Table For One, Please!

Recipes and cooking tips for the single cook. Cooking for only yourself can be hard when the internet is flooded with recipes that will have your fridge and freezer overflowing with leftovers, so I'm here to make it just a little easier. Most recipes posted here make 1-2 servings.

[symphonyofawesomeness]

[teaboot]

I find a lot of arguably mean things funny, but there’s a special place in my heart for hardcore hipsters who insist they love tea despite having no idea how to brew it and just choking down that hot bitter disaster while insisting it’s God’s gift to man

[teaboot]

My man Tanser over here gulping back scalding mugs of $40/oz organic loose leaf white tea that he steeped for half an hour before his holistic underwater basket weaving course at Lord Wiffleton’s Combination Waffle House And Taco Bell: I dunno I just prefer it over coffee I guess I’m just different

[teaboot]

Okay, I’m getting questions so here’s what’s up.

Y'all are thinking of the water as n ingredient- what you gotta do is think of it like an oven.

Think about baking cookies- you can have all the best ingredients, all the perfect measurements, all the right consistency- but if the oven is too hot or you leave the dough in for the wrong amount of time, you don’t have cookies, you have sludge or charcoal.

With tea, the water is the oven.

White and green teas are delicate and prone to scalding- IE, the cookies burn easy. Put the water to a low boil, with small bubbles- tiny, like pinheads- and pour the water onto your leaves in the teapot to steep for 1-2 minutes- one teaspoon of tea per cup of water. Then strain the tea without squeezing the leaves- squeezing and crushing releases more of the natural tannins, which are healthy for you but taste bitter.

Likewise, the shape of the leaf can alter the taste- whole leaf teas are more expensive and take longer to steep, but have a subtle, pleasant taste that can have a lot of layers to it.

Read which are granular and crushed up are called Fannings- they’re typically cheaper, as they’re the castings that come from whole leaf tea processing, and they steep faster, but they also turn bitter easily and cloud the tea’s color. Fannings usually have a strong, bold flavour compared to whole leaf variations, but lack complexity.

Next are oolong teas- oolong teas come from the same plant as white and green teas, as well as black tea. The difference between the four is the oxidization of the plant- the Tea plant.

Oxidization is the process that causes the leaf to change color- white teas are the least oxidized and black teas are the most oxidized.

An oolong is a tea leaf that isn’t quite oxidized enough to be called a black tea. It usually has a reddish color to it, and can steep any color from amber to deep red. It also has a good but of caffeine in it, and a more bitter taste than green or white tea. I personally enjoy oolongs because the ones sold in my area tend to have a sort of woodsy-fireplace kind of taste.

To prepare an oolong, take one teaspoon of leaf per cup of water, and bring your water to a medium boil- the bubbles should be the size of the tip of your finger, no bigger. Pour the water onto the leaf and steep for 3-5 minutes.

Again, be sure not to squeeze the leaves while straining.

Black tea is the most oxidized leaf, and also contains the highest concentration of caffeine.

Black tea is also sturdy and hard to bruise, so to prepare it, you can bring the water to a full rolling boil and steep it around 4-5 minutes.

Black teas also tastes the most bitter of all the variations I’ve listed, so be aware of that. Depending on how they’re processed, though, they can have a wide range of warm, smoky flavors.

The darker the leaf, the longer it usually needs to steep, and the more bitter it is, but the more caffeine it has.

The smaller the leaf, the cheaper, faster, and stronger the flavor, but also less subtle the taste.

Good green teas are typically bright, vibrant green.

White tea, contrary to the name, produces pale yellowish or greenish tea.

Herbal teas are 1 to 1.5 teaspoons per cup of water, at a rolling boil, and should usually steep at Least 5 minutes.

Again, contrary to the name, Herbal Tea isn’t technically Tea, as it doesn’t actually contain Leaves from the Tea plant- these are called tisanes by detail-oriented nerds like me.

Herbal teas can be made of anything from dried fruits to flowers to vegetables, spices, and garden herbs, and don’t have any caffeine unless intentionally added.

Herbal tea also doesn’t release the tannins that green, oolong, and black do, so it doesn’t typically turn bitter with time.

Do be careful not to steep too long, though, because it can turn too strong and pungent to drink.

Each tea blend is different, and is specifically designed to be prepared a certain way to get the intended taste, so these guidelines will vary from tea to tea, but the important thing is that you find something you genuinely enjoy.

It doesn’t matter if what you like is some fancy expensive matcha or a cheap dollar store chai; as long as you enjoy it, there’s no wrong choice.

To beat the metaphor: Please don’t force yourself to eat burnt cookies!

