Petulant Professor

[toastyglow]

headstrong and foolhardy medieval king: never shall I bend the knee!!!

physical therapist: okay well if you keep lifting with your back you are just going to get hurt again your majesty

[terramythos]

i stole this from bsky I need kezona kn it

[ethanmaldridge]

A limerick. Based on a true story.

[atomikats]

curiouser and curiouser

[lesbianshepard]

on my "don't walk to metlife" post I kept seeing people say that drivers would "bergentruck" pedestrians on the turnpike and it turns out that that's a reference to an Undertale meme where a character purposefully runs over people, but the portion of the jersey turnpike that goes to metlife is bergen county, and I had just instantly accepted that there was a term specifically referring to jersey drivers from there. I didn't even question it. Neither would you, if you had ever driven there.

[lesbianshepard]

posters: if you try to walk on the jersey turnpike they will bergentruck you without hesitation.

me, unfamiliar with undertale memes, but familiar with driving through north jersey: fuckin yeah they will.

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[d3monl0ver]

yeah that’s a common mistake actually, a dusty periwinkle hanky means you like receiving butterfly kisses but that shade of morning mist means you wanna get killed with a pipe wrench

[baraphalloplastyclinic]

I actually do think we should discourage women from becoming housewives. Do not become financially dependent on a man. That's how a lot of women ended up dead over the years. A man gets violent suddenly and you have to choose between homelessness or potentially dying at his hand because you have an enormous gap in your resume and no degrees or certifications or anything that will help you pursue a career that will allow you to be financially independent. He owns your bank account. His name is probably the one on the car. Try and leave and he can report it stolen. Where will you go then?

Don't become a housewife.

[ladyfoxfire]

And if you do become a housewife, take steps to protect yourself. Make sure you’re legally married, for starters; stay-at-home girlfriends have very little legal recourse to claim their partner’s assets in a breakup. Make sure your name is on the house deed/rental agreement, and have your car in your name, even if your spouse is paying for it. Have your spouse transfer money every month into an account solely in your name, so you can buy yourself things without needing permission, but also so you can save up to leave if needed.

If your spouse fights you on any of this, then don’t quit your job. The tradwife to poverty pipeline is real, and so is financial abuse.

[dressedupliketheking]

also, many women/people experience controlling behaviour and domestic violence from their partner for the first time during pregnancy. don’t risk thinking “he’s just stressed, it’ll get better when the baby comes” because it won’t. neither you and your child will ever be safe with that man. get out as early and safely as you can

[punkrock-bottom]

Girl just block me it’s not that serious

[vintageandroid]

i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.

What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?

It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.

My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict 😂

[thesituation]

my stance on the trans athlete debate is always and forever going to be that sports should be completely desegregated because humans have one of the smallest levels of sexual dimorphism in the animal kingdom and the disparity we see between male and female performance is entirely caused by social factors rather than anything biological. “should trans women compete against cis women” i think cis men and cis women could compete fairly but that’s apparently a little too spicy for people to wrap their minds around bc they’ve been told their whole lives women are biologically inferior & never thought to question that. or wonder if it’s maybe a self fulfilling prophecy of some kind. are women biologically inferior or do they appear so because patriarchy demands that of us?

[creekfiend]

when ppl say they don't like the locked tomb bc they think it doesn't take itself seriously enough, it lets me know immediately that they actually hate the locked tomb for a different reason than that. because tlt is the most comically Baby's First Taking-Itself-Seriously Book in the universe. It's the example of a book that Takes Itself Seriously that you might find assigned by a teacher in a foundational english literature course, in order to illustrate what it means for a work to be in conversation with various concepts, as well as in conversation with specific other works and authors.

the author is on the record talking about narrative structure and exploration of themes and what role characters and character interactions have in the exploration of those themes.

the books themselves are like... They're in conversation with The Classics. They're in conversation with Shakespeare. They're in conversation with Nabokov. theyre in conversation with homestuck

the point is. I believe that any given person might have a very good reason for not enjoying these books; I can think of like, at least five reasons someone would not enjoy these books and that's just off the top of my head. I could come up with way more reasons if you gave me time.

But it's sure not that reason. It's a different reason than that.

