the unconvinced cabbage

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ASTROLOGICAL PREDICTIONS  MADE BY MY GRANDMOTHER WHO IS NOT AN ASTROLOGER. FOR JULY/AUGUST 2016.

Here are your  predictions for the Months of July and August, according to my grandmother (based on people she knows born in those astrological signs)

WARNING: She is clearly thinking a lot about a cousin’s wedding in August.Also, it becomes quite obvious that my grandmother is indeed a Virgo.

K, Enjoy!

*****GENERAL PREDICTION FOR JULY:******

“It’s gonna be hot, summery, everybody’s excited. Concentrate. Get your clothes ready, look around- some choices are not everyday choices. You might choose yellow. Mellow, Cello. Cellobrate.”

 Which brings me to a collaborative joke we made up:

Q:What did the Cello do on her wedding day?

A: Cellobrated.

You’re Welcome.

AUGUST ASTROLOGY:

Aries: You’re all excited because you are in Geneva. and your wedding. You’ll be happy with your choice.

Taurus: Doing well in your job. You’ll enjoy every moment of what’s going around. a busy-body.

Gemini: Out for love. Make a movie called “ Out for love” ! or “ My two black socks” Look for movies in real life.

Cancer: We’ll make a birthday party for your dog. We’ll put out some bones- Some fresh bones to chew. I hope he doesn’t chew on me. I’m terrified. But you’re cute like a polar bear. Just please don’t chew my feet. or bark. Please be quiet.

Leo: Good people. It’s gonna be hot, so have a summery gown. Sparkly. Shiny. And Happy. You;re a good partner. You never argue, you just sit together like two little birds.

Virgo: I’ll take one lick of wine. You know sparkling wine? Last time I had a quarter of a cup and I slept so well. Busy. really busy. I don’t know with what.

Libra: You’ll eat a lot of pancakes- more pancakes than waffles. You’ll be so happy for your daughters. You’ll be jolly. You’ll dance.

Scorpio: You’ll do well.  You’ll be famous. Take it easy and enjoy the company you are in.

Sag: You’ll see people  you don’t always see. Make a new friend- they will become like relatives.

Cap: You’ll have a really good time. At the wedding. You’re very sociable. Like that time you danced with all those old ladies. So sweet.

Aquarius: Now you’re married. I think you’re 47. All the black flies will be gone and even dogs will dance out in the yard. I hope you have a baby.

Pisces: I don’t know for Pisces.

Aquarius based 90% on her knowledge of Jennifer Aniston.

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Astrological predictions made by my grandmother who is not an astrologer.For June 2016.

These astrological predictions took on a food theme.

Aries: They should eat fruit and vegetables and force themselves to eat some of this cake.  June is a month for surprises !

Taurus: Happy times, surprises will go your way. You should eat more pineapple, clementines and lots of mixed fruits. especially grapes.

Gemini: You should eat healthy food that suits your taste ( try melons, lemons and juicy fruit, like watermelon. Things like that. The summer stuff.) There will be luck in your life. the things you love will go your way.

Cancer: Lots of things happening.They will surprise you, but you will be happy with it.On your birthday you will find a sexy man  no, [attractive] partner in your bed. You should eat fruits and vegetables and you will become vegan-- I think it’s good!

Leo: You’ve got lots of personality, good company. In June, you should expect a lot of good luck and happiness. Good times with good friends. You should eat food that grows in sunshine, no shade! Apricots, bananas, cherries.

Virgo: Good news will come your way- and parties! You are easy to get along with, so eat an easy fruit like apricots or mangoes.

Libra: You’re decisive and good company. Things will go your way! Good people to have in your family. We care about you. Eat apples and mixed nuts.

Scorpio: You can be lots of fun. Enjoy your life- good things. Do well and achieve your goals in life. To do that, eat: Salads sprinkled with hazelnuts. 

