just my thoughts...

[thepurewillreign]

hi! im thepurewillreign and i am a writer, i write poems, journals? i think, and some random things.

uhmm, this is supposedly for school but a lot of things happened and it became my personal account, a safe place, where i express myself in different ways. <333

please please bear with my grammatical errors lol u can correct me w respect of course coz im kinda soft hearted.

[thepurewillreign]

does anyone pray for me?

does anyone pray for my happiness?

does anyone pray for my healing?

does anyone pray for my peace of mind?

for the burdens i carry in silence,

for the storms i weather alone?

does anyone ask for my joy to return,

for my heart to feel light again,

for love to find me and stay?

does anyone whisper my name in their prayers?

hoping the universe hears and grants me grace?

or am i forgotten in the quiet moments,

lost in the noise of a busy world?

I wrote this today!

September 12, 2024

[thepurewillreign]

i hate u

i hate u for making me feel this way

i hate that i care for u, that i always look for u

i hate that i crave ur presence, ur touch, ur smile, the way u look at me

i hate that i still like u even i have a long list of reasons not to

i hate to be involved in every wrong decisions u make

i hate that i keep on trying to tell u things that u should do

i hate that u don't listen to me

i hate that u always have a reason to not do things with me, to not to listen to me

i hate that even i try my best to explain what i feel, u seem like u don't care

i hate that they think that i'm fucked up because i can't commit to u

i hate when they say why i couldn't just answer u, be ur gf, put label on us

i hate it because they don't know what's going on between us

i hate myself for giving u hundreds of chance to prove me that i'm wrong, and that u can do better

i hate that til this day, i convince myself to give u benefit of the doubt that u already ruined from the first place

i hate to think that i can fix u

i hate that i am more willing than u

01-04-24

[thepurewillreign]

she said a lot of reasons for leaving me

but loving me is not enough reason for her to stay

did she really loved me?

is it TRUE love?

did she really MEAN IT?

i know a lot about her

but she?

she never got to know me.

i regret liking her

but why blame myself?

all i did was genuine

thank God it didn't get to the point that i love her

because the universe know how much i could give

11-14-23

[thepurewillreign]

the truth is

i love meeting new people

but i hate when they leave

which they must

10-20-23

[thepurewillreign]

I had a friend

my best friend

she's w me thru thick n thin

she's w me w everything

but that was before

before we slip away

she took a piece of me

broke my heart and left me

but she will always have a space in me

years will pass before im ready

I guess it's true

that what isn't for u

will never remain in ur life

10-18-23

[thepurewillreign]

I will never regret being kind

I always knew

it had possible consequences

if there is

in some situations

but I choose kindness

with my whole heart

with my whole soul

10-13-23

[thepurewillreign]

to express my softness with u

is everything

to show who truly i am

is all that i want

10-12-23

[thepurewillreign]

my heart burst when

she makes me feel special

and she's loyal

without me asking

without me begging

10-11-23

[thepurewillreign]

I miss the feeling

of being loved,

cared,

and cherished.

I miss how someone

can make me feel

more than what I want,

more than what I need.

10-10-23

[thepurewillreign]

Hikbi

ang hirap mong mahalin

why am i sufferin?

sobrang daming emosyon,

bigat ng bawat tulo ng ambon.

ano ba talagang gamot sa depresyon?

gugutumin na lang ang sarili,

kesa magkwento sa katabi.

sa tuwing sila'y may sinasabi,

ako'y nabibingi

ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin,

hanggang huling hikbi,

hanggang maubos ang sarili,

hanggang mapagtantong di pala sila mali,

pero mas gugustuhin pa ring magsisi sa huli,

kung ikaw lang din ang dahilan ng lahat ng sakit.

10-09-23

[thepurewillreign]

Connection

I crave him.

when our eyes met,

with cars passing by,

with rain pouring down.

I crave him.

when he talks to me,

asked me how i was

his casual words like

we've been together last month

I crave him.

the way our mind connect in the past,

our relationship that didn't last,

I crave him like i know in the end it's us.

