in 2017. Hot. And he was marching in Pride Parades in Ottawa.
Since everyone fucking forgets, a reminder: Ilya brought up moving to a Canadian team when his contract ended FIRST, and the only team he wasn't considering was Montreal. Specifically because Montreal couldn't fucking afford him.
Ilya was never staying in Boston. And you need to give up your fanons for this, guys (in relation to sgow expectations) because Ilya very specifically says Boston would not be so good about having someone like Harris (openly gay) on their staff. Ilya knows that, if he was outed, Boston Admin would not protect him. And if he dropped from Boston and no one signed him, he would lose his visa and have to return to Russia openly queer.
I believe Cliff is an ally to Ilya too, because I love LoPresti, but in the books, there are no Boston players at the boys' wedding.
Ilya is coming to Canada NO MATTER WHAT.
If Shane and Ilya do the cottage and decide "meh, we are better fuck buddies than boyfriends" ILYA IS STILL COMING TO CANADA.
Ilya doesn't move teams FOR SHANE. He moves teams FOR HIMSELF.
Ilya doesn't move to Canada FOR SHANE. He moves to Canada FOR HIMSELF.
This is where a lack of hockey knowledge is a problem.
When Ilya was drafted, Boston was a shit team. Even with the new, mostly incomprehensible, draft lottery rules, you have to at least missed the playoffs to get the number one draft pick.
LORE TIME
In 2003, Pittsburgh had 1st overall draft pick, and drafted Marc Andre Fluery. In 2004, Pittsburgh had 2nd overall draft pick and drafted Evgeni Malkin. In 2005, they had the 1st overall draft pick AGAIN (please believe me when I tell you the Penguins fucking suuuuuucked) and drafted Sidney Crosby.
In 2006, Geno finally got to Pittsburgh.
In 2009, Pittsburgh won the cup.
In case that's not easy enough math, it took 2 first overall picks, 1 second overall pick, six years and the literal greatest hockey player of all time (and also Kris Letang) for Pittsburgh to get it's shit together enough to win a cup, but it did get to the semis for the first time in 2007, which is 2 years
I have gotten lost in the lore. Please hang on.
Okay! When Shane and Ilya are drafted, they are drafted to teams with long histories who have played like shit for three seasons prior to their draft. No playoffs.
Surprisingly, they both get their teams to the playoffs in their rookie season. But it takes Ilya three more years and Shane 4 more years to actually get their teams a cup.
Hockey is a team sport. The point of trades is to find perfect fits. Lines that work cleanly. Depth at centre, fast wingers, strong defense, superb goal tending.
So taking years to get a team to cup contention is not surprising, no matter how many first round single digit draft picks you get (I'M LOOKING AT YOU PENS).
And even when you have a winning team, you still futz around every trade season to get the winningest team. You keep what's working and move what isn't.
And if you're the team Admin, you pray to fucking god your superstars don't choose free agency. And you do whatever the fuck you can to make sure that doesn't happen.
For instance, Alexander Ovechkin has had exactly four NHL contracts in his life. His three year ELC, then a fucking insane 13 year extension for absolutely ridiculous amounts of money and an NTC that took effect in 2014, then a 5 year that should have taken him to retirement. This year, for the first time in Ovi's 22 year career, he was a free agent entirely by his own choice. Washington isn't stupid; they know Ovi is their whole personality. They'll keep him as long as he wants to stay, which is why he signed his 4th ever contract this July, for one year.
Pittsburgh did the same with Crosby. His latest contract was signed a full fucking year before his last contract expired.
All this to say, Boston would have been foaming at the mouth to keep Ilya (or they would have traded him rather than let him lapse into free agency on their dime) and Ottawa probably offered just absolute scads of money to sign him.
Under cap rules, one player on the team can be paid up to 20% of the overall cap.
I'm not saying Ottawa did that - they really are trying to do a rebuild, and you need cap space for that, you can't build a team on one good player, and good players cost money. But they probably offered at least 11% (what Ovi got) and probably more. And then they went to work. The old coach retired. They brought in Brandon Weibe. They picked up Hayes and Barrett for a song and they set to work building Ilya a team that could win a cup
We know in the books that Ilya goes to Ottawa for (presumably) a fat paycheck. We know players speculate why he'd go to a shit team.
But honestly, players move all the time. Sure, some stay loyal to their draft team their entire career but that is very rare. Most players are chasing cups or paychecks or family their entire careers.
And also, please ignore the players in the book who are like "Ottawa is terrible and ruining Ilya's legacy" AND I INCLUDE ILYA ON THE IGNORE LIST.