Sagittarius: Good goals in your life and you;re trying to make it work. June will be a surprise. Better things will come along that you didn’t even think of. Eat: Mango juice ( So good! Do you want some now? It’s on my fridge door.) I don’t want to say ice cream because it’s not so good for you, but a little’s ok. With cones. Best enjoyed with happy songs.

Capricorn: You will achieve. You’re so sweet to call me  to wish me a happy holiday holiday- that’s something at your age. You’ll do well in your life. If you work hard this will be a good month, because later you can be in nature. Surprises will come your way. You’ll be happy. Eat: Corn on the cob, coffee, and some sweet stuff like chocolate.

Aquarius: Smart and you’ll get pleasure out of the things  you produce. I already think you’re funny, and it’s fun to play together. Relatives will come from far  just to be with you because you make them smile. Eat fruits and vegetables like some sweet potato. ( and maybe even sweet potato fries!) You’re so cute you’ll get presents.

Pisces: Good people. Like to help. Go out of your way to please people. Appreciates presents. June is party time, and presents will be enjoyed! Even small things can be presents, like those two good luck little horses they gave me from Sweden during the Olympics*.  Eat:.... Ice Cream? A few cookies (a few) (not too many)

* Dala horses. and I can vouch for how great they were. As a child I loved playing with those two wooden horses so much, it was impossible to tear me away. I occasionally dream about them to this day.

[justaneatmess]

Vancouver Fall 2015

Kodak Ektar 100

Konica Hexar AF

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Just A Neat Mess, beautiful as always <3

[theunconvincedcabbage-blog]

ASTROLOGICAL PREDICTIONS  MADE BY MY GRANDMOTHER WHO IS NOT AN ASTROLOGER. FOR MAY 2016.

Here are your “Bobstrology” predictions for the Month of May, according to my 92 yr old “I’m 39 years old!” grandmother (based on people she knows born in those astrological signs)

ARIES : You make a decision, you should stick to it. You are very bright, and now you are determined to get married, you can’t always put everything off.

TAURUS: You are a do-er. You are going the right direction, unless you aren’t the kind of person who carries things through, in which case you should be.

GEMINI: You are a do-er and you are trying to make the best of your life. Find a goal and work on it. Find a direction in life, by, for example, working on it. Ex: You want to find a husband- go places alone and drop something, and ask [potential suitors] to help you pick it up.

CANCER: You are a do-er. You make up your mind and you’re going to do it. Brilliant and Beautiful- all B’s. Bed and Breakfast too-- that begins with B. You’re sweet like sugar so try to find a real career.

Leo: Workers. You made up your mind  and you stick to it. You don;t give up. Determined to make great careers. Not lazy, so you should keep wanting those top results. I like [Leos] very much.

Virgos: Make quick decisions, don’t ask people, just make the decision and carry it through. Continue career because you have the right directions. Happy people. You are out for happy times.

LIBRA: You should continue to be happy and satisfied- make the most out of it. You already think you’re a teenager in your mind and you are determined to help people. If you come over again can you help me with the salad? They want to feel needed.

SCORPIO: Bright people determined to make a career. Continue- your path is right. I’m sure you thought about your path, so it must be a good one. Find the best way to be happy.

SAGITTARIUS: Happy people, right now  having those babies made their life happy. Continue, your family is your first priority.

CAPRICORN: Good people. Whatever they chose will go well with them. They are determined to continue because they are happy, so why change anything with them.

 AQUARIUS: These are brilliant people, and determined to continue being brilliant. What they are doing is great, because they are happy.

PISCES: Very organized people.  I see the way you fold things. Or, can be mean if someone has something better than you. Jealous. Or can be organized and clean. You can be very kind hearted.

BOBSTER QUOTE:

“ I believe in (...)astrology.-- Some of it, it’s not right, but some of it is usually right. Some people, they really are that way.”

* Aquarius prediction based 90% on my grandmother’s love and knowledge of Jennifer Aniston