idk

[hereforthecubes]

this is hauntingly beautiful and i've thought about it every day since i first read this article

[banchie]

Chat they made Minecraft into a silly goofy cringe movie even through Minecraft is actually about life and earth and the universe and tearing meaning out of the ground and molding it with your hands into something that you can be proud of. They made the pink sheep look ugly and funny for a cheap laugh when it should’ve been a beautiful moment where you, age eleven, come across this rarity, this beautiful anomaly and you hold its face in your hands and stare into its chocolate brown eyes and you realize what the whole world is about. Chat they made it into a joke

[musithical]

i think something is wrong with my shaders

[drawnsnake]

Saw this ridiculous villager kid once

[brightgoat]

Piglins will flee from anything to do with soul fire or zombified piglins. Brutes do not retreat.

[even-more-nonsense]

Failure to reach the heavens

[deepfrieddeltarunememes]

shoutout to the Manly Mandanna actually belonging (in Deltarune, at least) to a little girl that just wanted to be seen as tough and brave and probably drew the abs on it herself

[bramblepatch]

Grace explaining sheepishly to Eridian linguists that the reason he uses different pronouns for Rocky than for the rest of the population is that he reflexively defaulted to assigning Rocky the same grammatical and social gender that he himself uses, in a way that has historical precedent but in modern English is considered somewhat chauvinistic and backward, and he's not proud of it but also the habit is pretty deeply ingrained now and unless Rocky objects it's probably easier to just keep on as he has been...

and immediately being informed lol. lmao. do not even worry about it. you have no idea what kind of buck wild grammatical constructs Rocky has invented for you. everyone else addresses you as foreigner/scholar. they're somehow managing to refer to you as their sibling, ward, and semidivine culture hero at the same time every time they talk about you.

[tf2heritageposts]

au where tf2 takes place during the games prime (2007-2014) and all of the mercs are internet friends of wildly different ages and nationalities who play tf2 together on weekends.

the onky one i have down so far is scout is 19-20 and is in community college, and makes youtubepoops as a hobby but REALLY wants to hit it big as a lets player. engie ( who is a single dad) tutors him

[tf2heritageposts]

also heavy(extremely disgruntled and frustrated russian you know the type) does not speak a lick of english ( but is trying to learn) so he google translates everything and doesn’t use voice chat both on game and in the group chat they have because he’s embarrassed about sounding stupid. REALLY wants to move to germany so he can be with medic

[tf2heritageposts]

pyro has the default avatar and only speaks in impact text memes it finds on ifunny. nobody remembers when they met it or whos invited it but they are realllllly good at the game so they let it slide

[tf2heritageposts]

nobodys ever seen pyro show a photo of itself or heard it speak but one time pyro accidentally left the mic on when they were on call and everyone just heard fucking darth vader breathing until it realized then muted

[tf2heritageposts]

they DID find a deviantart with pyro’s username and it was filled mostly with my little pony base edits and some charmingly and kind of silly badly drawn gore

nobody knows if pyro is actually a child or is a middle aged man or a really old woman

[tf2heritageposts]

spy is still very much scout’s dad in this au however neither of them are aware of this until scout’s ma interrupts a call once and spy has to mute himself to verbally go FUCK

[tf2heritageposts]

demoman is a mid 30s tired old fart who is working 5 different jobs because economy and pressure from his mom which drives him to drink, so the group’s gaming nights are the only moments of levity he has. he’s passed out drunk on games and on calls so many times the gang is really trying to get him to at least cut back for his health

[tf2heritageposts]

elaborating on engie a bit more

hes a 50 year old dad with two kids, somewhat recently divorced. he’s got pretty stable work but its unclear exactly what it is however he has implied before he has a government job but not at all clear what sector. medic personally believes he works with lockheed martin. he tutors scout and helps him with his mandatory math classes, as well as has a hobby as a carpenter. he’s sent the gang novelty birdhouses he’s made

[tf2heritageposts]

for medic himself:

he’s also 50 and lives in stuttgart doing god knows what. scout once did some digging into him and found way more news stories about skeleton thievery than he would like and decided he would rather not know

he likes talking about medical trivia or giving medical advice that nobody asked for but always turn out being dead accurate somehow. also has a hobby of making industrial music and lurks on forums for dove caretaking, absolutely fucking PRIMED to berate someone for poor care for their birds. there has been a very noted correlation between users of a very specific dove and pigeon fourm and extremely gruesome murders as well as the deceased’s pigeons randomly vanishing. medic has around 50 doves. don’t worry about it

[tf2heritageposts]

sniper, also known as “the man with the worst ping known to mankind”, is a freelancer who has a lot of time to play so he is leagues ahead of the rest of the group in terms of skill. he technically lives with his parents but 80% of the time is out in his camper van having a good time. his avatar keeps changing to whatever fun animal he took a photo of that week, and it is not at all uncommon for him to have a nature documentary going in the background during calls. his username is something like “kukabara-mundy”