There are so many books in the Game Changers Series it's easy to forget that the bulk of the story of them take place between 2017 and 2021. Scott meets Kip in 2017.
TLG begins in 2019. Ilya enters a massive mental health crisis. Part of that crisis is depression and the depression is telling him he plays on a not very good team.
Please remember, ILYA IS DEPRESSED and part of depression is REWRITING HISTORY.
When Ilya tells Shane he gave up hockey for him already, Ilya has forgotten that moving to Canada and getting PAYYYED was part of the plan BEFORE. He forgets Ottawa wasn't just a good choice because Shane is nearby, it's a good choice because HE GOT STUPID RICH and also got a Canadian work visa and a team that will not drop him if he is outed, thereby securing said visa should Russia cancel Ilya's passport. With a work visa, Ilya has an easy path to citizenship, whether he marries Shane or not.
Ilya got an easier path to citizenship, a higher chance of being granted asylum if he is outed, and absolutely stupid amount of money, a team that genuinely supports him. HE ALSO GOT SHANE, but Shane is NOT the best thing.
Ilya is depressed. He doesn't have a great sense of time. He feels like he's been playing like shit for approximately three aeons, when actually he's been playing extremely well, and Ottawa is slowly but surely climbing the ranks.
When the plane crash happens, it lights a fire under Ilya's ass (much like Sochi 2014) and Ilya "fucking FUCK SAN FRANCISCO" Rozanov re enters the narrative. Which means he gets to the semis a year earlier than he would have already.
Ilya is only in Ottawa for two years and they land the wildcard spot in the playoffs, and knock out the number one seed in their division, conference and the whole fucking league, in round one.
This is rare. Not impossible but rare. Calgary did the same in 2004. That's about all i can say about 2004 without commiting an idictable offense, so instead, here is a picture of Calgary Flames captain and my hockey husband, Hockey Jesus Jarome Iginla because this is my post and I do what I want.
When people say Ilya lost hockey for Shane, they are not reading the book critically, or have not taken the time to learn at least a little bit about fucking NHL hockey. Ilya has only missed play offs for I think two seasons. That is unprecedented for a team at the bottom of the standings. Literally half the teams in the league miss the playoffs every year. And the third year he's with Ottawa they go to round two.
I am very tired of the narrative that either Ilya or Shane have to give up hockey or their career or their legacy for each other.
Hockey is not the team you play on. Connor McDavid is the greatest player active now - yes better than Sid or Ovi, though not better than them in their prime. He plays on a not great team. Jarome Iginla played for the Flames for 16 years and was hailed as the greatest player of his generation. He had his number retired by the Flames, was selected for the Hockey Hall of Fame the first year he was eligible, had all three of his kids play good enough hockey to be drafted by the NHL and the PWHL, and is still considered one of the greats by players and fans everywhere.
He never won a cup. But his legacy has not been tarnished by playing for a not so great team.
Frankly, going to Ottawa is the dream for both Shane and Ilya because playing on the same line in their fucking prime?
In the GCU, where the NHL isn't rigged and the Cup is decided by skill?
Barring season ending injuries, that cup isn't leaving Ottawa for the next seven years AT LEAST.
Rozanov, Barrett, Chouinard and Dykstra on the Penalty Kill Line? They'll never be able to touch another player again, no team wants that line on the ice, even if the opposing team has the man advantage.
Hollander, Rozanov, Barrett, Haas and Boodram on the Power Play Line? No team will ever play dirty against them, and give them the man advantage.
That team is so GOATed all other team's defensive lines including the goalies are all going on strike. They're calling Etsy witches for curses. They're finding snotty kids to cough on the Centaurs in the tunnel and praying they catch the flu.
Without divine intervention, no one is beating that team ever again.
Shane and Ilya gained EVERYTHING by going to Ottawa. Shane will get his seven cups. Ilya definitely gets at least three more dogs from Harris.
NO I MEAN IT, PLEASE DO NOT KEEP CLICKING UNLESS YOU ARE OKAY WITH BEING SPOILED.
LAST WARNING.
ALSO THIS IS GONNA BE LONG AS FUCK, SORRY NOT SORRY.
CW: BOOK ACCURATE HOMOPHOBIC LANGUAGE
THE YELLING STOPS AFTER THIS I PROMISE.
There's a very interesting thread that runs through the fandom that I'm finding more and more difficult to ignore.
There seems to be this idea that Rachel hates Shane, and the whole series is about humbling Shane and making him pay for something she feels he's done?
