Hey, I'm Sam

If you want more info, come back with a fuckin warrant. 

[ink-the-artist]

Girls when their periods sync

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[anais-ninja-bitch]

unrestrained summer fun

[rexuality]

hikes are very good yes but a deluxe hike is when you are accompanied by a freak with niche nature knowledge. they’re like omg stop there’s a horned valerian varmint beetle here and then you both get to crouch down and look at a bug like :)

[saltwaterandstars]

For my birthday my best friend got me a set of glasses that, when you stack them, look like a fish! Genius!

[sceptixfakemon]

taste my steel you stupid citrus

[penworthy]

Lately everything that happens feels like it was engineered in a lab to drive us all insane

[tanoraqui]

I do think the right way to think about the Mirror of Galadriel is that it‘s the equivalent of an entirely home-built computer tower, with chips that are only barely legal for civilians to buy and wires that look like a rat’s nest but are actually hyperoptimized for efficiency, and a homemade OS in a coding language she invented, and cybersecurity that would make the CIA cry, and also some judiciously applied superglue and/or gorilla tape, made in their home office by someone who helped invent the internet at DARPA in the 60s.

And that a Palantir is, comparatively, a MacBook Air.

[wizardarchetypes]

every time a stranger asks me why i'm in a mask i spin a wheel where the only two options are "be a good disability advocate. answer them kindly, broaden their horizons so the next person in a mask they encounter doesn't have to explain" and "tell them that if i answer them, i get to ask them one random medical question about their body too."

[lowpawly]

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

[lowpawly]

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[mysteriouseggsbenedict]

I love Matilda because it's a story about a child who sees injustice around her and gets mad about it and questions why things aren't fair, and instead of the ending being that she learns how the world works and that life isn't fair, she catapults one of the adults who abused her out of a building with her mind

[vulcartist]

I translated the Ea-Nasir complaint into vulcan and engraved it in on a cooper plate

[tournevis-real]

The tumblrest sentence I have ever seen

[notaplaceofhonour]

a ring camera is like if a mezuzah was evil

[notaplaceofhonour]

hear o neighborhood you are being surveilled

[moveslikekeithrichards]

trying to calculate which part of your godforsaken body you should aim to preserve while choosing a sleeping position on any given night

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I identify with almonds. so relatable.

[lizard-of-choice-deactivated202]

Being milked for something you did not evolve for?

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is the worst possible response, thank you for your service monarch

[warriorchats]

We're Taylor, Melanie, and Margot, three Millennials who didn't read the Warrior Cats books as kids but are reading them now to see how it changes us. We stream on the last Purr-sday of the month over at twitch.tv/RollForFelicity

Please show us your Warrior OCs

[superweirdyfeeling]

Y'all, please show us your OCs 🙏 also I need amv recs, pls and thank you

[statictay]

once again i love how star wars takes place in a massive galaxy with thousands of planets and billions of people, and yet every bounty hunter knows each other personally

[dragonfox-in-a-teacup]

It's called networking babe

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

when Boba Fett adds you on LinkedIn you know you've made it