Enjoy what you put in your food hole

[13faeinapenguinsuit]

Is this a bad time to point out that sometimes it is enjoyable to drink burnt tea because it is has that particularly tanniny bitterness that overwhelms all other flavors?

[teaboot]

Hey my friendo as long as that’s the recipe you crave

[bogleech]

I’ve repeatedly seen British people make fun of American food for apparently always being either “too sweet or too salty” but our cuisine is still pretty mild compared to a lot of other countries, and having repeatedly tried British food, I’m pretty sure the term you’re looking for is “having any flavor at all.”

[durpacerangerrogjro]

Britain invaded over half the world for spices and then decided they didn’t like any of them

[aresmarked]

you’re half-joking but that is legitimately what happened

[thesinglestable]

Sesame Soba Noodles from Blue Apron

[thesinglestable]

Stuffed Peppers from Allrecipes

[thesinglestable]

One Pan Orechiette Pasta from Allrecipes

[nessarolla-in-constant-flux]

Domee’s Mom’s Super Delicious Recipe for Bao!

http://time.com/5312600/pixar-bao-recipe/ 

Here’s the recipe so you can make your own delicious Bao!

[rootbeergoddess]

I’m going to save this because I really want to try baozi

[peachsnout-deactivated20190614]

Grandma poison water SNAPPED

[thesinglestable]

This is excellent information, though what else could we expect from Grandma Poison water. If you’ve always felt that chicken is boring and tasteless, stop using chicken breasts! Chicken thighs are 100x more flavorful, and also much cheaper. I use chicken thighs instead of breasts whenever I can.

(Also GPW can I have your chicken and dumplings recipe???)

[thesinglestable]

Vegetarian Chickpea Sandwich Filling from Allrecipes

[thesinglestable]

Spicy Elote Style Vegetable Tostadas from Blue Apron

[thesinglestable]

French Egg and Bacon Sandwich from All Recipes

[thesinglestable]

Black pepper beef from Blue Apron

[thesinglestable]

Whenever I look online for good options while working out/ eating healthy, it's constantly brown rice, broccoli, and grilled chicken. What else can I make?

Buckle up for a hard-and-fast breakdown on carbs!

I’m no dietitian, but from what I understand about what you should eat before working out, you need lots of carbs– and not just any carbs, but a mix of complex (usually starchy things like bread, rice, and potatoes) and simple carbs (fruits!). It’s pretty easy to achieve this, though! Protein is also necessary. Simple toast with peanut butter and bananas will provide you with a good amount of both. Yogurt and granola, or yogurt based smoothies with oatmeal are another good option– I used to make peanut butter smoothies before going for a climb. Keep in mind that for most workouts, you really don’t need much: one slice of toast or a small, 6-8oz smoothie will generally do you quite well. Save the bigger meals for long hikes!

However, you’ll find that most guides on eating healthy tell you to avoid carbs, and for good reason. Carbs and sugar go hand in hand, and sugar is terrible for you. There’s also the problem of “wheat belly,” which is that pouch of fat on the stomach that the average person can’t get rid of no matter how hard they try– it has to do with how the body processes wheat (wheat beers also contribute to this– and beer bellies!). So it seems that it’s a vicious cycle, right? Eat carbs to work out, work out because you eat carbs?

Kind of. There is such a thing as a “good” carb, though– whole wheat bread vs refined white bread is an obvious example. Nuts have tons of good carbs AND good fats (”Wait, there’s good fat??” I hear some people say. It’s true: the fat that comes from beans, nuts, yogurt, etc, is actually good for you– in fact, it’s necessary for you to be healthy as your body can only take in vitamins A, D, and E through fat! Just be careful with saturated fats). So when you’re eating good carbs and also working out, you can be confident that you’re making good choices for yourself. You just need to be aware of how many “refined” carbs you’re eating, because too many of those cause your blood sugar levels to spike, which then actually triggers the “eat more” signal in your brain when it drops again– even if you don’t actually need to eat.

So, the brown rice and broccoli you mentioned are good carbs. Others include quinoa, sweet potatoes, bananas, oats, legumes, nuts, and seeds. When it comes to protein, people always talk about chicken because it has much less saturated fat than beef or pork. But don’t forget about turkey and fish, or vegetable proteins if you avoid meat altogether! These have the same benefit.

And, as always, everything in moderation. Every meat has its own list of pros and cons. Beef and pork certainly won’t kill you if you eat them a few times a week, just don’t be eating a prime rib every night (well, unless you’re eating one, single, solitary rib. That’s probably okay*). So, finally, here is a list of recipes that avoid the “chicken, rice, and broccoli” diet:

Roasted Vegetable Quinoa Bowls (GF and Vegan)

Lemon Garlic Pork Tenderloin (tenderloin has a relatively low fat content compared to other cuts of pig)

15 under-30-minute salmon recipes from iFoodReal

Shrimp and Vegetable Summer Rolls (easy to make without shrimp for a vegetarian option)

Channel your inner Scarlet Witch with Chicken Paprikash

Beef Tenderloin and Pickled Onions (Again, a less fatty tenderloin, plus beef and pickled onions are so great together. Pickled onions are so easy, too! Just slice up a red onion and add it to a jar with vinegar, a little sugar, and some seasonings and you’ve got an easy topping for your veggie bowls and sandwiches.)