I read the whole series a couple times - even Common Goal, which i really didn't like - and it's become very clear to me that a lot of other people haven't. It's even more clear that a lot of people struggle with subtext.
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are the backbone of the entire Game Changers Series. If you go strictly chronologically, their story begins it (2008, Regina) and ends it (October 2021, Ottawa, plus whenever Unrivaled ends)
We talk about Ilya wandering the NHL like the Pied Piper of Queerlandia, and it's true. He is in every book. But Shane haunts the narrative as well, though often when people are talking about him rather than with him.
Specifically, Shane's gayness haunts the narrative
In the epilogue of Heated Rivalry, Shane says he came out to his team, but he wasn't going to come out publically, because his private life is his own. What Shane DOESN'T say is he came out to his team and it went well.
The only person outside his parents that knows about Ilya is Hayden, and Hayden hates Ilya. They never really warm to each other. We know that Shane is an internalizer. On RR's list, Shane is barely in touch with his own feelings.
He takes in information but doesn't necessarily process it emotionally. I am sure he has noted that 1, his team would rather he not discuss being gay and 2, his closest friend is okay with the gay but not okay with the Ilya of it all. Shane likely extrapolates from there that people who aren't as close to him will like it even less.
In Tough Guy, we see the charity announcement from an outside perspective - the Guardians locker room.
The first thing we learn is everyone is surprised b/c the rivalry between Shane and Ilya had been perceived by other players as particularly bitter.
Again, look at clips that discuss the Sid/Ovi rivalry, look how they were on the ice at the beginning of their careers.
The second thing we learn is that a lot of players think Shane is gay, and it's discussed in the locker rooms.
And it's not a positive discussion. Troy says they're fucking, Kent says Ilya would never but Shane is a "fucking homo".
There is no confirmation that anyone has heard Shane is gay yet; it hasn't spread to Toronto at least, but maybe none of the Gardians have any friends on the Voyaguers. But people suspect, and not all of them are good about it, and as it spreads around the league, I'm sure more players approach more Voyageurs, and Shane hears about it via his own team mates.
So now we can assume Shane is aware his sexuality is a topic of conversation.
In Common Goal, Scott confirms to Eric that Shane is gay; the rumor he came out to the team is a generally known secret. Eric notices a mutual respect between Shane and Ilya at All Stars, but a friendship still seems unlikely, and he assumes when they snipe in the bar later that Ilya is annoyed with Shane.
By Role Model, it's increasingly clear that Shane's gayness is an accepted fact. Troy even considers asking Ilya for Shane's phone number. But we see in TLG that Shane is more rigid than we've ever seen him.
In Tough Guy he's kind of OK with Ryan catching him and Ilya at a hockey camp; by TLG Shane is nervous when Ilya reaches out to touch him at Fabian's concert.
In HR we see Shane eat burgers and tuna melts; by TLG he has become fixated on his diet.
In HR, Shane talks with Ilya about letting close friends know about them; by TLG Shane is convinced that if anyone ever finds out he'll lose his role as captain, his place on the Voyageurs, and his legacy as the greatest player in the NHL. Everything that their plan is supposed to protect. After all, the plan was to allow them to be together while still playing hockey.
Shane turns out to be correct. The Voyageurs turn on him and accuse him of cheating because he tripped.
So do a lot of fans and sports journalists.
Do you have any idea how often people trip playing hockey? YOU SHOULD GO FIND OUT. Because once you do you will realize this allegation is absolutely insane on more levels than "Shane would never let Ilya win."
For his team - including JJ, whom Shane considers a friend - to turn on him so easily, something has gone very fucking wrong in the locker room for a very long time.
BUT WE NEVER SEE IT.
The most we see of Shane in person after HR is in TLG. A story told through the eyes of Ilya, a character suffering through a major mental health crisis that he refuses to share with anyone.
Through Ilya's eyes we see a distracted Shane, a Shane that is never there fast enough, a Shane that is playing incredible hockey while Ilya plays shit hockey (this is Ilya's opinion, but it's not true, Ilya's hockey is still amazing), a Shane that has a whole huge busy life when all Ilya has is Shane.
In the other books, we see Ilya at the bar with other teams, Ilya attending a funeral of a player who dies by suicide, Ilya recruiting players from all over the league to coach at their camps, Ilya making friends with Troy, with Ryan, with Eric Bennett for god's sake.
In those books, Ilya is charming and gregarious and having the time of his life. And making Ottawa better; they're losing still, but not as much, and not as badly. But Ilya is unable to see this in the midst of his depression.
