my body, tearfully: when sleep???
me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity
my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????
me: okay, finally now is sleep
my body: no. wrong.
Not today Justin

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my body, tearfully: when sleep???
me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity
my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????
me: okay, finally now is sleep
my body: no. wrong.
Mighty nein shitpost 138/?
Mighty nein shitpost 133/?
"I'm still kicking" is such a funny way to say "I'm still alive". Like lol. I'm still thrashing. Flailing. Writhing even. The violence remains.
“Maybe you and I are both damned”
“But.. we can choose to do something”
“And leave it better then it was before..”
—- this moment it always my favorite—
me reading straight up pornography: hmm… this one just doesn’t have enough accurate character psychoanalysis to get me off
These two have been on my mind lately
like the betrayal’s always going to be worse if they cared about you and it didn’t matter. someone discards you because they didn’t give a shit, then you can be angry about that, you can feel vindicated in that, you can get over it. but if they can look you in the eyes and say “I love you. I would make the same choice again.” You will never sleep peacefully again, is all.
“I thought they cared about me, but they were lying this whole time.” <- tired. boring. removes all the nuance of this relationship to make it easier to move on from.
“I thought they cared about me, and I was right, and every minute they were there for me, every time they said they were proud, every laugh we shared leaning against each other bruised and breathless, all of it was real. and they still left me behind. They could put their love aside. I couldn’t.” <- insane. will never leave you alone. reminds you that even the worst people are still people and can still care about even the ones they hurt the most and that undoes neither the harm nor the love.
okay. something about the way i worded this is making people think this is a vent thing about real relationships. and it’s fine if that’s where it took you. but i feel like i need to be transparent here: this be blorboposting. karlach cliffgate and her terrible awful no good very bad betrayal.
they are seasoning my fucking post with unknown herbs. beefleaf. the fuck’s a beefleaf. why are you putting that in the stew.
“BUT THAT’S NOT THEM!!!!”
HOW can you say that?!?!?! HOW can you sit there and watch Asa say “scrumptious” and “tickety-boo,” bring out the hot cocoa, and then watch Anthony absolutely GEEK OUT over the universe and point out the NIGHTINGALE while they hold hands under the night sky — and then look me dead in the eyes and tell me that’s not them?!?!?!
Like I’m sorry but that is literally their ESSENCE reincarnated into human form. Same souls. Same love. Same ridiculous little mannerisms. They found each other AGAIN. What more do you WANT FROM ME!!!!!!!!
Gobsmacked whenever people say it’s just some random people with their faces. Every single things said it’s them.
As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.
This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.
I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.
I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!
And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??
If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.
Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.
So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.
And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.
"Potential" is such a manipulative word, in that it implies that if you weren't failing to maintain your personal responsibilities to society, you would not only be good, you would be great, you would be a success.
It shows that we are conditioned from a young age to believe that if we don't do what is expected of us, that it is a personal failing, regardless of if those expectations are actually achievable without inflicting harm upon ourselves.
Our mental health is in shreds because we're expected to live on a knife-edge of endless growing goals and painful failure, and we're supposed to get through it all as individuals.
Holy shit this is some galaxy brain revelation here
Oh my god my whole brain just exploded and reformed at 10:30 on this Wednesday morning.
I love having a beautiful interaction with a stranger and being like yeah I may be forever changed bc of this one simple and sweet moment
Dangers of working on a set.
That’s what I said.
Okay but you forgot the best part! During the scene where Aragorn, Gandalf and the other Main CharaktersTM ride ahead to go shout at the gate (and talk to the mouth of sauron in the extended edition) they were very firmly told only to ride up ahead “this far” because that area was cleared and beyond that it wasn’t.
But. Viggo Mortensen is absolutely mad and lead them just…. a bit farther than that. Everyone else was very scared they might blow up any second. Viggo said it “added a little extra tension”.
#they just don’t make behind the scenes stories like lotr anymore
Viggo was just Like That™ for the whole trilogy, taking method acting to extreme levels:
he would spend multiple days walking overland to locations in full pack, sword, & armour when everyone else was travelling in trucks
refused to use any prop swords that weren’t actual steel
basically lived in the forest in-costume, sleeping rough under the sky, even fishing & foraging for his food when possible
often spent hours in the barn just bonding with the horses. He adopted the horse he rode, Uranus, after filming ended
repaired all his own gear by hand, which was often since he never took it off
had a tooth knocked out during filming but had the crew simply glue it back in place so they could keep filming
the instructor who taught everyone swordplay said Viggo was the best swordsman he had ever trained
carried his sword literally everywhere & practiced non-stop, resulting in the cops being called when locals reported “a wild man swinging a sword around his head" outside a gym in Wellington
an orc actor fucked up & accidentally threw a dagger directly into Viggo’s face, but Viggo just deflected it with his sword. They kept that shot
infamously broke 3 toes kicking that helmet but stayed in-character & sold his very real scream as part of the scene. They also kept that shot
Viggo insists on doing his own stunts; in The Two Towers where Aragorn is unconscious & floating down the river, the strong current pulled him underwater for so long that a rescue team had to go in to save him. Viggo survived by grabbing a boulder on the riverbed and pulling himself to the surface
It’s probably more accurate to say that Aragorn played Viggo Mortensen in the off season, so I’m 100% unsurprised to hear he put a whole crowd of fellow actors in genuine mortal peril for a 12% increase in authenticity
oh it's dreamling day!
the universe seems to not want me to let go of the mighty nein just yet?
so. I've binged the entire Critical Role campaign 2, LOVED IT, got obsessed with it, watched the animations, read SO much fanfic, the works.
I'm in a little bit of a lull with reading published books, but I had a gift card left.
So my gf and I go to the bookstore. and forgot to bring said gift card. so gf went home to grab it, while I browsed the shelves
Found Tusk Love (the book we planned to buy with the gift card) and then checked out some other stuff.
There was one book, bright pink back, just inconspicuously on the shelf. not even cover forward, not presented to the customers, not on a table, just on the shelf.
grabbed it. read the back. "haha this kinda reminds me of Essek/Caleb, but I'm probably projecting"
TELL ME WHY, 6 HOURS LATER AND FOURTEEN CHAPTERS IN, i feel a little too much resemblance and decide to read the acknowledgements ONLY FOR THE AUTHOR TO MENTION THAT THIS BOOK IS FULLY BASED ON CALEB/ESSEK???????
THE UNIVERSE. WANTS ME. IN THEIR GRASP.
also this book is awesome, everyone go read it
A NIGHTINGALE | Good Omens 3
SAM REID The Vampire Lestat X Palomo
Meet-cute... love at first sight 🥺 I love them so much. In every universe!