The Turn of the Phrases

[theturnofthephrases]

The Turn of Phrase records excerpts of stories that I read. A non-exhaustive list of my personal anxiety of influence. I’m knitting the fabric of the text, textile, textures.

how to appearance and body

how to characterize

how to description

how to emotion

how to gesture

how to interiority

how to location

how to process

how to relation

how to sensation

how to society

how to thought/idea

how to activity

how to memory/history

[theturnofthephrases]

Men in The Sun by Ghassan Kanafani (translated by Hilary Kilpatrick)

"Be sensible. Be sensible. At least it's better than dying." He didn't know if they could hear him as he shouted through his teeth, while the slippery hand covered his mouth. Or was his voice lost in his throat? At any rate, he could still hear the same voice as though someone else was shouting in his ear: "No. It's better to be dead." Now ... ten years had passed since that horrible scene. Ten years had passed since they took his manhood from him, and he had lived that humiliation day after day and hour after hour. He had swallowed it with his pride, and examined it every moment of those ten years. And still he hadn't yet got used to it, he hadn't accepted it. For ten long years he had been trying to accept the situation? But what situation? To confess quite simply that he had lost his manhood while fighting for his country? And what good had it done? He had lost his manhood and his country, and damn everything in this bloody world.

[theturnofthephrases]

Soft Shoulder by H Felix Chau Bradley, from Personal Attention Roleplay: Stories

Hekate's approach to touring was to expect the worst and to have as much fun as possible in the mean time. We weren't planners; we worked with chaos. We did it for the transcendent moments, those flashes when the sweat and the feedback and the lights and the crush of bodies collided in a hot burst—but between those fleeting crests, it was mostly loading gear up and down unventilated stairwells, getting misgendered and patronized during soundcheck, rinsing out our sour underwear in some grimy punk-house sink, pissing in Slurpee containers and tossing them out the window as the van accelerated, finally, up the ramp to the eternal highway, where nothing but gridlock, entropy, and endless tolls awaited.

[theturnofthephrases]

Lebih Senyap Dari Bisikan, karya Andina Dwifatma

Tadinya kupikir menerjemahkan itu perkara mudah, tapi ternyata untuk mengalihbahasakan rilis berita sehingga menjadi luwes, enak dibaca, sebagaimana lazimnya artikel berita, membutuhkan keahlian khusus. Kalimat panjang yang dalam bahasa Inggris terdengar anggun, begitu diterjemahkan ke dalam bahasa Indonesia berubah cerewet dan tidak efektif. Biasanya kalau sudah begitu, kalimat akan kupotong jadi dua atau tiga. Istilah teknis yang tidak ada padanannya kupertahankan dan hanya kucetak miring.

[theturnofthephrases]

Lebih Senyap Dari Bisikan, karya Andina Dwifatma

Akibat riset yang kukerjakan, pikiranku diberondong dengan bencana sampah, bahaya krisis air, ancaman kepunahan umat manusia karena nuklir, dan hal-hal seram lain yang membuatku yakin dunia akan segera berakhir. Seorang ilmuwan meneliti kandungan air dalam sistem pembuangan limbah di London, dan menemukan konsentrasi amphetamine, methamphetamine, kokain, dan ekstasi yang sangat tinggi di Sungai Thames. Air seni dan tahi begitu jujur. Saluran pembuangan bagiku bagaikan buku harian yang menceritakan bagaimana manusia modern gemar mengunyah obat-obatan seperti kacang asin. Dunia menuju kehancuran dan manusia semakin sulit berbahagia.

[theturnofthephrases]

The Book of Queens by Joumana Haddad

Beds. Two-by-two meters of heaven and hell, where so many promises are made and broken. A tumultuous ocean of ups and downs, yeses and nos. Fouad was our bed's iceberg and I was its Titanic. Which one of us sank the other? ... Don't say sex. Sex is just a cover up. A cover up for that desperate search of oneness, that longing to forget our intrinsic loneliness. If Fouad was a thoughtful lover, would I have still cheated on him?