To an inattentive reader, Shane appears selfish, and thoughtless. But Shane notices Ilya is not well and recommends therapy - Shane sees Ilya less than anyone else in Ilya's life but is the only one who notices Ilya is struggling. Shane reaches out to touch Ilya at Fabian's concert, without Ilya making it clear that he wants to be touched. Shane has always been and will always be hyperaware of Ilya.
This is not a narrative where Shane is being selfish; he's being shown as very attentive.
When Shane and Ilya are outed, readers seem to think that Shane is being punished by moving from Montreal to Ottawa.
But even before trip gate, I think Shane was considering moving. Possibly before the plane crash but definitely after. I'd say before the crash because I am sure the locker room has gotten increasingly toxic over the last few years and Shane feels it even if he can't say it.
But definitely after the crash because Shane has every intention of coming out with Ilya that summer, and he knows the Voyageurs won't take it well. He knows before trip gate because Hayden has never been able to handle it, and it's confirmed when JJ accuses him of throwing the game.
Shane was right. He can't be the captain of the Voyaguers AND in love with Ilya Rozanov. So he chooses Ilya.
And takes a pay cut of some kind to play in Ottawa.
Here's the thing.
We know Shane technically makes less than Ilya. Because Ottawa might have had the cap space for them both in 2017, but by 2020, they have taken on a decent number of players to do the rebuild that Ilya joined them for.
HOWEVER. There are always bonuses. Bonuses for games played, goals scored, points per game etc. Maybe a bonus if he gets them to a certain round in the play offs. These are some of the ways teams get around pesky things like salary caps. Ilya signed in 2017 for a fat contract, but he might not have gotten all the bonuses because they didn't need to fuck with the cap.
Shane gets to join a team that's on the rise and play out the last half of his career with his husband while winning like, at least two cups.
Additionally, Shane gets to live with Ilya. Be with Ilya. Finally have all that time they've been so desperate for since 2017. And Ottawa is no longer a shit team; they took out Montreal, the number one ranked team in the league. Even if they hadn't, pushing the first series in the Finals to game seven is very impressive.
Shane gets to join a team that's on the rise and play out the last half of his career with his husband while winning like, at least two cups.
Just before the cottage, this is Shane's deepest desire:
By the end of The Long Game, he has this. He is a legendary player, he gets to keep playing hockey, and he's openly in a relationship with Ilya without shame or fear.
This is the storyline from the books. The books were actually all about Shane Hollander, hockey phenom, meeting the love of his life in his junior year of high school, and through a series of fortunate and unfortunate events, learning that being your whole amazing, complicated self is better than anything else on earth.
How could you possibly think RR hates Shane? He gets everything: a legendary career, a loving family, respect, admiration, the fifth hottest NHL player as a husband, an adorable dog and an amazing team, and all he had to do was be himself.
I know people will not STFU about Rachel calling Shane selfish because he's hyper focused on his diet when Ilya is so sad.
But that sounds like the sort of thing people say to creatives who seem to choose their art over everything else. Shane's performance diet is about his job; its an extension of his hockey obsession. And we know his diet has become more intense in the years since he first came out to his team.
It sounds like words RR may have heard directed at her; that she's focusing on writing when she should be paying attention to her partner and kid. They may even be words she's directed at herself.
Ilya might be RR's favourite character, but I would bet you anything Shane is the character she knows the most. Shane is written with surprising sensitivity for a basically one dimensional jock; he's given a vivid imagination and a rich interior life which no other character has except maybe Ilya.
I'm not really sure how to wrap this up except, Shane isn't punished, Ottawa was never a shitty choice for Ilya or Shane, and Rachel Reid cannot possibly hate a character she wrote five books and created Ilya Rosanov for.
And if you can't see that I don't know what to tell you.
People keep forcing me to realize these things, so if you haven't realized this yet, sorry, i love you, pain shared is pain lessened, incoming brick, spoilers for TLG
🧱 🧱 🧱
At the end of Heated Rivalry, the boys are discussing telling a few people they're close to.
At some point between HR and TLG, Shane comes out to his team, and its common enough knowledge that Troy Barrett has heard rumors.
In TLG, Shane is terrified of meeting the Centaurs, to the point that he and Ilya have a huge fight about even attending a team party as friends, depsite the widespread knowledge that Shane and Ilya are in fact friends, running a charity and hanging out occasionally.
We don't know how Shane coming out to his team went.
But we're gonna find out. Jacob Tierney promised us that. And he said his favourite scene is the Boxing Day fight.