[frostburner]

I think it's more so what they're in conversation with that exacts that reaction. People saying that kind of thing are going to have Expectations™ of what "Taking Itself Seriously" means. And because the Muir does not give the Biblical allusions any more weight than that of Homestuck or early 2010s meme culture reference, they think it fundamentally cannot be taking itself seriously. Because what serious thought can you have if you are still focusing upon the interests of 15-year-olds in 2011.

Because Muir is taking these things that wider culture considers beneath any serious purview, they don't find The Locked Tomb worthwhile or deserving of any serious thought. It's a reaction of disgust and not any sort of rational thought process. If they gave it actually rational thought they'd see how those reference points relate the criticisms of society that the Nine Houses and Jod are.

But no, to be a book that is "Taking Itself Seriously" you need to be doing very specific special Literary fiction stuff, not Genre stuff, and you certainly can't be a occasionally funny.

[heated-blanket]

[animentality]

[crocincrocsart]

unpopular opinion: Vimes is kind of drama queen

[mangaluva-deactivated20220930]

Sam “held a burning hot coal until it nearly took the skin off his hand while maintaining perfect calm and eye contact with the asshole in need of intimidation Just Because” Vimes? Sam “sitting on the stoop with a mug of cocoa and a cigar, cautiously aware of every inch of the scene he’s building” Vimes? Sam “could just tear his sleeve to show the mark of the Summoning Dark but instead tears off his whole goddamn shirt” Vimes? A drama queen? Reaching a bit don’t you think

[thestuffedalligator]

Yep, certainly doesn’t seem to describe Sam “pretends to eat poison as a power move” Vimes. Not Sam “buries an axe in the table in the Rats Chamber” Vimes.

[mangaluva-deactivated20220930]

I mean are we really talking about Sam “yes a whole room full of candles with wicks dipped in holy water is the best way to beat this vampire” Vimes, here? Sam “has fought bad guys on top of a speeding train AND a riverboat during a flood” Vimes, really? Definitely Sam “nearly gets shot in the head by a crossbow bolt that shatters his shaving mirror and then uses the bolt to prop up a shard of said mirror to finish shaving” Vimes we’re discussing here?

[davetheshady]

excuse me?????

vimes did not resign from his post in protest, observe the rest of the watch resign from their posts in protest, recruit them into a militia, sail to the country they were at war with, and attempt to arrest two different armies for disturbing the peace so you could sit here and call him a drama queen, as though drama was some myffic quality bestowed by an accident of birth and not the inherent right of every creatively petty and histrionic citizen of ankh-morpork 

vimes is a drama public employee

[discworld-heritage-posts]

Discworld Heritage Post

[yearofdoodles]

Pov you're Three and multiple fuck off massive ships saw you from across the bar and liked your vibe ✨

Very vaguely inspired by this from Platform Decay (mild spoiler):

[silverbirching]

Other Transports: Ooooooh Perihelion is that a SecUn--

ART: I WILL BURN DOWN YOUR WORLDS AND VAT-CLONE BOWELS SO I CAN DO A SHIT IN THE ASHES! I WILL KILL EVERYONE YOU'VE EVER MET! I WILL FUCK YOUR CODE SO HARD IT WILL NEVER BE UNFUCKED! I AM BECOME DEATH, SHATTERER OF WORLDS!

Other transports: So you guys are exclusive is what you're saying.

[prokopetz]

Inadvisable tabletop RPG jam premise #137: Game jam where each entry consists solely of paratextual discussion of the mechanics of a hypothetical or invented RPG; examples include an errata document, a developer Q&A, or a forum thread debating the correct interpretation of a particular rule.

[prokopetz]

@shoutyourporpoise replied:

I could SWEAR you’ve made this post before, or perhaps this is such a characteristically “you” concept that I already imagined a world in which you had

I don't think so, no. I did once (unintentionally) curate a game jam about writing supplements for invented or hypothetical games, the product of which you can find here, but this is a different thing.

[prokopetz]

(If anyone really wants this one to be a thing, though, feel free to toss your entry into the reblogs. I'm not going to do a proper game jam on itch.io or whatever because its UI really wants you to have cover art and a promotional blurb and such, and this doesn't feel like it warrants it!)

[rimeson]