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Sweet Seals For You, Always
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Today's Document

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@thesecretsplendorsofadventure
I'm sorry but I have one draft that I never finished but I laugh every time I see it
Writing Tip
Neither do i
Unreliable everyone
When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.
Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.
Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.
I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny
Apollo 17 vs Artemis II
Despite everything, it's still you.
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Also prev tags:
That's really cool actually
#excuse me but are you telling me that the Apollo pic is made with the help of the SUN and the Artemis one with the help of the MOON??? #that's actually so poetic i want to cry
@gorandomshesaid wait i need to sit with this one. wait.
Funny when someone introduces you to something, you get really into it, and then they lose all interest in it. Oh so you’re just going to abandon me at the party you invited me to. Dude you were my ride.
captchas are getting way too hard man I can't do this
Me, tears streaming down my face, sobbing, as I stare at the stars: it’s just so beautiful
The medieval peasant I went back in time to give a bag of Doritos to, concerned: what terrible and powerful sorcerers they must have in your age, to be able to veil the vault of heaven itself from view, as you say
Me, sniffling: I didn’t realize, I can’t, it’s so much, I, I… are the chips good, at least?
Medieval peasant, trying to make me feel better: they’re… magical, strange traveler
oh ok
god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies
I'm just saying, if you're going to worldbuild magic being a "raw, primal force, akin to and interweaving with nature itself" you gotta explain to me why animals don't use it
I know the normal answer is "they just aren't smart enough for it" but idk I've seen enough media where a character uses a spell in a moment of brain-off panic ilI feel like animals could probably stumble into a spell or two like, accidentally
Also how funny would it be to see a completely normal regular bear cast magic missile outta nowhere
Also there is no way ravens wouldn't figure out spells, tbh
They're smart fuckin birds, I believe in them
Either through observing or just figuring shit out ravens could 100% learn how to cast spells I'm sure of it
Dogs can also cast Magic Missile but every time they do the projectile is shaped like a bone or a stick and they chase after it
group of wizards who ask this in-universe, and after extensive study learn to their surprise that animals are casting spells all the time, just that their magic is so fundamental as to be unrecognizable to humans. turns out the only reason acorns grow on trees is because squirrels keep wishing for them.
did i tell you guys i failed at being sexually harassed at work today?
okay so, guy at work, who i find out afterwards is famous at this place for being a sex pest, comes up and starts with what i also learn is his favorite opener to conversations where he’s going to be a sex pest, namely: “Do you know where the term ‘blow job’ comes from?”
and here he made his first fatal error. his moment of hubristic sex pesting. because of course i know where the term blow job comes from, i love learning about sex and the history of sexual terms! i know so much about oral sex that i could write a book on it!
🫵 HEROES in the tags
rummaged through old folders and found some stuff I never posted 👀
if you put the new harry potter show on my dash in any way it's gonna be an automatic unfollow from me, guys. like. it's 2026. come the fuck on
One of my favorite family tropes is the one where the ruthless, cruel and bloodthirsty warmonger non-human man meets an independent, intelligent and shrewd girl and decides to adopt her and becomes her grumpy, caring and overprotective dad-figure.
Meme @the-crazy-echidna-lady made for me upon request