Rainbow Pencils

A blog all about appreciating LGBTQ+ media and offering advice as those from the LGBTQ+

[therainbowpencils]

Our Little Rainbow

Hello writerblr, character writer, or other creative persons. Welcome to The Rainbow Pencils. To start off, an explanation of the blog. This is a blog for supporting LGBTQ+ writers and writing, along with giving writing advice from our own experience as LGBTQ+ individuals. Our asks are open for anyone who has questions about the LGBTQ+, so keep in mind how a mod is a part of the LGBTQ+ before asking a question. You can also submit your OCS (whether they feature in a wip, a roleplay, a fandom, or tabletop game) or LGBTQ+ writing that way.

Keep in mind being curious and uneducated, but willing to learn is much different than being homophobic. Our asks are not a place for you to go off about why you think (insert LGBTQ+ identity here) is not valid. We also value curiosity, but there's a difference between that and questions that are grossly personal/cross a line. Asks of this nature will be deleted.

Note: We do not view MAPs as a part of the LGBTQ+ community and do not welcome them here.

Now, to introduce the mods!

✏Mod Echo✏

Hello! You can call me Echo. My main blog is @shydreamyechoes. I go by he/they pronouns, and I am a sex-repulsed asexual, along with being bi/demiromantic, and trans. I am not comfortable with revealing how I became sex-repulsed, but I am happy to explain what it means and how it feels/affects those who want to understand. I tend to write fantasy, horror, and romance stories, with a leaning toward anti-hero characters. All my writing projects are currently wips, though the draft of the first FAI book is coming along nicely. I absolutely love writing LGBTQ+ characters and I can't wait to see everyone else's! I would also love to have more demiromantic representation and will do my best to educate others on the orientation.

✏Mod Pan✏

You can call me Pan! Or Pan the pan pan, or the pan pan, or perhaps Pan the frying pan… Pan is probably the easiest, but call me whatever you want that is recognizable! My pronouns are they/them and I’m a nonbinary, polyamorous pansexual. My Tumblr is @mildlysuspicioustoaster. I’m not actually a writer, but I do enjoy other works and I like making characters and stories for roleplaying. My story ideas, for the most part, are pretty silly and meant to just be fun and not taken too seriously most of the time. My character ideas can range from complete jokes to tragic characters and everything in between, so they can vary significantly, but most have been made for a medieval fantasy setting and most are LGBTQ+ in one way or another. Also, I’m beginning to realize I have a pattern in naming myself after random objects online.

✏Mod Denise✏

My main blog is @arigalefantasynovels, but you can call me Denise. I don't mind throwing my first name out there since my full name is on my books anyway. My pronouns are she/her. I am demisexual, bisexual, and polyamorous. Yes, all very erased identities, so it took me ages to figure myself out. I tend to write fantasy of all kinds, from medieval vibes to paranormal modern tales. I write novels and share excerpts and side chapters at times. My debut Arigale: Spite in the Spirit (book one) released in August 2021. There are many LGBTQ+ characters in the Arigale series that I am excited to share with you all. Feel free to chat with me. I may be introverted and anxious, but I love to help people.

(Also our bookend creator ^)

[sexy-seabass-deactivated2023060]

🌈 for your ocs in general? Thanks!

Helloooo (:

🌈 Are they LGBTQ+ In what ways? How do they feel about that?

I’m sure I forgot some but here they are

Mike: ace. He’s pretty chill about it

Andrea: lesbian. She kinda freaked out at first but now she embraces it

Sophia: shes pan but also one of those hardcore feminists so she’s a little angry that she still likes men.

Thanks for the ask (:

[therainbowpencils]

LGBTQ+ and Framing

There is absolutely nothing wrong with making an evil or heavily flawed character also be part of the LGBTQ+. Just like any group, we have our good apples or the bad apples. The issue is when the "framing" of the character heavily focuses on said characters LGBTQ+ status, implying it is the cause of this behavior and/or using this to elevate the straight, cis characters.

I used the word also above for a reason. This should be a part of the character, not their whole character. Ignoring the horrible implications for now, even if your LGBTQ+ character is a complete cinnamon roll, if their only true character trait is that they're LGBTQ+, they're bad representation. We are more than our sexuality or romantic orientation. We are normal human beings just like everyone else, not cute/zany novelties, and deserve to be treated as such, in and outside of fiction.

