This post is about shadow work: what is it? how do you do it? what are some shadow work prompts? why is it important?
Shadow work is defined as the process of exploring aspects of yourself that you keep locked away or hidden in order to grow, heal, and learn.
What is your shadow self?
Your shadow self “dark side” of yourself. This side of yourself is the unconscious that your conscious does not identify in itself. Your shadow self holds your primitive, negative emotions. This can detail impulses like rage, envy, greed, desire, and other things largely considered as negative impulses.
How Do You Begin Shadow Work?
Shadow work, like many things, should be done in the way that is best for you. Shadow work can be done through many forms, and it’s up to you to experiment and find which are best for you. Below, I’ll list common ways to do shadow work.
Journaling is the most common way to do shadow work, as it helps you to record your progress and fully answer what your subconscious mind needs you to know so you can begin a healing process. With journaling, you can look back on your prompts and further delve into them, or look at what healing you need to do.
Journaling does not need to be done on paper. This is a form that can be done on paper, in a notes app, in a google doc, basically anything where you write things down.
For journaling it is best to use prompts that focus on the subconscious issues you’d like to target. Later on in this post I will put my list of shadow work prompts in case you are in need of any.
Divination can be a form of shadow work depending on what questions you are asking. If you choose to do shadow work through divination there are spreads and specific questions that I find work best.
The questions I would personally ask would be along the lines of the following:
-“What parts of myself do I need to focus on healing?”
-“What am I subconsciously keeping from myself that is holding back my healing process?”
-“How can I best work on healing [whatever you want to work on]?”
Card 1: A card to represent me now.
Card 2: What shadow am I avoiding?
Card 3: What am I projecting in my relationships?
Card 4: Where am I holding myself back?
Card 5: How can I be kinder to myself while I learn?
Card 6: What can I look forward to for when I start getting to know my shadow?
Card 1: In what ways am I restricting myself?
Card 2: Why have I put these walls around me? What am I afraid of?
Card 3: How can I best work with or release my fears to free myself and grow into my potential?
Card 1: What shadow behavior is preventing me from moving forward right now?
Card 2: What work must I do to uncover and resolve that shadow behavior?
Card 3: What parts of my self must I be prepared to face in this work?
Those are just a few examples of the many shadow work spreads that are out there!
Meditation can be a wonderful step in the healing process and discovering the parts of yourself that you’ve repressed. There are plenty of meditations specifically for shadow work and releasing trauma if you just look around! This is also a good way to contact spirit guides and get help from them through your journey.
