so my partner and i broke up.
idk what to feel, honestly.
sometimes i'm sad sad, sometimes i'm okay (sad but focusing on positive sides - like our growth individually, etc.)
it's been days, like less than a week since we've last spoken. but it felt like our connections with each other were gone months ago.
i actually talked about it with her even before, cause i wanna be transparent with her. i think we kinda grew apart, I GREW APART. i knew it. i felt it. that's why i told her about it.
i don't wanna give up just because of that so i told her to help me, cause i can't do it alone, i need her help. we did our best, i did, but i felt like it's not working out.
i honestly don't wanna end it (i still love her, she's my best friend, she's with me at my lowest, and she's my only "sure thing" ever since i left my house where i grew up, i see my future with her which is so rare cause i'm not comfortable living with other people even in my mind),
but also, i don't wanna be unfair to her, i don't wanna be selfish, i need to let her go.
there's still part of me that wanna come back to her, she said she'll wait and i'm lowkey hoping that when i'm ready again, she's still there. but if not, i guess we're not really for each other. still thankful for everything we had.
this is what i'm avoiding, cause the friendship we had is so good and amazing i can't even explain it. and now it's gone. :'((( i want it back. i love her sm.