That being said, focusing heavily on someone's LGBTQ+ status while also making them a villain brings on even worse implications. It implies that not only are we just our sexuality or romantic orientation, but that this also makes us wrong, unnatural, and horrible people. This framing treats any LGBTQ+ status as something that takes over us in some messed up way, dehumanizing us and making us look like monsters.

Going on to put this type of character up against a straight/cis protagonist ends up sending an aggressive "us vs them" narrative. That is to say "the LGBTQ+ are scary and weird, but those who are cis/straight are normal and safe". It is important to be careful about how you frame LGBTQ+ villains. Their status should have nothing to do with their main motivations and actions.

Now, I know someone may ask "but what about villains that become that way due to discrimination?" and framing is just as delicate here. If you frame them as being a tragic, redemptive villain, that is truly trying to do what is best and not cross any serious lines, with the heroes realizing this and reaching out in the end, I think that's fine. If you allow them to stay a villain, yet have another LGBTQ+ character who has gone through the same pain showcase how those fighting against discrimination are not always that way, I think that is also fine (Black Panther is an amazing example of this done right).

However, if you don't let them redeem themselves, make it cause them to heavily push over those lines without other LGBTQ+ characters showing how it didn't have to, and paint it as "correct" for the heroes to beat them down in spite of this pain, you have a problem. It sends a message that the LGBTQ+ fighting against discrimination are actually wrong. That they're too demanding/unreasonable, or worse, become violent if they don't get their way, and that it is the straight/cis people that need to shut them down and keep things in order.

In the end, it's really all about framing. Ask yourself, "what is my story saying about this character, and how could that affect the LGBTQ+ community?".

[bauliya]

just gonna leave this here

[satanfemme]

when people try to make their (shallow at best) feminism sound inclusive to nonbinary people but accidentally let slip their prejudices in the process. "men aren't pretty, women and nonbinary people are pretty." "fuck men, I only like women and nonbinary people." and ofc the classic "safe space for women and nonbinary people, no men allowed." like damn that's crazy. can't wait until you find out about nonbinary men too though 😑. or, can't wait until you find out about masculine nonbinary people in general tbh, cause I know they're not who u have in mind with these statements. by choice and not there's nonbinary people out there who look and present exactly how u imagine binary men do, of all ages, and maybe you need to wrap your cute little head around that before even attempting to speak on "nonbinary rights" or whatever.

[satanfemme]

like, if ur including 18 yr old she/they demigirls who don't want to go on T but always wear pronoun pins in your activism, that's great. but if you want to speak on nonbinary people as a whole group, you're also speaking on 30-something year old he/him men who're already balding, who have full beards, who are stealth as cis men (if not cishet men) in their workplaces, who aren't twink-y and who might not own a single piece of make-up, and who may or may not be physically transitioning. And when they say they're nonbinary they're just as nonbinary as the first example I gave.

this is why "men vs non-men" doesn't work. some people are both. some people aren't both, but by your prejudice standards might cross the line. ffs some nonbinary people are a woman and ALSO a man. there is no secondary binary you can salvage out of this. and if you don't reframe your nonbinary activism to include these people and support these people too, you are a bad activist and frankly being transphobic -- not only towards masculine nonbinary people, but also towards the feminine/androgynous nonbinary people who you're not so subtly trying to simplify to "woman-lite".

[therainbowpencils]

Sex-repulsion and Writing

This is mostly from my own experience and focuses on those who became sex-repulsed for one reason or another, but I still think it's important to note. Just because a sex-repulsed person may write, "mildly steamy" let's call it, content or pairings now and then does not mean they are comfortable with being exposed to it, nor does it invalidate their sex-repulsed status. Let me explain.

Whether you notice it or not, there are a lot of safeguards one has as a writer;

They know relatively how events will begin and end.

They have full control over what is shown and what is not.

They know the kind of person their character is.

They know what their characters are comfortable with and their mental process during certain events.

One is a safety net because the sex-repulsed individual understands how far or not far an event will go and are in complete control over it. In that sense, writing a steamy scene becomes less intimidating because they are free to stop or continue where they feel comfortable. This is not the case when reading the content of others. They do not know what to expect or how far a scene might go, and that can be extremely intimidating.

Two works in a similar way, focusing on how far or not far something will go. Sex repulsion can be complex to those that have it, and what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable can vary. So having control of the type of content and what is avoided is extremely helpful. Tagging and trigger warnings may help others' content be less intimidating, but ultimately does not change the personalized nature of a sex-repulsed person's own writing.

