The Once and Future Ship

We call everything on the ice, love.

[scarletbirbs]

If Tumblr came out with polls, I would use them so irresponsibly. I know why they haven't, because they know that me and like 95% of the people on here would be chaotic fuckers about it. There'd be polls like "whose dick would you rather suck?" and the options would be like Shrek, Sans, The Onceler, some anime dude no one has heard of, and Karkat Vantas and then in the comments people would be legitimately throwing hands about it as if there was a singular correct answer to that question. I don't know if anyone could survive the carnage.

[scarletbirbs]

whose dick would you rather suck?

Shrek

Sans

Some anime dude no one else has heard of

The Onceler

Karkat Vantas

Voting ended onJan 25, 2023

[whiteantcrawls]

[tuxedodan]

[surprisebitch]

[bibliotheksbewohnerin]

tumblr is trending on twitter EVERYONE HIDE

[fangorn-forest]

tumblr rn

[nitewrighter]

I was about to make a post about like… how my family has this lemon tree out front, and one of the funniest things about having a lemon tree is occasionally I’ll be out in front doing whatever and I’ll see someone walking past and quickly grab a lemon off the tree and stuff it in their pockets as quick as they can like they’re shoplifting. 

I was about to make a post about how that’s funny and how, y’know people can have our lemons, it’s not a big deal because the tree pumps them out like gangbusters, but I really can’t make that post without thinking of… them…

[pretentioussongtitle]

I’ll admit it, OP. As soon as you mentioned your family had a lemon tree in their yard I wanted to ask you how they were dealing with the whore infestation.

[asklittlepip]

World's biggest mod site bans mods replacing Pride flags: 'We don't want to and won't argue this with you'

Following community drama around a Spider-Man mod, Nexusmods says enough is enough.

“We don’t want to and won’t argue this with you. We’ve now explained our stance and we won’t be providing a platform for you to distort our position in order to feed an irrational and paranoid narrative. You can do that elsewhere, where we won’t care enough to read it.”

Gotta love Nexus Mods’ post on this, which is the best kind of response!

[strelark]

You know the mod who wrote this really enjoyed it

[marxistprincess]

[marxistprincess]

This

[spadefish]

Honestly the best part of being a barista was charging cops for their drinks. They're so used to getting free shit so it was SOOOOO good for them to pull up to the window and for me to be like "$6.47 :)" and them to make this whole elaborate display of slowly pulling their wallet out and handing their card over bc they weren't expecting to pay. I'd charge you double if I could, oink oink bitch

[mintycoolnessisrelevant]

genuinely worst part of food service was being forced to give cops a discount. never have i experienced bootlicking so bad until i had a manager breathing down my neck abt this

[spadefish]

Yeah my stupid shift supervisors would make me if they saw but if they DIDNT see then it's fair game, baby

[toga-vibes]

LMAO one time in the beginning of the pandemic, I gave an ICU nurse from the hospital across the street a free latte and upgraded it to a large for her. The cop behind her looked so smug and sure that I was gonna give him a free drink but only productive members of society get free things from me :)

[spadefish]

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES

[ask--glados]

Visit Original Link

[Not my recordings. This is what’s left of the dialogue in question.]

[amagicalduck47]

Valve play testers: *crying*

Me, a lesbian:

[theconcealedweapon]

[lungthief]

not to sound like a medieval peasant or a catholic but i resent anti-carb propaganda so much like bread will never be evil it is holy it is divine it is one of life’s most simple yet decadent pleasures. love is stored in the bread

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

“poison is the coward’s weapon” boo hoo sounds like someone’s sodium channels are easily inhibited

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

if your deoxyribonucleosides depurinate I just don’t see how that’s my problem

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

like, it’s not like I asked your vesicle fusion mediating proteins to cleave and block acetylcholine release... you can’t keep deflecting responsibility for your own actions onto me just because I “put something in your food”

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

“you’re trying to kill me” yeah well have you tried being less sensitive

to poison

[icicledream-archive]

[cottoneyenoh]

Visit Original Link

glados poisons you asmr

(glados voice made with 15.ai)

[lowpolyanimals]

Crypt Rat from Old School RuneScape

[greatlordfluffernutter]

you’re telling me THIS guy’s voicing Mario?

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[whydidisavethistomyphone]