JT is a great storyteller, he wants a good throughline.
Shane coming out to Montreal is going to fucking huuuuuuurt
Look. I am not going to argue whether Shane has a eating disorder or not. Orthorexia is extremely real and often endorsed by nutritionists so you know...
But Shane is a pro hockey player. He plays 82 games a year (not counting playoffs) and each game burns 1800-2500 calories, depending on how many minutes you're on the ice. Not to mention the workouts: strength training yes but cardio is incredibly important for hockey; SKATING IS HARD.
Hockey players aren't trying to keep weight off during the season, they're desperately trying to keep weight ON. And they're eating an absolute fuckton of carbs. That's the most real part of Frequently, Secretly Fond of Each Other.
Shane's on a macrobiotic diet in the show. He would be eating just so much rice. So much quinoa. So much OATMEAL. Whole grain pasta with pesto. Unbelievable amounts of fish. Sure, salad, but like, COBB SALAD. Almond Butter on whole grain bread.
Avoiding refined sugars is not the same as living on salad. You need carbs to play pro sports, not just protein.
Like. SO MUCH FOOD. He might never not be snacking. They're all always fucking eating. Constantly. Endlessly.
The biggest suspension of disbelief in the show is that two hockey players bulking up in the off season couldn't pack away four burgers each.
Check out Sidney Crosby's cottage doc. Nate McKinnon is chonky af in it because it's the off season. You pack on weight to prep!
Three weeks late but eh, who's really paying attention?
We have laid out Shane Hollander's Five Step Plan to Make A Hook Up Into A Husband.
A thorough, extensively researched, well thought out plan.
So now we ask the million dollar question: Is this plan a good plan?
Short Answer? Yes. Its a very good plan.
Long answer: Welllllll....
On paper? This plan is perfect. It's a perfect 10 year plan, the softest of soft launches. It is an excellent long game.
It's even reasonable that these two doorknobs think this is sustainable. After all, they managed to survive the last eight years, what's ten more?
Realistically, they are 26. They're in their prime, definitely, but 10 years is probably what they have left of hockey, and that's if neither of them has a career ending injury. The time they have left to play is not significantly longer than the time they have already played.
But they aren't taking into account something very important.
This:
(That's the "I love you" scene for those who are normal and can't identify every still of the show)
What neither Shane nor Ilya realize is being in love, having more time together, being more connected and in more of a relationship is actually going to make things significantly harder.
This is no one's fault. Neither has been in a significant long term romantic relationship; Shane has the girl he dated before the draft, and Ilya has Svetlana, a relationship that is friendly, not romantic.
Their situationship was casual and non-connective, and the NSA nature of it meant neither allowed themselves to really consider a future beyond the occasional random thought - thoughts that are unwelcome in the book.
The problem with a plan for the future is, it allows you to think about the future. And the more you think about the future, the more you want the future to happen now. And the more nights you spend holding each other, the more nights you'll WANT to spend holding each other.
The problem with a relationship is the possibilities are boundless, and you want them all. Waiting gets harder and harder, and the things that you use to distract yourself become less and less effective.
This will become a very real problem faster than they realize.
SPOILERS FOR THE LONG GAME FOLLOW
By the time TLG rolls around, Shane and Ilya are three years into their ten year plan, and both of them are struggling.
We see more of Ilya's struggle; Ilya is generally more connected to his own internal dialogue, and most of TLG is told from his viewpoint. He hates that he has no one talk to about Shane. He hates that he can't touch Shane at all in public. He hates that he has to do a career retrospective that features their rivalry and not tell everyone how he really feels about Shane.
Ilya of course shares very little of this with Shane due to his fear that his needs are a burden.
Shane is struggling too, though I suspect that neurotypicals don't see it. However there are two very significant tells: Shane is strongly committed to this plan, and Shane is strongly committed to his diet.
Shane is as filled with yearning as Ilya is, but his response is to deny what he wants and follow something that is rigid and dependable and easy to control.
This is a common neurodivergent response. Be uncomfortable. Be controlled. Be quietly unhappy. Allowing himself to actually feel all these feelings is going to lead to a meltdown, so he distracts himself because he has a plan, a very good plan, and all he needs to do is follow it, and one day it will all be worth it.
Thank god for the plane crash, because Shane might actually have collapsed under all this pressure without that sudden brutal reminder that there are things you cannot plan for.
Shane Hollander, one day we are going to talk about your propensity for understatement. This is not "an idea." And as much as I joke about Shane coming up with this plan while Ilya took a nap, a plan this well thought out is something that has been percolating in Shaney's mind for some time. But that's a thought for another day.