[theturnofthephrases]

The Book of Queens by Joumana Haddad

Am I the only person on the face of this earth who's more frightened to live than to die? More terrified to be happy than to be miserable? I look at the cheerful face smiling at me, and I feel desperate and alone, like a still drop of water in a running river. How can these people be cheerful? Don't they know this is a scam? That they are trying to cheat the void? My mind orders me to feel god, but my heart won't obey. Somewhere between two, the nerves has been cut, communication blocked. This heart of mine is empty, no, it's full—of corpses. They are all crammed in it like worms, eating me up, slowly chewing my organs. Nibble, nibble, nibble, there goes my left lung. Is that why I can barely breathe? How much does a heart weight? An empty heart, a non-heart, without the load of love, passion, disappointment, anticipation, affection, ache, excitement, desire, regret, doubt, anger, resentment, warmth, ambition, faith, anxiety, suspicion? Without the load of all these we have lost along the way? An old woman I've never seen before comes and kisses me. I feel a strong urge to wipe the wet sensation of her lips off my cheeks. I feel like slitting my cheeks open with my long painted nails so that they bleed away this lie. Her kiss is a brown stain of my soul, telling me what a dirty fraud I am. She says, "I hope we'll see your children soon." I do not want any children. My wombs is crammed with corpses too. No place for a baby there. The worms would eat it bit by bit. I do not want any children. Not as long as children can die.

[theturnofthephrases]

The Book of Queens by Joumana Haddad

The snake was a she, just like the snake charmer was a he. And she should dance and dance until he decides it is enough, and lets her crawl back into her basket. The venom is there, of course, in her saliva, but she wasn't taught how to spit on her oppressor. She was only taught to obey; to feel guilty she was a snake; and more importantly, to imagine that she was the one charming him. The perfect prey is the one unaware it is a prey. The cheating mirrors of human ego are irresistible.

[theturnofthephrases]

Jubah Laut karya Nayrouz Qarmout (diterjemahkan oleh Sasti Gotama), dari kumpulan cerpen The Sea Cloak.

Di antara wewangian aroma nostalgia dan samudra, kenangan-ingatan bertumbukan di benak kala ombak bergulung-gulung ke arahnya. Ia rasakan sengatan-gigitan pasir di kulitnya yang lembut. Betapa ingin ia terbebaskan dari gamis hitam yang memeluk erat tubuhnya. Ia benamkan jemari kakinya ke pasir basah, dan jejak kakinya, seringan kupu-kupu, segera lenyap tanpa bekas. Ia melangkah ke depan, takut-takut akan apa yang bakal terjadi. Kakinya terperosok dalam ceruk, terlalu dalam untuk melepaskan diri. Tetapi, ia terus melangkah, senang karena telah terjerumus. Tungkai gading itu telah sepenuhnya basah dan butiran pasir keemasan, berkilauan di sekelilingnya. Ia berenang lebih jauh. Air mersap ke bawah pakaian hingga menggelembung di sekitarnya. Ia rasakan gelenyar mendebarkan yang hampir tak tertahankan. Gairah itu bertumbuh begitu ia melanjutkan langkahnya, tanpa menyadari kulit kerang melukai telapak kakinya, menjadikan momen itu terlengkapi oleh beberapa tetes darah wanita. Rasa sakit dan gairah mencengkeram tubuhnya. Buih laut mengelilinginya bagaikan gelang madu yang berpilin-pilin dengan aroma arum manis, tepiannya berkilauan dengan cahaya keemasan tatkala buih itu menyerap nektar dari matahari yang melayang di awang-awang.

[theturnofthephrases]

Jubah Laut karya Nayrouz Qarmout (diterjemahkan oleh Sasti Gotama), dari kumpulan cerpen The Sea Cloak.

Garis Pantai Gaza tidaklah bersih. Segalanya terserak tak beraturan. Bentangan pasir dikotori sampah. Tenda-tenda yang membercaki pantai tak ubahnya tumpukan jerami, adalah tempat jiwa-jiwa pemimpi berlindung, berbincang dengan khayalan terintim mereka. Begitulah keadaan Gaza sekarang: gadis yang belum mempelajari seni keanggunan. Seorang gadis yang belum menciptakan wewangiannya sendiri, dan masih—mau tak mau—tercemari wewangian di sekitarnya.