1. What is my greatest fear? And why?
2. Do I fear being alone? Why or why not?
3. What does my biggest fear stem from?
4. What kind of person do I fear becoming?
5. What is the best way to conquer my fear?
6. How does my fear affect my life on a daily basis?
7. Does my fear affect other people?
8. When did I first notice my fear? Describe the memory.
9. What do I fear most about others?
10. Why am I afraid of being my true self around others?
11. What do I fear about my future the most?
12. What does my inner child fear?
13. What fear is my core driver in my life?
14. Why am I afraid of this thing?
15. Is my fear reasonable? Why or why not?
16. How can I reconcile with the people who made me fear particular things?
17. What do I fear reliving from my past?
1. What does my inner child need to be able to heal?
2. What has hurt my inner child?
3. What do I need to apologize to my inner child for?
4. What hurt me the most during my childhood? Why?
5. What was my happiest childhood memory?
6. Who was my childhood bestfriend? Why were we close?
7. What things made me happy as a kid?
8. What did I do for fun as a child and why did I stop doing these things?
9. Where did I feel safest as a child?
10. Who was my hero as a child and why did I look up to them?
11. Who hurt me the most during my childhood? Do I forgive them? Why?
12. When did I lose my childhood innocence?
13. How did I look at life as a child? How is that different now?
14. How can I treat my inner child with love and kindness now?
15. Did I get enough love as a child? If not, how could I have gotten more love?
16. In what ways does my inner child now affect my life?
17. What is my inner child currently feeling?
18. What is my inner child afraid of?
1. Why do I fear romance?
2. Did I have a good example of a romantic relationship growing up? A platonic one?
3. What couple do I consider my romantic inspiration?
4. How much of my idea of romance is based on film?
5. What experiences with men make me fear them now?
6. Are my friendships healthy?
7. How do I feel about sex? Why?
8. Why does the idea of a relationship with a woman make me both excited and scared?
9. Why do I conform to society’s idea of a good relationship?
10. Am I good at communicating in relationships?
11. Are my boundaries good in relationships?
12. What relationships in the past have most affected me?
13. Which relationships in the past made me lose trust in people?
14. Which relationships in the past made me anxious I’m unlovable?
15. Do I feel loved by those I’m close to? Why or why not?
16. What relationships in the past have made me uncomfortable?
17. Why are relationships difficult for me to maintain?
18. Why is loving romantically difficult for me?
19. Why do I have a bad relationship with myself?
20. What qualities do I look for in friends? In romantic partners? In sexual partners?
21. Do I take control in relationships or give it up? Why?
22. What is my ideal friendship?
23. What is my ideal idea of a romantic relationship?
24. Do I enjoy romance? Why or why not?
2. Why do I view myself the way that I do?
3. Why do I conform to societal beauty standards?
4. Do I think I’m beautiful physically? Why or why not?
5. What parts of myself do I hate the most?
6. What is the worst aspect of my personality? Why do I think this?
7. What is the thing I regret the most? Why?
8. Why do I have issues with body image?
9. Why do I have issues with loving my personality?
10. What would I describe myself as?
11. Do I think more positively or negatively about myself? Why?
12. Does my idea of self-worth come from others perceptions of me? If so, why?
13. Am I good enough for myself? Why or why not?
14. Am I worthy of the love I receive? Why or why not?
1. What do I define happiness as? Why?
2. Do I consider myself happy? Why or why not?
3. What do I think would bring happiness into my life?
4. Do I think my life would be better if I was happy?
5. Do I believe happiness really exists as a constant thing?
6. What do I know makes me happy?
7. What are my best childhood memories that bring joy?
1. What would I describe myself as?
2. What is my favorite color, animal, food, etc. Why these things?
3. Do I know who I am currently? If not, when was the last time I did know who I was?
4. What makes me feel happy? What makes me feel sad? What makes me feel angry? Why do these things make me feel this way?
5. If i could reshape my life to be anything, what would I make it and why?
6. What’s my favorite movie? Why?
7. What’s my best memory? Why do I consider it my best memory?
8. Do I mold myself to fit other people’s wants? If yes, why?
9. Do I really dislike myself or is that societal conditioning?
10. What is my favorite thing about me?
11. What is my least favorite thing about me?
12. What do I need to work on to better myself?
13. What is my biggest regret and why?
14. Did trauma play a big part in who I am? If yes, which traumas and why?
15. What are my core beliefs? What morals do I have set? Why?
16. What are things that I won’t forgive? Why?
17. Do I give others too many chances? If so, why?
18. What are my favorite songs? Why?
19. What’s my favorite book? Why?
1. Why do I blame myself for being touched against my will? How can I forgive myself and shift the blame to the person who deserves it?
2. Can I forgive them? Why or why not?
3. Do I still love them? How does being around them make me feel?
4. How did I feel in the moment? Did I know what was happening? Did it feel real? Did I think it was just another silly game?
5. How would I describe my emotions once I realized?
6. How do I feel about my body knowing that someone has touched it when I didn’t want them to?
7. Can I ever forgive them for the way that they touched me?
8. Do I still relive that experience sometimes? What does reliving it feel like?
9. What would I say to the me that was experiencing this in the past?
10. Do I wish I could take back that experience? Why or why not?
11. Do I still feel their hands on my body? What do they feel like? How does that make me feel emotionally?
12. Did this event change my view on myself sexually? Did it make me hypersexual or do I lack a sex drive now?
13. Do I feel like I’m still the scared little kid trapped in the moment I realized what was going on? Why?
14. What is my relationship with myself like after this happened? Do I view myself as a mere object compared to being a person now?
15. Do I validate this trauma? Why or why not?
16. If I were to confront my assaulter, what would I say?
Abandonment/Attachment Issues Prompts
1. When was the first time I felt abandoned? How did that make me feel?
2. Why do I get attached so easily? How does having someone close to me all the time make me feel?
3. Do I actually not like being alone or am I afraid it means I’ll be alone forever?