Without further ado:
Shane Hollander's Five Step Plan To Turn A Hook Up Into A Husband - with Commentary.
Step 1: Ilya transfers to Ottawa:
Why Ilya to Ottawa, not Shane to a 🤢 US team?
1. Ilya very specifically wants a Canadian passport. He's already said he's thinking of moving to a Canadian team. This aligns with his already stated plans.
2. No other teams are as close to each other as Ottawa and Montreal. Toronto is 5 hours by car, Winnipeg is further than Boston. If Shane goes to the US, he's still not getting any closer than that very short two hour drive.
3. Shane's parents live in Ottawa, so Shane has a valid, non Ilya reason to be there, and this cancels out the fact that Shane is super fucking popular in Ottawa as a hometown boy, because the rest of the plan will mitigate how quickly Shane will be recognized.
4. Ottawa needs a star centre and has the cap space, so Ilya choosing a big pay day makes sense to observers.
5. Ottawa sucks, but Boston sucked when Ilya was drafted and he got them a cup in five years. In theory he could do it again. He's close to doing exactly by the end of TLG, and in three years this time.
Step 2: Chill the rivalry. This also requires a move to Ottawa.
In order for Shane and Ilya to start being "friends," the Boston and Montreal of it all has to go. That rivalry is historic. The Sid/Ovi rivalry that partially inspired HR is a personal rivalry only. The actual team rivalry in this case is Pittsburgh/Philly. And Sid actively hates every single player on the Flyers. Montreal and Boston, as teams, and fan bases, really hate each other IRL.
There is no way Shane and Ilya can appear to be friends as long as they're on these teams. One of them has to transfer. And Ilya to Ottawa is the best choice.
Shane and Ilya, generational talents and draft classmates, can let go of their rivalry as they mellow and get older. Most players pitted against each other in this fashion do. There ARE always new rookies showing up with something to prove who could use a media friendly narrative to boost their careers. But the team rivalry has to end.
Step 3. Start a charity.
I don't know much about hockey player foundations specifically, but I have been on the boards of a few charities and yeah, starting a charity is a great way to make sure you spend copious amounts of time together. Not just the off season, but on general days off you could do board meetings, and promotions at All Stars and other MLH events give a cover for them to be together as well.
There's added benefits to this. Every promotional event, every media blitz, every interview, gives them the opportunity to talk each other up, and discuss their new friendship.
This allows them to cool their rivalry, a la step two, and mitigate Shane being so noticeable in Ottawa. So a fan sees them at coffee, so what? They're friends. It's totally normal. And everyone loves a good rivals to buddies story. Sportsmanship and all that jazz. They can have dinner, and bro hug on the ice, and it won't seem weird to anyone.
Step 4: Their On Ice Rivalry DOESN'T CHANGE.
This is extremely important. After all, this plan is supposed to carry them through to retirement. They're 26; it's reasonable for them to think they will be playing for at least ten more years, maybe 12 or 15. The rivalry has to stay strong on ice to avoid the very thing that happens in TLG: accusations of collusion.
This is a valid concern; the NHL is already considered rigged, specifically the Finals. Ilya and Shane have met in the finals a lot. If it came out they were dating the entire time they've been playing, every single game they have ever played against each other would be scrutinized, and even if nothing was ever proven, those allegations would be hard to beat.
This is specifically a concern for Shane, who already faces a level of discrimination based on his race. Shitty people would be looking for reasons to disqualify his wins, because he's not white and because he is so fucking skilled. And Shane is right to worry: this actually happens to him in The Long Game, when he trips.
Step 5: The camps.
I realize this comes later, but they're also a super important step. Not only will they help fund the Irina Foundation, they give Shane and Ilya yet another reason to see each other outside of the season, and since they're friends, staying at each other's houses also makes sense.
This also will normalize seeing them together amongst the people they have to convince the most: other MLH players.
The Boston/Montreal rivalry is very real. And moreso in the book, but also on the show, these two have consistently said "yeah we're rivals, we don't get along." Hayden says Shane hate Ilya more than anyone else does.
Their coworkers specifically need to see Shane and Ilya getting along. Again, this is a 10-15 year plan. It's a good idea to slowly normalize these two together. The camps really help that because they're a week long, not just a game or a media event.
Anyone can fake a media event. But faking friendship for a whole week while working with children? Less easy.