[tf2heritageposts]

spy refuses to show his face and only talks with a voice modulator (but is still obviously french). he’s generally sparse on details about his personal life and nobody knows what he does for a living except for the fact he is FILTHY fucking rich. he’s a massive cinephile and makes in depth reviews on youtube for old classic films as a hobby but also sometimes reviews newer movies which unfortunately has given him a reputation online similar to the nostalgiacritic. he doesn’t make much money off of it since this is old school youtube we’re talking about here, but again that’s not much of an issue.

he has 40 different alternate accounts, but has a main one he uses for talking with the lan group. his loadout is fucking deeeecckkkked with unusuals (when they become a thing) and he talks massive shit about his opponents until they realize “hey this dude sounds similar to that guy who said shrek was a shitty movie kill him”

[tf2heritageposts]

soldier is one of those dudes who’s REALLLLLY into the civil war and actively goes to civil war renactments and accidentally incurs multiple felonies because he doesn’t understand you’re not supposed to actually hurt the other side, and it is unclear if he is even aware they wre not actually confederates. he is so red white and blue he gleefully stabs a confederate re-anactor and everyone screams

his mic is impressively bad and this is made worse by the fact he does not posses an inside voice. when they play together he is the type to scream leeroy jenkins and gets snipered. his avatar is a mugshot of him after stabbing a guy who kicked a raccoon. everyone loves him

[tf2heritageposts]

NPC lightening round!

- ms pauling is a mutual friend of scout and engie, they met her in a game once. major computer geek and hobbyist coder, scout pays her to code him a website for his personal projects. redditor :[

- merasmus has a weebly website full of weird mystical magic bullshit and is in a very public feud with soldier after soldier physically found where he lives and broke his computer all because merasmus commented about rabies on a post soldier made with his raccoons

- admin owns the rip off skype/team speak the gang uses and is actively spying on all of its users

as for the mann brothers; they’re ceos what do you expect

[tf2heritageposts]

i’ve made separate posts for this but i’ll put it on the main au post too

demoman is a massive fucking nerd in this au. his handle is something like h2nshotfirst (he was really mad when the normal version was taken and has offered the guy with the handle so much money. no dice) and he loves anything sci-fi or fantasy. taught himself klingon and uses it every opportunity he gets. him and heavy have a symbiotic relationship where heavy gives him torrents of the movies he wants and demoman helps tutor him in english

he’s tried getting scout into star wars but unfortunately scout doesn’t have the attention span to sit down and watch any of the movies

[tf2heritageposts]

he’s also really into larping and has a few prop lightsabers he uses for it, plus a few prop swords and a bunch of actual swords. he has his favorite one propped up behind him so you can see it whenever he’s on camera

[tf2heritageposts]

his dream is to take the gang to comic con (the big one in california) and has been sloooooowwwwwwllly getting the pieces together for this to happen, but he suspects it won’t be for a few years. he has the group costumes picked out for everyone in a txt file on his computer somewhere

being one of the europeans, so far the only person he’s met in real life is medic, with spy declining to meet with anyone

[tf2heritageposts]

oh yeah i put it in the tags but his favorite sword/the one he has propped up is the eyelander, but here it’s not haunted by anything and is a sword he inherited

[rosefinchie]

how it all feels lately

[gamechangershow]

who did this

[gamechangershow]

hello???

[life-ennder]

makes me so sad when my friends refuse to pirate things and insist on paying for a streaming service EVEN when i offer to do it for them or teach them. like pleaseeee i have a vpn i have a plex server i can get you whatever you want. don't buy disney+ i can be your little poob i have it for you.

[zhoudadudugongjin]

Look I love unconditional devotion love stories as much as the next person, but there's really something so deliciously raw about conditional devotion.

I have served you and I have loved you for decades, but I will not give up my principles for you. You cut out part of my heart and took it with you down that path that you insist on walking, but you walk it alone. Even when the bleeding, gaping hole you left in my chest kills me, I will not follow you.

[zhoudadudugongjin]

me everytime one of my seemingly non-specific homoerotic text posts breaks containment

[inthefallofasparrow]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

interesting kink assortment on the dash

[lastoneout]

"I am not a vessel for your good intent" goes hard as a line from a disabled perspective. Abled people care so much more about being their idea of a good ally than they do actually being a good ally. They shove their good intent right down your throat and then act surprised when you tell them they're suffocating you.

[lastoneout]

[faggotvampires]

[ID: An image of a sign with a blue background and with a graphic of a stick figure in a wheelchair at the beginning, resembling disabled parking space signs. The text below the stick figure reads "I am not a vessel for your good intent." /ID]

[cupcraft]

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

[aropride]

do u like mine

[cupcraft]

Oh wow.

[cupcraft]

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

[dragon-in-a-fez]

if I see one more "why age verification is bad" post that doesn't even bother to mention that locking young people out of huge sections of the public sphere - literally the stated goal and primary impact of this shit - is wrong in and of itself I will simply start hitting people with bricks