Three works as a safety net by well...being a safety net for the characters as well. Sex-repulsed individuals can be assured there will be no interactions that give off creepy vibes for them, and that characters will never be exposed to interactions that make them uncomfortable. At the same time, the sex-repulsed individual having control of the characters' comfort levels means they can match theirs and characters can be quite compatible from the get-go.

Finally, number four. Knowing that characters feel absolutely safe and trust each other is a big safety net. Even if a character has anxieties, we understand they are unfounded, and that events are not crossing a line for them. Whether or not this is expressed directly in the writing itself, a writer will ultimately know, and when reading other content that may be stuck to one of the unfamiliar character's POVs, that safety net is erased.

Occasionally dabbling into these topics does not mean it is not frightening or gross to the sex-repulsed individual, rather that, through writing, they can create a safe space to explore this topic. Others are not comfortable with dabbling into it at all, and that is completely valid as well!

Writing is a great way for others to explore concepts that frighten or disturb them in a safe environment, however, we have to remember the power one has as a writer and how that is removed when they become a reader. Regardless of what a sex-repulsed individual might write, make sure to ask for their permission first before exposing them to that kind of content and always give trigger warnings. Also, keep in mind this is coming from one sex-repulsed person, and our experiences may ultimately differ.

[cornmuffinzz-deactivated2023111]

THANK YOU.

[therainbowpencils]

Glad it could help!

[leliana-sings-mozarts-requiem]

Hey lovely people, so usually I don’t do this but this hit home a little bit being queer and a teacher.

So The Little Queer Library in Waltham, MA, was recently robbed of several queer-related titles and is in need of replacements. They’ve recently been hit hard by the newest wave of book banning in the US. They’ve put together an Amazon wishlist of the books they need. If you’re able to help, please send them to 1042R Trapelo Road, Waltham, MA, 02451, United States of America.

I’m also going to tag a few blogs who talk about queer issues to help get the word out:

@nothorses @one-time-i-dreamt @prideknights @letters-to-lgbt-kids

[shydreamyechoes-deactivated2023]

Ok so I was considering if Veronica is on the aro spectrum. But it's tough because she's like that because of her trauma and I didn't want to do bad representation. Like "You're aro because of bad things happening to you" is definitely not the message I want to send. I'm not going to say she's explicitly demi romantic, it's her business, not mine, I've decided.

Also I'm an ace bc of trauma so I sort of understand how that can happen but I wanted to check with aros first ya know.

In writing (and as a "trauma baby" myself...yes that is what I call people including myself with trauma, idk why lol) I usually do not associate a character's trauma with their sexual or romantic orientation. This is why Bradi is sex-repulsed, but also identified as bisexual. Meanwhile, both Quince and Bradi are demi separate from their trauma.

This has nothing to do with how you identify, btw, and do whatever the Hell makes you comfortable. It is just, in writing, you can sometimes accidentally paint a sexual or romantic orientation as something it is not by then putting a character under that label who only temporarily fits there or simply "acts the part" instead of truly fitting it. Like, if I said Bradi was asexual, I'd be accidentally sending the message that asexuals are just people scared of sex that need to adjust, which then puts pressure on uninterested asexuals to actually be interested and spreads false information.

I wouldn't identify her as demiromantic if she is "slow to romance" because of her trauma, and it's not that people with trauma can not identify as such, but that is just not what demiromantic means. Someone who is demiromantic can not feel any romantic feelings until they feel they have a deep connection, period. It is not a fear reaction, it's not us trying to be careful (these are all huge stereotypes that cause people to say demiromantics and demisexuals are not valid), that is just how we feel romantic attraction. Feeling the need to be slow with romance or ignoring romantic feelings due to trauma is different from that, and I think you can express that without using the demi label. That being said, seeing how her and Shadow are and how long it appears to take for her to catch feelings, she could very well be demiromantic, but not for trauma-related reasons.

That's just my two cents though, and of course, we all have different opinions in the community because we are different people. How other people identify, again, is none of my business, so please take this as purely a writing thing. But I hope it helps anyway!

PS: If Veronica made it very clear she is identifying this way due to trauma and trying to explain how she responds to romance, it could be a different story, but I am not well versed in that enough to know for sure as it is not something I do personally.