There we have it. Shane Hollander's plan. It's a thorough plan. But is it good? Is it feasible? Can they pull this off?
fuck it, i'm curious. reblog and tag with the first fictional death to ever rewrite your brain chemistry and/or make you cry like a baby. mine was ares from the underland chronicles (who, for context, was a giant bat.) to this day i will weep if i think too hard about it. okay, go.
Ilya says one cute little flirty line, and Shane, the least observant man alive - autistic AND a fucking jock - notices a microexpression or a slight change in aura or, I dunno, a glitch in the fuckin Matrix, and delivers the most perfect, most affirming line that has ever been delivered in an enemies to lovers story:
"Hey, that's not what this is, you and me. Maybe it was at first, but not now, and not for a long time."
SHANE HOLLANDER YOU ARE NEVER BEATING THE ALLEGATIONS.
THIS MOTHERFUCKER RIGHT HERE IS FULL ON OBSESSY-MESSY VAGUELY STALKERY OF ILYA ROZANOV.
BUT YOU THINK SHANE WOULD CHOSE HOCKEY. ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW
SPOILERS THROUGHOUT THREAD FOR THE LONG GAME SERIOUSLY STOP READING NOW IF YOU ARE TRYING TO REMAIN UNSPOILED
THIS IS ABOUT THAT SCENE WITH CROWELL. YOU KNOW OF WHAT I SPEAK IF YOU KNOW TLG
Before we start this possibly extremely long chat, I need to establish some things that are the basis of it.
1. Ilya is suffering from some form of mental illness. The book says depression, I say its more likely CPTSD, something generally caused by trauma, rather than an organic illness. Depression is a feature of CPTSD.
2. Ilya has always struggled with communicating how he feels, not just because of the language barrier but because Ilya is a traumatized child who never received therapy. He found his mother dead by suicide when he was 12, for fucks sake. Even if Grigori wasn't a nightmare, that's plenty of trauma right there.
3. Ilya is incapable of understanding that he is lovable and worthy of love. This requires therapy, not just, you know, actively being loved.
4. Therapy is a very long process, and Ilya is starting that process late in life. This is going to make it harder.
5. If you read Role Model before TLG you see that, to everyone around Ilya on the regular - team mates, Ottawa staff, neighbours, the Parents Hollander - Ilya is his usual, confident, outgoing self.
But in TLG Ilya has been having nightmares, and feels disconnected.He feels like he has let down the Centaurs by not being present enough, although no one on the Centaurs ever expresses this.
ALL THIS TO SAY, ILYA IS A HIGHLY UNRELIABLE NARRATOR.
We all on the same page so far, four threads in and nothing of import said?
Good. Brace yourselves for yelling.
THERE IS NO FUCKING WAY ON GAY HOCKEY JESUS SCOTT HUNTERS GREAT GREEN EARTH THAT SHANE WOULD EVER NOT CHOOSE ILYA. THAT WAS NEVER AN OPTION.
Whew. I feel better.
I know. I know on Boxing Day, when Ilya asks Shane if he would choose or Ilya, Ilya feels like Shane takes too long to answer but again. ILYA IS NOT A RELIABLE NARRATOR.
Here's where Ilya's many issues collide. Ilya is sad, his view of things is skewed to the negative, but most importantly, Ilya doesn't think he's worthy.
Ilya genuinely has no fucking clue just how much Shane loves him. None. He hasn't one single inkling of the depth of Shane's love.
Ilya knows Shane loves hockey, that he eat sleeps and breathes hockey, that everything Shane does is about getting better at hockey.
Ilya doesn't realize that Shane is the exact same way about Ilya as he is about hockey. Shane is completely obsessed. He spends all his time thinking about Ilya, about how to be better for him, he eats and sleeps and breathes Ilya.
Ilya quite simply cannot begin to fathom this level of love, because Ilya can't imagine a world where he deserves that.
That isn't Shane's fault; after all, given the barest encouragement, Shane planned their entire future together while Ilya took a nap. Shane decided to name their foundation after Ilya's mother. Shane offered his parents to Ilya happily. Shane is doing his best.
Right after the Boxing Day fight, Shane starts spiraling and punishing himself for not being good enough to Ilya.He bases this on failing to check Instagram, and forgetting he is the only person in Ilya's life who knows ilya well enough to know he's fucking mentally unwell. Shane acknowledges he did notice things but clearly not well enough since he missed the part where Ilya psychically communicated all his problems to Shane OH WAIT THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE.
