River is River in River

River. 27. STL. 🏳️‍🌈.

[chadhulk]

I have mixed thoughts on sex work. I love sex, but I hate work!

[fuckboyzuko]

Sure, I’ll reblog that.

[brittany-murphy]

[robe-and-wizard-hat]

[renskylo-deactivated20211212]

[vol14-remade-deactivated2021051]

college is like *gets an email* *walks somewhere* *realizes u left ur water bottle at home* *walks somewhere* *walks somewhere* *gets an email* *gets an email*

[m-obscene]

-

[yeehawlw]

‪adulthood is just experiencing this gif again and again until you ‬die

[kawaki]

i don’t think you guys understand how much I think about this vid

[retrogamingblog]

Ocarina of Time Temples by Tom Garden

[writing-prompt-s]

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

[crazymuff1n-deactivated20230428]

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

[piningeddie]

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

[copperbadge]

“Does the position of Chosen One offer health benefits of any kind?” 

“Well, our ragtag gang of world-saving underdogs has a doctor on-team.”

“Do I have to pay her out of pocket, is what I’m asking.”

“Gosh no! She’s an idealist, you don’t pay her at all!”

“Oh! That’s nice. But then I guess there’s no paycheck.”

“I mean, the secret cabal that dispenses our orders does make sure we have enough money to feed ourselves and keep a roof over our secret lair and such.”

“Hourly?”

“Hourly what?”

“Like have you guys ever had to punch a time clock?”

“We once had to dismantle a sinister time-freezing device in the shape of a clock….otherwise no.”

“Sold. Off we go.” 

[jumpingjacktrash]

“do i have to be nice to people who are yelling at me?”

“we’re the good guys, you can’t kill random civilians just because they’re mean!”

“kill?? no, i mean, can i tell them off.”

“well, sure, of course.”

*rips name tag off shirt and tosses it over shoulder* “i’m your huckleberry.”

[pathfuckery]

This resonates on a spiritual level

[cardinailed0]

a baby

[brainless-out-deactivated201812]

This is so relatable, I’m dying.

[systlin]

LOUDER FOR THOSE IN THE BACK

[deadindeathvalley]

For those of you who aren’t going to vote in the 2020 election because Bernie or whoever didn’t win primaries.

[omegaverse]

republican bitches really be having babies with their military husbands at age 18, moving to the middle of fuck empty USA and being like "this... Is living ❤️"

[theredpelican]

we’re literally floating on a tiny planet in fucking space why are we surrounded by hatred and misery. why can’t everyone just calm the fuck down and lay on some grass. the sun is a GIANT BURNING ORB why does money exist. fuck everything

[ignorantsanonymous]

[camellia-quince]

Tweet of our fucking lifetime

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

[2rsquared]

I want a new character

[theprettyboysclub]

Then make one.

[mundanemelusina]

“Then make one” has the same energy as “then perish” but like. Opposite. Same and opposite.

[beggars-opera]

Once again, The Onion is not even in the general vicinity of fucking around