04-03-23

[thepurewillreign]

imy poeting

di ko alam kung miss na kita

o miss ko na yung pakiramdam na nanjan ka

miss ko na yung good morning at goodnight mo

miss ko na yung boses mo

yung nga rant mo tungkol sa pamilya mo

sa trabaho mo, sa buhay mo

miss ko na yung pagccare ko sayo

na minsan mo lang mareciprocate kasi di ka affectionate

pero okay lang sakin

okay lang sakin noon

hanggang sa hindi na okay

may pagkukulang din naman ako pero

mas gusto kong isipin lahat ng pagkukulang mo

gusto kong magalit na lang sayo

para malimutan ko na rin kung panong ako ang naging mundo mo

pero alam mo, sa totoo lang

yakap ko pa rin sa gabi yung hello kitty na binigay mo

pumapasok ka pa rin sa isip ko, madalas pag nag iinom ako

alam kong ayaw mo non nung tayo pa

naiinis pa nga ko sayo non

pero mas naiinis ako na umabot tayo sa ganito

umabot sa wala nang tayo

(considered as relapse ba ituuu)

[thepurewillreign]

sobrang random realization habang nagsscroll sa fb

our boyfriends/girlfriends, our partners really do play a big part when it comes to our own friends, like our relationships with other people.

and vice versa, kasi most of the time our friends also have opinions sa love life natin and they can influence us talaga lol.

cause it's not always na they connect with each other the way u connect with them. kaya sometimes nagcclash sila, ur partner and ur friend/s. sometimes pa, they don't want u to keep ur relationship with the other person, so it's hard.

I think sa mga gantong situations, it's either may misunderstanding or it's a sign that maybe u should be wiser when choosing people that enter ur life.

[thepurewillreign]

so my partner and i broke up.

i'm okay.

i think so.

idk what to feel, honestly.

sometimes i'm sad sad, sometimes i'm okay (sad but focusing on positive sides - like our growth individually, etc.)

it's been days, like less than a week since we've last spoken. but it felt like our connections with each other were gone months ago.

i actually talked about it with her even before, cause i wanna be transparent with her. i think we kinda grew apart, I GREW APART. i knew it. i felt it. that's why i told her about it.

i don't wanna give up just because of that so i told her to help me, cause i can't do it alone, i need her help. we did our best, i did, but i felt like it's not working out.

i honestly don't wanna end it (i still love her, she's my best friend, she's with me at my lowest, and she's my only "sure thing" ever since i left my house where i grew up, i see my future with her which is so rare cause i'm not comfortable living with other people even in my mind),

but also, i don't wanna be unfair to her, i don't wanna be selfish, i need to let her go.

there's still part of me that wanna come back to her, she said she'll wait and i'm lowkey hoping that when i'm ready again, she's still there. but if not, i guess we're not really for each other. still thankful for everything we had.

this is what i'm avoiding, cause the friendship we had is so good and amazing i can't even explain it. and now it's gone. :'((( i want it back. i love her sm.

july 14, 2023

[thepurewillreign]

Napakaganda ng mga napag-usapan kanina sa pa-Random Google Meet ni Toni Panagu!

Ang husay niya talaga. Sana magamit ko lahat ng aking mga natutuhan tungkol sa pagsusulat ng tula.

Grabe, naghahanap ako kanina ng pwede kong i-share pero parang wala akong naisulat na sakto sa deskripsyon nya. Nakalulungkot man, ngayon mayroon na akong ideya para sa mga susunod na isusulat kong tula.

Mas pinili kong sumali sa meeting kaysa mag-ml lol. Sorry na babe kung tumanggi ako. Mahal kita. Mahal ko rin ang pagsulat ng tula.

[thepurewillreign]

Thin Bristles of Discontentment

thinking again

about all that happened

poisoning my vein

ignoring the pain

why am I feeling this way?

should I stay away?

is this just a play?

if so, I want you to stay

don't want this game to end

neither want her to offend

atleast I wanna be your friend

but people won't comprehend

there's no more rain

but I'm feeling drained

can't get you out of my brain

I don't know how to explain

brushing off the thoughts of us

pretending it's just a dust

until I'm brave enough

of this "love is tough"

*I wrote this tonight March 25, 2023

-thepurewillreign