I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!
Sure, I’ll reblog that.

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@theninthsailor
I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!
Sure, I’ll reblog that.
college is like *gets an email* *walks somewhere* *realizes u left ur water bottle at home* *walks somewhere* *walks somewhere* *gets an email* *gets an email*
adulthood is just experiencing this gif again and again until you die
i don’t think you guys understand how much I think about this vid
Ocarina of Time Temples by Tom Garden
At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.
yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail
tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation
“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?”
“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”
“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”
“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”
“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”
“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”
“Hourly?”
“Hourly what?”
“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”
“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”
“Sold. Off we go.”
“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”
“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”
“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”
“well, sure, of course.”
*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”
This resonates on a spiritual level
a baby
This is so relatable, I’m dying.
LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK
For those of you who aren’t going to vote in the 2020 election because Bernie or whoever didn’t win primaries.
republican bitches really be having babies with their military husbands at age 18, moving to the middle of fuck empty USA and being like "this... Is living ❤️"
we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything
Tweet of our fucking lifetime
I want a new character
Then make one.
“Then make one” has the same energy as “then perish” but like. Opposite. Same and opposite.
Once again, The Onion is not even in the general vicinity of fucking around