[shydreamyechoes-deactivated2023]

Since I remembered this idea and am taking a little break from wip writing, here it goes;

Would any writerblrs be interested in a sort of "rebuilding Hogwarts" type project? I personally think Harry Potter, or more the world of Harry Potter as an idea is a really fun one. Obviously, though, that has been tainted with the author's blatant transphobia and treatment of other minorities. Anything official involving Hogwarts will pretty much always give her royalties. I think it'd be great if the LGBTQ+, POC, and other groups were able to "take Hogwarts back" in a sense. That is to say, make something like Hogwarts but better that is minority friendly.

Not only do I think this would be a fun little writing project for everyone, but I also think with it being a community project, said "New Hogwarts" would be a great roleplaying ground for writers to show off or simply write their favorite characters in a low-stress environment.

Sorry, I rambled, but if anyone is interested just let me know!

[therainbowpencils]

This is a really cool idea and something that world really needs! It has so much potential, but really suffers from it’s author. There’s so many ways it can grow and be improved upon!

[fish-to-male]

one day some of you will actually go outside and go to pride and you’re going to meet old black queens who refers to themselves as femme, you’ll meet people from small towns who still use the word transsexual, you’ll see that your local activist organization set up a stall about your local LGBT history that includes leather bar’s history, you’ll see lesbians in groups refer to themselves as “guys” and “boys”, you’ll see someone with breasts and pasties and little else have “he / him” painted on his chest, and you’ll be so caught up with your terminally online attitude that instead of appreciating the wide diversity of people who exist in the LGBT community who are brave enough to share themselves you’ll just be formulating posts and tweets in your head for when get home about how “problematic” it all was and it’s honestly tragic

[saturnialsapphic]

Once, back when I worked in an LGBTQIA dungeon, I encountered a significantly older person who remarked to me that they hadn’t been to “this type of place” in decades. They struck up a conversation with me and told me how amazing it was to see an openly transexual youth such as myself. I asked them about their experiences with gender and they said “oh, well, I’m a bit male and a bit female. Men’s and women’s clothes, sometimes makeup in a suit, sometime fresh faced in a dress when I’m at home. You know, bisexual” Obv this puzzled me at first until I realized this person was using bisexual in a very, very, literal and old fashioned sense, as in, dual-sexed. Non-binary.

Y’all gotta understand there are generation gaps in the language we use and you open yourself up to a LOT of very interesting stories if you stop blocking off the past.

[ittybittytatertot]

One of the biggest problems with modern community is the idea that (white) western, post 2000s LGBT vocabulary is the only correct way to speak about sexuality and gender.

Like the freak outs under pictures of protests from the 70s-90s because signs and shirts say faggot and dyke and queer, as if these words weren’t a key part of identity and activism.

Beyond just English, I saw a couple people making fun of the term “gender x” in an anime…but why would a Japanese production adhere to English standards?

Or the way people talk about pronouns as if every language uses pronouns the same way as English.

It’s just…it indicates a mindset that these words are objective and written in stone and western youth culture is always the most correct in a way that…feels icky. Diversity in people includes diversity of language.

[therainbowpencils]

Anti-LGBTQ+ Claims Versus Modal Action Pattern

I was reading one of my psych books when I found something Interesting that might be of note for realistic worldbuilding in regards to population, biology, psychology, evolution, and perhaps more that I’m forgetting. Or you can use it for what I use it for, which is proving the claims of LGBTQ+ critics wrong!

TLDR: humans lack the survival mechanism that would cause specific universal mating behavior, which counters the argument that only heterosexuality is natural.

Common arguments against the LGBTQ+ involve claims that it is unnatural. These claims usually state that everyone should be naturally drawn to heterosexual relationships for the sake of reproduction, under the belief that reproduction is the only means to contributing to the survival of the species. Similarly, I’ve also heard this argument be used for claiming nuclear families are the only natural and effective families and that we should be drawn to that or something is unnatural about us. 

This implies that humans have a universal mating behavior that helps with our species survival. Such mating behavior would fall under the psychological survival mechanism known as Modal Action Patterns. Modal Action Patterns are a sort of complex, automatic, thoughtless response to the environment that organisms universally share in their species in order to survive. It involves things like bird migration, bear hibernation, and mating behavior. 

Here’s the interesting part though. Humans don’t have Modal Action Patterns. We’re so complex and diverse that we don’t need this survival mechanism as many of us have our own ways of surviving our various environments and we do so, just fine. This completely contradicts the claims that the LGBTQ+ is unnatural as we don’t have a universal attraction or family formation, nor do we need one. There’s plenty of people that can form relationships that make reproduction possible and for those that don’t, they can always adopt or take on other roles that support the survival of the species. Not everyone even needs sexual or romantic attraction, which works too! 