[theturnofthephrases]

Lili Putih karya Nayrouz Qarmout (diterjemahkan oleh Sasti Gotama), dari kumpulan cerpen The Sea Cloak.

"Baba, gadis-gadis di sekolah sedang membicarakan nyamuk raksasa yang meluncurkan roket dari langit." "Tidak, tidak, Sayang," jawabnya, "tak ada hal-hal semacam itu." Gadis itu mengamati wajah ayahnya. "Kalau begitu, suara bising apa itu?" "Itu nyamuk, tetapi tidak meluncurkan roket. Yakinlah. Langit hanya mengirimi kita hujan dan bunga, bukankah begitu?" "Ya, Baba. Dan serangga juga membantu bunga-bunga tumbuh. Ya, kan? Guruku memberi tahu kami tentang itu. Ia punya istilah khusus: drone. Itu bukan nyamuk sungguhan. Ukurannya jauh lebih besar—seperti pesawat, tapi enggak ada pilotnya. Drone itu menyemprotkan pestisida dari angkasa. Kalau aku besar nanti, aku mau jadi pengendali drone. Aku ingin menyemprot tanah lapang agar bebungaan dan pepohonan bisa tumbuh dengan cepat. Bayangkan memandang hamparan hijau itu di layar komputerku! Buzzzzz, buzzz—lihat, Baba! Aku jadi nyamuk."

[annabeth-the-spn-nerd]

A list of some of my favorite theatre-related quotes:

"He's not the finest character that ever lived. But he's a human being, and a terrible thing is happening to him. So attention must be paid." – Arthur Miller

"I know that my works are a credit to this nation and I dare say they will endure longer than the McCarran Act.” –Arthur Miller

"Don't be seduced into thinking that that which does not make a profit is without value.” – Arthur Miller

"Theater has an incredible capacity to move people to social change, to address issues, to inspire social revolution.” – Eve Ensler

"The word theatre comes from the Greeks. It means the seeing place. It is the place people come to see the truth about life and the social situation." – Stella Adler

"I like the ephemeral thing about theatre, every performance is like a ghost - it's there and then it's gone." – Maggie Smith

"That's the magic of art and the magic of theatre: it has the power to transform an audience, an individual, or en masse, to transform them and give them an epiphanal experience that changes their life, opens their hearts and their minds and the way they think.” – Brian Stokes Mitchell

"I think theatre to some extent is always about telling stories, isn't it, and I think what I've learned is that freedom comes when you tell your story; freedom comes when you tell the truth.” – Eve Ensler

"We have the ability to change people's minds and hearts - that's what we want to do with theatre. That's what theatre does... period." – Gavin Creel

"I've always been a believer in the power of art - and music in particular - to inspire change." – Gavin Creel

"Unless the theatre can ennoble you, make you a better person, you should flee from it." Konstantin Stanislavski

"The greatest wisdom is to realize one's lack of it." – Konstantin Stanislavski

"Create your own method. Don't depend slavishly on mine. Make up something that will work for you! But keep breaking traditions, I beg you." – Konstantin Stanislavski

"I don't know what really makes a great musical or not. In the end, you write it, and you write it because you want to write it." – Andrew Lloyd Webber

"You're the luckiest person in the entire world if you know what you really want to do, which I was lucky enough to know when I was very young. And you're the luckiest person in the world if you can then make a living out of it." – Andrew Lloyd Webber

"Obviously, you would give your life for your children, or give them the last biscuit on the plate. But to me, the trick in life is to take that sense of generosity between kin, make it apply to the extended family and to your neighbour, your village and beyond." – Tom Stoppard

"Great theatre is about challenging how we think and encouraging us to fantasize about a world we aspire to." – Willem Dafoe

"I regard the theatre as the greatest of all art forms, the most immediate way in which a human being can share with another the sense of what it is to be a human being." – Thornton Wilder

"Once in awhile, there's stuff that makes me say, That's what theatre's about. It has to be a human event on the stage, and that doesn't happen very often." – Uta Hagen

"The theatre is a spiritual and social X-ray of its time." – Stella Adler

"Theatre was my first love. I can't take the theatre out of me. And I wouldn't want to. To me, it's home." – Jim Parsons