What? Even dessert? You bet! Caramel Pudding

And last of all, please keep in mind that every person is different, and what works for others may not work for you for a variety of reasons. If in doubt about what you can eat, always talk to your doctor. I can’t answer this question in a way that’s perfect for everyone, but if anyone would like recipes good for their specific diet needs, I’m always here to help!

*Don’t quote me on that.

[maxknightley]

for real, though, why do recipes consistently tell you to use less herbs and spices in than you should. fuck your “two cloves of garlic,” fuck your “half teaspoon of cinnamon,” and you can absolutely go to hell with your “dash of black pepper”

[maxknightley]

I’m pretty sure that the only time I’ve ever actually managed to overseason food was when working with balsamic vinegar, which is the most overpowering motherfucker of a sauce known to man

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i appreciate the energy and anger in this post, which is righteous and just

[fiti-vation]

[ernasd]

oh this is a life saver

[gallusrostromegalus]

So these are both “Aw Fuck I’m outta real food” meals BUT ALSO:  if you’re learning how to cook, these are great “baby steps” meals to learn how to cook basics into something enjoyable without “wasting” anything expensive.  Though I maintain that even cooking screw-ups are valuable in terms of lessons learned.

Also they’re great for when you get absorbed in something and you realize your blood sugar is dropping and you need to make something Quick.

[thesinglestable]

Why doesn't my fried rice ever taste as good as it does in the restaurant? It's usually bland and kind of mushy sometimes.

Hi! One of the most important things to remember about fried rice is that you need to start with dry, cooked rice.

“But wait!” you might say. “Aren’t those two mutually exclusive?”

What I mean is, most people will tell you that you have to start with cold rice. But it’s actually not the temperature that makes the difference here, it’s how dry the rice has gotten! Here’s the TL;DR of how I do rice for fried rice, with a more involved version below:

TL;DR version: cook the rice in boiling chicken broth nearly 1:1, with a little extra liquid, for 17-20 minutes. When it’s done, spread it out on a cookie sheet and leave it in the fridge overnight. THEN fry it.

Patience talks too much version:

1. I cook it nearly 1:1 with boiling water, with just a little more water than rice. Like around a quarter of a cup extra for 1 cup of rice, though it’s not an exact science for me.

2. Rice goes into the pot uncooked with some oil and chicken bouillon (or veggie, or beef… whatever you prefer! Also add spices if you want! It technically makes the rice into a pilaf, but it improves the flavor 100000%) over high heat for a couple minutes until the grains start to turn opaque.

3. Then add the water. If you have an electric kettle, it’s SUPER helpful to boil the water before adding it, though adding it cold is just fine. Bring the water to a boil in that case, switch heat to low, and cover! Another good practice, if you have space, is to actually turn a different burner to low and move the pot to that one, instead of using the same burner. That helps keep the rice from burning!

4. Set timer for 17 minutes. If you’re me, you’ll be cooking something else at the same time and forget to actually take it off the burner at 17 minutes, so it’ll end up being more like 20… but that’s actually good for our purposes in this case! A little extra time like that makes the rice more dry but doesn’t overcook it.

5. Now, once the pot is off the burner, leave the lid on for another minute or two. Then use a fork to fluff.

6. Now grab a cookie sheet.

7. Trust me. Cookie sheet. Spread your hot, tasty, steamy rice out over it. Stick it in the fridge.

8. NOW LEAVE IT ALONE. All night is preferable.

Come morning, your rice will be super dry and ready for frying! Throw it in the pan with your seasonings and other ingredients, and I HIGHLY recommend adding a little Worcestershire sauce and/or fish sauce, which will help the savor on top of the extra flavor from the chicken broth.

And, if you’re really adventurous like I was last week… cover your rice frying pan with a quarter inch of oil and heat until smoking. Get a second pan out for your veggies/eggs/other ingredients, but add your cold, dry rice to the smoking oil and fry it in that for a couple minutes. Take it out with a slotted spatula and transfer it to a plate covered with paper towels (to soak up the oil) and you’ll have the tastiest pseudo-deep-fried rice ever. I was amazed.

I hope this helps you!

[thesinglestable]

Ginger Pork Burgers with Black Bean Mayo from Blue Apron