If anything, forcing a mating behavior on humanity is what’s actually unnatural!

So, you can use that as a counter argument or perhaps you can use this in your stories somehow! Perhaps it can make for an interesting societal conflict or you can use Modal Action Patterns, or the lack thereof, to play some important role in the survival and behavior of fictional species. Whatever you’d like to write about!

[therainbowpencils]

Sex-repulsion and Writing

This is mostly from my own experience and focuses on those who became sex-repulsed for one reason or another, but I still think it's important to note. Just because a sex-repulsed person may write, "mildly steamy" let's call it, content or pairings now and then does not mean they are comfortable with being exposed to it, nor does it invalidate their sex-repulsed status. Let me explain.

Whether you notice it or not, there are a lot of safeguards one has as a writer;

They know relatively how events will begin and end.

They have full control over what is shown and what is not.

They know the kind of person their character is.

They know what their characters are comfortable with and their mental process during certain events.

One is a safety net because the sex-repulsed individual understands how far or not far an event will go and are in complete control over it. In that sense, writing a steamy scene becomes less intimidating because they are free to stop or continue where they feel comfortable. This is not the case when reading the content of others. They do not know what to expect or how far a scene might go, and that can be extremely intimidating.

Two works in a similar way, focusing on how far or not far something will go. Sex repulsion can be complex to those that have it, and what makes them comfortable or uncomfortable can vary. So having control of the type of content and what is avoided is extremely helpful. Tagging and trigger warnings may help others' content be less intimidating, but ultimately does not change the personalized nature of a sex-repulsed person's own writing.

Three works as a safety net by well...being a safety net for the characters as well. Sex-repulsed individuals can be assured there will be no interactions that give off creepy vibes for them, and that characters will never be exposed to interactions that make them uncomfortable. At the same time, the sex-repulsed individual having control of the characters' comfort levels means they can match theirs and characters can be quite compatible from the get-go.

Finally, number four. Knowing that characters feel absolutely safe and trust each other is a big safety net. Even if a character has anxieties, we understand they are unfounded, and that events are not crossing a line for them. Whether or not this is expressed directly in the writing itself, a writer will ultimately know, and when reading other content that may be stuck to one of the unfamiliar character's POVs, that safety net is erased.

Occasionally dabbling into these topics does not mean it is not frightening or gross to the sex-repulsed individual, rather that, through writing, they can create a safe space to explore this topic. Others are not comfortable with dabbling into it at all, and that is completely valid as well!

Writing is a great way for others to explore concepts that frighten or disturb them in a safe environment, however, we have to remember the power one has as a writer and how that is removed when they become a reader. Regardless of what a sex-repulsed individual might write, make sure to ask for their permission first before exposing them to that kind of content and always give trigger warnings. Also, keep in mind this is coming from one sex-repulsed person, and our experiences may ultimately differ.

[therainbowpencils]

Demiromance: The Misconceptions

There are a few core reasons for why many people paint demiromantic as an invalid LGBTQ+ orientation, all of which are rooted in large misunderstandings. Some examples being "of course you have to know someone to love them, isn't everyone that way?", or "it doesn't describe the gender they love, so it is irrelevant", or even "well, it's just the smart choice", and so on. I'm going to break down these main three since I see them the most often, and why they inherently misunderstand the label of demiromantic. Demisexual is often misunderstood and works the same, so keep that in mind as you read!

"You Have To Know Someone To Love Someone"

Well, of course. To have a romantic attraction to someone, you need to know something about them that you find attractive in that way. This is not the "getting to know someone" that the orientation of demiromantic is referring to. Demiromantic refers to someone who requires a deep emotional bond to have a romantic interest in someone else. A lot of people miss the word "deep" or "strong" when writing this romantic orientation off. Demiromantic is not "I know this person's name/a little bit about them and now I can have a crush on them", it's much more than that. While time frames vary, the importance is the relationship feels strong and deep for that person. For me, it usually takes years to have a crush on someone, but, again, it can vary. Romantic feelings are also not felt before this deep bond is established, which a lot of critics miss as well.

