āDave!ā
āFuck. Off.ā
āDavey, wait, jusā let meāā
āI donāt wanna hear it.ā
āI can explaināā
Davey finally whirls around, his eyes blazing.
āWhich part of fuck off,ā he enunciates clearly, in a voice like a knifeās edge, āwas too difficult for you to understand?ā
Jack swallows hard, faltering back a step.
āItās not whatācha think,ā he begs. āI swear itās not whatāchaāā
āAnd what the fuck would you know about what I think?ā Davey asks with a derisive scoff. āIāll tell you what I think: I think youāre a coward and a traitor and I canāt believe I was stupid enough to trust you when you were lying to me from the moment we met. Tell me, Jack,ā he says, his eyes glittering like shattered glass. āWere you playing both sides from the start? Or was Pulitzerās offer just too good to refuse?ā
āI aināt like that,ā Jack pleads. āI didnāt want to, Dave, but I didnāt have a choice.ā
āDonāt give me that shit,ā Davey says sharply. āYou always have a choice.ā
āYou donāt always have a good one,ā Jack says grimly. āAnā a bad choice aināt no choice at all.ā
Daveyās eyes narrow.
āā¦You get two minutes,ā he says finally. āTalk fast.ā
āI went to talkāta Pulitzer, jusā like I said,ā Jack says. āBut he was expectinā me. He started making all these threats about roundinā everyone up anā tossinā āem in the refuge like they did Crutchie andā And he said heād back off, but only if I called off the strike and got the rest of ya to fall in lineāā
āAnd you believed him?ā Davey asks, incredulous. āJack, we were in his sights from the very beginning, he was never actually going to leave us aloneāā
āI know that now!ā Jack exclaims. āBut I thought⦠I had to try. I had to at least try.ā
āThatās not your call to make,ā Davey says.
āIsnāt it, though?ā Jack asks pointedly. āIām the leader. Iām the one callinā the shots. And when somethinā goes wrong, Iām the one āta blame. After what happened to Crutchieāā
Jack has to stop for a moment, the thought of what happenedāwhatās happeningāto Crutchie almost too much to bear.
āWhat happened to Crutchie couldāve happened to any of us,ā Jack shakily continues, once he thinks his voice wonāt crumble to pieces. āThey werenāt targetinā anyone in particular, they couldāve nabbed any of us. So, maybe thatās on me, maybe it aināt. Maybe Crutch would even tell me it was worth it. But this timeā¦ā
Jack scrubs a hand over his face. āPulitzerās closing in, Dave, heās circlinā us like a fuckinā vulture, makinā threatsāā
āWe knew what we were getting into, we agreed that it was worth the riskāā Davey interrupts with that same righteous fury.
āNo, Dave,ā Jack interrupts, and Davey must read something in his expression because he actually stops arguing, his brow furrowed. āNot jusā we. You. He looked at me, looked me right in the eye, and said your name. He knew your fuckinā name,ā Jack spits out, āanā said itād be such a shame if you ended up in the refuge because I didnāt know whenāta quit a lost ācause. Said it would be my fault.ā
Jack stares at his handsāhelpless, useless, idiotic, defeated. Then he rolls his shoulders back, and meets Daveyās gaze head on.
āI canāt let that happen,ā he says solemnly. āI canāt be the one that ruins your life. Anā Iām sorry how it all went down, Dave, really, I am. But Iām not sorry for doinā what little I can to try anā protect you.ā
Daveyās face has gone pale, his mouth pressed in a thin, harsh line.
āPulitzer threatened me,ā he says, his voice strange. āAnd you caved.ā
Jack lets out a heavy breath, low and exhausted. āYeah.ā
āMe.ā
āYes, David. You.ā
Davey stares at him. āYouāve known me for three days,ā he says, like this is supposed to mean something to him.
Jack throws his hands up in exasperation. āSo?ā
And Davey starts laughing.
It bubbles out of him, loud and a little hysterical, and he hunches over with the strength of it, clutching his stomach. He laughs and laughs, then laughs some more, tears prickling at the corner of his eyes.
Then suddenly heās crying, pressing his palms to his eyes as if to physically halt the flow, his shoulders shaking, his lip quivering.
Jackās heart fractures in his chest.
āDave,ā he says softly, stepping forward. āDavey, Iāmā Iām sorryāā
Daveyās head whips up, and his eyes are wild, enraged, behind the tears. He grabs Jack by the collar of his shirt, hard enough to drag him off his feet a little, and starts forcing him backwards, step by furious step.
Jackās back hits the brick of the alley behind him, and heās certain that Daveyās gonna haul his arm back and clock him one good.
Instead, he kisses him.
Itās frenzied and frantic, teeth and noses bumping as they clash together. Daveyās hands cradle his jaw, holding him, no, pinning him in place as he ravages his mouth, a force of nature trapped beneath soft skin, breakable bones, and big blue eyes.
Itās overwhelming, itās dizzying, and Jack can do nothing except give into it, give into him. He fumbles for purchase, cupping a hand around the back of Daveyās head and dragging him closer, kissing back just as desperately, caught in the storm.
But eventually, things start to slow, gentling into something softer, steadier. Theyāre both panting hard, chasing after each othersā mouths for a few final kisses, chests heaving in tandem.
Daveyās hands find his wrists, pushing him back but not away, and their hands tangle together, their foreheads just barely touching.
āThis is bigger than us, Jackie,ā Davey says quietly, and Jack sags against him, the first beginnings of hope blooming fresh in his chest. āItās bigger than any one of us. You canāt sacrifice everything weāve worked for, not for me. I wonāt let you.ā
āDave,ā Jack whispers. āIām sorry.ā
āI know you are,ā Davey murmurs. āI get it. Iām still absolutely pissed at you for the way you went about it, but I get it.ā
āThe others,ā he starts hesitantly. āDo you think⦠Will they forgive me?ā
Daveyās hand curls around his hip, steady and grounding.
āYeah,ā he breathes. āYeah, I think they will. They love you too much not to. But youāre gonna have to grovel.ā
The smallest of smiles pulls at Jackās mouth, refusing to be stifled.
āFair enough,ā he concedes.
āWe can do this,ā Davey tells him, and itās hard not to believe him when he gets that glint in his eyes, steely determination shaping every syllable. āBut we have to do it together.ā
āOkay,ā Jack agrees. āTogether.ā
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