@thesearethingsthatmakemesmile - Tumblr Blog

so when Spider-man crawls up and down walls like a bug people praise him and call him a superhero, but when I, Count Dracula,

mitskilesbians

this is basically what coming out is

thegaymertrainer

Not lesbians this time but equally funny…

reneethecyborg

Parent: “Just to make sure I didn’t– I didn’t mishear what you said, what did you say I look like?”

Child: “A douche in that hat.”

Parent: [holding back laughter] “I– you said I look like a douche in this hat?”

Child: “Uh-huh.”

Parent: “A– a douche? You’re saying a douche?”

Child: “Yep.”

Parent: “Adley, what is a douche? What is– what are you talking about?”

Child: “It’s kind of– it’s– it’s kinda like a– a king, or something. He’s a king.”

Parent: “Like a king?”

Child: “Uh-huh.”

Parent: “You’re saying a king? A douche is like a king?”

Child: “Uh-huh.”

[long, bewildered silence]

Parent: “Do you mean a duke?”

Child: “Yep!”

Parent: “Okay. Thank you so much for the compliment, sweetie, um– but it is a duke. Look– look– look– look at me. A duke. Not a douche. Alright?”

Child: “A douche?”

Parent: [laughing] “No, no, not a douche. A duke!”

filmgifs

SPIRITED AWAY (2001) dir. Hayao Miyazaki

ndiecity-deactivated20241101

This detergent says "10% more loads" but I've been drinking it and I haven't been cumming any harder so what gives

chubbyangel666

ghislainemaxwell

tiktaalic

Did you know? On average, Tesla owners are involved in collisions 18% more frequently than any other car. Research has shown this is because when I see that stupid fucking logo i floor it.

toastbutteregg

just laying facts here

sleepnoises

okay you know that scan/photo of a teen girl’s diary entry that goes like “wore yellow dress today. chris keeps trying to talk to me even though he KNOWS i’m not interested! ugh! man landed on moon.” anyway that’s the mood

skinhorses

sleepnoises

THIS person is valid, as is their grandmother

ms-demeanor

Things like this are specifically why I’ve started keeping a paper journal this year.

“100th day of protests in Portland, we’re approaching 200k coronavirus deaths, things are very strange and the west is on fire. Tried my banana bread recipe with olive oil and less sugar, thought it was quite tasty but will stick with butter in the future.”

“Dad says he’s settling into the new house fine, the dogs are happy to have a nice yard. The president keeps saying he’s not going to commit to a peaceful exchange of power. But there’s evidence of possible life on Venus, which is nice.”

maryolive

Frank Kafka’s Journals: August 2nd, 1914 - “Germany has declared war on Russia. Swimming in the afternoon.”

meme4u

femalegothic

liberalsarecool

We need to rethink the walking city.

anarchblr

drememoto

sometimes you look at someone’s art and you know EXACTLY what’s going on and you’re like

drememoto

(I would like to emphasize the “non-judgemental” portion of the caption)

bamsara

new ask game: tell me what your ‘non-judgemental but still very aware’ thing is about my art

lakemojave

You have no idea how much I want this mass migration to tumblr to be real. I would love it if there was an entire ecosystem on tumblr of tiktokers who don't know or don't want to reblog anything, so they are functionally incapable of interacting with the rest of this website. Nothing is funnier to me

cryptvokeeper

"I understand. You found paradise on TikTok. You had a good fyp, you made good content. The censors protected you and they were friendly for advertisers. So you didn't need a friend like me. Now you come and say "Tumblr, give me content." But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer reblogs. You don't even think to call me "Hellsite." You come into my house on the day my blorbo is to be married and you ask me to do content - for likes."