"The way the world is, I think a silly evening in the theatre is a good thing, to take our minds off terror." – Tim Curry

"The theatre is the involuntary reflex of the ideas of the crowd." – Sarah Bernhardt

"Mum wasn't at all religious, but she thought that going to the theatre was as important a ceremonial, communal experience that a person could have." – Hayley Atwell

"In the end I think theatre has only one subject: justice." – Edward Bond

"I feel there's a power in theatre, but it's an indirect power. It's like the relationship of the sleeper to the unconscious. You discover things you can't afford to countenance in waking life. You can forget them, remember them a day later or not have any idea what they are about." – Tony Kushner

"The way you give love is the most profoundly human part of you. When people say it's ugly or a perversion or an abomination, they're attacking the center of your being." – Tony Kushner

"The more you go to a theatre and the more you hear stories you aren't necessarily familiar with, the more open you become." – Lynn Nottage

"I think folks who are resistant to engaging in art become less so once they encounter art that really reflects them." – Lynn Nottage

"And whether or not you're interested in opera or classical music or folk music or the theatre, I think that for a nation's health and well-being it's very important that the arts scene is supported." – Lesley Sharp

"It's communication - that's what theatre is all about." – Chita Rivera

"It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work - the night watchman." – Tallulah Bankhead

"I've learnt that there's acting for film, acting for theatre, and acting for an audition." – Sarah Snook

"Theatre is expensive to go to. I certainly felt when I was growing up that theatre wasn't for us. Theatre still has that stigma to it. A lot of people feel intimidated and underrepresented in theatre.” – Christopher Eccleston

"Theatre has had a very important role in changing South Africa. There was a time when all other channels of expression were closed that we were able to break the conspiracy of silence, to educate people inside South Africa and the outside world. We became the illegal newspaper." – John Kani

"Films I've really liked are when you've walked out and you're still in that movie for a while. That's virtual reality for me, to go into a theatre, especially with the use of sound - a subconscious thing that's underestimated." – Lynne Ramsay

"It's great to be in a film that's able to have people really want to become socially conscious, to walk out of the theatre and want to do something." – Don Cheadle

"One of my beliefs is that there are certain institutions within a community which stand for the spirit and heart of that community, there's the church, the local football team, the local pub and the theatre." – David Soul

"I think the same way about theatre, you go out there and you are creating a world for a moment that can actually have a real impact on people, present some kind of story that gives you something to think about when you walk away, feeling enriched - if it works out well." — Jeffrey Jones

"What theatre started to look at much earlier than any other form was the internal operations of ordinary people, sometimes using mythic models in order to tell the story." – Pete Townshend

"I don't think it's the job of filmmakers to give anybody answers. I do think, though, that a good film makes you ask questions of yourself as you leave the theatre." – Paul Haggis

"Miller didn't write Death of a Salesman. He released it. It was there inside him, waiting to be turned loose. That's the measure of its merit." – Elia Kazan

"I always go back to theatre. It's probably where I'll draw my last breath." – Peter Gallagher

"People always make that mistake when they talk about theatre - the notion of the 'theatrical' meaning something separate from life. If it doesn't relate to life, it doesn't relate to anything." – Brian Cox

"I think the theatre is as essential to civilization as safe, pure water." – Vanessa Redgrave

“Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.” – Langston Hughes

“Overcome the notion that you must be regular. It robs you of the chance to be extraordinary.” – Uta Hagen

“We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.” – George Bernard Shaw

“The power of art can break the shackles that bind and divide human beings.” – Daisaku Ikeda

“The arts make a bridge across this world in ways that nothing else can.” – Julie Andrews

“Everyone deserves to have their story fully told.” – Dominique Morisseau

“Somewhere in our DNA we know that stories are out there to help us understand what we’re doing here on this planet.” – Theresa Rebeck

“To practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” – Kurt Vonnegut

“Don’t listen to anyone who doesn’t know how to dream.” – Liza Minnelli

"Get to know your voice - it's strong, it's resilient, it's expressive, it's you..." – Kristin Linklater

"In the language of an actor, to know is synonymous with to feel." – Konstantin Stanislavski

[theturnofthephrases]