Along with this, people also insist that "well everyone is just slow to romance" even when this is provably false. If you've ever known someone who jumps into relationships constantly or struggles to pick a crush most of the time, easily has crushes, and the "hopeless romantic" types that fall hard and fast, you have perfect examples of why demiromantic exists, what it is not, and why it is helpful to clarify in a world where some are driven by "love at first sight" and "quick relationship" ideals. As a demiromantic, I have had plenty of people have a romantic connection with me when I just didn't feel a deep enough connection at the time to reciprocate, not even on a crush level. I have also had times where I did feel that connection later after turning them down, but they had personally already moved on.

Orientations Need To Describe a Gender of Interest

No, they do not. Once again this is provably false. Asexual refers to someone with no sexual attraction to others, not attraction to a specific gender/genders. Aromantic is the same with romance. The goal of sexual/romantic orientations is not just to say "I am attracted to this gender", the goal is to express how others experience sexual and romantic attraction, whether it is only with certain genders, not at all, rarely, or after circumstances such as "having a deep connection" are met. Demiromantic can also be used on top of another orientation for clarity. This is why I describe myself as a demiromantic biromantic, rather than just using demi. Sex-repulsed is similar, helping describe further how someone may experience their sexual orientation, and these clarifications are completely valid. So, as a way for those that experience this to express themselves, demiromantic is absolutely a valid title and has no reason to focus on the gender of attraction.

It's The Smart Choice

Sure, jumping into relationships before you are ready or properly know the person can cause problems. But demiromantic does not describe when someone decides to have a romantic relationship with another person, it describes when they start feeling romantic attraction. Demiromantics can not feel this romantic connection at all until there is that deep bond. It has nothing to do with morals or cautiousness. Having a romantic attraction to someone and deciding to hold off advancing the relationship is a choice and does not describe being demiromantic, only being able to feel romantic attraction when you feel very close to someone does.

The keyword here is only. Demiromantic is not covering a situation where you suddenly feel close and catch feelings, despite the fact you have had crushes more quickly or easily in other circumstances, it is describing someone who can only have romantic feelings when a strong relationship, in their eyes, has been created. So, let's break it down and be very clear;

There is a difference between needing a deep connection to feel any romantic attraction and simply wanting one.

There is a difference between having a crush but deciding to take things slow, and involuntarily taking things slow because that is the only way you can have even a crush, to begin with.

When demiromantics say "deep connection" they are not referring to something poetically romantic or a romantic desire, they are talking about a romantic necessity. Do not write off demiromantics just because you still feel early attraction and decide to hold off on relationships, want a "deep connection" because, even though you can have crushes without one, you find the idea romantic/important, or think what the romantic orientation causes us to often do is "smart". That does not describe the demiromantic experience at all, that is a choice you personally made, a desire you have, and your personal view on the orientation, not the orientation itself.

Many of us feel there is something wrong with us for not experiencing attraction as quickly or soon as others do, so viewing it as "people just wanting to show off they usually make smart decisions" is extremely tone death. That is the equivalent of saying "panromantic is just people that want to show off they can attract anyone", because it replaces "attracted to all genders" with "wanting to attract all genders". This implies said sexuality only has this desire rather than it being an unchosen attraction. In a demiromantic context, people usually change "needing a deep relationship" to "wanting to need a deep relationship". It is based on assumptions or desires of those outside of the orientations and not the orientation themselves, so be careful with framing/being aware of your own framing.

Conclusion

There are many misconceptions about being demiromantic. Before you write off the orientation with quick and fast assumptions, make sure you understand what is really being said in these orientations descriptions, and what the purpose of sexual and romantic orientations really are. It is important to, again, realize that demisexuality works much the same way, just for sexual attraction. In writing demiromantics or demisexuals, make sure to respect the need and not the want for a deep connection before letting them have crushes/sexual interest. Most importantly, realize, if you are not demiromantic/demisexual, how you may actually have "faster romantic/sexual experiences" than those who are demi, accounting for crushes/romantic/sexual interest (such as wanting to go on a date/sleep with someone who appears romantically/sexually intriguing to you, whether or not you actually do), and not just purely romantic relationships/sexual encounters. Many people who criticize being demi write over these, not realizing the true difference between them and someone who is demi.

Note: This post is for educating others on what it is like to be demiromantic and a safe place for those who are demiromantic/demisexual. It is not a post for debate, though questions are allowed, and demiphobes will quickly be blocked. If you are demiromantic/demisexual and want to share your own experiences, feel free! I would also be happy to offer clarifications or details if I have missed out on some of the demiromantic/demisexual experience, since others can experience it in different ways than I do!