When Crowell proposes they lie and sweep their outing under the rug, Ilya considers allowing that to happen, because he thinks Shane would want that.BECAUSE ILYA STILL HAS NO IDEA HOW OBSESSD SHANE IS. Despite Shane recreating pretty much identically the proposal Ilya had suggested three years earlier. Despite Shane saying Ilya cannot doe and leave Shane without him. Despite Shane saying "No, because I nearly died" post plane crash. Despite Shane constantly, repeatedly, coming back to Ilya FROM THE BEGINNING even when Ilya shoved him away.
There is no world where Shane in 2020 chooses hockey. He wasn't capable of making that choice when he and Ilya were just casual; Shane couldn't choose hockey over Ilya for the entire time he's known Ilya. It was always a bad idea, but it's an idea Shane couldn't let go.
What I would love to see the most in future!hollanov is Ilya finally fully realizing Shane can't imagine a world without him. Because ilya deserves to know how that feels, and Shane deserves to be fully seen by Ilya.
Happy Pride to these two messy bitches. Get your shit together.
We all know that everyone in Ottawa International Airport ABSOLUTLEY recognized Ilya right? But because Canada, no one would have bothered him. And because heteronormativity, no one would have guessed "to see Shane Hollander"
But you know what they would have guessed? That Ilya might be considering a trade to Ottawa. And you know why they said nothing?
Because hockey fans are just as superstitious as the players.
But yeah. Ilya thinking he looked like this and no one noticed him is HILARIOUS
17 year old Shane Hollander pouring over every single game tape he can find of teenage phenom Ilya Rozanov, hunting down the grainiest clips of his regional juniors team in Russia, feeling slightly hot under the collar as he watches him execute maneuverers none of his own teammates would dare try and some of which he's not sure he could perform himself: "I sure am excited to play against team Russia for reasons that are entirely sportsmanlike and rooted in a deep respect for the game and are not at all homosexual in nature."
sexism in medicine kills people. racism in medicine kills people. fatphobia in medicine kills people. queerphobia in medicine kills people. classism in medicine kills people. ableism in medicine kills people.
do not downplay people’s fears about being mistreated because they are a part of a marginalised group. it is a matter of life and death and you should be angry about it.
I think it's insane that even in the most leftist and "progressive" spaces the idea of equating morality with looks is alive and present and no one fucking bats an eye at it. like racists and mysoginysts are always portrayed as fat and hairy and generally unkept, as a contrast to the morally good and attractive leftists of course; people will have no problem being genuinely fucking awful about someone's appearance if they're deemed to be a "bad person". and the worst part is you point all of this out and people act like you're reading too much into things like no dude you gotta start using your brain more
Ok but I am not over this little exchange in the show. Cuz in the book, when Ilya talks about a girl, she's some rando in new york who is getting married, necessitating Ilya finding a replacement hook up, because there's three teams around New York, so he's there often.
But in the show, it's Svetlana. Svetlana, who is gorgeous, and loves hockey, and thinks Shane is hot and has great hands.
And literally this conversation sounds like Ilya trying to set Svetlana up with Shane.
Ilya (chatty): There is a girl I like here very much, Svetlana.
Shane (pissy): Oh?
Ilya (so casual): She's old friend, from Russia. Her father was famous goaltender of Soviet team. She knows everything about hockey.
Shane (still pissy): Cool.
Ilya (invitingly): And she likes you very much.
Shane (confused): Oh? That's nice.
Ilya: [Chuckling]
Shane (still confused): So she's, like, your girlfriend?
Ilya (dismissive): No, no. Nothing like that. She's old friend. Sometimes we f*ck, but... is nothing more than that.
And I fucking laugh every time, because WHAT IF? What if this was a slightly different timeline, and Shane says "oh, cool, does she want my number?" And Ilya has to fucking follow through on the dumbest thing he's ever done. Because he can't tell Shane "I LIED YOU CAN'T TALK TO HER" without telling Shane how he really feels, or saying his relationship with Svetlana is more serious than it is to the man Ilya's actually in love with
And Svetlana starts texting Shane, figures out he's Jane, and becomes her diabolical best self.
She starts texting Ilya about how much fun Shane is, and what great taste he has, and how they just get each other, and it's perfect because Shane LOVES talking hockey for HOURS and Ilya has to just smile and be okay with it, and every time he mentions Svetlana to Shane, Shane is confused because they're just friendly chatting about hockey cuz Sveta would NEVER move on Ilya's man but boy is she having fun.
And Ilya's grinding his teeth to the fkn bone because Ilya thinks Shane's being private and Svetlana cannot shut the fuck up about them. AND HE CANNOT SAY A THING
Anyway. This is the romcom behaviour I think about sometimes.