Tower of Babylon by Ted Chiang, from Stories of Your Life and Others

Hillalum thought of the story told to him in childhood, the tale following that of the Deluge. It told of how men had once again populated all the corners of the earth, inhabiting more lands than they ever had before. How men had sailed to the edges of the world, and seen the ocean falling away into the mist to join the black waters of the Abyss far below. How men had thus realized the extent of the earth, and felt it to be small, and desired to see what lay beyond its borders, all the rest of Yahweh's Creation. How they looked skyward, and wondered about Yahweh's dwelling place, above the reservoirs that contained the waters of heaven. And how, many centuries ago, there began the construction of the tower, a pillar to heaven, a stair that men might ascend to see the works of Yahweh, and that Yahweh might descend to see the works of men. It had always seemed inspiring to Hillalum, a tale of thousands of men toiling ceaselessly, but with joy, for they worked to know Yahweh better. He had been excited when the Babylonians came to Elam looking for miners. Yet now that he stood at the base of the tower, his senses rebelled, insisting that nothing should stand so high. He didn't feel as if he were on the earth when he looked up along the tower. Should he climb such a thing?

[theturnofthephrases]

Tower of Babylon by Ted Chiang, from Stories of Your Life and Others

Were the tower to be laid down across the plain of Shinar, it would be two days' journey to walk from one end to the other. While the tower stands, it takes a full month and a half to climb from its base to its summit, if a man walks unburdened. But few men claim the tower with empty hands; the pace of most men is slowed by the cart of bricks that they pull behind them. Four months pass between the day a brick is loaded onto a cart, and the day it is taken off to form a part of the tower.

[theturnofthephrases]

On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

With Lan, one of my tasks was to take a pair of tweezers and pluck, one by one, the grey hairs from her head. "The snow in my hair," she explained, "it makes my head itch. Will you pluck my itchy hairs, Little Dog. The snow is rooting into me." She slid a pair of tweezers between my fingers, "Make Grandma young today, okay?" she said real quiet, grinning. For this work I was paid in stories. After positioning her head under the window's light, I would kneel on a pillow behind her, the tweezers ready in my grip. She would start to talk, her tone dropping an octave, drifting deep into a narrative ... A familiar story would follow, punctuated with the same dramatic pauses and inflections during the moment of suspense or crucial turns. I'd mouth along with sentences, as if watching a film for the umpteenth time—a movie made by Lan's words and animated by my imagination. In this way, we collaborated.

[theturnofthephrases]

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong

... I fled my shitty high school to spend my days in New York lost in library stacks, reading obscure texts by dead people, most of whom never dreamed a face like mine floating over their sentences—and least of all that those sentences would save me.

[theturnofthephrases]

At My Least and Most Aware by Durga Chew-Bose, from Too Much and Not The Mood.

I’m still a difficult woman who startles easy. I still forget to wash the apple before I eat it. I’m still oddly thankful for the rush of hot air let off from the sides of buses. Like things could be hotter, grosser. I’m still doubtful my stories possess a clear point. The sound of men gulping water still bothers me. I still interrupt. I’m still unprepared for how unusual it feels to receive a postcard; the traveled touch of card stock; of tapered handwriting chasing vertically up the side, allowing for a squished, tender sign-off. Thinking of you. Miss you. An unforeseen Yours. Even the faint sound of a postcard falling through my mail slot and landing on my floor is, somehow, still enchanted. 

I still prefer counting to fourteen instead of ten. I still don’t mind, perhaps I even like, ice cream’s cold swallow rising up my throat so I can swallow it back down again. I still only have nightmares when I take naps. I still wonder what stops me, what version of me would exist had I let someone take my picture when I was younger, wearing a bikini with my hair up, while in the background an out-of-focus lake contrives to mislay the mood. Because hanging over pictures of lakes and girls and summer is the impression, often, of a missing person.

I still have trouble discerning between loneliness and solitude, and Sundays, and Schubert’s sonatas. I’m still dismally unfunny; restless when I sit on grass; too much of a daughter to forget about the dead. Even though I own none, I still love the size of LP records. Their square, tactile bigness. And I still believe that people who buy them and collect them aren’t snobs at all, but true blues. A record sleeve is unwieldy. To hold one is to sometimes appear like you’re hugging one.